V
T
THE CHINA MAIL, THURSDAY, AUGUST 7, 1958.
My ABC of Snobbery
By NANCY SRAIN
HE old snob game is a marvellous one and I have been playing it for at least 20 years. Lots of other people have been playing it with me; very few people are new to it. It consists in working out what behaviour is right (or wrong) and then sneering slightly at the people who are doing wrong. It would be terrible to tell them to their faces that they were doing
wrong.
In the tast 20 years I have noticed lots of changes going on all round me.
When I was a little girl 2 was Caught by my father that the only aritocrata who counted were those who had won their lends and tities by hitting each other over the head with sword and ience, This was called the Age of Chivalry,
spoken. The whole business o! being Scottish carries with it a tremendous" background of superiority and u therefore propre.
The Scottish consider, for example that as the English Royal Parully is descended front the Kings of Hanover they are inferior to the Queen Mother.
E is for... BALENCIAGA
Definitely top snab couturier.
who is good because she is BLAZER➡
descended from Macbeth
had silly ASTON MARTIN
by
Liberal Parliamenta und Bocialist ditto vitiated the aristocracy Awarding titles in order is pats Bills in the House of Lords.
All this depressed my father very much, but I cannot any it depressed me,
I like to think of Society as changing, exelting thing in which men and women can rise through sheer vitality, making millions if they please mod not being worried by a lot of non- senise Like, "Have 1 a cockney accent?" and "Must 1, wenṛ à white lle or n black when I'm invited to the opera 7
I am well aware thing 1 am A vulgarian: I am also aware that I am every sort of a suob. But who better than
vigat shob to compile at ABC of ambery 7
Here, as best I can. from A to Za few things that I have noticed other soh worryi about in the Inst 20 yrani. 1 dare say you have noticed sonte yourself...a
ABERDEEN
is for..
...
A town in North-East Scot tand where altegisiyTM Ine olay perfect (or Queeu's) English is
"It's so refined"
A Correct type of car. There 15, however, really only one_type of knob car, whlete is a Rolls Royce
Cur.ously enough one everung I was appearing What's My 1?" Kind Maurice Winnick came up to me, saying, May 1 give you a lift in my Bentley 7 And I replied "Oh. thank you, but I am going home In my Rolls," which. think dised me for ever with Maurice Wlanick
Incidentally, this is a genuine advertisement. cut from the pages of the sab magazine
New Yorker :--
KOLUBATOR AND RENTLIN
19. The Density is made by Hills Royces Except for the endians, they are identical mode aus, manufactured by the same engineers in the same west
The Bentry cows $400 lesa, because its endlane śwšimpler to wieka. Prople whan feel dilldeni abeast zhive sing"a"fudaloprernbeyTHeadey.
BROWN & POLSON
PATENT CORNFLOUR
a-sports jacket that means sonicthing, and therefore usually Auspect I. for example, you possess an All England blazer for cricket and ara entitled to wear it. It would be showing off to wear it anywhere but at
Lord's.
Those navy blue sports Jackets with fabulous; self-designed undges that some people wear at week-ends are terrible. So are the blazers with two slits at the back: whoever went riding In a blazer ?
BRACES
Trousers should Rt. not dangle.
BRIGITTE BARDOT
No tanger top sex kitten, but you would mention her name to your men triends if guu took fier to dinner, which makes her good.
C is for...
CAMBRIDGE
For some reason not to be considered as University
when
compitred with Oxford.
It is 328 Years younger whlet
Tiny account for 1. like the eldest son inheriting titles and land.
Also, Cambridge is more dedi- cated to science and șelence is. one of the new raw and un-anob subjects.
CAVIAR
Is good. But you cannot drink anything but iced vodka with it.
[WITH DRAWING BY OSBERT LANCASTER]
genuinely creative people. For tunately picking other people's work apart gives a great sense
coloured air it shows De wears his shirt two days instean of sending it to the laundry. brown shoes with bowler or spats (loth-topped boots ure
better than a man who collecta match-box Jubels (as King Farouk doeas,
what you should your tatc EMERALDS
of spala
Also, all handkerchiefs sould have a rolled, hand-stitched hem, which, ains, should not peep out of the breast pocket. All clothes which mean some thing (na the Old Eloning tie, the Brigade of Guards de) need not be worn. If a man hoe been to Elon it should show without a tabel.
DRESS, WOMEN'S
It is no good to be in the latest fashion. You may own one if you like, but best keep it In the wardrobe.
Alin of dresa is to look like a lady without looking too much like a woman (le. sexy),
DRUNK
It is all right for a man to be drunk, but not for a woman, (No. on second thoughts it is” not all right for a man to be drunk either,)
of security. Ba critics don't the DRY MARTINI
leust mind being no good.
is for...
Lnd: Docker was once dining DECORATOR
Of caviar with Count Alex Poklovaky in Maxim's and cried. Pink Champagne 1" and the Count nald gravely: Lady Docker, fou must never do that ngain." (Actually, all caviar. tasten a bit like sardiner which. though nice, are not good.)
CRITICS
✓
It is a dreadful thing to hire professional person to "de uver" the home. The home should be an expression of the taste of the people who live in 10.
"Therefore all decorators aro up to no good.
und
DRESS, MEN'S
Anno must not wear braces.
H
hard white collar with
"'
Crities are parasitos therefore inferior to those whom they criticise, They live of the wrlings of these nther so-called
New York. MAN told me this week that anyone who had not been to a racetrack hero
A
Was missing a vital part of the American scene.
After days of watching diplomatic poker being played at the United Na- tons headquarters, I was certainly ready to try some other game of skill and So chunce for a few hours. off I went to Jamalca, New Yorkers' favourite truck on Long Island.
Paper work
"Racing really is big business here new, you know."
said my elbowed through guide as we The testers to get to the race train. "Much bigger than base- ball. And there are twice as many tracks an there were 10 yours ago."
In all snot novels, the only
drink. “Is it dry enough ? " saya
the hero. "The only place in
Prelly good, but not quite as good as rubies. Better than diamonds, gold or black pearls
ENGLISH
It is best to be English particularly in Prince, where so have an Elglah segent in speak- ing French in good, because only the best famates of The Gratin (French anob word for Top: had English governesses.
ERMINE
Good fur, but not as good Ba Bables. Mink is wrong. (Dul nice and handy.)
ETON
Bchool. There are no other schools, just na there are no schools for girls, Curls should be UN adüented. (Nancy Mitford's great edge is that she never went to school)
is for...
London where I can get a realy FEBRUARY
dry martin1."
No Coward oner gold me the only way to get a dry martini dry was to wave a bottle of French Vermouth in the air over A glass of beat gin. This makes
very Dry Martin.
is for...
ECCENTRIC
Almost any eccentric is better hert than none But the eccentricities real money, L., A man who collecta-istands (as Bir Compton Mackenzie didi
Gis for...
GAMBLING
Artatocratic vico. It is indeed Schood thing to do that many quite ordinary people pay £10.000 for the privilege and so. become underwriters at Lloyd's and so become the grandest gainblers of all. Everybody diwaya, pretenda za naye 'staked more than they can afford tunis 1 v.. ob stuff and there 15 special language of livestock to protect it. (Monkeys, ponies. a of which, rather surprisingly, are cool.
CAMES
Some games are better than others. Polo is best and cricket i got a game, it is a religion and therefore best Rot men. oned. Very old obscure games ĺko Beal or Royal tennisi are good because old, and realiv dangerous games like Rugby football are goid. Marbles no Rood in spite of Lady Docker.
GARNET
A
semi-precious stona therefore no good.
GENTLEMEN
Hopeless in England during VERSUS PLAYERS
February. Bahamas.
FISHING
Best to to the
On account of the Queen Mother ud Ernest Heringwas (who actually writes al & writing-board in the stern of hin boat the Pilar, in the Gulf Stream) fishing has become
right agun.
It was wrong after Munich
and
One of the mystical remarks attached to cricket. Otherà are Middle and leg." "Bhort silly mid ra," "Man in the gully.' * Yorker," which even by thein- selves, are enough to quiet a cricket andb.
MONDAY
when the inte Neville Chamber and so to.
lain went Ashing and so brought
it down a peg or two_da.Bu. Decupation
the horses...
A racetrack is no
place for sentiment
-AS I FOUND OUT BY PUTTING
2 DOLLARS ON CHEYNE ROW
called Cheyne flow, and thinking of that familiar street in Chel-
sea. It just proved that a race- track is no place for sentimen-
elty. Cheyne Row was left obviously asping by another, unsentimental animal ridden
by Eddie Arcaro the chumpita Jockey.
This was clearly a popular
The train was full of silent win. devotees doing their preliminary paper work.
They
American racegums seem to rely on documentary evidence to A remarkable extent, were carrying arnfuls of special publientions giving the horses
histerles, und were strenuously annotating all
around me.
Dull track
點
They can bet
"Itucegoer: here tend to pay lot more attention to the jockey than the horse," my guide told me (belatedly, I thought). This might be called the Lady Godiva system of betting. Eddie Arcoro always gets the crowd."
Aero, it turned out, had at that point collected 22 winners out of 62 mounts at this track It ensi surprisingly little (for its season far ahead of anyone New York) to go through the eis. Ife is 42, a veteran by turile: about 14s., and this Jockey standards, but he suu entitled everyone to a seat In roes poundlag along in front of the grandstand. Out of this the rest.
Summ three kinds of Lax-
WIN
more than a word or two be cause of the roar of the wowd,
Federal, State and New York "Arcaro probably makes
The man beside me, a bulky City-had to be paid. The lax scound £100,000 a year,” added · enthusiast wearing a bright gatherers must love racegoers. my expert, irritably tearing up green shirt, trousers of emphalle here as elsewhere.
his losing mutuel flcket, The Black-and-while check, and red Top jockeys, men like
Angel socks, bellowed, "Come on, come The track looked a bit dull to Valenzuela and Bill Hartack on over and over again from met dead flat, and formed of all make that kind of money." start to finish, Everyone else bate raked earth instead of turi,
reemed to find solaca in some But I could not say the same of
form of volce, the crowd, which seemed to consist mainly of Runyonesque characters from Guys and Deils,
No bookies
Juckeys are allowed to make bels, but only on themselves, and only through their horse's
OWNET.
They e pold 60 dollars (about £17 10s) for a win, 35 dollars (about £12 103.) for a second, art 25 dollars (about CB 15) if they are third.
The guys outnumbered the dolls heavily, and most of the dolls seemed to be there more because of the guys tluun the But they also get, ten per cent horses. Perhaps this is the same of the winning purse and this at race meetings everywhere,
can bring in many thousands of pounds from one of the 1
Two dollars was the minimaan races. bet (145.)
*
Most of the racegoers. There are no bookies, of thought, looked as though they
a considerable di course. They aro illegal, and were still
all betting is on the pari-mutuel tance from this Income bracket,
as the toilisator is called
Horse 'traps'
I was interested in the start Ing device. This was a fine piere of American technology. a massive aluminium structure on wheels which provided each
"trap" horse with its own raber like greyhounds have in England,
And as far as I was concern- ed, it was certainly as prositable an object to contemplato as the winning post. I think, perhaps, I was with the majority in this respect..
At any rate, although
studious outward trip, I would not say there was any great Jubilation.
Millions of U.S.
molorists never pay cash for petrol, for exemple. Even thousands af miles from home they just wave their credit curd at the pump altendant. He notes the number, is the tank, and the bili comes afong later,
There is bly money lit organis- ing all this That is why Amerl- co's principal travel agency has just arounced that it is but
launch its own new prehensive" errelit card system. Competition is getting keener.
Phones, too
-
Ralph E. Schneider, a busflings New York lawyer, who has built up Amerlea's biggest credit card system in a few years, has nearly a million people carrying his cards today.
With these they can eat Th good restaurants, say in hotels, charter ears or airplanes, buy clothes or flowers, employ a Mercury for 监 day and all without paying a penny in eash.
In many owns the shops have combined, to issue a joint eredil curd do that a resident can buy en credit anywhere in his town once he has been approved and granted a candi
There are cards for a travet, and rall travel. And thore is. even a telephons credit card, Remarks of the lugubrious You just read out the number typ" ("l should of gone to work on your card to the operator and inday like the wife said") wore she will call anywhere in the for more plentiful than the world for you and charge it to exuberant ("Boy, did I show your home or office account. them") variety.
Card buyers
I have one of those selephone cards, much It seems to me a re- markably trustful operation when I go to a pubile telephone box and put through a call to But tha, too, I bellove, is my office in Landon Just by common to racing all over the aaying a code number. world,
But the whole Ameriena syɛ- 1 kone I shall not be mis tem is led to easy credit-i
I when understood
report maiding it as easy as possible to that Americans are finding less spend your money in fact, 3- and less use for money these
In prosperous circles here it days.
is now considered "ralher aid
pay cash.
They like it just as much as ever, but are not using it s much. Instead, they are using a pocket murgic-carpet- called a cross cara.
fashioned and fuddy-duddy to
That is why, when you sco two expense-account men árgy, ing polliciy in a res'aurent over Americans now carry a tie who shall pay the bill, you never collection of these cards in their sen any money being flourished.
on the wallets, and thus equipped they All you see are a couple of found!
There is a loudspeaker com- rettum Journey the travellers" can buy almost anything, any- tain pens, and a couple of credit.
-{London Express Sarvica),
I made a sentimental plunge mentary during each race, but - ware a good deal (for two dollars) a horse in the grandstand, never board vociferou Than
more where. on credi-erely by catch their showing the appropriate cord.
A
No comments yet.
Private notes are available after approval.