1958-04-28 — Page 5

This Funny World

"I'm glad I'm not one of your employees.”

BY

THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

do.

man

IT is not overy day that a about their clothes Ga

conductor's baton slips from tle hand and wings its wanton way" (Keats) over the head of the orchestra. This happened recently at the Festival Hall. The musicians ducked, and all was well" (Shelley).

was

chest.

Some years ago, when Richter conducting at the Muni- cipal Theatre in Dresden, a alimilar incident occurred, and a violinist was struck on the

resent "With manly mont" (Browning) he buried his violin at the conductor, and caught him on the left knee. "Fiticon ail!” cried an exuberant young oborist. The Incident Is described in detail in Mr J. B. Morton's admirable "Life of Gounod." Dow 1 edition.

Saying of the year

women

see her I would ke to

whone escorted by trougem ended just above the knee, and with a tiny brimless bowler perched on his head.

Tro-la-la!

SCIENTIST who learned A

the language of Japanese monkeya and held conversationa with them went to the Belgian Congo to talk in the African monkeys.

To hin Krent dis- appolniment he found that they him, did not understand "African monkeys," he sald, "don't Lalk

Japonese the monkey language." I wonder if this scientist knows the story of the anthropologist who, after a s 40th visit to a night club here, said, "I never know that baboons could talk American."

It is impossible, with the scientific knowledge available to | ts, to ascertain what proportion of what meat there, is in a saiadue.

(Minister of So-Called Food).

BUT

one

behind somewhere, barbed wire, the best brains

tracking

strange, down

banding. meala unknown Lo Selence.

A circle is not a hole

Ma

JUSTICE COCKLE- CARROT yesterday quoted the case of Commodore Duive ventus Fullgrove Steam Projects Lid. and Mrs Potheti. oppears that a Mr Sminum bud "claimed-that-a-circle-made-by- his thumb and forelinger, with the lips Joined, was a hole. This was allowed, with the proviso that it was the finger and thumb which outlined the hole and made it visible. Miss Ritson objected that there was no lux on fingers and thumbs. Engine- artifeer Quelch deposed that Mrs Pethelt hod described a circle in the dust with her Urat ahoe Dr Sagandria sald

could not be such a circle described as a hole unless Mar Pathett was prepared to dig down through the earth and out at the other side.

roo:71

It wres

then ruled that a superficial circle is not a hole, Dernier cri

A CLOTHES-HORSE is re-

ported as saying that men ought to make us much fust

CROSSWORD

1. He

(4-6)

→APTOSA

helps to keep you

5. Shocking joy

8. African animale, 191

11. Klevate. (51

12. Act distractedly. (4)

13. nat. (4-5)

15 Medicament. 143

10. Vehicle. (31

WALITE+

12. Adruitriem. 141 19. Greuses. (4)

21. Years a year. (4)

23. Anotuer 16 Across 13)

23, Near Eat dictator. (0)

24. Urge it. (3)

Down

1. Imposter. (9).

22. Dooop

9. Road

4. old ing

blox) (9)

4. TAXES 11.

10

7. Another 15

Aorosa. [7

te

toner

14. 000 K

19. Not a ble

(01

20. Droop. (t) Saturday's Solution

YOUR BIRTHDAY

MONDAY, APRIL 28

BORN today, you have a strong, aibelt zulher dognatie penton- ailty. Your one Routest fault, parape, is a tendency to pro- ofastinale. when important decision ANG AT MAKE. You want to be more then sure before you act. Your infultimis ars to be trusted, and if you would bred your fire in- pressions and not on them speedily, you would avoid the error of walt ing too long before you take the Brit, important steg.

Your Oxecutive and busincer capabilities are well developed and

.BY STELLA

love of gately and enjoy excitement

and a lot going on. You are fond of member of the opposite sex and ero something of a fiút. You may find yourself in romantle entangle- ment,

part of the time try- free you for curb this ado of your nature a little more. 21. early in youth, you and the one person. who appeals to all facets of your nature, then you should wed while young, for domnestie Loyalties will keep you from straying from Use fold.

Among those born on this date ar: James Morros, US. Ident

$1 could be that you sometimer Charles Sturt, Australian expires: leave too much for others to do. It Harold

is good to know how to suportion Barrymore, actor, and Palmer Coo mock. But there are times when it illustrator

Bauer,

platilet

and originelor

To find whht the stars

is better to do the job yourselt, Brownies,

. You have strang spiritual tersela

sod, arę, calthifial "and" comclentinus

sa the line of duty.

THE CHINA MAIL. MONDAY, APRIL 28, · 1958.

•JACOBY

ON BRIDGE

Peculiar Play Assures Six

By OSWALD JACOBY

TUIE student gazed at the mc- pert with awe. "Why did you try the boart Anesso before You went after the spades and how did you know enough to play the spades no paculiarly?"! he asked.

"Easy," replied the expert. "I wanted to make six no-trump end I needed a lotal of six tricks in the major suits for my contract. I I could collect three heart tricks I would only need threo in apades. Hence, 1 irled the heart Ancano bofore

NORTO

ASBE

VAJO

●AQ2

KJ7

WEST

Q10 70

4Q98

+362

FAST

10542 10973 #49849

SOUTH (D)

AKJ32

УКТА

KJ8

♣ AQ 10 Both vulnerable

Both

East West North IN.T. Pass @N.T. Pats Pass Pass

Opening lead-♣ 2

4

*

*

WOMANSENSE

THE SCHOOL FOR BRIDES: 3

Take a tip-from how Miss America plans it!

New York.

HERE is nothing Ameri- Tcans love more than a

нес

wedding. Weddings them at their best, highly, organised, unabashedly romantic, generous to an astonishing degree - and practical.

It's the sheer practicality of some of their arrangements that marked the big difference between being a bride here and being a bride in Britain. From photostating the marriage lines to having your jeweller lend you a stand-in wedding ring- Just in case the one you just bought from him rolls into the drain outside the church es you

going after the spades. When worked my spade play was designed to win at least three spade tricks against any Eination. Or heart finesse had lost I would

Tone after four spade arrive.

havo tricks,"

course,

com- the

Every item is solidly planned almost to the point of ex- pedience it seems to English Gifts are simply not eyes, of

allowed to be either unsuitable, duplicated or, one might add, surprising.

The expert had commenced proceedings in spades by cash- ing the king in his own hand. Then he played the deuce spades and when West played the seven the expert won the trick with dummy's nine."

The reader will note that the expert's play was sure to win three spade tricks against any Should combination of cards. the sult break three-two he could not lose more than one trick on any play. With the actual four-one break West was held to one spade trick. It East held four spades he would have been helpless also. West would have shown out on the second lead whereupon. the expect Would have gone up

wilh dummy's ace and led buckle his guarded jack.

♥CARD Served,

Q-The bidding has been: Wick North East South

24 Posz 2

Pass

14

Pass

You, South, hold:

LA MEIN $AE870 JK674

What do you do?

A-Bld three diamonds. This continues the force started by your spade cue-bid.

TODAY'S QUESTION

With both opponents passing your partner continues with a bid of four clubs. What do you do now?

Answer Tomorrow

TARGET

L E E

C

$

L

How many

Words of Foor testere OF MORE OR

JOU KA

she left IN Biking Cck word tās

each

the small squares may be ward oupe only. Men word, more contain the targe letter in the

ba st square and there musi least one nine-tetter word in the ilas. No plurkis no foreign words; bo proper TODAYS TARGET 1 14 words Dood 18 Worda, pery good ; 12 words, exoellent. Beltl

WEDLUTION | Aang walet

Monde saned and the STANDA desi dainty Harris duona doria debe cleari den der deity ovalz, dong dunia set den dan dise, diet des dont denomin a dyne edualty odiel odi) kwa 1600

PWDER MAKUADIT?

Lloni

of the

median

tido.

have in

store, for you tomorrow, eclect your

(There is, however, another site birthday wine-mox rend le conze- 10 pour nature, not na well known, ponding paragraph. Let your birth- „You have strong emotiona, have a day star be your dally guide.

TUESDAY, APRIL ‘29

TAURUS (ADF, Zi-May 21

sconrio (Ott ZANOV. fomance Industrial intervals are, favoured. If day". could a new proposition you are in manufacturing De psey come up for consideration.

merchandising, anticipate

excellent prob

GEMINI

Do

(MAY 27-Jun 21)— A day of pressure and seculona, no kang calot and take things free dividually or they come up. "Guard,

BAGITTARIUS (Nov, 21-Dec. 22)— This may be the day when negodīgs Bons which have been going on for } months will" terminsta "muccessfully,

CAPRICORN (DEC. Employment problema, especially. It -CANCER (June K-July 23)- you have been muting a new job, Besto, work can father your career come to a happy efimnase toxing. Flad ammations, so think carefully before out what you wak

action on mbylling 1-

perinat. (LKO)

(July 24-AVE. Attend to important business details toder you hear is Pupping «m, «iitembeful job, Belata 18"up"

24-Dept. HAME,

23-JAIL_20)

AQUARIOB (in 21-Feb. 13). II home legal matter how boop pending, you should receive, a judg ment. In your

Bo favour mów. optimistic.

PIECES

13) Your Badron -counte·m · Kresk

potenlist

should begin fr. show sĩ, tparing: noWEG

VIGO. Porncrisi · attitude ched today. For the best repakat be Ibecovery sypears to be in sight for co-operative and friendly toward you.

ANIES (Mar.

21-Apr,

----{#2

Thle 18 any active day with cons dieting beeldenelas,

34-0ck

ok taking a

•

of the game.

calculated" ride on matiure peciala, kne joj property busccns. Konkre

Thead and you will come out and

comed.

CHESS

The bride-to-be вост 00

almost

the engagement

has

been announced starts making but her "bride's preference list which 1+ obtainable printed from stores on special bride's magazines.

MATCHING

From ANNE SHARPLEY

MARRIAGE TRUTH

A psychiatrist and marriage ton.

sultant to tia yp ony details."

It is for females-only at first the husbands and boy friends of the givers are allowed in later for drinks, but the ooohing and eyeing phase is got through strictly among gila.

Gitis are showered either into an upside-down umbrella or a laundry basket or anything that can be bedecked to give a horn- prettily of-plenty look wrapped gifts overspill and pour over the floor.

(18

Shower-vacuum cleaners, mops and so on,

Glamour And what about a Shower? This 18 specially to Charming flatter the bride. frivolites like chiffon BCAVES, cosmetics or oriental touch this, perfumed lacquer for painting The insides of lingerie drawers.

There are "Coupon and Ticket Showers," where the wealth of voucher, pases and' scocon tickets that form a sort of sub- Currency In Amerlen is drawn bride can da so that the

on

everything from buying meat to going. bowling without produc ing any cash at all,

A "shower," a list, and every- thing a brida could want flown into the foundry basket.

Another more-firmly-insisted on tradition in America than in la that the groom England should wear a ring, too.

treats such as "sleepy head" late breakfast, and some hotels advertisu such lures 25 sumprise gift for both bride and groom every day" (to help you get over your addiction to being given gifts, presumably) and free use of a camera to take as many honeymoon snaps as you ferent want.

IN SETS They are bought in pots, one for the groom, one for the bride, in indreda of vartoties, rejuleing in auch names as "The Tenderness Set" One package honeymoon to free hula- "The Captivating. Set," "The Howall advertises Another and rather hazardous Revelation Set"

hulu lessons,

honeymoon And there's a Dime type of shower Shower where everyone brings

Honeymoons are big-hearted holel in Miami where there in a marriage cad- dandfuls of dimes and all set business with no newly-married psychiatrist and out on a merry and noisy forage, shyness allowed. Eri fact, rultant available to the up any to buy things en masse with the American boneymooners ko to detalla that all the lace," tulle, get together with hundreds of orange blossom; showers, lists, bride there and then.

honeymoons may other honeymooners in hotels and package that advertise "package" honey have lett Incomplete. 11300119.

3

GLAMOUR

ת

the

In the package honeymoon

Although In America nobody balks at weddings under water, or tops of mountains or even in you get a complimentary bottle

of champagne on arrival, aircraft flying at 20,000ft

cocktail party in your honour most popular kind of wedding is (when you meet all the other lush, frily, flowery and romantic new-weds, and lote of other

hotel, club in either a church, or, best of all, the bride's home.

Department stores will even Those dual-purpose weddingg make up an entiro, fully packed gowns that later convert, never shower if the bride's friende very muccessfully, into

party

Tomorrow

THE BUYING SPREE

-(London Erpresa. Service),

HOUSEHOLD HINTS

1150 just like setting

prefer Lo contribute money dresses are not at all popular If your skin is particularly water, Under auch headings as Afy rather than set about purchas- bere. Instood the clothing ia- Glass, My Holloware, My China, ing the gifte delegated to them dustry concentrates on making a dry, stop using soap and water lotion.

and instead use a good cream the bride lists over 200-items, by the best friend.. They are glamorous, BOTELES wodding stating colours, favourite make, presented without individual dress for all bridal pockets and cleanser, and quantity to make sure she cards attached, but with one big some of them are very cheap gets everything from a-meat-card-bearing all the donors indeed, and with no trill-paring 11-your-hair-la dry, rub a litle VARY BY REGION- thermometer to a movie camera 'names. to her loste.

local

beture

•

LIPSTICK SHADES

Women often go without beto,

without lipstick. stockings or gloves, but never

So says

Arnold S. Berice, executive vice-president

who Schiaparelli,

- either.

olive oil into the scalp Aftcon shampooing. The American bride dreams minutes 'SHOWERS' 1st This

of Indisputable

her way up the aisle in a muli- Then add a teaspoon of olive authority is lodged at

Showers come in all varieties, tiered mosa of foaming lace and ol to the shampoo mixture stores and with the bride's best You can have a Klichen Shower frills, no simple lines and plain when you start washing. friend. This is where a girl's pots, pans, etc, where often satin for her.

Lipstick should never bo very Parfums best friend is definitely her best to "personalise" her gift cach

nation- And afterwards she will have dark except for evenings and recently conducted It is her responsibility girl might present her favourite friend. to make suro the bride gets recipe along with the gift.

her wedding gown scientifically packed by what is known as the should always be applied with wide survey on the subject.

Barke also found that orange those monogrammed matching

a brush heirloom process." marvellous gifts without which,

Upstick went over

best few American brides start their

A

Losion is California. married life,

"After

Eclentlic

tollot

There is the Brunch Shower- Saturday or Sunday late break-

Souther "WORK good processing Last, where the theme is things like coffee pote, special coffee and cleansing your nating and excellent for stimulating the chase pink, golden ruse, and foses. In the Midwest, conservative, The best friend gives what a cups, housecoals, gay breakfast Jaces are hermetically scaled in scalpa and setting your hair. Illac called a shower or sometimes a table Unen.

pure helium in a patented ever- Shake a tow drops on to a pod ladies were most

clear using

red. last container of plastic and of cotton wool, make a oumber generally series of showers. This is really

pad Northern and Eastern women You can peek through of partings and rub the Then a Pantry Shelf Shower metal.

#ith When setting preferred deeper tones, canned gnodi, weasonings, the transparent window at any along each one,

befo with colding or bollet vivid blue-red the most popular. packaged foods. A Clean-up time," reads the advertisement,

6

contred

gift-giving party round a luncheon, tea or supper party.

T

BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE

It Was A Very Slow Walk

--Cricket, Glive and Glive's House Go Together-

By MAX TRELL

that you won't enjoy with me very much.

walking

"I don't know why you say o

thing like that, my dear Glive, I said. 'I'm sure I'd enjoy walk-

paths for folks like Glive. He ing with you almost more than was coming down this path that I would with any other friend 16. MET an old friend of ours. runs between the white pebbles of mine. "I today," Christopher Cricket and the dandelion stem when I

was saying to Knarf and Hanid, the Shadows with the Turned About Names.

happened to meet him. I greeted him and he greeted me.

Wise And Good

"a That's" "true, I said to Glive, the Snodl,

"Glive stood in the doorway and nodded.

"No one in the world walks more slowly than I do, not even the Calerplitors or the Tortoises. I'm the slowest walker that ever Hyed.'

'you

"But, Glive, I said, "To begin with, you're a ***It's a beautiful morning I very old friend and I think you don't have to walk that slow, aro very wise and 'very good. you know. It you would only The three friends were sitting said to Give

It is indeed,' said Give, as You always say pleasant things come out of your house, like on the bottom steps in the back ho opened the door of his house about other people. You ollen other folks do when they go for

of the house,

much.'

a little wider and blinked up make me laugh. I like you very a walk, you would be able to "What old friend of ours did at the sụn,......... you meet, Chris?" asked Knart.

"Have we got any old friends, Christopher?" asked Hanid. "AJÍ the friends 1 can think of ore young ones."

Always At Home

"Oh, no!" said Chris às

he

By LEONARD BARDEN made himself, a little intre com-

A problem by Dr. W. Mass- mano (Deutsche Schachblatter, 1940). White mates in threa

Botutton No, 5389: 1. ch: I QXB, RB ch; Bl. 0-B? mate. “

London #UFERLE Merzden

R?

Cortable on the steps by crossing five or six of his lege.

Thin

He's

walks

www a really old friend. Jac

one who always

around with his house on back." No matter where gocs, he's always at home."

hin he

By this time, Knart and Hanld know cactly who Chris- topher meant. They both said: "In Glive, the Bnall."

"Right you aro," said Chris- topher. "I met him walking Idowes the path on the other side

of the garden wall.”

any paths

of the garden

"There aren't the other sido wall;"'eald`Knart."

Not A Regular. Path "Not regular paths," agreed Christopher, "Ruž plenty of

1 "Why don't we go for walk?' I suggested.

Jaunt along as fast and as lively

as a Cricket like me.

Not A Real Houso

**Everything you

DALE

my 13

he

"Thank you for saying such lovely things, cald Glive, The ronson 1 don't think you will *"That's a delightful iden, enjoy walking with me, my dear Bald Glive to

but I'm Christopher, is because I walk right,' sald Glive, but I thought mc, dear Christopher, so very slowly. &fraid, my

Rupert and the Silent Land-18

The old Professor Jooks ́vacy pleased and excited as Rupert near him. "I've been watching and following you." he wniles. My new invention suma perfect and you're done splendidly, 15 Was 'tar of you to spot one big the flags that my dwarf mevant

put up and to see what the loop wis Lor. But don't come down yet. Thu's no wind today and my invention. is meant only for quhet days like this, so please try

gain and this time, sen, how lugli¬ it will go. It's quite mio." And Rupert Williaglý člimba ngaku,

be sounded a bit and 05

Just Arrived!

RUPERT

SPRING ADVENTURES'

2 Exciting New Stories in full colour

Cricket Asked, Shall why he carried his house with him.

•

spoke, 'But I can't possibly [ coma out of my house. It's not

really a house. It's really shell I call it a house becaus

of I live insido

But it's really a shell because it's out- side of me. But I've been side my house so long that I hardly mind it at all any, more, ~,

10-

"I can't walk as fast or na Hvely as you do, but walking alowly in't bad, either, I bave at time to take a good like everything I pass--the dowers,

tho the trees,

birds and especially my good friends. Bo, If you don't mind a slow walk, my doar Chris, I'll be delighted" to walk with you.'.

“And so," said Christopher to Kourt and Heald, "we took our walk together, I walked around with no house- ni - all, whiin. Giiva walkod with his house ali. around him; but we -hid wonderful time just the BRIDE"