1958-04-22 — Page 5

This Funny World

"What a report card to give a kid who has to go through heavy traffic, cross the railroad tracks, and a high bridge!"

How

BY

THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

[OW much longer will the One would have thought that

public tolerate the loss of the Report men-hours caused by the pour- the

ing of glue through sleves?

us, except,

on the Andings of Chillcote Committee had Tho made this self-evident. sooner action is taken to dis Even if there are foreign bodies such sa atonca or bits of ourd these aleves the better it coal or balls of etzing in the will be for all of ghe, the glue will adhere to them, instead of passing through the sieve. If, on the other hand, there are no foreign bodies, it will be easier to pour the glue

perhaps, the aleve-manufacturers, who must develop new markets for their products. The patience public 15 not in- of the exhaustible,

straight into the receptacle, I only want to help without the adventlllows ald, or, rather, obstruction, of a slave.

CRITICS are

CROSSWORD

Lcross

1. Big Dianes, (3-4)

6. Figh dressing 1 (0)

בלון

fond of mying that it is cowardly of audience to boo the poor actors and actresses, who are doing their best, But the author is not always visible, and, if he were, would the erities or the players be happier if the audience turned to his box and boond and hissed? Why do not the players forestall diapproval by boeing the audience in the Arst interval? If the leading lady stepped before the curtain and yelled, "Yahl Go home!" It might shame the noisiest into silence, Or it might start u general uproar of the House of Commons type, which would caliven the interval, and prevent the overcrowding of the bar.. Will Mimsie stand?

20. Sandown on the farm, (6, 15 MI

Annule. (7)

22. Take control, tal

Allow. 4]

10. Portal, 141

317, Partake of a drink, 19. & drink. (31 10 Boottish design.

(G)

21. Stora. (7)

Down

(a)

1. Star gazers may balleve in this.

́8. Careful D

telling, 101

14. Gako lugre

dient, 401

9, Sinister. (W)

Halt, 11

- B. Twinger, (8)

11. pa

(cath (4)

18. Tiny bit. (D)

15. Return tide.

18. 8 ba

follow. (3)

2. Clem. (4, 51

IMSIE SLOPCORNER-L

still dithering over "ber Invitation to stand at Torrington £11 the Independent - Tory- Liberal-Labour interest. "No- body," said her father, "could Eccuse-her of--introducing

60

glamour into an election." Her mother said, "Mimsie has never been one for politics, but I do think Our country needs those who are prepared to do their best. Mimsie said, "Just because o girl is associated in the mind of the public with social endeavour, such op being to local dustbin queen, some people look down their noses when she moves on to a higher

Yesterday's Hointion plane of effort,"

YOUR BIRTHDAY

TUESDAY, APRIL 22

BORN today, you have been given

By STELLA

The former can load You stray: the latter can guide you correctly,

• artistic talent by the artare, but

You may have a number of early $1 Deeds careful nurturing to bring Es out erature, drama, poetry

diseppolytiments in your life but if you refuse to be discouraged, you and mando are a few of the fields

eventually Butle

will reach your goat.. which you may find a

Perseveranc to your major Sectory oreer. Fond of travel, you

objetiva la of the utmost im probe vit mo of the amowa

portatoe. Never pamit yourself to ples on the face of the globe. If you become a performing be dissuaded from doing what you arte, you will want to appear in know je the right thing. all the capitada of the world rather then staying in one place for "long rum." Varley, for you, in the aploe of Elbs.

Although you have strong

oct make a complete upon

were:

Your eretions are strong. If you and exactly the right person who fit in with your mercurial teinper- ment, you can have an exception- likes ally happy marriage and home life. and delices at first me urria borut

you. Otherwise, vannin single. You Among the O born on this date longer seqininfarice,

Ellen Glasgow. Jamce and have a pleasing personality

Norman Hall and Henry Peking, make

floods wherever you EV

author: Ada

potres; You do

exeries, sako omo

Dickermon and Fister well, but on a zile you are able to Jonathan

Samuel educators Wheelock, wh them over after a while. Yo

Flipharde, artist, and Endle Albert, A perhaps a litião tue critical af

Learn to be a Ettis more actor. Kamernet of another's shortcomings To And what the stars have in sbd you will not have. to change store for you tomorrow, pelect your your mind so often. It is important birthday star and read the DAITOS

detingutal ponding paragraph. Let your ble to between impulse and true intallions, dry rtnr be your daily guide.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23

SCORPIO 21-MLY

207-

22)

(Oct. 14-Nov. TAUBUK (Abr. There is uncertainty in the air, en Appearances can be deceiving Sust Keep a level head on your shoulders now, so that all new potentials for and make the most of all favourable their sound, practical application.

GEMINI

{May 21-Jane

21).

BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. )—–—– There are apt to be which may lead you your main objective, firmly.

directio wwe from He then

GANGER. (June 22-July

The day improves as a grows older. De careful this moming; then full steem aband after Junxhíime.

23-

CAPRICORN (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)— Postpone now' (deas and work out. Do on the lookout for error An existing Job Deierly and detali

24-0

which could

THE CHINA -MAIL, TUESDAY, APRIL 22, 1958.

•JACOBY

ON BRIDGE

Underled Ace Sets In Spades

DY OSWALD JACOBY

EAST and West have a lay

down for five hearts but West did not choose to double with the one spade opening nothing in cluba At his second turn he might have used unusual no-trump to ask partner to bid one of the red sulla but he chose to pass again.

the

his

When North and South final- ly got to four spades West do cided to double and saved some- thing from the wreckage, South misplayed the hand and went down.

South won the opening dla- mond lead with the ace and led a spade, West played the nine

NORTH AKQ8

704

24

KJ 1082

WEST BAJO #AD84

FAST

Nong

K 100532

KQ1085

+932

49

47003

SOUTH (D)

10765432

*7

AJ AQ4

South West 14

North

Pass 2♣

2.

Pass

ง.

Double Pass

34 Pesa Pars

Paki

Both vulnerable

Opening tead♦ K

PALS

and North the queen. South re- turned to his hand with the nee of clubs and led a second spade.

West took his ner, cashed the and then queen of diamonds made the brilliant lead of a low heart. East won with the lang and relumat a club which West ruffed,

the

How did South misplay hand? He was almost sure to lose a heart eventually and should have led a heart. Instead of a club when in dummy trick two.

at

Then it would not have mat- tered how the defence went. South would never lose more than three tricks and he would have romped off with the rub- ber.

V+CARD Senses♦

Q-The bidding has been:

North 疆容

14

3⚫

手痛

East South

PRES 34 ++

You, South, hold:

1

454 WAQ876 #33% 4554

What do you do now? -

A-Bid four hearts. It five dia- monds fa bið you plan to double it and want a heart lead. Also, there is a chance your partner wht have heart support and you can make as many hosts as clubs,

TODAY'S QUESTION The bidding has been:

North West

Kast

24 Port

You, South, bold:

South 望

AKU JA SAQDAS AK175

What do you do?

Answer Tomorrow

CHESS

BY LEONARD BARDEN

The following quick win (J. E. Pattle v. R. Anness) was played in the Middlesex — Suffolk match. 1 P-K4, P~K4; 2 Kt KBJ Kt-Q03 3 B-Kts. KKU-K2; 4.0—0, P-QRS; B BB4, PQ4; 6 PXP, KtXP: 7 P-QL, KU-KU; 8 B-K13, PxPKK, KQ: 10 KIXBPI, KXK; 11 Q33 oh, KK3; 12 R-KI ch, K-Q3 13 QXK mato, An old com- bination in a new setting.

Solution No. 6386: 1 B-27, P-84; 2 B-86, or RxKE; ¿ Q-84, or R-Q5; 2 R—KJ, or B-X2: 2 Q-R6, or B-Q3; 2 KtXB, of BxP; 2 KtxB, or RK4; 2 P-85.

London Express Berlon

TARGET

HUSY OLLOS

UFA RDE

Season ALT

S

BUD

Choroughly. Tinista, sẽ before start-, prospects for profit, Bafeguard your

berlib ing something shoe.

AQUARIUS (JA 21-Vok. 18) 2) Dual forces are tilsky to meet hoad- -LED-thuly It's juslower the counts today, on. If you stay out and

sort out the Binasiese mental activity by chang section, you

Do Momething pleous and begia mealo. Aldurant this evening.

risces (Fct. 19-May. 20)--- dea to joa Tuviers Ta -24-8@pt. 23)-No1_Uvo VIRGO 2 Your job in waing on the road, odeslated rice. Hesba mndows, wande Chef kyou stand "be" highly e3OGORE--And slew and, cery, Wien tochter a Di Soday in staking new positiota, SLIBRAND

་་

(Aur

TIME SU Detachéogy" "Commerd besky sockam, which crud, omaro komt. De INST FULL AN ENDE Delize

you

Your ambillone seo diets bus your quotient may be faulty, wo shinức frie before-making, au important

GA

words of

DF more

you make Icom tas letters in tha

tach of the amaki ngaren many be mand ensu only. Each word must conlelD sia inrus jetter in the rentis squares. And there mus DWAS FORAL 909 Ring-driter word ja 'the List. No piurata: no forcint

WOMANSENSE

VERONICA PAPWORTH

BEAUTY-by one they all BEAUTY

After a month or more of the new, low-waisted look some women are in despair. Courage ! Cour age! There is en alternative, 3 go for the high- waisted look with drawstring under the bosom. This is the line. that make short kiria look taller. This dress Italian, but there first-class aro British aller

want to paint

QHE sat bolt upright on one of Claridge's satin-covered chairs-a nast

diamonds and an air of smouldering energy that anyone, but especially an artist, would find irresistible.

Now that I have met Helena Rubinstein I am not at all surprised that so many artists have painted her,

"Six months later Picasso calls up: 'Come at once."

"We fly-wo go to the house,

I had called in to ask her the usual questions that one asks a "lop bras""" beautidan. Not that there is any secret formula for beauty, but if there were, she would certainly have it. For, soiting We knock and wait, aside the women who have inherited money or married money, she is the richest woman 1a America.

And every cent of her foras, sald by the most conservative of assensors to be not less than 50,000,000 dollars, has stemmed from the cult of

beauty.

To quote the same conserva- Είνα Assessors, she cannot be voly much less than 80 years

"At last there is an answer, Picasso is not no well.'”

"And 'what did you say?" asked I.

"Frankly," said Mr O'Higgins, "Madame fald to me: 'Picano

he is an absolute devil' "

"All the same,” said Mindame, as so many women have said A before about so many men who

old, yet when most women baif were absolute devils, "he is in her ago and with half her for- darling."

tune would be draped over a chaise longue taking life caally.

On the "formula" for

she has just arrived-by plane P.S. good looksby Hubin-

-to keep the London end of the business on its toes.

A contrast

stein....

"Les clothes-I cannot bear

to see how women mute them-

selves up. From the carllest age

So, dressed by Balenciaga and the body must be accustomed to winking with jewels, aho sat fresh air."

ready to answer my questions. "Les driving around-walk- And, absurdly you may think, ing is a wonderful exercise,"

"Less food-everything showd bo caten slowly,

I thought suddenly of Whistler's paintings of his mother.

Also, dieting He posed her with her hands I do not like, To side a meal in her lapfust as Madame was and take only a Httle clear soup posed by Graham Sutherland, ls so much wiser."

Whistler's mother was almost *LES WORTy—a woman certainly younger when the train herself to relax. "Bat." But what a crashing quiflisers? contrast.

must

*TTEIL Self-disciplino better. It can be done. I know. There is no lavender and old I have done it," loce about Helena,

It faut soufrir pour etre belle,

We talked of the artists who chums.

have painted her Salvador

Dall, Marcel Vertes, Marie

Laurencin, Raoul Dufy, Teherle Boy in a grey

chef and so on.

Why not Picum?

"Oh, that man,” said she,

"I have known him for 20 years.

you

Always it wa

*WILL

I would go for the business.

flannel suit

LL over the country healthy,

Tory

bursting out of flannel sults are

"So at lost it is arranged and thundering

in disorganising

I go, with Mr O'Higgins (a long, thousands of happy homes with

the American who sat in on the glad cry of “FOOD-you to the South of don't know how absolutely, our meeting)

utterly staggering it is to see

France,

'A devil....*

plate full of food

"Measly Hittle bits of shoe "FUN! Koya Picasso, I take leather we get mostly--grey

in. shoe leather strips and Then for two a few notes,'

with huge black eyes potatoes hours I sit and he makes 15 in, and son of grey sloth "to sketches.

The next day he is not well and the next day also. "The next we return America.

follow, and....well there wasn't

so any point in letting you know,

to

If it catches the eye it's as good as sold

You've probably never given

Now-

are

"I mean well I was just

brave, I suppose....well, any- way, wo starve, But the head's wife's got a new coat....SOLO- I thing terribly rare-rabbit. thinic....but if it hadn't been for taking back my birthday on chocolate and those long sort money-Honestly-It's all gono of buns with king. Thxy've simply kept me going.

"Tuke tea for furtance," said label-our latest-la almost a gent boxes run horizontally?

Only in the British Isles "What does it facsimile of a £5 note."

they vertical. UPRIGHT? it much thought, but for the expert.

There's nothing to stop you

"FITT Do you really think I you the suggest to you? Quick and YURTE years

One Anal quiz. Does your millions of women who go answer instantly."

Great Britain... "Yachts," said I, Tommy detergent packet stand upright standing your box sideways with look At? Well, all I can say is shopping ini

buying branded have been

"..meneg" on the shelf? And are you for the aperture at the top comer. If I do, W's a whizzing miracle, Lipton... Cowes

wants the rest of that dish I'd expert. goods on EAR APPEAL. (I thought I'd fooled him nicely.) ever complaining that it toppies But you don't according to the it is honestly... and if nobody I do which seems to prove better finish it, hadn't I, because Did you know that all over "A packet of Salbbo, two "Quite," said Mr Londsdale

Only Mr Lonsdale you simply can't think what it's

ike to see roal civilised FOOD." boxes of Whift, and a bottle of Hands, "and it you look very Europe from the Netherlands something.

the Daring Do"....if the name closely you'll see that this tea to Mediterranean-deter- Hands didn't tell me what. tripped lightly off the tongue, suggesting freshness, saltiness.

or whatever was needed, the makers had themselves a seller. Suddenly, with the advent of the self-service store, everything has changed.

EYE APPEAL is what counts nowadays.

SHE LOSES

ovor?

BOYS' AND

O'Daff Plays A Trick

GIRLS' MAGAZINE

"It's always been my job," fly flying through the air, and sald Pixie O'Scowl, "cach spring quacking?

"So that's what I've boen do-

them

to get all the insects together in O'Cheer Hall and make sure ing all day long-tuning up all that they do their buzzing and the insects and making

again. -H. Pat The Insecta All Out Of Tase-

humming and chirping in just sound liko themselves self that he didn't want to talk the right way. If they don't, What a job it's been! How fired I am! How I wish I could just By MAX TRELL "A successful product," says

about it, Pixie O'Bcowl finally I've got to tune them up. Reg Thomas,

"So what does this O'Daft do sit here for the next, your and who Tuns a big

Old Oak, at consented to tell the story.

but camo into my workroom in not do another lick of work. O'Cheer the entrance to help-yourself shop, "must practi-OWN by the

above all, that Pixies lived,

All In Tune cally launch itself into the Hail where the

O'Cheer Hall, while my back How I with,

and Shadow

"Well," he said, "every spring, was turned, and mix everything O'Dat would go away Turned I've got this job of seeing that up. He made the crickets hum, never play pranks on me again!" spid Poor Pixle O'Scowl," Pixie all the insects sound right. I lle made the grasshoppers bark,

they and Hand, Inwardly....she's drawn to it.O'Scowl siting gloomily on "have to make sure that they're He made the mosquitoes meow. Knart

walked slowly home again. Oft He made the beetles grunt. all in tune and

You Can't Tell

In the distance, they could hear And "Poo!" he kept saying

"Just a rainute, please," said

"In short, you couldn't tell the quacking of a duck. They theo he said: "Bah!" And then Hanid. "What do you mean by

between the difference

the wondered if it really wna a` duck ha said: "Bosh!"

all that?"

customer's arms.

Children with "It's got to look so good that Knart and Hanid, the

found there, struggling About Names, she stands

(I know I've watched 'em). wooden bench.

She reaches She turns back. out for it. We've WON."

Milly Infuriating, in't it? I called in on an expert on

of fours, shapes, and packaging

a man who has helped to box

AS

Ho didn't even look up and "I don't understand it, either," sound of a Mayfly and the sound, or one of the mixed-up mayilles LOY hello when Knart and said Kuart. "What do you mean of duck! And how would any that Pixie O'Scowl hadn't been Hunid greeted him pleasantly you have to make the insects body feel it they beard a May- able to fix. and sat down beside him. : sound right and make sure that

"Go "way," he finally mute they're all in tune?"

and bottle-up half, or more of all that you see in the shops.

Ho is Mr Richard Londsdale tered. Hands, From him I learned the moat astonishing things about women.

Did you know that we cannot Toalet red?

"Anything with a scarlet band

100772

Pixie O'Scowl looked at Knarf However, Hanld reached over and Hanid with an expremion and squeezed him a bit between of price. "Now look here," her thumb and forefinger.

Shouldn't Be Rudo

he said. "Everybody knows that bees have to bum, don't they?" "Of course they do," Bold

so rudo, Hanld. "You shouldn't be

sald to the

sald Pixie

or backing is a Bure-fire success" you know," she

Their Kind Of Sound Did you know. that to every | Pixie..

“Tiddlesticks!" and

"And everybody knows, too," vellows sharp making mach

"that Pixie said

O'Scowl. O'Scowl greens suggest cleanliness? Late to

"What's wrong with you, anơ- crickets have to crick and files "It's the colouring they reach

of their kind have to make war?" asked Fort. for on the detergent counter."

snapped sound and grasshoppers have to "Wrong with me?" What a lot of sheep we are.

Pizio

"Holblag's "make their kind of sound and O'Scowl

· INTEGRITY ·

wrong. with me! I'a that all the beetles and Brofiles and and brother of mine, O'Daff, who's 'mosquitoes. and Mayales I told Mr been turning everything upside dragonflies, all have to make “From now on," Londedalo," Hands, 111 plec down and Inside out.”

their own proper sound just mauya or dark brown: labels,*- Koarf and Haniä urged Pixie axactly as birds and cows and You won't? mid- bu·cónfi- O'scowl to tell them what mis-, 'dogs and cals and bables, have

chlef Pixie O'Daft was up to. dently.

After hesitating for several A label, I learned, must have "integrity.

minutes and muttering to him

TODAY'S FANGETI 15 words! Food Fabwords, very good M

FOLUCION

„VESTKEDA

to make their kind of sound.”

Kuart and Hanid nodded_and" said they understood perfectly.

Rupert and the Silent Land-13

The Profrece sits and looks solemnly at Rupert, Pll tell you why made that thing," he says. You heard that feedful.nodem just now? Well, I'm getting very tired 'of this silly, nalay world. Poople are rushing about faster and faster

airplanes and making mom and more noise and I'm looking for a world of absolute, silence and peso Rupert welke scrOM (O the invention. And will this help yua fod i ?” he asks.........”! It may toys the Professor. ** It's a and building bigger and blesse, start, anyway,”

ALL RIGHTS RETKAVEZ,

!!