This Funny World
Kh
SLANK
RIDGHWAY
"Better wake firandma-she's knitting in her sleep
. BY .
again.'
THE © WAY O
by Beachcomber
whom I met in AMAN got on to a bus and Trish woman
sald to the conductor: "Are County Tipperary. When I had friend who to Hammersmith? gone, she told the you going "No," cald the conductor. "to had taken me to see her, and read my had induced her to Aldgate."
column for a day or two: "That fellow Butterscotch - there's "is neither
sense not meaning to him.” All the same, in this matter of jute, time will prove, me right.
"Well, where's this?" "This," wald the conductor, Trafalgar Square." "I thought it was Kensington,” sald the man. "One never knows where one is, does one?" replied the con- ductor, And that reminds me of the lady who said, "Can't you get along faster than this?" "I could," replied the conduclor, "bur, you see, I have with the bus."
You can hardly wait
TOMORROW the
to slay
full story belund the whole thing will Komeone who be revealed by Was there, and had facilities for seeing what was going on, 11 x most dramatic story, Involy- ing, as does, to much, and in. such an extraordinary way,
The jute controversy
A
CORRESPONDENT
who
evidently knows even more abrukhte hun I do, says, "There is not one single word, in all you have written about -the Jute figures, which begins to make sense." That recalls 10 me the verdict of a very old
1
THE CHINA MAIL, FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 1958.
JACOBY
ON BRIDGE
Joe Plays Badly To Lose Again
By OSWALD JACOBY
HAR
*
WOMANSENSE
Forget them, girls -Horses, Hockey
[ARD LUCK JOE won
the
Girl
Delivers Mail
ftrat trick with dummy's acz
of diamonds and promptly dis-
carded the deuce of clubs, He To North Country
led a heart and the finesse, of the ten spol lost to West's “jack.
Joe ruted a second diamond and played the nce and king of
JILDERNESS
Country
Waditionally is a man's
and Hysterics
intended
for
weren't THEY
me, but the words ricocheted
the gilded calm
of the "So they're sending
world, but one Canadian girl round apparently was never told Ritz restaurant
her abroad to be Guished-and about time
that.
trumps to see if the queen would drop. It didn't so Joe led a third trump. West won and led an- other diarnond which Joe rulled
a club 10 Eventually Jor led
- Janel Benson carries mailton. Figure like a sack of potatoes and dummy's nee und tried a second heart finesse to wind up down by dogsled through Min-nothing to say for herself.
nesota's rugged
one,
"My usual luck," moaned Joe. "Both hearts were wrong and the trump queen wouldn't drop. The club klag was wrong for me, 100."
"Bad play," said North. "You eruht have made the hand with an end play at the flush but I'll
NORTH (D)
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16
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YOUR BIRTHDAY
North and South vulnerable
overlook that.. the hand out trick one."
You chucked the window nt
North was right on all counts. Joe should have discarded the ten of hearts at trick one and played age and one club. East held the
][
country."
"north
Janet loves the wilderness Jul noruss the Canadian border from the old Minnesota Gunflint Trali, where she has lved at her 23 years.
As part of her winter routine, she makes weekly trips by dog- aled to the Minnesota shores of Jake Saganaga, picks up muil and delivers it to Isolated families on the Canadian side.
Tropping
i
"Can's think of a single mate who'd look twice at her at the moparnt. All she loves it horses, and hurses are the only things ever likely to love her,"
I pocked over my menu to see the speaker. I do enjoy eavesdropping. Ears weil pinned back I waited, but-oh, the
outspoken chap unfairness of it-the
with the walrus moustache had been shus-as-thed into a
murmur.
Buisn't true to say that his fearful descrip- on so many of our older tion could be pinned tehoolgirls?
Why is it that our schools have such a genius for turning mi such a monstrous end-product at such high cost?
You don't agree?
She also covers a winter trap- Can you coneelve of a carrl-
in Ave-day ping circult
tripsage full of senior French with her mother Det four schoolgirls overcone with mass hackles. Trapping beaver. mink hysteria after a trip to see an and ofter pelts adds to the international hockey match ot
Wembley? family income.
It happened inst week Jack England;
Janet's Krandfalber, Powell, and his wife first came No wonder they need to the border country
aboutshing."
In
་
"BA-
the average riding school hack) the proper interests?
A spot of ravesdropping at the Ritz,
As the birdiest of all bird brains I don't mind admitting that I've had a
I
£
one left me in a ditch with Jeg broken in two plices-arch added a smart klek in the ribs,
But I Sure I'm prejudiced.
school still think whale of s
our girls' good time in more than one, syllabuses necd revising so lat Latin city, and I've never the girls come off the assembly Jearnell a word of Latin in lines "nished."
Here's one suggestion for my life. I've never leamed a word of start.
What about no more hockey? Greek either-but it didn't seem
That should save an hour or No wonder the snooty seat of to make a ha'p'orth of differ- now live near the Bensons in a the Continent is being appited enee to my dancing partners two cach week for the feminine hand-made log house. Janet's in ever-mcreasing numbers, when I sailed to Athens,
aris. younger sister,
I've been called a helluva It might also help to avert lives at home
good sport too-bui nut by any any more hysteria on British sister, Belly, is married und
games mistress.
Railways. living at Tofte. 100 miles away
felt on the north
of Lake Superior.
1000. The pioneering Powells
Minerva, 13,
shore
the Why
certain circumstances, from the ability to keep their heads after an overdose of hockey?
What exodus?
older to our girls lack--apart, in
re- sporty?
Isn't it high time we ceased to bring our girts up as boys- Before Beity's marriage, the
uniformed, and regimented. at and Janet played guitars summer dances at nearby -sents......Because-practising--both- ered the rest of the family, the girls built their own log cabin i as a practics room........
Winter Is long but beautl- club king Joe'sful in the north country," Janet troubles would be over. At-
said. "I Ash through the ice and tually West held the club klag
usually catch enough to keep the sled-dogs happy." But Joc's troubles would he over anyway.
West would be in the lead with that king and would have a Hobson's choice, He could lead a trump and lose a trump trick or he could fead something else, whereupun Joe would be able to ruff his losing club in
By STELLA dummy, holding his losses to one trump, one heart and one club,
FRIDAY, APRIL
Since you are highly
3.
PORN today, you are one of those
all-round
who Individuela popular, magnetic and very easy to gol along with under any and al Cresmetannes You know preity definitely what you want out of life and you go about getting it in a quiet, orderly fashion. You may not have an eary, road to success, "stead" but since you have the fastens to cope with opporation and mculty you eventually will reach your goal.
You have a talent for conversation and, with training, probably would
ntional when it comes to love and romance, you may find that you get invndeed. Tuch too easily This perhaps,
inclined to hechting you are
flekle. You change from one in- terest to another with too much ease. You seem to be seeking for something you never End!. Netter make up your mind carefully before you wed, or you may want to make change after varen! Emotional control de a lesson you need for learn.
be able to speak well in public. In Among those who were born nr. foot, you of the feir nex are rather inclined
thi
th
And educator.
HATTY
C.
date were! William to be so garrulion Partridge sculptor:
John Weeka, might remember that sometime
'Charles Evia lughes and You
Edward alence proves to be golden
Dwigh statesmen; Pat leam a lot by Hatering other,
clergyman and educator. You
find might
that
Woodburn Chase, advertising, promotion or selling are three deld which are open to you and in which you would gain con- siderable macÕESS. You might also enjoy the arts, and while you may not have exceptional talent your self, you will be highly appreciative
At the gift of others.
To 'Ond what the store have In store for you tomorrow, select your birthday star and read the corres- ponding paragraph. Let your but day star be your dally guide.
SATURDAY, APRIL 12
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr. This is a day when you can take n calculated tak and probably win But. One of the times when you are marked for success.
TAURUS (Apr. 21-May
313-- Ilusineet may have taken more of your time tfiam tisual lately, po pet this week-end apart for social re Laxation.
GENINI (103 22-June 21)
wide range at interestin may Do Gompete for your attention. what appeals to you mot
CANCER (June 22-July 233- Make a warly-morning start on important matters, and theer when afternoon and, evening comes, you ERO Jelax and have fun.
LEO (Jnly
21}-
"You should succeed in any objective desking with human personalities. Enjoy yourself as a party, too.
VIGO
(Aug. 21-Erpt. 23)- The prospects are good, Just take positive attitude and plan your work with a view to' enjoyment,
(Sept LIDRA
24-Oct, 23-
Make naw contacts today which in- "chade attendosen ala inewing
which brings ploemure,
24-NOT- SCORPIO (Dek
22) Join, some triendly group activity neighbourhood where ou Will be doing othersom definite good.
in your
BAGITTARIUN (NDY. LI-Dec, 27)---
• fine day for shopping og starting out on a week-end trip," it that is when you would enjoy mout
CAPRICORN
Toulace Laudona
you
(Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
DENEY
You have ekzord a
on. The past tese digri have been
quite subpedi
VACARD Sensen
Q-The bidding has been: North 1+ EN.T.
East South Wesi Pass 14 Pass Pass
You. South, hold: AK705 A2 43532 4♣K54
What do you do?
A-There 12ay be'a slam and
I quite likely that diamonds will be better than no-frump.. Bid three diamonds to wee what your partner does,
TODAY'S QUESTION Your partner continues with a bid of three spades. What do you du now?
Answer Tomorrow
CROSSWORD
(Jan. 21-Feb. 13)--- AQUARIUS Your major interests should be wei favoured now. No matter how Varted they are, you should micceed.
10
R
PACES (Feb. 20-Mar. 201- Combine bukitems and social events with exceptionally favourable re- mulla. Add a dash of penance, too, for fun.
CHESS
by LEONARD BARDEN
A problem by H. A. ftussell
(Chasa Amateur, 1:30). · White maiss in two.
London 'Saprata: Quezon
פון
Acrom
Bigoted (9) Biblical
Robello p
Takra by the week or month gr svar, (6)
13. Lasteru prínos, ja)
Clan meeting t
20. iteminder.
21. Mountainside, mu, 104
23. Withdraw. (6)
24. Go in haita, (2)
25. Batinfy,
26. Unite by tient. fet
Dow
1. Figure of fashion ? (4-8)
2. Mend. (4)
3. Their town. (3)
4. Pool (4)
B. Forearm boun. (4)
6. Quarreliod. (0),
B. Attempt, (3)
11. Vegatable,
10. A Worth-
ington's am 61110B.
12.31
10, Dodge, 13)
17.
23
toro
18. Mesra.
19), Moth in E.
(4)
. Urge on. [8]
22. Aby Arom
the
vind.
Trainrday's solution
24
Correspondence Courses Hundreds of tiny islands dot the expanse of "Big Sag." Janet calls the lake, She finds it easy to find her way across the Jake, and often acts as a gulde to keep summer fishing parties from getting lost.
UTL
The few children living the Minnesota side of the bord- er attend school 60 miles away at Grand Marais and gel home! only at week-ends when the roods-are-posseblerade as a
HER DAY
All wrong!
I took my god-daughter on her half term.
out
What had she been doing the day before? Algebra, geometry, and Latin in the morning. Lacrosse In the afternoon, and after that she had spent a happy luff hour dissecting frogs' legs.
Let's be honest. Practically every womans wants to be loved by a big, strong, handsome man.
Is this the right training to gain his attentions?
As for horseback riding-at week-ends the lanes round the home counties are choked with Kad-eyed 11tilo Firis hacking along the larmine.
Later, of course.comes....the thrill of mucking ou!
the
The wilderness has no Cana-stables, dian schools, but Janet and her "They fight for the job," me sisters took correspondence | riding School owner told. courses. Janet also sent week- recently.
ly lessons to the Provincial Education Office and got an education without stepping into a school building.
"I'm so familiar with, living In the wilderness country that
the
As for horses-I've not the same way about them since
Woman's View
A
PROMINENT woman educator comes to the defence of junior as ho heads for the Band-lot instead of the spelling book. Mrs Itowena Shoemaker,
mother of two children now grown, says the "breathing opaco" provided by play 1 2 must in any education syalem, even though many authorities are demanding longer
school hours cach day, longer terms each year to see that U.S, chlid- ten match Rusian in book leorning.
"I have heard serious sugges- tions that wo Inerease the school year to 11 months; that double homawork be
sald assigned," Mrs Shoemaker, who for 15
years has been assistant direc- tor of the Play Schools Assocía- tion of New York,
"I'm not talking because of my job," she said, in an inter- view. "Bul nowhere have I heard the time for play defend- exi And I'm certain it must be, If we are to have children grow to full maturity."
"PLAY IS CHILDHOOD," she said. "But it we stop natural- ness, we harm the children. They do tearn while playing. but in diferent ways,"
"I once asked a teachers here to define" play," she continued. "One spoke up and said that play is something you do πολ nood to taka seriously.
group
of
mir-
"Yet we must Play is the child's attempt to learn more about the wild around him; to create, to live with his roundings. It leaches team- work, develops sportsmanship, provides the place to leat ideas, to experiment.",
"Certainly," she added, "thera is a lot of time wasted in our classrooms. But it's because of classes too large, supplies in- adequate, not enough teachers." Mrs Shoemaker belleves, bow- -VERONICA PAPWORTH ever, that the new concem over the educational system is valu- able.
Use Mask To Clear Skin
"Any comparison with Russia helps us to cvaluate our methods," she said. "We can't keep education in a yaciming, grow complacent."
The association serves as con- sultant to 30 play groups New York community centres, housing developments, inclitu- tions, day camps, hospitals, and | nursery-kindergartens." It. worka with the Board of Education's Bureau of Community Educa- tlon
Mrs Shoemaker is one of the recognised authorites on play- things for children in the five to 12-year age group.
Born on a farm near Presque Isle, Mc., she and her 12 brothers and sisters all atiended a rural school, where all eight grades were in one classroom. Sho taught schoot for several years -recalled that she rode horas- back to her early teaching jobs. A gradunte or leacher college. Columbia University, she taught in both-public-and private schools before joining the association.
-----A JIOME FACIAL, helps oily skin.--Spread-on-a. creamy mask....
lle down a few minutes, until it sets, then rinse it away,
MAGNIFYING glass is a tips. Rinse away.every speck "Some educators my "Take the me A
beauty blessing but it can of soap.
frills out the schoolroom," she tower morale! Peck Try a water-spluble creamy said. "Eliminate the cooking. must certainly Only
frirla - I
into it and pores loom large. musk that gels deep down. courses. Put in more science. emphasise.
But don't waste time despair- There's one that has a pleasing Muke mathemalletons and physl- ne rarely sees a boy in the riding party and if he is outing. If skin's oily and pores are almond scent. It's applied after cists out of all our children.
you've moistened your fuet with "Bul common senso teaches us he nips smartly home before enlarged,
warm water.
this can't be done. Some child- "mucking" begins.
If your blackhead or olly con- fren have no aptitude for science. is stubborn, apply the We can't put our youngsters in
----GAY PAULEY..
take a few steps to clear up the situation.
A three-times-a-day cleansing What can we do about our daughters? Are dead languages is none too often. Devote at least dition and live animals (though to be Ave minutes to the job, Lather mask four or five times a week. mould -BOB BURT|honest there's not much life in up. Massage suds in with finger
I probably could get a doctor's degree in wonderaft," she said.
BOYS'
AND
Dinner In O'Cheer Hall
-O'Scow! Prepares An Uppeal Kind of Soup-
By MAX TRELL
44 AS though
course, many others, including Pixie O'Merry, Pixie O'Gay,
McSnooze
Pixie
I didn't have Pixie enough to do aiready! O'Scowl. Now they give
me this job"
wald a voleč.
"You're
always
gramping,"
said another voice.
Knarf and Hand,
and
Strango Thing
-JEANNE D'ARCY
GIRLS' MAGAZINE
was standing at the side of the table with napkin over his
ami,
"Just like a waiter, isn't he?" Knart whispered to his sister,
"And another funny thing." said Hanid. "There's nothing on any of the plates."
At this moment, Pixie O'Scowl said in his grumpy voice: "Now Just because there's nothing to Now Knarr and Hanid notleed eat for dinner, today, I don't the a strange thing at once. This see why, I have to go out and
widlo, all the other get it." Shadows with the Turned was that About Names, who were, pass- Pixies were seated at the table To this, Pixie O'Gay replied: walter, O'Scowl. and their "You're the with their napkins ing through the Pine Tree Grove, voices.
paused to listen to the knives and forks, Pixie O'Seowl You're the one who's supposed
The volees acemed to be com-j ing from a tiny crack in the trunk of the Old Oak.
Pixies' House
Knarf and
Hanid
through, went down
slipped
a short fight of wooden steps and, a few moments later, were stand- room Ing in the wood-panelled known as O'Cheer Hall, This was where the Pixies lived.
room.
There was a long table in the about Around. It sot twenty Pixles, with napkins tucked under their collars, plates in front of them kalves and forks in their hands..
and
There were Pixie McBig. Pixie O'Small, Pixie McBroad, Pixie OToll, Pixie: McNarrow, Pizle O'Wide, Pixle McSuppery and Pixie McSlide and also, of
Rupert and the Silent Land-4
Gaffer large is grumpy that Rupert doce not follow him, "He wasn't much help.” mutters, the Jits bears Pll ask somebody else." Spying aume Boy Scouts lié suna to them. **What, did wẹ fear that noisc ?" laughs one of
· the boys, *' I should just think we
did it must have been a smashing new type of 'plane it war 30 fast that it was gone before we could look up. Or find no business tolly so low, “but wan't it a lovely swoosh! And now, good- bye. We muat go on."
We're busy.”
ALL. 'NIGINTA AKSHAVED"
to see that we've got something to eat on our plates,"
"It's not fair" grumbled Pixie O'Scowl, "And, anyway, I don't. know what you want lo cat," They All Shouted
At this, all the Pixies started shouting at once.
דיי
want dandelion soup!" cried Pixie McBig.
"I went a big ronst bumble-
beel" said Pixie O'Merry.
"I want two scrambled bul- terfly eggs" said Pixie McSide. Iwant a big dish of broiled biiltercups and clover!" said Pixie McNarrow.
"I want a pot of honey teal"
·sold -Pixie-0ʻWide,--
All the other Pixies shouted and yelled for the things they
wanted to `ent.
"Poor Pixie O'Scowl," Hani "I don't see how will be able to remember those different things”
O'Scówl stirred salt and pep- per into the bolling water..
1
In the kitchen, Pixie O'Bcowl was string some salt and pop- per into a big pot of balling Bald water.
he
"What's that you're making, all Pixlo O'Scow17" Hanld naked.
"I'm making i mirprise soup," Pixle O'Soowl enld. "It's some-
It was quite surprising sud- thing they're all going to love denly to co Pixie O'scowl nod to eat. It's called salt and pep his head (and even smile) per soup."
he said: "Thank you for telling me what you want to eat. I'll gel everybody's dinner ready in a wink."
With that, he turned and went into the klichen.
'And that's what Pixie O'Scow! served the rest of the... Pixles in O'Cheer Hall.
"I don't think they liked that balt and popper soup at all." Knarf and Hanld decided to Hanid maid later to Knarf. "But 400 what Pixie 095ówl war up they had to like it. It was all
they got to OEL,"
to.
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