1958-03-28 — Page 5

This Funny World

/ THE CHINA MAIL, FRIDAY, MARCH 28, 1958

JACOBY

WOMANSENSE

Page &

I

CMAS

Cocesto

"Let's hitch her to something and go get a drink of

water."

BY

0

THE

WAY.

by Beachcomber

is reported that neietists are preparing to reduce phy- sical beauty to a mathenatle formula, and I can well belleve it.

"You might as well say," replied the man, "but if two men wear one large hat they've only got one head between them." "Rub- bisht shouted the magistrate, "the two men wouldn't esch have a spare head with no hat on it." "It," said the man, "all four legs had been fled together, would you say we only had one

Already experimenta are being conducted to ascertain whether ants dream while they SFC asleep, and, if so, what they dream about, and for how lonx. leg?" "Try that on a horse!" If someone can And a bacillus roared the exhausted magistrate. that walks in its sleep It will

add considerably to the gaiety The camels are coming,

of nations. And if there is not

a learned man somewhere who

is weighing and measuring the Doul of a carpenter you muy call me F. Sladdiman Carpoyle Why East Sheen?

hurrah, hurrah!

YOUNG man who stole a caunel from A zoo, and rode it to his lady-tove's house, was described as having lived t wild life of excitement, This is known in zoological circles, especially among the jolly good

ON BRIDGE

Weak Two Bid Almost Works

By OSWALD JACOBY THE so-called weak two bid is

THE

popular with most top tournament players. Normally the bid is title to show a hand with a good six-card suit that Is Just below on opening bid i high-card strength. Thus A classic example of a weak two bid is six spades to the long- queen-ten and a ako aco.

West's two-heart bid with to- day's hand is not recommended. It is far too weak. When used in 1 recent duplicate it almost worked. Northi passed and Fast rained

three but South refured to be shut out. doubled,

to

Ho

North bld four hearts. To thought there might be a slam.

WEST (D)

904 KQD74

#942

NORTH

4Q70%

VAB

⚫KQ732

Q7

SOUTH

• A 103

♥JA

• A804

EAST AKJG

1080 3

• 106

4K 10 55

KAJOS

North and South vulnerable West North

2 ♥ Pass Pass 4❤ Pass Puss

30

South Double

Pass

4&

Ppss

Opening lead-♥ K

South didn't like anything but couldn't pass. He finally blid four spades on his three-card sult,

West opened the king of hearts, South won with dummy's ace and led spade. East played low and South was delighted to and that his ten held the trick, South shot back the jack of

cars and West was in again.

under a seal in a bus, ran along Fellows of our own London Zoo. This three West led a low club.

A small mouse came out from the gangway, and jumped of at East Sheen,

(Now: Item.)

THY East Sheen? Did

WH

want to go to Fact Sheen, or was it merely slek of sliting In the bus? A selentist sald, "It is not possible for a mouse to realise East Sheen as a definite locality, but a mouse which hind ved in East Sheen might want to go back there. H It

not lived there, it would prota- ably have corrected its mistake by runing after the bus and mounting it again. If its family Hved in East Sheen, there is a reasonable explanation of 15 leap from the bus,"

Establishing a precedent "IT

צה!

was announced," said the man, "as a three-legged race, but my father used both hie legs." "Well, so did you." ould the magistrate. "No," said the man, "I couldn't use right leg because it was lied to i his left one." "NaturaBy," said the__magistrate," "and the same applied to him. You both useit one leg freely, but the remaining two legs were used making three În ail," "No," said lan. "Lwo legs Wed together are still two legs, and two and two make

four" "Mathematles apart," said the magistrale, "even If, strictly speaking, there were four legs, two of them netext 35 one."

the

ay

one,

as burning the camel at both ends.

CROSSWORD

E 3

1. Ohange. (9)

Arrosa

5. Kige, (J)

6. Pulled up by trame police, (6)

. Top clans, 15. 41

12. Clean. (5) 13. Girl's name. (41)

14, gulle make-up, (9)

16 Volemusnew”, mitha.

17. Busslau cloth, (9)

19. River plant.

20. Pace, (4)

Den

(7)

1. Hopplug. (9)

1. One of a tuo sult 2. Tour. (5)

(5, 4)

St. Gile

In vit, 19 4. Painful cranun. 14. DI

7. Watertight

8. Operatie

aboe, (6)

10. Not (3)

many.

11. Pabricating.

12. Zor TV-

trian. (8) 15, Genuine.

18. Equipment.

133

YOUR BIRTHDAY ...By STELLA

FRIDAY, MARCH 28.

the dying from one place

BORN today, you are always on seeking, it is not likely that you would fare well in the hurly-truly to epotiorilernily or figuratively of local polities. You have many ef and mariage to make your fortune the quaileation for statesmanship,

if you will only use them.

in doing it. You have been given quicit. keri mand for busin429906 detalls an the ability to opportunity, seize it, act upon it and get instant results.

Probably the

ате

There is a streak of the mystic in Jou. You are interested in the beent and the mysterious, yet only your very alcost associates wal for this now thia. You Women mapabuitty in one angle fact: You exceptiotually intuitive and otten know how to inako each moment verge upou the paychic. Your count for something important. You instant kes end diafiken abould be fever waste

single Int heeded. You have t

uncanny Procrastination, Indecision

faculty for being right in your mÍAJI Delancy are words which are not judgment of people. in your vocabulary, Yau are quite capable of managing people as well rge-scale projects, and you know how to delegate work and then supervine ita getting done on kime.

a

or

You are not greedy and are quite willing to share your material access with those who have helped you achieve it You are honest, Fair-minded and keep your ideain high. If you could be permaded to water public are the chance are that you would being eflelery and bonour to any Dont you atglit Dapy. Since you are not self-

astro-

Among those bon on this date were: Perne LaPlace, the nomeri Aristide Briard. Frencht statesman: Louin Wulheim, actor: Samuel Sowell, jurist. Anne Douglas Sedgwick and Norman Happoos. authom; Reien Westley, actress: Sears Cook Walker, astronomer dat Theodore Frelinglinyme, and statenman.

eduestor

To And what the stars have in slow for you tomorrow, select your birthday mar and read the corres ponging paragraph. 149 your birth- day star be your daily guide, SATURDAY, MARCH 29 ADIKS

31-Apr.

LIBRA (50pt zł-Oct This in a high-speed day in which One of those high-pressure

20)~~~

233- days

you may be called upon to make when there in « Job going on eITY" decisions. Be sure that you decide where. To porrectly,

Accomplish epared

TAURUS (Apr. 21-May 21)- SCORPIO 10th

queen and Dummy played the South won East's king with the ace. South laid down the ace of spades and when both oppo- neois followed he decided to play safe for his contract by simply running diamonds. He could have made five odd by leading a third opode but if Exot had shown up with four trumps South would have been out badly.

I turned out that South's Judgment wELS a good * his bidding had been lucky. At all other tables West passed originally and North and South played the hand at no-trump. diamonds making three making five..

or in

The plus 020 for four spades was a top score.

♥CARD Seriden♦

Q-The bidding has been: North

Bouth West I A

Pass

Easi

1-

PRES

N.T.

Pors

You, South, hold; MAKIGO WA43 870 4105

What do you dɔ?

A-Bid three no-trump. There is no reason to rebld your spades and with 11 points your hand f noi strong enough to invite a

TODAY'S QUESTION The bidding is the same as in the question just answered.

You, South, hold: MAKING VYKI +Q76 $1052 What do you do now after your partner's two no-trump rebid?

Answer Tomorrow

CHESS

By LEONARD BARDEN

Y

150. 5773) From the Hastings tourna- ment: Black to move and win materini.

Solution No. 5372: 1 Q-Q3, Kt any; 2 Q-83, or B Qny: 2 QXP, or PXQ: 2 KI-83.

London Express Servies

TARGET

RAD for 1

.14-Nov. 2)—–—–

A good day for a travelling solemn You may take a journey to con

or anyone involved in advertising

solidate new contacts inade through

or promoting o nese den. Put it Correspondence. Besulta are ex-

GEMINI (NERY 22-June 21) cellent. A bidea day, but don't postpone putting these ideas into action just Get bury!

J'e Saturday.

BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21-Dec. 2)+ There is a lot going on Junt nonv and you need all your nervous energy. Make wise dicitons enleniy

for best romuita,

CAPRICORN (Dez. 23-Jan. 20)---

CANCER (June 22-July 21) There are difinct advantages for

A lelp over this weekend may being you now. Make progresi i mame

you in contnot, with new friends

·Important, venture. tro in also

who can slag. De useful in your Kursuser in view.

(July

dese ZI-AUR.

AQUARIUḤ... (Jan, 11-Fəb. Look before you leap, but is su po bis that a new loca will prove There can be romance for you, it practical and bring you definite 201 with #6-or it you're not too

23)

24-Sept. 21) (Aug.

203.-

buy with otline VoipeLE. VIRGO

PISCES (Feb. TO-Mar. Show upberpelas is everything today Combine budcow, and plenure to your own personal sžičnction, Det But don' be so

KOKONDDE.- what you Taratað snout out of thie

#pring in-beter!

day.

TW S

E $ W

Mindy

for letter or mora from the letters in the kquare On the left ? In making each word." fattera to each of the small sygares may de goed onge only. Fach ward mitat contain the large letter in the centre square, and there must be least con nind-inkter word in the No plural forelan worda ja nos proper, names, TODAY'S TALOEK : 11 words, good 1.84 words, very good | 36 words, excellent. "Bolution LOUKIT NOW

VESTER BAYISI SOLUTION +'Arsti meg.

Two new looks in beach-wear

***

* * *

* *

AT LEFT: A bloused poplin sailor shirt has Mediterranean blue collar

and cuffs, and matching little-boy shorts.

Both designs by Polly Peck.

AT RIGHT: A 'cissy" shirt top in tough, drip-dry white cotton is teamed with a pair of vivid red

shorts.

* * *

***

***

Colour Goes To Your Legs

THE news in nylon stock-

by

ings is no longer about HAZEL MEYRICK

BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE age or denies, of

The Lonely Old Mitten

-Chris Tells About Mis Midnight Adventure—

By MAX TRELL CHRISTOPHER Cricket came out from behind the wo loose bricks in the replace where he WIS spending the winter.

"This place isn't very roomy, but it's roomy enough for me, Christopher had told everybody. And now he walked over to where Knart and Hanid, the with the Turned- Shadows About Names were sitting and looking out through the window. It was a cold, gray day.

After greeting his two friends, Christoplier said:

"I had a curious adventure Inst night. It happened down in the cellar."

Starts Story

Khart and Hanid enid they would like very much to bear about Christopher'a cellor adventure. So Christopher sat himself down on the edge of the carpet, crossed severni Jegs, then began:

of hig

"Now I had been noticing for same time that an old woollen mitten was lying on that dusty shelf way at the back of the cellar. It looked ke a good mitten and I often wondered why it was lying there.

could do poor, lonely

wasn't something I about that ona mittem,

"The last time I had seen it, it was lying on the edge of the shelf with its dive dagers droop- ing over. But when I saw it last night, it didn't look quite as droopy,"

Knarf asked: "What wwe different about it, Chris?"

"It was lying straight on the "So 1 shelf," oald Christopher. climbed up to the shelf to have a clover, look at the mitten. And It seemed to me, an I got close to it, that I heard a little sound as if somebody was having a good map and snoring a little,"

Strange Thing

"What a strange thing!" said Hankl "Was someone in that mitten?"

"That's where the adventure part comes lu," sald Christopher.

The same

thought came to me. Who's inside that mitten?' I said to myself.

"So I crept Inside and, there, at the end of the thumb of that mitten, who should I see but Grasshopper!

"He opened his eyes and said:

"I couldn't help thiniding that 'H. Chris Is it spring yet?

must bo pretty lonely, because,

it

45

everyone knows. mittens always come in two's.

"They're like shoes, a right and a left, They're like a key and a lock. They're like a cup and a saucer. What I'm trying to

sald Christopher Say, Cricket. "s that there's some- thing wrong in one mitten's being all alone.

to

Wanted To Help

"Well, last night, I went down the cellar to see it there

"Not quite. I said.

"So the Grasshopper went back to sleep...

"Then," oald Christopher, "I looked into the long, first änger of the mitten and who should I and there but a Potato Bug.

*H), Christopher!' said the Potato Bug, opening one eye, What's slik spring? Is it here yet?'

219 "Is it spring yet?" the Potato Bug asked Chris,

"And in the middle finger, there was a Daddy Longlegs.

"Hi, Chris,' said the Daddy- Longlegs. 'Has the winter gone?'

"No, nome of it's still here,' I saki'

even

shado-

DA

Until now, stocking cards have shown nothing more buys her first pair of coloured that than the gradations from plain stockings. But remember mud to beige, But, suddenly, the colour of the stocking ca they're

shocking your leg depends entirely. proclaiming

skin too, and while pinks, lace nad greens, which your all blur luto soft pastels when blondes can choose any pink they fransinled inta fino denier like, brunettes look best in the thread. Every British stocking inrker colours. manufacturer now has at least Turquoise, a colour that was some coloured stockings in his shown la inmy of the dream

is ochood range and they're selling as collections,

green-blus and fust as they arrive in the shops. aquamarine,

the pearly grey nylons. Lilac, Remember, if you're buying dominant colour in Bo many

for coloured stockings, that what tower-prints summer," La might look gaudy in the stock matched in lilac stockings.

If you're following the fashion ing pack becomes just a hint of

Wear one for dark nylons for evening ant on the leg.

pair of

coloured nylons you're sure to buy more.

and wear, tey deep charcoal, rather I'm than black. It's more faltering,

menu-

predicting that before long no Many women will find that

who is interested in with woman

shorter skirts they will fushion will be without at least need longer stockings, so mako one pair of pink, blue or green sure you choose the right leg- stockings in her wardrobe. length when you're buying nylons. There are now "literal- Coloured nylons present

different leg- ly dozens" of first-class

opportunity for any lengths to each foot-size, ac- women who likes dressing up to cording to the nylon make her stockings a really in- facturers, so there is no reason 'dividual accessory,

for you not being able to find Take a summer suit in one of exactly the length you require. Una new clear greens, for in- Don't forget that your nylons She could complement must now it not only at the stance. It with grey-green stockings, or foot and ankle, but also really the alightly browner green of a closely at the knee, so if you shade. She could want to be sure of a perfect fit, ""Thanks," said the Daddy-seaweed Longlegs and turned on his lighten. the green of the suit choose u stocking in

nylon other side and went on sleeping with n contrusting pink, of stretch yam. And if you're la- darken it with bronze. And, if clined to be short and dumpy, she wore really adventurous, dhe try an all-one-colour outfit for could sport charizouse coloured a change. A beige skirt that is mylons to sharpen the effect. exactly matched with beige Pink tones-from coral to shoes and stockings, for instance, a will make the wearer look taller clear red-are the shado "woman usually picks when the end slimmer.

Sleepy Bluebottle_Fly

"And in the next to the last

Christopher, anger," mid uttle Bluobottle Fly was sleep-

ing

"Hi, Christopher! the flue Bluebottle Fly, began,

"It's not spring yet,' I said. Go back to sleep!'

"Which he did."

"That leaves just one Anger," sald Hanid. “Who was sleeping in that one?”

"Nobody," said Christopher. "So what did I do? I curled up and took a lơng nup for myself, right there in the pinky of that snug old mitten. I don't feel sorry for it any more. It may have lost ita male, but kim gut "So the Potato Bug went back plenty of company, right down to sleep.

to the end of Ita înger?”

"Not yet, I said.

Rupert and the Lost List-45

In the early afternoon Rupert Christmas.” He tells of his prar zaka permimion to look for his pals, adventure! And chid you all per and be soon finds them corning to the presents you hoped for 20 meet him. Now i ca explain **Why, m* cries, Algy Pug. all about the mysterious little "We all got inst the right soists, he say They was presents! D'you mean to say you' caused by Golly and his helpers went to Santa Claus's castle to listening to what we wanted for, choose them ?

LANARK RIGHTS REIHAVED,

RUPERT

WINTER ADVENTURES

Two Exciting Now stories in full colour

$5. C. M. FOST, LTD.

HOLLYVOGUI

Every Man Looks Handsome in a Hollyvogue Tie!

EASTER

selections now available