1957-10-28 — Page 5

This Funny World

ED DORÍŃ

Į "Better go someplace else for gas. That station is

BY

by

SEEM to have rend

14 miles away.”

THE

WAY

Beachcomber

some- nowadays." cuumments where that the self-reliant, mather. independent gir of today khows how to look after herself.

No longer can a "baron" with a courtly manner get her to pay his card debts by talking of his castle in Carintlila. Evidently be has to think of a more platisible story. I have just been reading In my paper about the man schö Ao fascinated a-girl by his tales of a visit to the planet Verus in a space-ship that she gove him £4,284 to develop an idle for a magnetic lux inoculator which had occurred to while he was absent in space. He returned to Venus with the money, and soon after someone telephoned to the gh the news He that he had died up there. turned out fr be sign-painter.

Father smells a rat

hini

THE most of the above thiny

"

ter

-

should be taken to hear by 1 L all tomontie girls. apys:

Just back gol an les for Mars where I

refracted propulsion screw, And £10,204 9s. and if eart

1⁄2d. by next week, when return to Mars, I can get

giel should work on It," the Fotisull her parents

the with parting fore

The money.

cautious father,

that the having ascertained

the not on name waS man's

space- passenger si of any

The Martin pute Supor within the last six months, will begin 10 suspect something. "The queerest people seem to to cocktail parties get asked

CROSSWORD

the

-

The Aberbananer Ace

Evans the agu COME time

Hearse neurly lost his amateur

when he stutus accepted

from a 11 pra

firm before one of his matches. He is again in trouble for accepting tubes of Nostrilol four dozen the preparation used by pea- hardey their pushers

What Is ostrils.

more, an the photograph. of enlarged

before and after using Rostrils. Nastrill, appeared in the Nasal and Gazelle Pra-Pushers' Argus. The caption said: "The Ace Trains On Aberbanter Nostrilol. Are Your Nostrils As Hard As Iron?"

Sayings of the week

Pudge If

mained 7/2014 changes his name by deed-poli to Fludgate, it is his own affair. (My E. 0. Grisite, Curato

Pottery the Harpenden Institute.)

Actors always toole unshaved heenuse they get up so late in the morning.

THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1957.

•JACOBY

ON BRIDGE

WOMANSENSE

Page

East Voids Barrier Who would you like for your mother-Dr. Edith or me?

Play

BY OSWALD JACOBY NOUTH look stock of the hand before playing from dummy. He noted that he had to knock

out the ace of hearts and would also

the club need to take

Anesse. If that finesse went wrong and he also lost three gade tricks he would be down one al Ils three no-trump contract.

E my pencil and scratch

VERY Sunday I chew

newx

to my HoN:

asks ANNE SCOTT-JAMES

child Imaginary feller to the same

boy in the style of Dr E-

Darling M

out a letter Evory mother with a away at school, at work, or on National Service does much the same thing.

My letter is just a string of family gossip.

All the and

small detalls which keep him in touch. But on reading Edith Sum- merskill' Lettera Daughter, published recent South did not duck that firstly. I'm wondering if I'm off lead. He decided that a barrier the beam. Each of her let play was called for and went tere is a self-contained poli-

tical tract.

If he had ducked the first spade lend that is exactly what would have happened to him. East would have taken the queen and returned the sult.

WEST

A KJOG A 75

• Ja3 653

NORTH (D) 4A72

JU43 Q4

AQ98

EAST

408

❤862

10 9 6 5 2.

K74

SOUTH

105 43

KQ 10

ART

J102

No one vulnerable

North 14

East

Bouth

Pass

2 N.T.

JN.T.

Pess

Pass

West Pass Pass

Opening lead--♣ 0

If

right up with dummy's are. East had dropped the eight on that trick the barrier play would have succeeded. Declarer would have knocked out West's ace of hearts and the defence would not

able to have becu collect their threk spade tricks.

Eart was Mrs D. J. Cook uf Mrs Cook had Winnelka, 11.

barrier plays before and seen realised exactly what the Imtre diate play of the sale ace lin- probable She saw pl«?. counter for the play this time and proceeded to drop queen under the ace.

to mi

I'm miserable you've got a cold, but I'm afraid we've all got them. I've sent you one of those model planes to construct to help pass the lime. I hope it's complicated enough-there are 157 different parts.

at

Don't collapse, but yesterday Chirpy nearly met a marlyr's death. I shan't let him out meal-times again. We had some boiling hot onion soup, and he new straight at my soup plate and fell half in before 1 grabbed him.

I

we

SOME GRUB

new

of

the minimum standards of health,

YESTERDAY

Tu loo many making sensational social equality. am

Yesterday I went to Lililo plans for the Christmas holl-homea loday it is all assumed Mudford, in Staffordshire is a

toys. I think

have All that the husband will earn the member of n delegation to n rniher had the circus, and family income, while the wife conference on the Nationalsa- thought we might break

remains chained to the sink. tion of Housing. ground and go to, un tee show,

Unit becomes customary Through a gross piece of What do you think?

for the husband and wife to inemeicney on the part of the divide the work according to reception committee, there was their aptitudes, there will be nobody to mest us. Imagine s Have sent you seme grub at

millions of unhappy and fris group of two privy Councillors, traled families, and much

a distinguished psychiatrist, and requested, and a revolting look-

the

Editor of finert resources of the

Woman's Page Ang chocolate cake with plak the dearations. I must say your nation will be sadly squandered, the Sunday Express standing in taste in food is very immature. Think these problems over the ran at a wayelde station

Have you run out of things while you are standing idle without transport,

When all property is a to rend? I can't find any more playing goalie in the football war books--you've read

tienalised, these annoying in- them field.

cidents will no longer occur. all. But I hear there is o new

I

ittle puzzled by am G

On Tuesday, I attended a series coming out called Great

for additional luncheon party in Westminster request Disasters of the World,

which your

nutriment, I understand that at which I sat between Mr Tom sounds just your meat,

Cloved your birthday the calorie intake allowed by Driberg and The Rt. Hon. Hugh is Dalton, P.C., M.P. I had an her the school catering section present I think it was smells

favourite and her party went adequate for health, and I intensely intercaling conversa- the ten with Mr Driberg on doubt if it is wise to acquire baux. 1 must taste for of! with when I think of the horrors of

foods subject of automation in China. extra luxury which it may not always be the parties when

I hope you have thought over were

of last weck yannt all there hastly little possible or advisable to gratify. my comments

I am sure you realise that about

discrimination, fight bag and smashing boys Ühings—a Bitte girls'

are unhappy people in and have spoken to your head- party seems very sedate, I can't tell many of our Colonial icrritories master about eliminating box- you how sweet they all looked whose nutritional intake falls ing from the school curriculum. in their party frocks. One of

below that required for

Fond Love, Mama. them helually wore face powder!

Am 1 There was soup all over the Which of us is right? too trivial? Or is the too in- fable, great alurin, and he had honest to be washed. He seems in human?' like your views, Below I print a

typical good fettle now, but lefler of my sort, and an strongly of onlor

BOYS AND GIRLS.

MAGAZINE -

Mr. Punch, Inventor

-One of His Inventions Was The World's Best-

By MAX TRELL

KNARF, the Shadow Boy, and

his two friends, Teddy, the Stuffed Bear, and hawatha, the Wooden Indian, walked up 1 whore Mr Punch wus 100zlug contentedly in his choir.

"Mr Punch," said Knarf, "Mr Punch" said Teddy in louder voice.

"Mr Panch! yelled Hiawatha. Mr Punch suddenly sat up and opened his eyes, Her

Wheth West gat in with the (Chief Vava of the Wuli)ace of hearts he realised that if porridge cost as much as champagne, restaurants would serve it as night.

02

-

[ET]

T

1. Alte.

Across

6. Orange buna, (4)

7. Hidden fences 15)

Teacher's gilt. (8)

10. Toss for tearing.

12. In addition, 13)

13. P. (6)

(0)

14. Company in Pmnce, 197

1. Noisy difference. (9)

18. Boon. (6)

10. After arvest,

(B)

22. Give it, listener. (31

2. Bomeliama wresting with

280) (4)

It began on Sunday. (4)

Down

1. Drinking placs,

2. One schwer. (3)

3. Unvoll. (3)

(0)

Aparing tired and sleepy. (P)

5. Employed.

7. Powls. (43).

8. Christmas bicorner. (8)

•

10. Another kind of pula (try it).

11. Kind

15, it sounds

like

iCom

Burter.

(6)

story.

(0)

17. We are ran BA

together.

(0)

20. does

order. [3]

21. Fear with

(0)

Saturday's Solution

CHESS

by LEONARD BARDEN

(No. 235)

A problem by J. Posplall Prague, 1996). White matca to three.

London Hayranı Torsion.

(Dune Edna Howland.)

TARGET

How many

words of

Mesir

Tetiers

GD

21 213 12

the

you

4.

From Jetters in Che GURT $1 the eight in making rach ward, 1hr letters A rae of etie

น

EG M

O E A

kami mazes us he used ten only. Eucli word" an ILAT POTLLAKÍTU the Inte letter in Ilie ventre Kare, and there must be un Triest ante nine-letter word in the No Burai: 1515 Korrigh naties. Na proper TODAY'S TARGET: 12 wurde. good: 18 words, neru words, exerllent. Tomorrow.

FATURDAY'S SOLUTION 1. Mehr mitol arch that sham ahar sheen shikim chart shat cbezt aber ehlimme amara

andy: alum snute either hale garth M Fine Hair family hare metom harm när bati mar theft haar halp hamnatis hermit MIZU, PAT Jh march metal milli-much rsteheath” ralho režAN, retch when QHEUMATIO Fish taken thale thorala tvari semile thelaw from

Mrs Cook hud dropped her queen of spades to get out of the way of his king-jack-nine | He also realised that he had to well for her to get in to lead spades to him.

West led a club. Mrs Cook took her king of clubs and re- turned the spade to complele the nullifention of South's nice barrier play.

♥+CARD Sense♣☀

Q-The bidding has been: East South West North

?

Your side has a 60 part scors and you, South, hold: AKJ987 WAQST OJE MAL

What do you do?

A-Bld one spade. With "the GO part score the overall is much better than the double.

TODAY'S QUESTION

West bids two diamonds and North and East pass. What do you, South, do now?

Answer Tomorrow

YOUR BIRTHDAY ....By STELLA

MONDAY, OCTOBER 28

PORN today, you will not lead a D routine or ordinary life. The stars indicate a rather special and exciting time for you. You are an innovator and your new ideas How speedily. You never like to follow Along well-travelled roads, but pre- fer to pick and choose your own path. You are an idealist, but you are old an

and selive individual like to Dut your plans into in mediate elion. Not Just a dreamer. yo nd happiness only when your visions become a practical reality.

You ate ne publicist and can promete a new idea successfully, You would do well professionally in promotion, advertising or any of the related fleldi. -Being a public relations epiuse) might it in with your plans. Actually, however, you are more interested in putting over your own ideas rather than selllag those of noneone else! Any came is fortunate to having you as 10. protaguniet.

enough, for

Strongly who so no clever at gauging the public but you are more gullible

Since than would be anticipated. you are sincere, frank and honest. you believe that all the world i the same If you are not a lite more cautious, you will have rude awakening some day.

D

Generous, socially adaptable. affectionate and magnistig, you will have hosts of friends. You women will are natural homemakers and

choice of a

have a number of admirers from which to make you should find

happiness in

marriage partner.

Bucers and

choice.

your

date

"What's the matler?" he said: The three friends smiled. "We just came to ask you Mr Punch," said something,

Knart.

Ho Was Awake By this time, Mr Punch was fully awake. He said good-na- turedly: "I'll be glad to answer any question you ask me."

"Mr Punch," said Knarf, " you ever invent anything?"

Mr

Punch WAR Boozing his chair. contentedly in

tairs. That made everything all right."

"What else did you invent?" asked Knarr.

He Invented Hats

"Let me see now," said Mr I - Punch. "I invented hats.

I invented "What Knart means to say," vented umbrellas. said Teddy to Mr Punch "walking, jumping and running." are you an inventor."

"Mr Punch!" Mr Punch"

*I la—I mean I am," said shouted Teddy and Kaart and

Mr Punch.

"What did you Invent?" asked Hiawatha.

Hiawathan.

They wanted to tell him that he couldn't have invented all

the

"Lots of things," said Mr Thore things. Ever since

world begun, people knew how Punch.

to walk, jump and run, "Such as what kind of lots of

But Mr Punch went right on. things? asked Teddy.

"And I invented roads and tences and chimneys. I invented tea, coffee, milk. I invented And then i songs and jokes.

thing that invented the best

whole werli unybody in the eyer invented."

"Such Punch.

23

shoes," said Mir

The three friends looked at Mr Funch in astonishment, Then they burst out laughing.

Mr Punch frowned "What's he suld. "Don't the matter?** you believe me?"

"People ulways had shoes," said Knarf.

Mony Years Ago

Kharl and Teddy and Bia- watha were struck silent for a moment.

Then Hiawatha said; "What is this thing you invented that ix the best Invention " the world?"

"I beg your pardon," said Mr

"People Punch.

used lo

"I invented sleep," said Mr go shoes. That Punch. around without

was hundreds of years ago. Then I came along and invented them. Now they wear shoes. And I invented another thing, 100.

"What other thing?" nsked

dy

"Are you sure you know what you're talking about?" said Knari.

But Mr Puteh didn't answer. lie couldn't. Kis eyes were shat. He was breathing deeply. He was trying out his best in-

"I invented stairs," said Mr vention. Punch.

Mr. Punch was fast asleep?

Knarf and Teddy and in- watha tiptoed softly out of the rom, for that was the end of their talk with one of the great- est inventors that ever lived........ shoes, the man who invented

Among those born on this

The three friends were more were: James Cook, explorer; Italph

astonished than ever, and Anne E. Delahaye Paine

Egede Dickenson, authors; Hans

Elphant Remington.

"Before I invented stairs," enfesionary:

sald Mr Punch, "folks had a inventor Aud manufacturer rifles; DealJerfus Erannus, scholar

hard Job getting from one floor and fame Blythe, educator.

to another. They had to use stairs, hats, umbrellas, walking,

climb up ropes. jumping, running, ladders, or Then enme along and invented inllk, songs, jokes and sleep.

To find what the alars have in more for you tomorrow, select your the car birthday star and read responding paragrapii. Let your birthday star be your daily guide.

- TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov, 22) These days may test your patience, but everything should work out if you are astute.

BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec, 22)- A time for taking care of delatin and sizing up your pattern of oon- durt. Make corrections, it necessary.

in-

CAPRICORN (Dec. 13-Jan. 20)- Devote-time and thought to portaut personal affairs.

the day to straighten out all details.

HEE

AQUARIUS (Jan, 21-Feb. 19)— Taci la of the utmost importance in handling your aftale now. polkie and you will schlove results.

PISCES (rob. 10-MAT Guard your health. Perhaps a mara rest is neccmary for your welfare. Be conservative; guard your reputailun.

Uto

TAURUS

21)- (APT. 21-May Set your nights on achieving a major" objective on the last day of the month, Dend every effort to ward that end.

OEMINI (May 12-June 23)- Sleet on your laurels today and to- morrow. Enough has been happen- ing lately. Take a little time out

pw to relax,

CANCER (June 23-Jaky #J

Put your to in order and tie up all icom ends so that you may pro- grew further in the future.

ZZO (July

24-A5

~II

Organise your working schedule so that you were no simu in achieving some major objective.

Rupert and Rusty-12

tea, coffee.

Rusty'a stanny is too fond of opens slowly, and Rusty's smiling him to be annoyed for long at his face appears. "I say," he whis

Do pers mising his rea. Soon Rupert is Toth

Why, yes. Let's Pretend like playing earing his supper and the boy is. having his tea and supper together Rupert whispers back, "But surely and then they are packed off so, pot st this tiam of night when I'm

'Get up a' minuia," bed. Before he can get to sleep in bed." there is a slight note, the door marmurs Rusty.

ALK #SQUTE 'REESAVED

24-Bept. | 233- VIRGO · {ARE.

avents of the Flaview the which is just about 10 clow and chart your future, schedule care TULLORA M-Apr.

(Sept. M-Oct. Pacinorahin ntfairs new favoured, There are dubious irende today, a Two usually, can decompilah, a treat you, beed to be especially charious deal more than onel. Use this day; in obating your courée. Je p

ARIES

you

I am repakting your desk a Casteful emerald green, and fl looks terrific. You also badly nec a new ruz. Would your Chrisimas for your like one present? No, I was afraid not. Daddy hog zoomed off to enter- Scotland on some mad

prise. He rent his love.

Where are you in form?

If

you could get one place higher This term, we'd be thrilled. Pots of love from us all,

★ ★ Darling Man

M

☆

Now that you are 11, 1 think

it is time for you to give serious consideration to the problem of the emancipation of Women,

Happily. 11 this country, great strides have been taken in the past 25 years towards sexen. true equality of the Political equality

fully achieved. Economic equallly is only partly achieved, and we must light on mtl the rate for the job is universal.

But the hardest struggle isi still ahead, in

the

there

for

raclul

DIAMOND

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Tel:22143

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Autumn

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}