Cummings
THE - CHINA MAIL. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1956.
'I'M THE MASTER NOW!"
THE TORY PARTY
THE
VOTER
Tuc
THE LABOUR
PARTY
WHO MAKES THESE GOLDWYNISMS?
It certainly
isn't Sam, says Mrs G.
The night
ever find a man with a corn on the sole of his loft foot arti wearing an M.C.C. tie
I once bought in Rome ... then justice will rapidly be done.
It is fashionable to be bangleti at this there of the you-l have
bom.
my
When a home f bollday the slightly opened window made na pause on the doorstep. The crudied flower in the window-box told the story,
It is odd that everyone els burglar Scene w be jos tal. blue-chinned man with a tool. ball Jersey, a mask, mi a bulls- eye inntero.net your own is o viekus scoundrel.
By ROBERT GLENTON
the burglars
it was the sticky triekle from tay upturned liqua bolle.
Open wardrobe údois tevenlei it forlorn emplates. AL avalanche of ink and dishevelled survepundener fumbled from a writing desk.
Don' Torch
} anything." commanded. I know my Micky Spilane well as the nex!
man
"Don't touch.” cousin's husband.
echord Tuy
My coumn scared hungrily the few druwcas slali kemi. The frantic battle inside herself was almost tangible,
Malevolence brooded in vvery recked гость Sinister a14) sordid were the
A cigarette raids grand into the carpets. Revoll
"Harle
picture had been taken wall. Now every down funt
child
bus
who ever read a comic knxnwa strip
that glam is
broke in
house that has been bung of centres in a box of choco-
t
poodle, Now it has the auennie, wispy appearance of silnen any head you can find under a city- Duuni bowler hat.
uy koking at the doormat, Qura was a fine affair with Ught, stir The detectives arrived. curls like
prize-winning by burly Sergeant Banks
Lite through went
They ignored routine. deductions, The crushed flowers them. The not interest
window
got not
Intes,
Led
they doormat my
air"
Into
The police arrived with smiles, hent's constacranGER,
a comforting cricked-crib-side manner and proceeded to wipe their feel. They did more than thaithey did a Hawaian war My theory cance on the mat.
Commissioner is that the
of Pulkee buy ben rebuket once
too often for taking his garden- ing boots into his home and hus
A fruitful pussed on the message to every ground for police station,
lin gerprints.
Unhappily
the cat was sitting on ik We swort The out took
nd
up
on the dis hevelled ruin
sacked bed.
Imag
Wilh the police were two cndels. I felt the mingled
indignation and pride What must
the hospital NUFICH surrounded by students,
Com
Sergeant Banks wohl another room, leoned at a grimy handprint on the wall, ggled
window uncl with
sala. That's how they got in."
He inspected the tide-mark round the bathroom handbasin,
clock Chrringe
perched uncomfortably on the bathroom
the
Kealey.
Delicately he handled the two used dishes and tablespoons restling in a crumpled bed.
"Prolly experienced," he decided. While powder Was everything, They dusted found somo unusual whorl.... they were mine.
ותי
"But
There was an amiabie police Do you wort Uris cake, they too, but
but he stayed outside. madam?” asked one of his Perhaps he could not be trusted B. to wipe his feet. He sal
Cataly hypnotising the cut and #ving it blood pressure.
"Don't touch," suld the police- "Delectives will soon be
The police neriyod. After watch
tera" them I
My cousin's hand halted half an? prepared way to a kettle, "One more to gamble damned finger-print isn't going thkat I DELI) to matier," she snarled. Identify any
-WHAT YOU SHOULD DO-
by Scotland Yard
1. Don't charge in like the Giontons did. anything auspicious while you aro adi
099 home tiptoe away and disi
If you notion
outside your
1
2. Walt for she police. It is considered ory reah to i arrest your own robbers
Lot's
3. Disturb nothing, Losva
hand that
•
Now, I've somothing important to tell you. Listen slowly.
the chaos to the
cope.
4. When the palice have boen, make out milet at stolen property 43 quickly Ow possible BO that It Can circulated to the dawnbrokers.
We tried to shut our eary to the anger when she discovered operad tins of pineapple and cream, We mailed abysmally Ignore
thu winth When The fuirigerator was exposed as ilquid, defrosted me.
U
Let by the police we departed apidly from the kitchen.
a
It was then that I found the
Clear footprint.
gainst polished floor I was all alone, complete with rom murk, five
cet away from the carpet,
had a sharp picture of this underworld Man Friday.
ite WIN NORIJE six inches wide (o
win opened got through the
Back un abnormal How},
and he had a sweel ile had eaten all the
attle. VESAİL
sald my cousin. if you are hungry I can find something better,"
"Modam,' answered the delcctive- little wearily I thought " Just want to check the wrapping for prints"
was time for a drink. Miserly we shared, out an indi a glociful of of whisky and sherry. .[ was all that the thieves had loft. We weren't
satisfied.
Now the hunt is on. While my family sit around looking at empty spaces und wonder- ing what on enth was onco there. Defective Sergeant Banks und I share u small contention. Broad-shouldered, athletic and. confident, he believes in the rushibeas michinery of modera detection.
I feel he should just look fo 1 aan in my falian tie and with a left foot that aches when It is going to ruin.
Heavens above! He should be
casy to find this summer.
(COPYRIGHT)
S
AM
• Anyone who bothers with a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined,
• Director always bite the lays the goldon egg.
1
the
1
Franere cover and
}ཨ18 "Than they Goldwyn have been test desk
Hells op ini amezit mail izm inseparable all
list thing he'll ask for any hus of
their spectuoley, “* the long yours
Joud rups out the door, married life that they have
Thy mona "Padener, pielzensoo," Dever wrilleta a letter to
crits Mrs Goldwyn and, taking her time, opens the door one another. been mcc^26MAL"}",
Yo te [ thing start
GALAWAN
Goldwyn kaks
It has never
in wag bounds My Goldwyn has crossed the to m, shaken my The thesmenn talag
withering gap, bera Sam hari kia MIN Lang
when Mr Sum
abou talking
bus mariage is description of
it is apt be wirvengaisobie,
"Its newer
of y+r
right
mon xam,
fur
gets the
we've be
number
married
start. AL the he is riaiming over 32 I's 31."
Frances says
Coldwyn.
NO QUARRELS
***The hu Milya we Never We have quarrel. But we do. arguments all o married life abou. two things. My tardiness, And my hair.“
ANNE
SHARPLEY
reunited with his spectacles ("On the desk, dzer"; and is making for the other door.
“Don't cruise that door, duur. it locks and you won't be auk
to get out,"
• I'm sick and tired of old cliches. have some new cliches.
AT
Jk
Mi
the wea pal of
can make it vtfeet on fer man, al course,
it
LL
CST
Qkes anel .NE I th ture, had just made a film enik- ed "The Swan
The fist works he said to And the cowling thing, ent, ' dun't ke you. You
LIN, uboul Hollywood with were two miately. He was right,
of young beauty La of course. But then he always that beauty tends to have
Hert That's bow I've learneri t
all the indigous male He's alway with hunn. pul put up
In leg right it ought dar ned right in the rapid
it's
whebben through to the end that matter
My Goldwyn nugments be staying power with daily eXVI
careful
13
CINES
care Jast
"No bentitilo) woman can stop raffle. Hollywood The vuluo a thing is measured by its rary," said Mrs Goldwyn indi- eting that to be beautiful in Hollywood is even a bit of a bore
Fist clier suitably phito- exercises sound topical. They are stretching and breathing
exercises, nolung:
11. I believe SUPCHIGAN exercises to be wrong. You should end your daily dozen in a sale of complege relaxation. not breathlessness,"
FEELING FIT
Met measurements? (They
Wading unhoedert, the door is are girlish ) "It is part of my slammed -- KTVÍ Mr Goldwyn is beller about locked in.
Mrs Goldwyn star-ups
Laughs
Mr Goldwyn is always on time exact to the minute Mru Goldwyn is just us cxuct-brat always
minutes. three "Simehow
seem
to
I can't reduce that three minutes."
And the hair?
10
tume,
arch "It's like that all the
css that one should neither know nor Care ubou, oni's ineasurements. Tu feel fɩ is what matters,"
White almost every other decision made by her dynamic husband haus 10 be discussudă her first, the one chore
For a man of 74. Mr Goldwyn has just given a splendid inter- pretatiom of a menage rugger with chumpin and 1 stal to she has never shared-13
what Mrs Goldwyn is up against
la
But he went into F with her ats wide
"I never tidy enough for him." Mrs Goldwyn's huir soft, fair, and naturally curly.
women Pretty hair that most would envy. Mr Goldwyn has
himself from presved possible comeback on the sub- of hair by being completely
ран
"He will never learn that if we drive to dinner with all the
car windows of the
down
I
am bound to arrive with my hair untidy. Sam, put up that window,' I say. Then he cheats
it down a litle bit because be Joves fresh air.
HIS HATES
"I have always tried-and think succeeded
bitin stepping his ruthless remarks
"hoosing the Goldwyn Giri»,
meddle in practically
Sh Was # everything else, but no wornan
NOT THAT CLEVER
botathing she claims is still b mystery "Those Goldwynisms,' as she pulls them. They are the hall shrewd hall whacky Lemarks attributed to her hus-
***
Chat
band
itre better known Bank than the titles of the films he Illin hade.
"include me out, nover believe in colour teitvision unul i see it in blick and white,"
." "I'm having a bust made of my wite's hands."
He never said those things. It he ever makes a Goldwynisın you'll be the first to know, I promise you"
With a wino smile of the wife who knows her man she adds: "He's not that clever, i know him well"
(COPYRIGHT)
LENIN-STALIN 'PANTHEON' The Hostess.
SCHEME THAT
FLOPPED
By A STUDENT OF SOVIET AFFAIRS
(OMEWHERE in this country there will be today a disappointed archi- tect who had submitted to the Soviet authorities a design for a pantheon to hold the bodies of Lenin and Stalin in to his stars on their appearance. the expectation of a 50,000-rouble prize. Ho hales heavy make-up, Or maybe the British architect - one of Jewellery and hair that looks unbrushed. At one time he was eleven non-Soviet architects to take part wash your face, Take off those out of ideological and not mercenary mo- Hlable to my abruptly: Go and in the competition submitted his design earrings, or Why don't you tivos?. In that case he will be even more hairy to reigning disappointed, for an official announcement your beauties who would then burst in Moscow stated on Thursday that none
foury" Marriage to the keystone of of the competitors had produced fitting Hollywood may be exasperating "Ideological and artistic" designs,
Frances Goldwyn clearly adores it... "I'm &
brush
into
The story of the competition goes back: 'to' a port of underfoot wing July, 1054, when I was opened with the an
I have to be always there and Xt | nouncement,that designs, were invited for a I'm not ho will shout Frances patheon that would be a worthy rowling place until I appear. If I weren't them not only for Lenin and Stadio but also for other ho knows hur would lose his Soviet leaders. It was to have been built in Umu spectacion and never be able to Lenin Hills, on the outskirts of Moscow, THO And them agades,
design," it was sipulated, must envlenge the use of the nahiral conditions of the site. for establishing a; minorial parie with convenien approaches to the panthe
How eyes noam round the room und Clabs up sa tho, apota hi mpactaqbe just camping under
Then came the provision which probably proved the undoing of the competitors: they were to include In their design a hall 'whfch would house the surcophagi both of Lenin and of Stalin.
(They were to be en situated as “to make possible the convenient viewing of them during the organised passing-by of the working people."
And then, two years later, came Krushchev's denunciation of Stalin, which must have been bitterly resented by the 078 architects who had, in the meantime, submitted their dfcaigns.
Balore Krushchev's speech they haď - no reason to suspect that their enterprise might come to nothing. Indeed, in February last your It was announced that a jury comprising the most eminent reproemintives of Soviet art had „been formed to examine, “the designs, and in April a conference was held to give their slightly less eminent, colleagues an opportunity of dis- Curing the 180 designs selected by the Juny from
ninong the 873
875 atrice.
And now It has all coma to nothing, for although the Moscow, announcement guys that ten consolation prizon at 710,000 - roubles, mach have been awarded, it is clear that the project | will not be proceeded with, at least pot des sta, ‘prestal, foren,
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