1956-07-05 — Page 4

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THE. CHINA -MAIL, THURSDAY, JULY 5, 1956,

Bouncing back INDESTRUCTIBLE ROONEY

ROCKS THE CRITICS

THE

ROONEY RISKS 'MONEY IN A CRAP CAME

BRITISH, more medicine-conscious than any other people, stand accused as a nation of hypochondriacs

a nation of people who imagine more illnesses than they ever really

HE'S OUT FOR THE JACKPOT

MY MONEY ... PAL!

HE RAKES IN HIS DREAM

HYPOCHONDRIAC

have. Truc? And if it is, does it matter? We are this week inves- tigating this phenomenon, public and personal. PUBLICLY, we asked five ordinary people yesterday to give their medicine-buying habits. it asked Nancy Spain to reply to Derek Marks's anti-doctor article yesterday. First hear the rather reluctant five

PERSONALLY,

• Lieut. - Com- monder Arthur Brister, R.N.: I Bever ko to A doctor and don't Carry medicine about with me. But my wife takes a tot of aspirin.

THE LONG

• Mrs Francis Mons, housewife: I go to the doc- lur unty la AIL emergency.

1

think plits are deadly

things. We don't bud- get at

for medicines.

WORD EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS

• Mr John Sinnett, hotel proprietor: J

never so

веж

A

doctor. I carry some pills to re- lleve

my ulcer.

I don't buy any-

thing else.

• Mir Reginald Durrand, char. tered surveyor:

AN

I would go to a doctor only In emergency. My family take halibut olj the winter.

Ina

Mrs Marce Kilczycki, house- wife: 1 go to the doctor if I have

bad cold. Always carry headache tablets with me. I get a bottle of tonle if I feel low.

I'm proud of my record

AM a hypochondriae

and proud of it.

can

Ever since I remember have been

taking pills for this

and

powders for that, and littl

tablets for the other thing, as

by.........Nancy Spain

a

full

of

hypochondria,

when I became wedged-shapert face. When wo middle-aged. But I still eling, didn't want to do the polka wo as sovages cling to theie totem user to sit together, wheezing, poles, to a box of powders,

behin the arra,

over

But Then we grew up and the Andi Second War came along. Davki went into

Lank regiment, "How do you get on, David," I asked him, "with your asthma, and ali that foul air and thuso exhaust fumes

tho And tank?"

I have one on me as I write. and my doctor has told me that it has no effect on me whatso 4 ma elation ut mortern fe. with

Title bottle

"Rather less effect," he and great big soothing A hundred years ago most of ephedrine hydrochloride. I had rays, "thon the averago aspirin." powders earned in thing or two before 1 Yet I once forgot to pack these draughts of cough mixture my lovely pills and

tok my school leaving certifi- powders when I was on holiday tasting of tror.

Toit

ephedrine in the South of France. The before I went into class.

I felt as if I were dylang.

Every morning before can face the world 1 furtive, ly take my pills, powders,

weren't invented.

by se lys

In

iconthi only prve gene about quietly to

"Oh," said Davki, "It isn' toge eh and fallen in love but it mey harm" I'm "The sensibile, logical French the hypochondriacs who collapse

long

I cft.'t know.

stuck It don't

thest sean for afrudel

powders. in a war. We know how to and sewed #

made me go a ther blue in the "What's the gouty atul reluxation.

use of keeping keep going. because we know tablets and cough mixture.“

was always rather something in stock that doesn't where our weaknesses ile. It's Se Boss days I wouldn't fare, mud 1 Tus is partly became Ente

afterwards.

who've But I do do you the slightest good?" they the hig, strong chapa victim of hypos cross 11 from a long line of

red chomĒT, Jolly

1. member I used to take a pill said, as i reeled from chemist's never had a chy's illness in their Ihould have died facet hypochondriars 4271 MAY

unstent. In my teet18.

Hyes who keel over." What called alophew with the effect shop to chemist's shop. mother's sider. (Indeed. I cat

01 boredom, of course

of a hydrogen bomb at the same distinctly remember my grand-

Ime as the ephedrine, mother as A dear, ww.sed-face i old lady carrying a big

of castor oil and a

But it also reau

The

glorious strain and the exhilaras

• The asthing.

powder

*

sever

4th

The posteder

bugzie(?).

The pilt to clear aut of my system. The latter is for the headache i get from the effect of the pill, and the eigh mistre for the sore throat get from the tables.

Put the

f

MY

neh..

WEIGHT

Why? To clear the ephædrine rut of my system.

1 was

the

MY WORD

wasn't Pale-faced, THEY offered my other seda Oh, tives, antiblodles, antihysta WHEN I was a tol, you sce, I round-shouldered wheezer,

I What thinna

shocked. a great big, broad- mines.

Wite

**I None of your no.

couldn't possibly take those," I No, uldered young woman with whewing ser I hai the real i ld retirers the red fare who weighed 11 stone sald. Those are drugs."

played cricket for

After have taken 1231 my school and full winery that made•

school.

remedies, I like to settle bashers any mat in plous horror ch

once played Incrosse down to a nice cosy chat with a me the darling of the

(allegedly the fastest gune in fellow hypochondrine, mation.

the world

bur polo) against The best I have ever known Why, i can distinctly remem-

Lancashire when I was having is a man I will call David. her sitting a scholarship exam.

the

Isthmatic went to dancing classes in worl thor Roedeon at de age of 12 cer

atteks of my lite.

Well. I know cut asthniù anti Some

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тому отиту по

this. agree with any of

You may think that I am trying to But every word

pull your legs.

honest truth.

am

10

QUESTIONS THAT WILL TELL YOU IF YOU TOO ARE ONE

Answer Yes or No to the following:-

1. D you feel insulted

Borneone says how well you are?

2. Do you think your doctor a fool if he Rays there is nothing wrong with you?..

3. Do you know the meanings of more than two of the following terms: metabolism, psychosomatic, enzyme, vita- inin deficiency. cardiac murmur, urticarla? 4. Have you at this moment in

Pocket

or handber plits

Ray

not ordered by your doctor?

5. Do

take you

A clinical thermometer on holiday?

HE IS KILLED IN ACTION LOOKING FOR THE MONEY

Ava's label

Mickey Rooney Gestructible.

is a young in-

During the past Bix years has made more news with his wives (married four thus:

is dropped o at last

PICTURE COMMENTARY

BY DAVID LEWIN

wile No. 1 being Av Gardner) and his squabbles with producers then with his acting.

Now

The Bold and the

Brave"

shows un adult Andy Hardy gulng ta was. Rooney

plays a soldier winning a fortung His dream-tho mort W

WHEN Mickey Rooney at dies,

beautiful restaurant in Jersey bounced back with a ls in his grasp. But he 13 performance of "startling forced to leave the marey on a vitality" fu Ik new film, battlefield. As he goes out under called "The Bold and the es to collect it, an enemy bullet Brave," the critics hauled kills him.

Rooney has shrugged off a out adjectives of praise recent trell of near misses, and they hadn't used on him in a variety of jokes based on one

years.

The

crack by Ava Gardner.

Miss Gardner cuce suld about Alm 1000

goes out general release, It will show her former husband: "One day be known as tho thet at the age of 33 and with a 'll merely waistine which has spread con- man who married me," siderably since he played in Mickey Rooney has now final- those Andy Hardy pictures, ly lived that duwn.

HOW THEY DO

THINGS AT

MOSCOW RADIO

From SYDNEY SMITH

Мовсом He made up his own speech THERE is trouble in on the great scale of building work in Moscow, and then to Moscow Radio, Radio

a night watchman of reporters have been Moscow's Broadcasting House to part of a team leader their act the

out "n dircourse on advantages of large panel constructions and plan

Unfortunately, the

6. If you go abroad on hoilday discovered faking

do you take your own pet remedies?

7. Do you

ever

suffer from BTU

of

stories and script-writers and read

the being accused ambidiclaudicosis disease "putting out 11 flood of ment." which chiefly affects highly trite, hackneyed stereotyped intelligent and conscientious

and

full-

night

like a dismal watchman's family recognised

people and which has these phrases

him and wanted to know very symptoms: lassitude, loss of autumn drizzle."

sharply why he had concealed This attack, factual, detalled the fact that he was a building appetite, insomnia, general body aches, heada

headache,

reathing, and

although expert-and even more im "humenised" and quite witty portant what had been happen as well, came from Izvestia, Ing to his wages. And that which, with Pravda, is one of was the undoing of Comrade Russia's

national Pavlov biggest morning papers,

lack of concentration?

4 4,°

8. When you dip into a medical dictionary do you fancy you have everything in it? 9. Do you ever lake. your own pulse because you suddenly think your

going too heart is fast or too slow?

do?

COMRADE PAVLOV

• SCORE: If you answer YES of building workvior did not

Izvestia Koes on: "Other broadcasts concocted almost according to the same rimple

And

begins by telling the story recipe are often heard on the of this confession is the sober, 10. If you wife or husbandda

radio

reporter Comrade regional air," off colour do you ret irrit

The Pavlov.

comrade was

then It gives this ex- able, thinking she is putting assigned to go out to a big pianation: There are 12 corres it on and cannot possibly be

Moscow

construction site and pondents working in the depart- feeling nearly as il as you organise a broadcast by a team ment

Seven of them are sup- posed to be permanently in the But Comrade

country. "In

reality, only three of move out of his offler, Instead, Izvestia

felt no them are out travelling. The reports, he

others rofite anxiety to go to the building oth

lcovq ther site at all. "Whether it was capital.

that FOOTNOTE to Question 7: There, we cannot tell." So what health. So they invent Agricul

sheer disinclination or fear of rural air is too bad for their

tural stories in

the city and broadcast with night watchmen as tensultants.

Moreover, I am 38 years old and completely sound in wind and limb. I am one of the few really good Insurance risks that I know. I

one of the people I strongest, healthiest have ever met,

And here's the moral. We

Only the very strong indbed our

can take the sort of modjelnes that we hypochondriacs tako

and survive.

babyhood. David and I, when Inv David was a delicate, pear- my shaped little boy with a

white

seven times or more you should stop bothering your doctor-you are a true hypochondriac.

Is NO sveti disease A **ambi-

diclaudicoslu,”

did the Comrade do!

WANTED: A FRONT-PAGE

W

ENVOY FOR BRITAIN

New York

E nre soon to have

a new British Am- bassador to the

DON IDDON'S DIARY

F

They

to fcel

the

On exemple quoted of fake agric turni

ral reporting was when a radio reporter gave collectivo farm Production ghres: "This year, according to

plan, the

farm has already produced 6,200 pints of milk and $8,400 pounds of meat from gach cow."

SO

thi

Says Izvestin,

why? "ha kills, two birds with one blow.

The cows aro first milk- ed and then butchered, or per

IN A HAZE

Another fille report that irks vestit was a broadcast: story

of a collective farm which was said to have produced 300 tons of cabbage from over 2 acres. "The broadcast of this sort of nonsense is unforgivable," says the paper.

pronounces on

ino

The Important John S. Knight Tribune. Mr Dondvan was hops first butchered and then newspaperS, which are fervent supplied with State papers and milked. For both meat and

of supporters

Cabinet Mr Elsenhower, confdential

meeting milk must be procured." are now condemning the Re- minutes, Go there is no ques- publican theme that the Presi- ton of its accuracy. U.S. This is one of the

dent is as fit and strong as ever. James Hagerty, the Presi world's most important

dent's Press Secretary, has re- The present Ambassador, Sir spoke before the television Other newspapers are now, fused to say. who made the jobs, particularly at this Roger Making, is tipped to be cameras.

showing objectivity in their re- White House papers available the next Permanent Secretary timo.

Strangers would stop Sir porting and comment. It will to, Donovan, But someone did of State for Foreign Affairs and Gladwyn Jebb in the street and be a great shock however, and obviously with Mr Eisen-

ask to shake his hand.

the President decides not to hower's permission. During the period I have he will probably do well.

Although Sir Gladwyn is not run. The Republicans

will be been here there have been Sir Roger, who has an Ameri- an inspired speechmaker, when left without a candidate. Sir Ronald Lindsay, Lord can wife, is popular in Wash- he spoke ho captured news- Lothian, Lord Halifax, Lord ngon, but largely unknown to paper space and radio time, Inverchapel, Sir Oliver

Exasperated Franks, and Sir Roger In recent years our envoys Makins occupying the big, been

Sir Pierson. personalities who have HIS successor,

Dixon, has not red-brick British Embassy ocoupled much American atten- fortunate, and there has been In Washington. Of theso tion. At a time when Great men, Lord Halifax was the Britain is not getting a parti- no electric issue such as Korea cularly good press an outstand- over which he could have most outstanding.

ing personality and killed shown his talent. propagandist would be invalu-

the American public.

and resident officials have not

+

been

09

There are, naturally, among the who oppose his running for__n.

of style. It

It quotes

다.

Under fire. President's family several THE Marilyn Monroe-Arthur q

question Miller marriage at last, Miss recond term in office. Mrs Monroe has been so rude to the trom broadcasts the use of such Elsenhower does not want her Press, keeping reporters, photo-words and phrases as "Inter- husband to run again,

and but graphers, newsreel

"deformational tela-torrometere realises that only he can malce vialon men waiting two hour

nodosity seams"

of the decision.

on one occasion, an hour and a "setting: rove into the

And it comments: - quarter 'on' another, that sho; is | theCH There has been one Interest about na popular Just now in special technical training, the ing revelation thio

week. now rooms as Grace Kelly was listener wanders in hazo, in the at the time of her wedding,

Broadcasts

ATO

steeped able. Perhaps, we can't hope Send us a man of brilliance President Elonhower,

first half of his term before his Victor Mature, back here after cliches and stock phrases, anxi to get another Halifax, but have A man who can engage the at the refusal of dio-hard, Re asked Which place

and personality 10. Washington. Heart attacks, was so exasperated a long European tour, was the meagreness and feebleness we considered Sir Gladwyn.

did you of style amazing.” Jobb on the next British Am- attention and affection of

replied: bacic this pro- profor?" Mr Mature to bassador to Washington?

American people. Send us Sir Publicans to

Izvozlia's conclusion. It he, considered "London, I love those' people,” Gladwyn.

starting, a third party to ad- The two biggest, flim success that thero is a very good Bir Gladwyn was not mer~ "In the past few days moro vance his progressive moder- on Broadway today are English children's broadenst called on the front page. When he lyn BUCCHED

as the United, and more, newspapers, including ato" policies.

worrien, Deborah Kerr and Dana "Quers 15." Alas, there is no made a blunder, such as riding Kingdont representative to the the New York Times, have..

Wynter, despite the competition much broadcast for adultal 1.bo bounicir on a Sunday, di United Nations, ho WDA a' printed. both, aldos of

This news was bored in a of Gina Lollobrigida, paper "But, never mind, says Izvortia created a controversy. We have triumph. His face and voice medical opinion of iliotis, the new book, "Elsenhower; The "They are better ambasadors consolingly, "Ito place is wall had no one like him over the became "damiliar, to tena of illndesi which nocessitated the Inside Story," by Robert Dono... · than some of the officials we filed by some of the breadcaste port: 15 years, 1992)

millions of Americans (as he President's abdominal operation, yon, of the New York Herald- trave had in Washington, of the Moscow, regional radio.";

Controversy

[ALIFAX", was known

HALIFAX American. When

hơ múdo a speech it was usually

tho

gramme

that

The

comes

recalis

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