1956-07-04 — Page 4

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on a

THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, JULY 4, 1956.

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

LBERT. the robot columnist, was sitting opposite me doodling sheet of paper when I read aloud the observa- tions of Mr James day, of Hymatic Engineering, Ltd., on the Hocial asper's automation,

tral Albert, L "Mr Jay." "thinks that ronts to 1.1 will mean lonelie girls working in them “

1!1

"No girl's going to be innrly where I am." sald Albert

"Mr Jay aya the l will have nobody to tulk him stars and buy fritaba

"Hus this Me day ever heard

De led ABG boul me? **

Ital I aid. "I don't know he might be interested in your views. Would you chat to the girls about their boy french "After a chat with ne wouldn't want any hoy heart, said Alberi,

13

"lich, heh, heh, heh, heh." "And stop that nasty laugh." "Bel, heb, heh, heh, heh."

Heroic day- dreamer

NEWSPAPER, commenting Aca 70-year-old Judie Walton Clark's attempt

sall

the

and making the defence counsel jook a complete fool. Even the judge is trying not to laugh as he threatens to clear the court.

Afier pronouncing sentence the Judge anys:

"I am going to make a rather úsparture from the mural netinal proceeding and bak the Athentie Ilone, nctyises its court to give three hearty cheers RET

** the Waller for Mr Gubbins, who is not Mitts in

you get Walter only a model witners but by his Thurber's courage und not inconsider- Mify the Junts

skill has brought Who always able boxing

criminal Lo heroje in

dangerous

situation

himself

14g before the appearance of Mr Mitty, my tovnurite herole 7.unlon, pact from bowling Benthe Australian Tea team - for a dusk, has always been the upler ver us Cubbing co- her in the middle of the night with the ensing court scene,

There is a totse in The house rise from my bed, switch on The belt are put on my dra ING BOWL.

i go A i turn the

I

while bravely as rown the stairs corner at the bottom i and the bae glor In the hull and say. Ang "W

411 41, what van I th

"Some factorie employ touze than 1,000 g **

"I could chat to thy {raf hold their little hanta

don't think many would care to have their hats crashed in cold sit ek » Town M

"I would

whe

le cars B

little

pocras

There's nothing

much us fallery

*། elena' thik

++!<

12 21

K

Guvnor,

Te does

#

is calm, cynical, M: repeking I am in complete coun Band of the valuation

Bol the burglør is But the odes de ligoned

who type

it's

Fari

vok

pays rair

even

make up nien

about

12134 21

would be done in your betony What would you chat about

**Are

you going to p

this?"

Knowing you, pri cubily zast "Shell I whipet it "If you must

"Liten,

***Aller!

you."

I'm

I

יי ןי

I

wam of them do funny

J who ru bewit ana

with a cosh

Deliv ep aside and land a rushing right-hand punch 1. pw, knocking him cold.

Some time later I am in the

w.these 10x

The burglar, with how Jiwan Tadiclogy, is in the

领到

I have

+Vi-

aven belirt dener, consing rates of laughter

it

Justice

(The court cheers wildly.) "And," "ys the judge, "I I may make an even more un- usual departure from normal prox erding. I hope Mr Gubbins will be able to spare some of his valuable time to dine with and de.

chambers ma trate but terrible right- fital panel of his but not on

T13ན་

(Lout laughter and cheers.) Double

life

READER

who

covered my private addres writes as follow

Disor Sir,

#

In your column last week you line that you sleep in the aftern on, Don't you think this habit is unhealthy

wicked. wire of time?

Dear Sir the answer is no. As me wan has always dozed in the afternoon, even in news- Alters, 1 can tell you

that if you are unconscious, say, between 3 pm, and 6 p.m. you are more likely to enjoy a long and happy life than if you are about wirle awake worrying 20nething

☆

HYPOCHONDRIAC

"THE LONG WORD

EVERYBODY

UNDERSTANDS

WHAT is the greatest complaint that doctors and chemists deal with? That of the hypochondriac: the man or woman who is not really suffering from anything, but who is always imagining that he or she-is suffering from EVERYTHING. It is the hypochondriac who, for instance, swells the consumption of the sleeping- pill drug barbiturate to 44 TONS a year in Britain alone...and the Health Service bill to £54 million a year. This week on this page, contributors will attack-and defend-this vice from their own personal standpoints ....

I AM one

Q

by Cummings

*

Atwurs keep a standby or two,

IN

媳

Bitti corner of my

drak."

*Nathing specifically wrong--but I'll take my Lemperature. Just to be on the sale side."

* One cuiri de ion careful about sunstroke-specially

131 June

ROLEX

For in this way you lead two There is Byrs in fead of me

21 morning life ending with

evening and

the

life if

Thus, esting with supper. you comt time by your hours of enjoyment and not by the clock

you are living twice as long as other people

In face, you can irent your hch like a upper at the end of the day's work, a meal to be enjoycek ઘા Leisure with

no

thought for the morrow-that is revr steund tomorrow beginning art 6 p.m.

1.-because you are go- ingle bed after lunch, waking up in time to hear the 8 o'clock 112 We

While consideratg this matter ark yourself what you miss and what you don't miss by leeping in the afternoon.

Fiw of v Je our best work during this period, so you are mi sing nothing from that point of view

But if you are asleep at home you miss the B.B.C.'s duller

You men

"Never be without plaster

those little scratches can

haila

up to anything."

- No positive symptoms of anythẳng, đector

but simply a vaguo feeling of mataiso."

I am NOT

H

OW often do you see a cardiograph (we all know your doctor? I see what that is now). Thought- mine as little as pos- fully he taps his knce with sible I don't really his stethoscope. The clean- clear-eyed young believe in seeing him at all. limbed.

Of course, he is a nice executive-type patient leans That is not forward: "Toll me the worst, enough fellow. the point. Going to a doc- doctor, I can take it." tor is rather like taking a car into most garages--you start off with a rattle from the back number plate and new necding up end

car.

Broadcasts and the women who hammer on the front door ask- ing you to buy a flag in ald of

omething or other.

should also consider the

1 who never slept in the afternoon and what happened to them

Mussolini -Hiler, Napoleon, and probably Stalin. Insicad of snoring these dull hours away and minding their own businers they spent them plotting mischief and contriving their own doom.

In my view, the only people who ought to be wide awake in the afternoon FLIC cricketers. Then from my bed I can rouse myself, turn on the radio and itten half asleep to the Test Malch commentaries.

(World Copyright)

a

On the films the answer is usually: "You have got five months to live." In British advertisements it is some- thing like: "Get your wile to give you Snibbo Malted Milk at bed-time."

If I have got a septle a septic finger, I've got

If 1 have gut five months to finger. I don't want to

live would rather just go an know that my liver is grow as I am, in happy ignorance of ing dangerously large, that I am overweight. that I am working too hard, eating ton much. What's more, I don't care if I am.

You will remember those doctor-patiant meetings the The cinema specialises in. white-coated doctor peers at

doctor! * Nothing Wran But I checked with Gray's Anatomy And I've every symptom of appendicitis.

by Derek

MARKS

IGNORANCE 18 Blja?

Cummings

Sorry to leave this anfinished bul

one

I've just noticed sonte black very peculiar spots in front of my cyex

Marks

a few weeks ago. As he was years back that a drug called going about his dally business cortisone wis being pumped his heart just ceased to work. into people to cure them of a It was a clean, neat, clinical whole host of ailments. cut-denied by modern medi- clnc.

But the vast majority of hu- man ills are not fatal they are merely inconvenient. So lang es you keep going everything is ail right it is only when you decide to give up that all the checks and counter-balances de vised by nature seem to cease to work.

Ah, you say, but you cannot Some- always keep going. times you have got to call la & doctor.

Well, one thing fascinates time" we call it. But it is not as it fascinates

the fact after all, I might well really living at all. be run over by a bus tomorrow And I will not drink morning. anybody's multed milk at any prico.

Suppose, for a moment, some- thing is really seriously wrong drastic action your doctor may be able with your body. By to prolong your life a few extra years "llying on borrowed

num-

it

ber of doctors-low so many people reach breaking point on You exist surrounded by all Monday mornings (unless the loathsome paraphernalia of happens to be a Bank Holiday the sick room. Hands which Monday). If you don't believe

ministered to love now that, make a check yourself. minister to a monstrous duty,

once

The touch that delighted now revolts. It is "life in death."

How much happier the fate of the friend who was struck down

In any case a great deal of modern medicine appears to

African

witch

Now I gather its basle use is to make pigs grow faster than they should, and it is not much use for anything else.

"Going to the. doctor" is really tho most prevalent disease of modern life. It subs the

will-power, undermines Everybody's Am constitution. bathroom ts becoming A branch office of the multiple chemists.

There is only one answer, to "Tell me the worst, doctor."

It is: "Keep moving.”

How to tell if YOU are a

HYPOCHONDRIAC

be about RS well. Informed. TEN QUESTIONS

A recali Lew TOMORROW

y central doctoring. I

The BIG BOYS in FILMS ARE GETTING OUT

A

SILENT revolu give up the strain of making so tion is taking place many plctures and work on his

in Hollywood which

own instead.

than

By DAVID LEWIN

Selling Off

big

Commonwealth and Germany Olivier is starring with Marilyn and Japan less than 50 of those Monroe and directing her too; 300 Hollywood films can show hence Sir Carol Reed and David That's why the old leaders R.KO-sold out by million- a proft in America alone, Lean are both directing pictures JACK WARNER, the plone are going: the load is too heavy alre Howard Hughes-has

Mr Arnold Picker, who is in for

companies but will have more

the head of sound and

of the gains are too alight.

loaded

740

films. Warner charge of "foreign operations" outside dramatic effects than the

Warner Brothers, has agreed to The truth behind the words Brothers is selling 850; Columbia for Ünited Artists, says: "With- All this adds up to arrival of sound or colour, cell out and will finally case off of Skouras is that in Hollywood is selling 104 (and Jerry Wall, out income from overseas the chance perhaps the last big his picture-making responal- today it is not the brokers who the man in chargo of making American industry would soon chance for British film moists. or Marilyn Monroe,

are in but the breakers. The new pictures of Columbla, wants face bankruptcy."

The breakers are not being The revolution is taking bilities.

JOE SCHENCK who, with his breakens are in for the money to give up his

2011 Job):

That is why Mr Semenenico invited into the British film place not in the big studios, brother Niel Schenck, once they can get, not from making Century-Fox has sold 52 nims, and the others are selling off as yards, British flm man believe but in the boardrooms where controlled more

half new pictures, but from selling will sell more.

fact as they are solo those old that with good original stories the real patterns of power interests in American

Hollywood, has sold out his old pictures to television.

It is the newcomers in Holly reels of flims to TV - THEY of mass appeal they can still cinemas, At this moment a secret battle wood the bankers and the NEED THE MONEY.

make money. are being weaved.

recouped the money he put in is going on among the top level breakers who entificer tho The Hollywood revolution will Consider the signs

"Oklahoma!" (the biggest executives DARRYL ZANUCK, the man screen musical yet made) and wood's largest company, Holly- big money deals; men like Serge lead to thie

Semonenico who has bought inlo On the board of M.GM, the Warners.

NO MORE mass production But in Britain today a picture who made Miss Monroe a star plans to retire,

bankers are urging that some 30

by the and was responsible for

big companies is elther a big horná flop, 700 films including "Gone With

-which is also why thọ Zanucks There is, no longer muy pince for the Wind," a screen classic.......

and the Harimans have gone. the "middling" him which does "Leave of absence." That Is The reasons for all these should be sold for showing on Mr Semenenko takes no

"all right" at the box office. place for the old second known. in Hollywood as the changes and the gradual fading TV. The price: $55,000,000.

screen eroiits. He is unknown 2 MORE CHANCES: for the in- Tho The bankers say: "We cannot to cinema audiences in longest tonbreak in the history out of the really big names

dependents--the small man feature is now on TV-beamed that of alma.

the last 25 years of American ignore money lite

In the world. But he has power, who got the best writer for a free into the home Mr Zanuck says: "Maybe films can be summed up in one Tho producors it'e matter to quit now. radhet sentence by Spyros Skouras.' cannot afford to stay

in bul He has come to prominence script, invite atop star Alco Burt Lancaster, John Wayne, thon to kool over altogether Skouros pushed forward ness if these oki alms of ours at a time when Hollywood is and Kirk Douglas to come in as selling off their roount top alms Tartor Thils load nowadays CinemaScope na the weapon to are shown for free on TV. It making 300 aims a year instead producers and share the cont the fact that a pletime. Hilco doesn't make sense." Zanuck defeat television, Says Skourts is just a question of survival." of 525 a year at the end of the and the profits will produce three or four about Alms "Never in tht The producers have lost. The war. And, those 300 films are pleturs himself in the future. history of commerce has one 700 films will go to television costing $50,000,000

DON HARTMAN, who signed Industry been subject to such and M.GM. will rango their make than did the 525 nime, names to join up within alonam NERE

Mr Semononko, gramping, the Hollywood fum" and make an Alow more films on that bom

· is, showing Audrey Hepburn to her compoilton, Television Hollywood contract and was supplying the same thing FRES I have in front of me an reality of that figure, sces also ploture which can be exploded office level can put new life into

llet from

Holly that without the British market 100 percent in every country the old slogan, Movies responsible for 20 Alms a your that we are trying to B, in catonishing

and without the markote in the in the world. Hence -Lourenco Your Bost Enter wood at Paramount, has decided to the theatres.

flms a year at 20th Century. Fading Out

Fax, has taken a six months".

MANY

We

No Credits

anywhere

10

So produbers", here: are not.

And they no, cheered

more to 2 INVITATIONS to British a proat of. £100,000 in Britain

Are