1956-06-18 — Page 4

1

Page

HE'S AMERICA'S TOP FUNNY MAN

A

By Nancy Spain

THE CHINA MAIL," MONDAY,

London. Which reminded him of and tears fan down his

RE you one of the friend who went on a diet to for. This is the beginning

pop him up and ate nothing but af: the end” he said, and people who Cu cermis for a year. Did It cure believed him. I went to make jokes and him?. "I'm not,ture,” was thọ Mont St Michele to get laugh at breakfast answer. "He just looks at me ever 11,"

with his tile plnk eyes and time? I am not.

twitches hiam noce,"

So heaven knows what 1

Lane panelti, und vorpilor et str

Tlain reminded him. Edina Ferber, author

thought when Alfred Bennett Mr Cent apologised for put- "Showboat," who was once ask- Cerf, 58-year-old Am^rlean Juke ting me oft from the pre- ed for an autograph with tha Man Number One, "What My vous evening. He had hand to startling remark: **It docm't

"old friends" in matzer "whether with

you write or Had he hnd Д good print. I copy all autographs over into my scrapbook." Which Flour Cowics and reminded him that any man who

himself took the on a won acts

psycho-analysed round all those old ought to have his hind examined.

at least seven joke books, invited Albany. me to breakfast with him at the time? Savoy.

"Oh. you. Foramotely for both of us Mr her husband Cerf is not only a Joke man, derful tour

also a bookay man.

Ho

13

liked him en.rmously,

Tee Hee

PRESIDENT

BENNETT CERF

spoid of delivery. And he, too, can carry on telling stories for hours."

"I am. looking forward to meeting: him," saldi. Bennett Cerf, with enthusiasm.

But the first Ume that Bennett Cert meets Gilbert Harding will 1 Artum houses. His kept showing Which reminded me

ttle afleys that led into squares Indy

be on Monday in TV's "What's went running to a and so on. My wife

Winnick Phyllin, A

My Line." Maurice "What did you eat for doctor, Ginger Rogerfa first

cocktail gave

T cous dinner last might?" asked the was thrilled too. You soe, this

Welcome Bennett Cort, but doctor. "Oysters," thie cald. je the liest time she's been

"Fresh oysters?" askoi the Harding deeply regretted he was London."

doctor. How should I know?" unable to attend it. He was in

"Well," asked

of une of America's Premost portab

ing houses, he has pudded the

works of Proust, James Jover, before, to Sylvia Sidney,

star. 201501 $11242

and Aristolle. He

Mr Cert has been married Bald the lady.

the the doctor, "couldn't you tell They married in when you took off the shells7" author October 1935, having eloped in "My goodness," gasped the lady Aristotle was the ody

an aeroplane to Arizona, were "Are you supposed to take off who

had never given him any

thvorced In April 1936. Sall the shells?" treble and once sent fiertrules

A Crit

n this occasion: "1 ("A Hose is a fee is a Roseli Stein a cheque made out Two way and to marry a film star." Now he is happily marrla! thousand Thrustand

delight at boys, dollars." Miss Steln wired burk and lus two

Ho! Ho!

"Cut out the jokes unt male Christopher (15) and Jonathan AND then I discovered out my cheque properly"

ite hat B.A. verats

(1). Christopher is +1.

thai

baseball joire 100 18 also in #be

Bennati Cerf reperietre,

Colombin) and a 1.1. in "the This remindest hin of School of Journalism

Bird who made a joke

about Relaxed and gentle. urbane Jaseball which I couldn't under and intelligent, he is the very eland. opposite of five brash,

Lusiing

American I expected to meet.

He is also n shrewd busines operator, Is about to make his fourth fortune out of television

the joke books,

Which reminded

Ha! Ha!

Brighton.

party

I telephoned Gilbert to 191 him what a nice man my new friend was. hope he doesn't "What's My

el

storics

In

Line?" he growled

I hope so, too. But Bennett Cerf is the only man who has ever made me laugh at, break-

Inst.

JUNE

1966,

Having abolished man-labour and with that the wages system, the Big Boys of industry are stalled by the problem of finding customers to keep the wheels turning. A. conference of Whitehall, The TU.C. and the Employers Federation decides to distribute motor cars: free to everybody on Lend-Lease.

THE PRESS-BUTTON AGE.-1

Speaking

World Copyright by carrangement with the Manchester Quardian

Bennett confided that the b AT 80, HE HOLDS THE WEST GERMANS TOGETHER

whe

moment of this trip might come he mest Sir Winston Churchill, le published Chur- chill's novel with the simple Fope of bringing this meeting to

14077

DY this me I was calling Mr chill

There are many, many Chur

stories in the Joke

His other three fortunen were cerf **Ebennett." **If you, borks. In one of these Sir made on the Stock Exchange; call me Alfreet," he said, "I shall Winston reveives President out of publishing, and out

of kill you" He then explained Roosevelt, stark naked. Bennett To mak buse-trad and 1 remembered that one. "It is a started to talk mumewhat wildly Inte

story." he said withi sout cricket. I have now enthusiasm." ogev 10 tako Phyl and Bennett to Lond's to explain the game.

13433

:

friend who made a fortune and built three swimming pools, ne hot, one culti, ki one with water at all. "You'd be

Stir- prised how many of my quaintances can't swim."

Ho..... Ho......

160.

a

AC-

And this one reminded him of

and another another

He told the and another

*Yu This reminded him of stories very well indeed find who ushl chlid to have a wonderful memory," I Bune two ancient sports. rund said.

he chik: read "Antony Cleopatra."

asked Bennett.

ג!

the

WHY ADENAUER

CAN'T RESIGN

that

his

Wagos which, by standards, were very low

Western

N 1948, the compilers When the Allies rolled acroUS

(after shelling of the German Who's the Rhine Who thought so little garden), he presented his They plan to the Americans. of Konrad Adenauer were interested in him and he and "Yes," said Bennett apologell-

of reappointed they

Mayor Ignored him wes rally. "And of course one story I SHOULD when i think of

sets off another, Ilke chain altogether. He was, ap. Cologne. the joke bocks. They have And thre reminded lilm

The next year he was sacked titles like laughter Ince of a friend who came home fram traction. I notice, though, that parently, less important

General Templer, It's important when telling

by Britain's bax porated

"and welf and threw his (Hammond,

"How did you get on?" stories not to top someone cle's thun scores of town coun- who felt that the supply problem

other cillors who found their way around Hammond,

Cologne wasn't

being Bd.), Byrner,

"Well, I broke if you don't laugh, Jauxh

helped by his administration thing

fellow gets upset. And if you into the book. (Dicty said his friend. "And

Adolf Adenauer was unperturbed. He Dobson, 10s. 6d.), and try and you know I can't afford to break tell one better, he gets upt

Fifteen years before, ine (Dennin Dx:112,

far, Better by

to BRY

wasn't particularly interested in stop

Но ninety clubs at the price they 199

Hitler had known better. 105. 04.).

That's

hcing the funniest

of Cologne, any- Mayor I carried them under

quickly,

summarily stripped Adenauer of This shook Mr Cert. 0 these days" one arm.

thing i hoard this week,' and

his post as Lord Mayor of way. He a tall, brown-faced brown

By that time, he had decided is a

"Last time I was In London, keep quiet."

Cologne and of his seat in the

That buo nust take a personal This odvice was too late. 1938 at the Munich

Rhine parliament.

hand in the building of a genuine C" adl he. "I sat in this had already topped

German

In effect, German democracy, vry room when Chamberlain So I blushed.

Hitler he reformed the old Centre Party Konrad As the Christian Democratic Party, giving it a broader politi- cal base then the old

The broader political

bol Party. bast,

however, was the

shouldered, healthy-locking man w. who don't stinke easily.

Carefully we laid them

111

* tweet us on the floor, while he came back

ate scrambled eggs and I ale Dur Tins sausages bad bicon.

100.

and sata Pence in "Stangely enough,"

his story.

I said regime

in

1 was with the then "Gilbert Herding has many of Exliter of the Evening Standard your gifts. Your memory, Your

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|

In 1944, when the

was crumbling. locked for

He was *protective custody" Gestapo.

Adenauer.

role

The compliers

taken into the by

Who's of the

Who must have been red in the essence of his strategy.

Adenauer The platform of the new face when, in 1949, suddenly emerged at the head of

Wac 30 broad party

West Germany'6 first postwar (champloning both ex-

Federal Government.

tensive social reform

In Background p

and militant tres enter-

It ab. pris?) that sorbed everybody however, they but the extremo na should be forgiven. Until 1948, Hjonalists on one side Adenauer had always preferred

and the extremo

PERHAPS,

to stay in the background. The Socialists and Com- interplay of political forex In-

terested him more than the in-munists on the other. terplay of political personalities, In the election of End he preferred to manipulaté 1940, rather than to lead.

Adenauer

scraped into power

His passion for theory mani and, by forming a fested itself at the outset of his coalition with the

carter.

By LES ARMOUR

+

pooled almost as if the British Socialist end Conservative parties had joined forces,

The economy of the country, be reasoned, could take care of He genuinely balleved in Franco- domestic issues, started off as a itself.

German co-operation, in a curious political mixture, It was

Europe, and The real problem was a

Pay- wilted chological one, Germans, ruined European defence scheme. by the First World War, had had

The course, however, was not their national self-respect ro

Under the stress of the years he has lost support at both ends stored by Hither. Now the wheel silcgether smooth, had.

turned its full course again For one thing, if Germany was have held together largely be

The party and the goverment and the ruin was greater than to wins -

Đ a respected place in

Adenauer hap usidythlo Ever

Western allanes, she must un- Adenauer attacked the

Western smality as a cement. He is prob- questionably accept the lem squarely,

point of view. That precluded chce reported to have told a re the possibility of winning the porter. "I am 70 percent of the Russiaria avor to any feasible Cabinet." plan for German reunification.

Despite all his And German reunification, ment

CA$150

That, no doubt, is true.

He offered to join the Westem camp without reservations, Pro vided the Allies agreed to re store German sovereignty.

He offered to co-operate with to industrial reconstructions, was tonality has, again, become mora over the Sear and to the country's biggest problem. Important thara principle.

France

ce to a Western defence plan under which unilateral action by Gendny

Adenauer knew that he cauld

His

efforts par-

..

In The Wings,

German would be practically not survive ferver in impossible providing Francs politics without any progress on KONRAD Adenauer is now 80-...

was prepared to reunification.

only Jong-

an incredible age for a many Dgree to German range hope has been that the who must hold a government rearmament and a Western alliance would everitual- and a party together by the German place, on ly prove strong enough to force strength of his will Tall, equal terms, in the Russians to give way.

square and 'still handsome, he books as though he could stand A Problem the strain indefinitely.

the Western

fence scheme.

Ha

urged the

He to a nori-smoker, and he

walk is ro United States to BUT here, too, was a problem, drinks rarely.

D Germans, ruined by two bxed, his voice soft, his speech, plug for an Ameri-

style world wars, were not altogether precise.

Ho

never seems to chr

as ordered United happy about the prospect of tak- hurry, and his mind is es States of ing up guna again, especially on will never burn himself out,

as the papers on his

Не desk, behalf of their former enemics. Europe.

But there 巡 no doubt that he Germany, in fact, has not yet would like to get back to his All of

been able to make any sub rose garden, where ha these

pro-

can be glantial contribution to Western done with his thoughts, posals harve

ag- defence, and Adenauts has had

He has already, according to cribed

to do avoid for

(the pace at any reliable report, decided that ha must resign. But he cannot forg- to curry singe He determined to be a right wing nationalists, managed Machiavellian plan

place he cake appropriate.moment, The lawyer and he studied law not to form stable government favour with the Americanas and

West Germany's at one univerally but at three which left the far left isolated. win time for a broader plan to wanted in the Western alliance, odds are that Freiburg, Munich end

rocover German's former gloriel. but has yet to pay the grice, polical stability and Bonn. Then

down to ha settled

The country was in ruins. But No doubt many Germans backed And, when conscription is finally valuable, asset-will go with

issue him, practise law in Cologne. He Adenauer

had, within West Acmauer because they thought introduced, the political

That happened the fest may still become red hot. ... Beyond there immediate" prob- Germany experimented with entered local governmont in 1800 Germany, almost the whole of he had come such plats, RS a "department mayor" in the industrial potential of pre- But the record; in fact, makes lems, Adauer has been faced democracy, Cologne. But his local

govern- war Germany," with the major it clear that very few of the by 'the slippery problem, which And the intellectunt els of ment activities were more on exception of the Saar. He also ideas

broad the men who brought Hitler to all stems directly from tho expresska

of his devotion to had a rich supply of skilled stemmed Leven Adenauer's political base of his party. The power are almost certainly, wait- civic duty than a manifestation labour prepared to work for staunch prewar Internationalism. Christian Democratic Party,

any. Concem with practical polities.

By 1917, he was Lord Mayori

como

01 (Cologne. But he had also be

One of the intellectual leaders of the Centre Party and a powerful voice among Catholic polkicians.

He remained as Lord Mayor of

Cologne until Hiler, deposed

him

He also remained a member of the Executive Committee of the

2

Balance

Centre Party until Hitler closed the

London.

HE price of rubber.in

They were · New.......

He

hce won

the

J

on ing in the wings again.

her most

Lost time

Sheet for an Empire

By JOHN MCKENNA

Malaya, school enrolment is now twien what it was in 1946,

These are not isolated casCS. The "Social welfare? stay

Malaya, the banana The cotton crop in Uganda was Mau has been broken. In crop in the Cameroons, poor. The price of cocoa-the dependence is around" the extends from Malaya's vast now community centre staple product of much of West corner in the Gold Coast The educational programma deya to Copra outlook is growing brighter in the Cum rising us of

Chall It down;

prices

Tristan da Cunha, British Gulana tumbled, too, It is conceivable that, had in Tristan da Cunha, the Afrka fell sharply.

terror · campaign In

con- tiny, almost bare rock in mid- be beaten, Adenauer entered thro tray of

But the prices of rubber, tin, Terror con

Community hall stitutional deadlocks overcome. Alantic. Its copper and load were good. national politics and abandoned Cyprus.....

The ups and the downs com The record, on balance, le not, hid to be pre-fabricated in Brimin but literally the whole bine to make a good bataned in fact, black,

But rising prices.

ispopulation "of the blind turned in sheet

bis role as 'guiding theorist for All these and atheisand more that of political leader, Hider items just as remote from would have been stopped. and another go into the dr

colonies.

Condemned

For inat BOSNA Acomfort and happiness, creatocă.

nual balance sheet of Britain's Malaya' are of alight interest to But the balance again to be to set it upon ALESS

curious. There is no way of the victims of falling prices in balancing off terror in Cyprus Easy To Forget

against the amicable solution On balance, what was the Wos Africa,

Schools, hospitnis, gaol, com HITLER proved that in time reore

The real balancing weight led which seems likely to energo mutity centres even smage for the human raĻOT of crisis personalities aro Proft or less?

in the back of the report--the after the Gold Const elections works. All these gaire - more important than theories, Economically the story fabrict outline of research and In human tems, the derse detall

Copra official phrased under the head. There is probably Adenauer found himself con- 1955 is good. The total value at development projects.

little doubt Social

reveal that the sum total of human demned to. 12 years of isolation colonial production rose by £200 cotton, and cocoa ere ast the ing in the rose gardens of his villa million-to a record £3,100 subject of intensive reach much. at Rhondorf, on the Rhine. · Lon

and the long jam,outlook), good, Ho.managed to load as toler- Exports rose by il percent. able a life as anyone could under Imporis rope by 10 percent, The the Nazi regimo-rounded by territorios de a whole showed a his seven happy children. But slight defelt in their balance of It must have been a time of deep payments But that, the

His tricaids among the

Colonial, Office reveals in noul searching, NAS

annual report"The Colonial powerful Industrialists Territories") is no cause for carried

Weight, under gloom. It rofecia a build-up in Hill to praise him against purchasing power uddenly the Gestapo. Nothing happened reloasodnot, a to him even which he was taken loto te reoper into proclive custody.” RED REThere 2 wero

Meanwhile, he was prepariot Wouth.en/maatred the bo ́a: ploty, kur'a now CertameT

crot in the

Precise

in Malaya, Bels by the developement programme fish Gulang and Mauritius minor outsinares the sun tala!" of offenders are now reiven to new human misery, created by the

Pol Mural Wok.": "Prisoners""; de mensuron ngalmst life-but it lo optre details, in cold, prected at regular intervals in their happincis when the headlines

The political

of the stead of going to gaol turn out my to forget the Incrend in

the accumulations of black lelaure, time and new, resigned to ord, spelling out the mines in hand have round on our various kinds of vocational fottere an inets high

at tables/overy moking training and given special

Cypria Constituational guld

Wwwel type', 'af 'sontend-called argietra Aarroristi, Life, is mos ta jube:

in Singapore. Ed

the book

tresbling education'contror'an)

Mad rodentar-lord is enroll

Well then what them,

Oil on We? What was the acome for the human rac07.d shalb wrong with my figu

400 € balance Ins the colonies 141

tálaly?og the crecís aide,