1956-01-14 — Page 14

POCKET CARTOON

by OSDERT LANCASTER

118

"Well, if none of the Government are going to he allowed to utter until the P.M.'s quite made up hin mind, I should say we're in for some long stretches of blissful silence !!!

20

THE

W

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 1956.

THINGS THAT MAKE AMERICANS LAUGH

HAT makon America laugh? Is

their *sentяe of humour different from our Own? And if so, in what way?

Apparently the particular ingredients in the American way of life that have kept them laughing loudest and longest in the past years are these:

י

five

WOMAN ON THE RUN from Mun. though al ways making sure that all in good time- hera, of

A British Crossword Puzzle

510

ACROHN

1 Alcove (B).

4 Humble (5)

7 Testimony (8).

9 Smear (6).

8 Relative (51.

#1 Camel

13 Deceives (7).

RA (24

In Slate of gif (

18 Donkeys (ealing) (5)

19 Geta ready (81)

20 Faithful (5).

21 Stable

(G)

U

4

5

16

DOWN

1 Stuggers (0).

2 Finished (5)

3 Farme

(7)

4 Reparation (0).

Civle Digni ary (8).

6 Strch (4)

pobable (0)

12 Vartes highly (7).

13 6h! 10).

#4 Heuller (01)

16 Dimunk. (3).

17 A lempt (5).

YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD –Veron В Ромить

Hurri ܀

17

Mavi, 10 Lamente, 11 Eple, 12 Sour. 54 Dutch, 17 Prine, 19 Wager, 72 testure, 26 sere, 71 Daid, 26 Ampires, 2 Eteh, 36 Neat. 31 Deserta. Až Ten. JM, 4 solid. & Placid, ₫ Chest, 7 Hotor, 12 Spur.

Down 2 Qatar

13 A 15 Uren 14 Mare, k Ardent, 26 Assert. 27 Erecta. 23 Ennus 24 Twine, 25 Eate

THE NEW BOOKS

These

are

of can womBLIN

avery American artist tries the Amer from his hand at this type joke sooner or later. :-

– Just a

hea no-

where to

run. And

can

small desert island, at long last and a cost of two castaways, th long- course he is going to answer In "Culture Why do Americans And this uffor. catch up with her.

vulture" lectures,

theme funny? Nobody ing Ameri- hoary or on

knows.

mala exponsive tours to Europe,

bor WOMAN RUNNING

Once, when I lived in Now has

where he MAN RAGGED after mar.

the

York, main

I asked a cut-price wants he ringe with biting remarks themes of the illustrated Joneses next door at the ilme) baychiatrist (he was visiting tha

--or so he about his inability to keep jokes that recur most often for one good reason.

thinks, poor boob." up with those Joneses next in The New Yorker 1960-55 sulicy, Album (Hamish Hamilton,

D.C. door; or witty, yet observations about his not 35s.).

the being half the man a one who chased her to the altar in the long ago.

WOMAN ON THE RUN (with Man naturally reach mg for the bill) und trip ping herself up emotionally trying to find out why she is running, from what, and tu where.

the Seeking

Flying

saucera

"Simple," he sold "You see, out re on that desert island

*If' I'm stupid, what about you?

married me, didn't you?'

You

NOW A POCKET JANE'S

of the "SHOOT FIRST," by Ronnie Noble (Harrap, London. 15/-).

Random sample: Junior typist being entertained at a smart New York restau- rant: "I used to see your THE WORLD'S WARSHIPS, pult--but a good many expense accounts at the

by R. V. B. Blackmah Betual ships. oflice, Mr Hofstetter, but

(Macdonald, London. The traditional oftlines of never dreamt I should be in

British carriers' are seen flying 12/6). them."

the age of the Dominions even of France and the Nether there

are cruisers share E author of the well-known leads and

standard naval reference and destroyers belonging 16 honours book, Jane's Fighting Ships, has countries like Turkey and. Ar- with harem now produced . pocket-size geriina that are so typically jokes and edition of the parent work. Royal Navy in buline thni

their signals must still

speak cynical law- In bis Introduction he saya with a British accent, yers bring this book "may fill the needs of closely connected ing

One also gets a good idea of bad those more

with the sea affair who, though the extent of the decline and newa to possessed of more critical fall of the Royal Navy from their clients more technical knowledgs, can- being the world's biggest to the in gnol. not for one reason or another third biggest dect.

delve into the much fuller and

How can I be sure you're a millionaire?"

VIGNETTES OF LIFE

t

LIONEL, YOU MUST

NEVER TALK WITH YOUR

MOUTH FULL--? HOW

MANY TÍMES MUST I

TELL YOU ? *

ER, THE

WAITRESS

BROUGHT

IT BY

MISTAKE!~

HE-MAN CAUGHT IN THE ACT,

SOME FOLKS

DON'T CARE

FOR SWEETS –

ESPECIALLY:

THOSE WHO

CUT THEIR

JEETH |ON TOBACCO,

WONERS

or

Sample. more expensive Jone's." Lawyer to Tius is an excellent little client: volume which nobody with a harbour view, a pair of field "We've un-glasses and a modest curiosity to covered 1 know more of the ships that sall whole mass in and out of Hongkong, should of new evi-

be without,

dence, Wil It contains all the salient de-

are

not

In 1914, Britain had 75 battleships and battle cruisers. There were 42 in 1910, 29 in 1922, 15 in 1939 and in 2955 only five-and øll in reserve at that.

America has 15 three voterant,

Parade

WILL THE A haunted stair LADY GO? case will soon be sold, at Rufford Abbey, Nottinghamshire, at one time a Clatercian monastery. Part of the Abbey is being dé- molished and some dine oak of arms and panelling, coats

replaces will also be for sale.

History says there aro, two ghosts at Rufford One is a cowled monk with a death's kend under the cowl and the other is a little old lady in black who climbs the fine oak..., stair- casc.

the Edwinstono An entry in Parish Register records that many years ago someone "died of fright" after seeing the Rut- ford ghost, and in 1902 the late Lord Saville and he know people who had mot tho little old lady.

Now the question is: will the go with the staircase or ghost will the little old lady decide to remain with the ruins of Ruf- lord.

IT was the kind of here-today- gone - tomorrow life that Ronmile Noble leads as a newas reel caméramon that attracted❘ SINGING mo to journalism,

Oswald Evans, GOALKEEPER 35, ex-Fulham goalkeeper, won Only where Noble has had all a allver rose bowl for singing at the "Krips" and all the fu, I've | Freckleton, Lancashire muzic

"Ossie," been virtually drak-bound since festival.

who I was given my fira, newspaper | known "Fulham's singing assignment at the age of ligoalkeeper," once turned down to cover the Stock Exchange.

So I enjoyed this book im- mensely and envied its author tremendously.

in telling his story, Noble has given a striking picture of the routine life of a busy pressman, the various jobs he undertakes in the coUNC of his day, the enterprise, the skill and the rike tie takes to get a good "story"-in this case

im shots.

and Russia sudacity, the

Once in 1919-Britain had 7 cruisers (which Jellicoe insisted the absolute minimum necessary to protect British seaborne trade). Now It has 23. America has 73 and Russla 30. Today Britain has 17 aircraft carriers, while America has 103.

Le

Was

an offer to go on the stage from the comedian and Fulham direc lor, Tommy Trinder.

Now living at Blackburn, he is groundsman and football coach to Blackburn Grammar School. He left Fulham in 1950. Не was described by the adjudicator as "a man with dignity who look

singer and has assurance and a fine vnice."

kins. Un tails of the various clasics of

"Shoot First" is a good book Wak warships with a general intro- fortun-

bright book-largely be- | HIS OWN A man who made duction to each section. There

cause the author has en ately it are good photographs

CURRENCY a fortune although of the

teresting story to tell, but also

he could not read proves con- pe found in Jane's on almost

because he ta it in his own or write fa to have a road clusive every jage but the silhouettes.

re: kay-lo-day idiom. Thero named after him in Alperton, plans, flags, uniforms and ether that by

The road will be stuffy "Biterary style" Middlesex. During World War One Bri- superimposed ads 119 to detalls of admiralty structures

by a professional called Haynes Road, after Henry you're have been omitted,

tain had about 430 destroyers. "ghost"

be-Haynes, who died in 1910 aged It had 370 in 1019, 183 în 1922. guilty!"

Also the warships

Leve he is a Londoner. We are 78. 180 in 1939. One hundred and divided us intu navies. as in forty-eight were itst in the war

really left in no doubt of it. And sent 3.0's. Ships of all nations are

There is not a page of this but with replacements it had

book without ter

ackon of ed dealt with in types. Thus the

some 250 in active service its 1940.

Bort. throughout: ection on sincraft carriers, for Today It has about 80, America

It la Noble's job to report on the lives of the deals with British, example

people has 300 and 380 destroyer es- Man- Americas, French, Dutch, Aus-

around him. And he has done corts, while Russia has 150, versus- tralian and Canadian ships.

as well with the pen as he has there are Looking through these pages, Woman-on- ·

Today, of course,

obviously done with the camera. the different criteria involved one is able to understand

the This is the story bahind Desert- contribution the Royal Navy has assessing the strength and newarcels

you

on the Island joke, mode to the present-day navies effectiveness of a feel. But the screens in Hongkong theatres

Di Not only bas it fact remains that in terms

and the films you will be sco- Judging of the world.

the Ing soon on television screens, from this provided the ideas like the afr- numbers and sheer bulk,

craft carrier and the battleship, Royal Navy is but a shadow of An Illuminating, exciting--even album, the angled deck and steam cats- its formot sell, RH.

Inselnating-story-RH.

The

Sweet Tooth

IF A GIRL HAS A DOG AND FEEDS IT CANDY

THERE IS NO USE BUYING AN EXPENSIVE BRAND- ∙IT'S ALL THE

SAME TO A POOCH.

'NO, IT ISN'T.

SO MUCH CLEANLINESS

AS DETERMINATION"

TO GET ALL..

THAT'S COMING

TO HER

·COM. INE BY GENERAL FEATURES COMP. ILWORLD RIGHTS KESERYED,

ה!

BY HARRY

KOC

WEINERT

THE GIRL WHO WANTS ONLY

HARD CENTERS —THE SOFT ONES -AFTER BEING TESTED -- ARE LAID ASIDE, GENERAL.LY WHERE ONE SITS DOWN.

GRAPPLING HOOK TECHNIQUE..

IT TAKES MORE THAN INSTANT MIXES, TO KEEP UP WITH THE INSTANT EATERS.

FAMILY

One of Mr Haynos 17 children, Mrs Sarah Alkins, 89, live, close by in Napier Road, Wem ley.

Haynes, who first worked in a smithy, became the landlord, publican, grocer, butcher, shoe- maker and employer of labour district. He insured a for the "coinage" of his own-zınk discs, which his employees used to Currency in his shops,

•

CAT ACTOR Sadler's Wells WANTED Opera is look- Jag for a new cat. The former theatre cat "Sadler, who used to make an occasional stage appearance, has been missing for a month.

"Sadler" appeared regularly In "School for Fathers** when, at the end of the second act, as the stage emptied, he jumped on to the garden wall, gazed round and then slowly made his exit through the wings.

This opera is being revived on February 24 and a now perform- ing cat will have to be found and trained by that time.

•

FOOD AND Fantastic dreams DREAMS

ake not 10CES sarily the result of what people ent just before going to sleep-even if they did have pickles and cheese for sup per. That view is put forward in the British Medical Journal.

A medical expert, answering a doctor's question, says it is assumed that indigestion In the crute of disordered sleep. and disturbing dreams.

But so far as his knowledge FOCE thero

sclentile evidence which implicates cheze mr. my other substance in food as a "specific factor."

He quotes a willing or 1545 which instructed mothers

take

to

hode that the chyldo sleeps not

not with a full stomake and keep it awake until part of the food had been digested. Said a Landon doctor; would be interesting to hear of research . though where le tue to and volunteers willing to run the risk of terrible dreams?!!

TEETOTAL

LAUNCHING builders

their

new ships down to the sea TOW "The ⠀⠀ flest time on Munching ramps made lippery go with barenas. Indinris

object on

religious grounds to the... use. animal tallow which is the main

substitute bit be

fredin usod 1

Fin British shipyarda. he wooding fa

Indiias

which are

out there.

The bakinas ripe, ary

big pros

nutty

in great quare

queded to pul and then spread