1956-01-11 — Page 4

'Fare 1

THE" CHINA | MAIL,” WEDNESDAY, JANUARY = 11, 1956.

If you can bear it, here

are

MY PREDICTIONS

JANUARY: The wea.ber will the by horrible, and so will ALWS. Snow on high ground, low ground, and down the back Pipes will be OLIT .cek. frozen,

so will credit. We shall hear that although the country

has never been overybody

and

20 prosperous, should cut spending.

FOR 1956

By NATHANIEL GUBBINS

cum.

But as I know I could never hold a cat ke tha! for long 1 made sure of my reserves.

One for 1955 was Ernie Boy, handsome, dark, thoughtful, and

1

rough and tough but essentially clothes. I like to do simple "Lo." and had that American things." way of making a girl acutely There have been man Traps conscious of her charms.

before Eartha, but they must have had better press agents.

"These man irapa of the past were so simple they did all their own cooking wallo they em- ployed two or three chats, swept

as Olympia when they had half a dozen nousemaids, went home al Christmas help momma with the washing up when they could have paid for a hired heip, and oven darned their old father's socks instead of buying him a new pair,

One, I remember, had an aged aunt

who lived ja a útle old coltage somewhere in The country. I think it had honey- avckie round the door but no groceries in the cupocard,

On the auni's

this birthday man trap

straightened all that out,

10 According

Ner press abent, she drove down to inc Sutiage in a powerful car full of groceries and everything

F you are not feeling JUNE: Governmoni in a quan- dary about Russian ericket very well after your

If there are Incidents New Year partics you in match with English team had better skip this.

tntre will be more world ten- sion. But if

take it,

If Government inter- you can

venes to prevent match there here are the predictions of

will be war. Uld Moore Gubbins, the

JUkai lan cricket team discredited astrologer, for plays an English team. Eng- difdent, Not my type at all the floors in a house as big fish far. Lowler knocks Rus- really, as I prefer them forth 1966.

stan batsman unconscious coming, rellabic, full of life and Home Guard re-formed,

the enjoyment of it, without too AUGUSA: To save the world a much brains but their paws al- lag an cris.et cam is allow ways ready in your defence.

ed to beat дл

The other was the elderly Mr Bil-kush announce Pudder Wooders, a ally cat with Russian Laares. themaciver

cricket silly name. world

Ho was always and champions, and claim to have saying age doesn't matter.

membering the good old days invented cricket.

cricket before I was born. An ace bore, SEPTEMBER: Russians

line of mail. World

defence Say Ivan the Terrible but my inst

wt.en hopes of true romance are so called becous; he was frat wi

over. Anything but "exciting" demen bowler, weather will Tae

and "rewarding." to quote Government OCTOBER: And

says be wotzt.

will the

critics again. As

country nev.r 20 the Governmuni

prosperous. Work

MX BEST PARTY: This COMAN the

Coe-gay to con.inue will

Buy

week and minimum wage of happened when "they" were On Camry Beni ever wan

21,000 a year,

licir holidays. Ten cals in ali. prosperous the workers will

We ran all over the place, tear- Jura NOVmani colkery columa- phorier week.

ists already Threat of

writing hungrily in the furni.ure to bits. Ailer-

She played "gardines," railway strike, but as people about turkeys. Russian cricket words

cuddling up on the sofa. That will be

team sails for Austraila. .00 nervulis to travel

but silly Mr Pudder rallways, faw will

want la, al

Wooders, who sulked because I The rest

meath off for Christmas, Ex- will be in

took too much notice Aus-

of Ernic por down 9 percent. und will

cricketers trudian

refuse

Boy. lu

Just MY OPERATION:

be- allow Russions to win, Knock tacin all unconscious. World fore Christmas cut my paw teralớn grows. Ur is in on a broken milk bolic and ment. To all a happy Chrui- went into hospital. A general TIL 1956 if there is one, anaesthetic was given and the operation verformed by charm- kg Mr Dyke, who lives near us.

tenston Increases.

news.

on the

cart.

bel with Influenza,

60

care even less. World tennon increases.

the

La 100RIS,

worst weather Wors. news YRI

DAZZAREJEN. The Government wil say Lou has never been BU Country

the workerA

prosperons,

A4

won t

الاقناة ان ال

Backward glance

My 1955, by Lottio, the Devil Cat

wiu demand AL four-day werk for double monty. APRIL: The munch of Budget

and bird soun.

Government will y

the

country

MY BEST MEAL: The best has never been so prosperous, so meals are always stolen meals. I they probably

reduce shall never forget the day I was LaXES.

Workers will demand ie stone in the house with the A three-day wick for treble larder door open. nwoner.

T'anic on Stock Ex-

I began with ruw let of change.

Bird song drowned scic, crunchy and delicious and by explosions of more power testing of the sea. After that

bombs

In ercels of the remains of a cold chicken, peper and security. MAY: Who cares about world terribly

Leusion when cricket begins? verding,” as the BBC Cтics But happy season is marred say. After that my nose in by formation of its. Russion jug of cream and a long sleep, crickel

MY BEST BOY Government

FRIENDS: will say

the country has Must girls have only one drve never been so prosperous, so juve. The others are substitutes workers wll demand 1 two- f the original.

tebin.

day week al fear imes

money. Exports halved,

же

the

on

Although the stliches are out and my paw has healed I had a wonderfully "exciting" and "re- warding Christmas playing sympathy, I had only to limp or hold up the paw and the turkey Wis practically mine.

A pity I held up the wrong paw on Boxing Day, but as the turkey was almost finished by then I didn't miss much.

kont could want.

AUT

had jorgotten nothing except that her aunt had been dead a couple of years.

Yes, sir. They were as simple

{World copyright)

as that.

GREMLINS

IN THEIR PHONES

Paris

Tvisitors, the working of

10 a good many fore.gn

the French telephone aуB- tem is among

the higher mysteries of the universe. has

including the parson's nose, So The good Eartha's a legend which

"exciting"

and "re-

the MY TRUE LOVE WAS MAN-

HATTAN MOUSER. He

was

grown out of countless

TARTHA Kilt, the singer skirmishes with incompre-

known in America as "The Man Trap" told a reporter:

When I sing songs like 'I Wanna Be Evil' folks get the impression Im a wicked

per- son. But I'm really very simple at heart. I design all my own

ROLEX

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THE ROLEX OYSTERDATE PERPETUAL fulfils an urgent need for a selfwinding calendar watch elegance and superb precision at a moderále cost.

operators

hensible baffling callers.

and

Yei, in fact, the French Post Office has slowly been eliminat- ing factors which phone users

have

hitherto ascr.bed to superna urai intervention. And last week * banished the last Lelephone mystery by a new machine

Invented by Jean Girard, a retired inspec.or.

It is a 10-inch by 18-inch box which

can

he axed to A line wi en a subscriber complains that there are

ure “gremlins“ in his telephone. I was adopted after

R

ests in a recent case,

the biggest

crystal ball of all

1926)

well once again as the youngest one of the giles famly i have been arsked to do his job for him cheifly because I can do it better than he can and partly because he don't look very of this morning after 6 weeks of mas followed up by hogmany.

our house is never what you'd call a quiet country resdence in the mornings and lost saturday when he came down to breakfast when, were having our lunch it was like a mill bom going off in a mills pond and we all got a thik ears each instead of the usual 2

this was because some had put in the paper that mr giles was going to draw the biggest cartoon in the hole world but hadn't let him no.

to

giles going draw the biggest cartoon in the hole world

one

his pen

his ink

biggest rubber in the hole world

mr giles says that poepel who predict that he is going to predict the biggest prediction ever predicted without letting him no ta lot of my are very inconsidrate and he called his editor a lot of funny little words like the ones he says when he trips

my bycide.

over

So as mr

->

giles cant think of enough cartoon to cover stamp this week i said i'd take over the crystal balls from sefton

delmer and fredrik ellis and hand them over done with them.

hapeny

to that eve perrik when ju

giles dont' hurry up and he'll be out of work and I'll

the first thing i predict is that if mr flaish his xmas wisky fre

be taking over for good.

as clokwork

the next thing i predict is Vera will have colds reglar every month.

i also predict that i'll have measels this year as f

look pretty.

you

havent had them very often and i think measels make

mr giles made a resolution that he isn't going to drink any more and mrs giles said he couldn't. grandma says shes' going to by mr bulganin and ge Krushchev a pint when they come over even if mr eden dont.

giles if he don't keep our poodel under control the our policeman told mr bottoms going to fall out of the poodel market owing to supply being greater than demand but i don't no what he's talking about.

Kgrandma

i predict that if ann edwards and that eve perrik dont stop writing rude things about evryone evryone's going to stop taking the express then we'll att be

all be out of work including me.

all mr

giles pretty nurses sent him rude xmas cards about poepel who holler out o before they're hurt.

vera predicts the end of the world as often as she has colds. mr giles says if the littel boy with the hair who comes in to play with us dosn't get a hair cut this year hes going to stik him on a broom

тор. handel and use him for a in-

A man complained that every time he answered his phone at home, voice sald "Alio? that the Cure de l'Est?”

Is

The Post Office officials sta led M. G.rard's machice.

First they found that the

Volce always called from the

same address. Then they dis- covered that when the man who hod complained answered, the voice said "Allo? Is that the Gare de l'Est?" When his wife answered, however, the voice said "Bonjour, cherie, low are

my little cabbage?"

you

Post Once discreetly advised the caller to use another code-and told the husband that his phone Was now in order!

Stephen Coulter

all the rest of the giles famly don't predict anything and i'm not making any resolutions this year as i'm nearly, two old in the teeth well; must close now as mr giles has just. come home which means that i should been in bed about 7 hours

wishing you all a jolly new year.

ago.

my

teath

DD

yours truly fore

LONGVA KAPREIS SETV'AS

BY-ELECTIONS WILL TEST TREND

W

OF TORY PARTY'S FORTUNES

London

IIILE the crys'al

gazers are busy

to making prophecies no difference

the

By Vaughan Jones

present

for 1966, the politicians in' strengths of the parties in ing that Britain's great boom

arc

w`rrying

Parliament.

for 18 months only, is just wasteful.

The young man delays his

But now economists are warn→ Such an end to the call-up full-time astry into industry. would be hailed by Britons of reluctantly accepts army life; la Whitehall

can only continue if wages and all parlics." "Never *** populat," uesful as a soldier for perhaps prices can be deadle and the National Service was accepted, only six months and, then more about the outcome of But the trend will show Sir fal in the round's value stopped. because of the need to provide becomes a civilin again. 1 batch of New Year Arthery Eden and his Tory

sufficient men to meet Common-

And the big farming võtaj by-elections,

government whether he can This will call for the rejection wealth obligations as well as in Western Buy Lush ahead with plans of at least part of the pay claims. urply a garrison

According to the Inbest figures, The by-electiona

to stabilice Britain's wags-price due for stem structure before

pettlement

Germany.. over the

A nearly half the farmers in the country next few weeks. For these from the dispatch of four slides into another phase of in would add enother £500 milion

Increased pay to bring army Britain now have an: Income of leading Tory MP's to the nation; whether

earnings he can risk to the railon's wage bill, helping factory wages has been demand they have ever had before,

with over £1000 a year, moi theo Lrds following the govern- losing votes by telling the to price British goods out of ment reshuffle; the earldom British workers to halt their world markets.

call for more pay.. conferred on Mr Attlee; and the recent death of Mr

William Whitley, Labour Most Prosperous

MP.

And there is a

signlicant

Sir Anthony Eden, however, still has an ace, vole-winner up his jeave.

more in line

Stumbling Block

ed for years,

So they should be satisfed Its introduction would be with Tory rule, haled throughout the country as a master-stroke by whichever, They are, of course, subsidised government that did so,,

by the taxpayer to the extent g of an annual £250 million. This "It is conscription—or, rather,

sunt may be wightly reduced. End-of-year · figurds'- showed itä-abolition.

now because the destruction of factor about them. Progate that 1955 marked the most,

rabbits by disease, last year" is. kie prosperous · -ern 'In 'history for The Annual White Paper on

estimated to have saved the Senitered up and down the Britain and the rest of Western Defence, published In February, The Treasury is believed to be farmers between £10 and £15 country, their results will be a Europe, Around 300 million is likely to outline the provisions the stumbling block to previous rallion, pointer towards the next poopie ato more food, bought for abolishing conscription al plans submitted by the Service girl, they should not be ban General Election,

more clothes, enjoyed themselves together over the next three chiefs. Now public opinion and.. more. built more houses, factories years.

the need

1 to "refainhighly clined to cavil at Conservallam They will lost recent pubile and offices than ever before

trained, long service men to which (so the townamen wy) opinione' polls which indicate

It is also expected to ans

operato, the army's latest conues to featherbed, sabey that Labour would now win s

whose fortunes nounes army, pay rises which

weapons may cause the Treasury

So General Election following: Mr directly influence Britain's pros would attract a bigger dove of to become more generous **/** Butler's unpopular. Autuma" perity, also had its most prosé › recruits. This would raise the Originally the Bervice chiefs budget.

Sperous year, Shop prices there Kelrength of the Regier Army, to oppored the total abolition:

Berealy moved et production, at least the minimum border for 2 Conscription Date The contested menta, are not daming said spending all soared" zurrison aud Honal-dageng opinio marginal; the valike say murkie la record juvelirs

for