1955-12-24 — Page 14

POCKET CARTOON by OSDERT LANCASTER

15

ND SPOW YOR

PARADE

LAND OF Jump ship in a HOPE: foreign port to sock a now lite in some golden land? Not likely, now- adays, if 'you're an Englishman,

England is the golden land, and It is English ports that foreign sallors jump ship to And a fortune.

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24, `1955.

1

A COLUMN OF The unusual abouT PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THINGS

Disappearing Trick of some of their sallors,

of

kind of

one-man business so hard that the Anal Agure is likely to be about the same as last year's

More quickly than the beat a jungle drum, it seems, the grapevine passos news to the crows quarters of high pay al the clamour of Britain's fac-

SCHOOLBOYS' An electronic torics for

brain, which DREAM - men-any

will oven- men with two hands,

tually be able to translate 3,000 Maybe prosperous-looking wottle of French and other Between 25,000 t 30,000 friende and relatives who have languages jole English each Beamen,

and found a niche in Britain's hour is being perfected at Birk- most from India Pakistan, are belleved to have come aboard as the ship lies beck College in London. nettled in the Industrial alongside and

Converse In undertones. Midlands

Or perhaps the seamen after hearing tales of gold in the factories.

10 hurry persuasion through the docka.

The upshot has been stipa' masters at salling time, have found some of their crew have vanished.

This was the estimate quoted jis a court cuse brought by the Ellerman Associated Lines,

interested

themselves

Ju

A British Crossword Puzzle

12

18

19

20

121

25

127

ACROSS

3 Senes of operations (B)

8 Beverage (4).

1 Determined (8)

11 Bullfighter (8)

13 Diegs (4).

15 Mended (8).

18 Business chief (8)

19 Vehicles (4)

21 Offered (8).

25 Murries (8)

20 Drug (4)

27 Precious hoard (8)

VESTERDAY'S

13

14

26

DOWN

| Leave out (4).

4 Couple 44).

4 tuled (4).

5 Impoverished (4)

0 Harden (8).

T

Resulted

Swift (5).

10 Sedate (5).

12 Musical work (5)

14 Run away (5).

16 Vex's (5).

17 Exploits (5)

1x (G).

20 Indian coin (5)

21 Pulls (4),

22 Nigh (4).

23 Apartment (4).

24 Consider (4).

ARONSWO1), - Acros: 1 Gasped, 4 Bakin

7

24

the

7 Opponent

map a Spread, 11 Erected, 12 Preltate, 13 Credit, in About 12 Bucka 21 Erdent Down: Gloss, 2 Pane I Dreaded. A Battle. & Situsted. ₫ Słupid 10 Rhetorie 12 Reelise. 13 Placid, 14 Utiers,

Ammodated

10 Klond 17 Tudor

need no

with

THE CUSTOMERS ARE SCARED OF CANNIBALS

By George Malcolm Thomson

the

G

UNTHER countless

L

This is revealed in the annual report of the Nuffield Founda- Hlon,

which

supporta ay College work on mechanics; away translation

on annual grant that grant. The The report atates. word-for-word translation ungtisfactory. To solve the problem of wond order, the grammatical structure of the language must be investigated in detail and

micro-glossaries stem-ending dictionaries in the spreifte subject-must be coin- piled and coded."

But by that time the seainen are perhaps in distant Birming- or Coventry with their heavy Industries, or in Brad- ford with its woollen milis.

רוניות

Their vessel gone, they are safe in their new horneland They cannot be deported; they are Commonwealth eltizens.

Moreover, they form honest, law-abiding communities. Bradford, the Moslems have their own moveque, The dope- peddler is the exception. The majority work hard in transport or industry. And employers re- gord them highly.

sions, reached few doctor. conclusions

during

It is sold consult

ปี

000

of

the

of

the

TWO

NOTABLE

NEW

BOOKS

INSIDE AFRICA. By John ly regarded by his political Governor of Tanganyika, known Said the Oba of Lagos, "God Gunther, Hamish Hamil- followers as their best exhibli. as "Twinkletoes," Michael Blun- did not make Nigeria, The ton, 30s. 960 pages.

Nkrumah was reared a Roman dell, Sir Ernest Oppenheimer, British did." Worst feature of Catholic, is now an "undenóm)- Dr Schweitzer, to say nothing the country-"dash" Le. bribery

ulso national Christian": formed Marxist.

C. J. P. Ionides, and corruption. "If you don't that he Tanganyika forest ranger and give me Is.," said a nurse in impres occasionally

witch famous naturalist, who threw the hospital to her patient. "I'll his watch away in 1937 and so that your next operation je ever since, has let the birds teli fatal." him the time.

To Gunther, the finest things he sow in Africa were tho The most cx- game reseTVCS. citing female dancing by the harem of El Glaoui, Pasha Selassie,

of Marrakesh. women--the Fulani of Northern The most beautiful Nigeria. The most diligent,

Africans the Nyasa,

mission schools.

aro:

Nkrumah his 40,000 miles tour of remarkable personalities modern "Mery Africa three years ago. One Africa has thrown up. Others

conclusion was: "Take all in all, British rule is the best.

The Emperor Halle over-worked dictator If I were an African, Ethiopia. would rather live in મ British territory than other."

I

"Zik"

Je

(Azikiwe),

leading

PRIVATE POINT....

To Gunther it is obvious that the most fascinathig und heartening part of Africa is the British West with its startling

of

of Nigeria and freedom from colour bar; ita reliable any demagogue

soccer fan. It is said that Zik. smart young Negro officers when asked what he would do the West African Frontier Force product of Scottish Presbyterian If told the British were going the proceedings of the Acera to leave Nigeria on October 1 Legislative Assembly where de replied, "Take the boat for

is on a high but Renial level

of England on September 30,"

AUSTERE

is

bate

FAST-MOVING

Sald a European in Rhodesia: "How many wives have You

"The Nyasa are the source of Koi?" asked one member, Mr all our woes--they are so in- Puku, of another, Mr Alta. "telligent and able." will tell you in private later." answered Mr Atta.

The local Hansard recorded "Laughter."

demurely

Gunther is no expert; is not even exceptionally well inform - ed. But he is Industrious, fast- fair-minded enough to moving. koop

an eye on his prejudices, sensible enough to borrow free- The retail ly from those who know.

After wandering for The adaptability u! the while in Gunther

to tabulate alternative nuchine

meanings and the possibility of

thousand-page jungle achieving a Iiterary quality in print, the reader will reagh the translation are now being a conclusion of his own? · investigated

The crust of African civili- Awolowo, rival of "Zık,” The Birkbeck Collere depart- ment of physles hus discovered a method by which beat-will

ulreadysation la mighty thin at the an austere intellectual. "If only Awolowo would relax and have it be strong

u glass of sherry with us some- ddons can be treated, devised enough to

support the timest" complained an English. simple set of

procedures weight of self-government man.

In Nigeria, to Gunther's sur whereby a French text can be

Jomo Kenyatta, prophet of prise, women dominate now being built rendered into acceptable Englishs

on it at Mau Mau, with his flamboyant trade. Everywhere they may be impressions he picks up of the machine. and varying speeds by bene clothes, his overwhelming by means of

ap- seen with their little overloaded passes on are vivid and anim-

trucks vented a method of searching volent and determined men? peal to Kikuyu women.

{"maminy wagons") sted. The which reduces the time needed

It looks like a gamble. If by the machine to locate any

so, the stake, do not forget, like word in a dictionary of 100,000 words from 17 minutes

મ is the lives and well-being quarter of a

served.

of millions of human Eventually the

J! is hoped to beings. Inake the machine "read" and take dictution.

An occasional trip home costs

there in the sudden cull of Hands

them nothing. After all, when

Wanted for a ship sailing East of Suez, they can always sign

on.

QUEER

STREET

The man who plods to work building site may

on

not be the Inzy fellow music hall jokes imply. Not if he in running E one-man business, anyway.

US

WITCH DOCTOR

BOY BISHOP For the first

In Nigeria African nationalism has reached the stage when I ENTHRONE me a "buy

bishop" has been percent of the people are lil- has taken over government; yet terate. White people can go any- where; it is the Africans who What of? Canni- are scared. bellsm. Last known case uf

cannibal.sm, 1048.

Cold gurus published last week reveal that builders Enthroned at Convey Island heeded Britain's bankruptcy list Ex He W+2 12-year-old for

233 Antony David Phillips, 1054. There were

The service, at St. Katherine's failures in the trade that year.

Then come farmers and stock Parish Church, was partly con-

ducted by

The "boy chiktren. Fishop" had

and chaplain

bishop's TOUCH, specially

refrena with 121;

company and directors, 84;

promoters

In some local bulchern' shops

hotel-keepers and publicans, four boy attendants. He wore customers will not buy the meat

70; grocera, €5 (the publle im- agines

business).

Curiously.

whose

taitors, clients are allegedly slow to pay stowed only 20 bankruptcies.

B Nor did gerage

and Service stution proprietors have to do much chasing after absconding debtors. There were only 33 fullures.

พ.ร

in

There are European

Str

crust

and

of African outstanding painted with slogans like "God civilisation may be thin; Gunther servants of Africa is good" or "We believe in the skoles on 1 with beguiling

Edward Twining. United Africa Company."

vivacity.

THE SURgeon of THE HUMAN HEART

W

By NANCY SPAIN

HAT un úmbar- Like thousende of otre his poemas published under the

rassment to

I have

Graham

all is Graham haunted by

barrassment of all.

grown up itle "Babbling April” when he

Greene's was up at Oxford

of

us people

novels.

So far, so good. Just like Greene.

any other bright young man. With a fascinating sense His they sll do a roaring for him, and carried amite unless a piece of animal hide is

attached to it,

novel, THE new The Rev.

I read "Brighton Rock" But then, at the age of David G. Cullen,

QUIET AMERICAN Vicar of

the Canvey

under In Lagos

elderdown at 19, for a joke, he joined the 16-year-old boy, (Heinemann, sild, "The

138. 6d.), is Roedean, back to 1282,

of boy bishops custom

puzzled goes told at school that Juju

"The Communist Party. He paid out but today

nonsense, hears drumbeats g.ing to be the greatest em- WRNS, and finally succumb- got a little green card. And oh,

Power and the Glory" It la

the 2s. in Od weekly Instalments, only

observed in three or four this suburb one night and silpped

out into the street in time

Third what on embarrassment this parts of the country. Much re-

into finding

see his father, dressed as a juju search went

man, leading a procession about the ceremony."

dancers. Antony, wh is the Brat "boy bishop" of Canvey, will COT!- tinue in office unui December 28 and will conduct the services of St Nicholas' Guild each Sun- day afternoon. St Nicholas ja the patron saint of "boy bishops,"

In the first nine months of 1955 bankruptcies in all trades and professions totalled 1,637, nearly a hundred less than for the same period last year.

Since then Mr Butler's credit squeeze Is known to have hit

VIGNETTES OF LIFE

I DID ALL MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING IN THE SPRING BUT I GAVE 'EM ALL AWAY FOR BIRTHDAYS, SHOWERS, ETC.

ETC.?

"

DO YOU WANT

TO SURPRISE

ME THIS

CHRISTMAS ?*

كر

out

over

In

of

ed to the spell of "The Why?

Because master- Man." pieces quite often raske for What sort

a man is th exceedingly uncomfortable that he can so haunt a genera- reading.

was to everyone afterwards.

of

tion?

LA

For twice after this Greene was refused visas into - anti- » In the Gold Coast, the colony

Communist countries. And this next door, the dynamle figure la

He was born In 1904. and In spite of the fact that anne Nkrumah. bachelor

And unless I am very much educated at Berkhamsted, where of his books aro banned politician {"Every woman in the Gold mistaken "The Quiet American" his father was head master. He Russia... Coast is my bride") known as is as near

masterpiece as could read when he was three "Show boy" not because he anything else I have ever read (but kept it secret), he had his boasts but because he is proud- in the last 20 years.

Brst story published at 15, suw

Shop Early

"HOW MUCH

1600

IS THIS

SURPRISE

GOING

ΤΟ

COST

ME?

YOU CAN BE A BIG HELP IF YOU BUY YOUR OWN PRESENT

AND CHARGE IT, OF COURSE.

Www

COPR. ITS BY GENERAL FEATURES

CORP. TM-WORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.

WELL, YOU CAN LEAD HIM "TO IT AND/

KEEP ON HOPING •

12-11

WHAT IF YOU CAN'T BLOW YOUR NOSE ? CHRISTMAS. COMES BUT ONCE A

YEAR DOESNT IT?

ROBOT

BY

HARRY

WEINERT

GAMES

HERE'S KOPING JUNIOR WILL'USTEN TO REASON AND BE SATISFIED WITH

SOMETHING SIMPLE.

'WE LIVE IN HOPE - THAT THE SUIT. WILL HANG. TOGETHER FOR

A FEW MORE MONTHS.

"HAVE YOU HEARD IF ANYONE IS GIVING US-A RUG THIS CHRISTMAS-OR DO WE HAVE TO BUY SIT OURSELVES

THREE

A CATHOLIC

after years

this childish prank he joined the Church of Rome. He got a job on the Nottingham Journal; he ́· got a job on the Times.

He wrote a best-seller, "The Man Within,” taking his title from

Thomas Browne's

JIS

"Religio Mediel": "There's an- : other mon within that's angry with me."

How right. For Greene's Dngry conscience will not let him even leave his Church - in peace. (Remember how ho nagged the Church when it rew.. fused novelist Colette a Catholle funeral In 19547)

He has a collection of moro than 78 different kinde of whisky. He has been sued for libel by Shirley Temple. “He' once wrote a parody of himself that won a guinea in a New Statesman competition.

And in 1053 I was told by the charming and long-suffering Monsignor in charge of vetting books for the Catholic Index of Banned Books that he bad been mildly. embarrassed by "The Heart of the Matter" and "The End of the Affair-novels that both question important points of Roman Catholic dogma.

THE BOOK

«TUE QUIET AMERICAN" IS "Quan Ang

дет- paperman called Fowler, who is: living in Salgon in time of civil " wae, with a beautifuz Aziatio girl

T

A quiet American called Pylo, comes out to Saigon with the American Economic Aid Mission. Pyle has read a lot of books about the Best, and he sides with General. The in the war. This means that Pyle puta a booby trap in the market-placo and kille a lot of Innocent people. Bo Pyle, has bo murdered, before ha murders anyone else.

to

But not before he has COM=" plicated the purity of Fowler's motives toward him. How does he do this? Well, he falls "In love with Fowler's Azlation girls and 'trks her to marry hm, 5 Bố: Fowler's girl goes to

lvo with instead

Moreover, worst all, out on the battledeld,

Pylq saves Fowler's life

course, this

not a happy

book. It is too much like.

for that. No doubt, too, this now book will start the ususi little crop of young writers, hopefully writing in the sunde of Greene,

Never mind. There are, things that to young be able to imitatu,

truthfulóan,

passion, and he