1955-12-21 — Page 4

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THE CHINA MAIL WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1955.

DON'T KID US YOU SOME GET SO

LIKE US, MR K!

W

A REVISED INVITATION TO ENGLAND IN THE SPRING

London

By GEORGE GALE

and example,

K did

ists always think we are your enemies, but that is untrue."

we are

AY back in the lovely summer, on

Is 11, Mr Krushchov? Surely Didn't your enemies. a July afternoon, Sir Anthony Eden Japanese. All these troops were ed. Plenty of people answering Krushchev, by a slap on

the The questions are being ask- we turn the Germans on you? We won't bo fooled, Mr told the House of Commons thrown out as a landlady throws with a resounding "No." that he had invited Marshal garbage out of her house,"

I think it's a pretty healthy the answer. But I think it is the Bulganin and Mr Krushchev

So far, apart from to come to England in the enough perhaps. But then Mr

inelegance of the language, talr wrong answer.

K⚫ spring.

Krushchev went on

The first Geneva

ference, the one

at

con.

had for Now these * precious

twins from the

Kremlin

RESPECTABLE

EARL LLOYD

GEORGE

your em-

the Paluco

the

DOWN WITH THE

ARISTOCRATS !!

who

YOUTH

AGE

back at a party at basky in Kensington Gardens in the spring.

We won't be fooled by nice speeches Marshal Bulganin "That was not enough

and you will make about peace- these gentlemen. They started

You are sure ful co-existence. the World War II, and went

the been all sweetness and light in to make them. Summit, had just ended, troops of Hitlerite Germany their speeches In India, I would We won't start thinking that and gentle, soothing winds against our country. The Soviet have been nervous.

you have suddenly become wore blowing

Union conquered and won." the

Had Mr Molotov made paper thoroughly nice

People world.

•K•

gestures to the West at the believe you can live on friendly autumn Geneva conference and terms ARLIER Marshal Bulganin maintained the warmth of the capitalists. You may very likely I do believe that we have re-

the West and summer Geneva I would have tell us that, but in your hearts duced tension by the Geneva sald the Germans should be shivered a little.

you believe that all you have to system to crumble for you do is walt for the capitalist inherit the earth.

across

Making all possible reserve, Fucked

соу

113

with ua bourgeois

•K•

to

conference." said Sir Anthony, left solve their own problem. Had the Foreign Ofoc spokes Everybody felt nice and relaxed. & Foreign Ministry spokesman man produced the Lual

Everyone was delighted 10 here promptly called the mar- nothings when asked

to. com learn that Russia's two principal shal's point of view "thoroughly ment on Marshal Buiganin leaders were coming here.

hypocritical."

would have had more than a Not very diplomatic language few doubts,

OME, by all means, Mr from the Foreign Office,

Not

Had the Kremlin halted very friendly

and Krushchev

Marshal Innguage from bomb

programme and Marshal Bulganis

not Bulganin. I don't suppose much and Mr exulted 80 blatantly in Krushchov. And this pair are power of its latest atomic explo- it can hardly do much harm, the good will come of the trip. But due to be entertained as our slon I would have said: "Keep

not now, not now you have told guests in the spring, ofter what them out. Fear the Russians us where you stand and what Dπ The second Geneva con- winter.

with looks like being a pretty chilly bearing gifts, Fear the Russians you think. And when you're ference. It grew chilly. the

when they speak sweetly

and here,

The House of Commons cheered and settled back with a comfortable grin on its face. So did we all. A lovely summer.

• K.

RUT muuma came

Dod

winds had teeth in them, the Should we cancel the visit? softly."

fog wus with us.

The West's Should

Do

Do we

we tell these loud-

want

de

don't mince your words. Don't kid us that you like us, But now we know where we Mr Krushchev. Just say

what Foreign Ministers talked week mouthed men that we do not stand. Mr Krushchev and Mar- you said in Bombay Lafter week with Mr Molotov, want them here?

shal Bulganin have been brutal-

"I do not like the capitalistic Russia's Foreign Minister.

"thoroughly frank, We know what they system, but I recognise its And at the end of it, when it hypocrite" being wined and think of us. We won't be taken facto existence. Neither we came to the point, Rusala could dined at Buckingham Palace? in when Mr Krushchev tells us, nor the capitalist States want not agree with the West nhout

Do we want the free vodka of like he told a journalist: "We to make a trip Marewards." Germany, about disarmament, Mr Krushchev, who Bald we have only the best feelings "for Say that, Mr Krushchev. Say about casier trade and cultural turned Hitler's thugs on Russia? England. You foreign journal- it over and over again. relations with each other.

After the first Genova con- ference we were left with Our heads

in intoxicating Summit

nit

After the Second conference we landed

bump on the ground.

WE

had

•K•

Geneva with

were back where we

started, only now we also hangover. Back wlth

this uncomfortable tension, the Iron Curtain, the cold wor

"peaceful

Back to wondering whether the glamorous phrase co-existence" isn't becoming two more dirty words like "fellow traveller," and "peace."

And then Marshal Bulganin und Mr Krushchev went 10 Tudia,

where they have been having

time getting decorated with

garlands flowers, crowing about their latest and most enormous bomb, and shooting off more than low mouthfuls about the wickedness of the West.

fine a

D

Hark at Mr Krushchev, stand- ing Immaculate on the lawns of West India Turf Club in

the

State was founded," he sald, "the

English came to our country, the French landed, the Americans followed the English

Nathaniel Gubbins Nathaniel

"B

Y

here

For

arrangement I go further and say don't down with fowl pest, There- with the Post wait for the spring. Invite them fore the survivors will be dear. Office it may soon

10 Cristanos.

with a brave, resigned smile be possible for anybody to hydrogen bombs and cold' wars,

after all, what with she cuts turkey out of her menu. The moment she decides to dial DOC for medicat ad. We haven't had much run slice settle for Youst pack the

vice if doctors make plans to receive calls at a central point."-From the news.

"It's me again, doctor." "Who's me?”

that other crazy, mixed-up kid, Hitler, made his exit from the low comedy stage.

During the war I wanted Hit- ler Christmas. I wanted him

3.9

FOT

come into the game.

Irish

Millions of Irish turkeys will flood the market, making them cheap enough for old-age pen aloners to have one each. The

a funny uncle at a party housewife cancels her order for "Well, I rang you up yester eating carpets tu umuse the pork and dreams happily of day...”

children. I also wanted to see turkey again

"What about?"

"Well, about me heart, me stomach, me legs, me chest, and me back."

him in pantomime as the wicked But her dream lasts only а uncle.

day a two. She wakes up to

Funny Uncles Krushský and the news that Irish turkeys are Bulgy are just as amusing as going to be dearer even than "What's wrong with them?" dear old Schickigruber, parti- English turkeys. "Well, me heart goes thump, cularly when they talk about Right up Bombay. "When the Soviet thump,

to Christmas ma thump.

history. They could name their game goes on. One day turkeys "You"

own price for an appearance on are going to be 51. a pound, The "And me stomach goes growl, any stage anywhere in England. next day growl, growl."

of a consignment they care to take my advice frozen turkeys from Poland or "Goes what?"

they would do their best in Finland or Lapland ta

going pantomime. Who would draw to make them 45. 6d, a pound, olgger audiences than Uncle "And me

Then the English survivors of wobble, Krushsky and Uncle Bulgy as fowl pest get influenza, or whole wobble, wobble. And I feel as if the robbers in "The Babes the Town Hall was sitting on me the Wood" or as the

in flocks are wiped out by beri- broker chest."

Tiger

WEWERIES LTD

GOLD MEDAL Championship

BEER

1052

Legat Borrian Brem COMPETTICO

"It growls like a dog."

see."

lega go

"What's sitting 07 your chest?

men in "Cinderella”?

"The Town Holl." "Really?"

"And as for me back. Ooh." "What?"

or Bright's disease, and the price soars to 65.

a

On the morning before Christ- mns Eve the now hysterical As pantomimme humour is housewife is asked 7a. Od. notorious 10T its simplicity Lound for a turkey that might Uncle K and Uncle B. would

have died of measles for all sho only have to bounce on tho knows. stage and Bay "Here we በኢዮጵያ When she finally refuses to cgainsky" to set little boys roll- have anything to do with tur ing in their scats and choking keys she will probably read in over their toffee.

her evening paper that a glut Television and sound radio of unsold turkeys were almost would be wide open to them. Any radio comedian would wei- given away at Smithfield."

them gladly as guest artists. They could also bo DU "Of course, me husband, give characters in the Goon Show so IL a rub."

"I said 'Ooh.' But It's only

when I bend down,”

"Your back goes 'Ooh' when you bend down?"

"No. 1

480 'Ooh "

"I see."

"Did you say your husband's in the "NO,

pub I said he give it a rub. Mr Feastake says I'm wonder ful.

"Who says you're wonderful? "Mr Peasiake."

come

long

as the announcer mado it clear they were taking part. Otherwise they would be indis- tinguishable from the usual characters.

Aa-for me, why, I would just love to have them at home for Christmas. It would be quite a happy party if I didn't get too aggresive after a couple of

"Who's Mr Cheesecake?" "Mr Peaslake. Ho's the groces and ever so kind. I felt so bad vodicas.

In his shop that I had to sit "What was that you said

down. And he give me a cup of about our history before 1000,

[World Copyright.]

DOWN

WITH

PRIVILEGE

YOUTH

LOWER

THAN

VERMİN

AGE

ERMINE!

YOUTH

AGE ?

BORN IN

BLENHEIM PALACE

YOUTH

PLAIN SIR WINSTON

'Loo' Lova luck!

BIG NAMES GATHER AT WORLD'S SMARTEST BAR

EVERY "I said Uncle Nat, that you

tea and he said I think you're Uncle Krushsky" wonderful the way you carry

“And what were the Russians

By A HENRY THODY A

Rome who give the law its far-standard, should WERY night is a memor. oppfarungs. The jent led, down, mysterful A ther Mrs Cen writs or alender fingers on Wasting. Rome's pets from their dainty pars,i més “a myfaving

Hotel, are enough to put te shame dan dinner party in my Names glith fingretņu glan home pm Friday,

chandelier” ovirkende

on with half your inside out were not civilised before 1080" studded bar, of and everything. He said it's your spirit that keeps

house?"

come."

λ

who

you going, doing before 1000, Uncle Krush elegant Excelsior that's what it is. can hear bells sky? Walking upright, or on all where the Big finging all over the house, too. fourst?

gather. You have smells all over the

Housewife's choice They say all roads lead to You have no idea who your I do not ask, How do I get

****..............................

neighbours the bar may be there? For many of the": Rome. Well, for the star any evening you go there, but it customers in the world's richest BRUTAL Zano which has dusted, the rich-as-Midas is possible ex-King Farouk will bar have plang season, tickets, or And I'm always feeling A not yet been listed among or the celebrities born to be there drinking. his usually the Atlantic in their own the cruel, sports of the kindly Fame, all roads certainly ble handrome rol, #1yan Me, I'm just a journalist and

straight orange juice, and it is aircraft.

NO. ringing in me cars. They go

Bells. They're __always

ding, dong, ding, dong, ding,

„Mays feel sick, do English-in!'

the annual pro- seem to lead to Rome's will be present. I he is in town. I know I'm walking in a dream Christmas baiting of that long Excelsior.

of suffering domestic ahimal, the

British housewife

I can't look at a plate o chipe

well,

THEM

don't look at them."

DON'T

"Don't look at what?' "CHIPS

More than a hotel, it is a de is about this time of

Inter year that the late luxe, air-conditioned

la deliberately national rendezvous.

the price of

about

world when I drop in for

drink Giovanni's gold-plated, Persian-carpeted

freshment at the Excelsior,

Keeping such company You may also see lovs) By 8.30 every evening, ever

Mara expensive hobby far Who Is correspondent, of cour going to be the most august feel the urge Lane, the British

to take a champagne oockball or now a fully-fedgod star in Italian the choap other costly posion to stimulate movies, TEENS means, doing a lot of mental dinner arlimetk behind her worried their wants Impeccably, mixing

ready to attend frown and counting madly on the dring behind his merbla ing the equal in beajrty: öf ány - her work worn angere plans a topped bar, i Glovanje dve screen travelclieg lavish Christmas, dinnerd vert

plentiful frither cfare keymited tisWappetite & bekorea latest in recutity nights I. Hava;;emes : for

Yee Well I'll give you a Son the housewife of i ring tomorrow.!

Cluren Borays of Ferlin floo

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