1955-11-23 — Page 4

Page: 1

THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER, 24, 1955.

NATHANIEI GUBBINS

T

As a useful and Indispensable violently

İna ou: roun, is re- quest phall be granted.

HE news that 68-year-

old Homer A. Tomlin- ubject son, already "King of Amorica" and leader of

Silencers for dogs

from loft to right; but the always kept her seat and good temper, shaking her had over my gloomy appearance and what she called my "twenty- past-eight mouth,"

New York sect, has now

The Fairy Wishful Thinking crowned himself King vf

know every

platitudo in the cardboard IT has also come to our august language. Her opinton was tho England with a

little

nolive that our scientists and opinion of the last newspaper crown has brought a

*** concerned at the she had rend

Kre galety into a rather dreary effect of anise on the health of week.

our distructed proph.

In fact, 1 people should selves long or can't have real

to

Although our scientists ᎥᎪᎱ #14020 think

engaged in the suppression of crown them-

caused by jet aireraft fya nothing is being done by our queen

make It 100 many in a absurd legislators

bernuse pulsy to fit silencers to the dem crazy)

exhaust, of dor-blycles and there are so many of us who their horrid little brothers, the

10 how know country.

t all 11 Although enough to do that I woukl like

2

the buzz-bikes

She muciled strongly of cheap perfume, WAH practical and sensible and va English as a # very plilar-bux.

rure thing among fairies who, I believe, nre usually of Celtic origin.

Old folks at home

You might have thought the old people in Britain suffer We Livrefore devree that all

Enough. such silenceTS shall be Attes

They are not allowed to warn forthwith, and that furthyranny

shall be fitted to all than £2 a week without stimeer

Forfeiting part of their retire- menal pension.

to try my hand at being trang barking dogs by that owners for a Mille while

So for the next low minute you may Resume Cat we have

The

imprisonment. Signed,

111

Nathaniel R

Mowered urself King Nut Talks with a fairy

Great Britain und Northern

tul

ent

Alastair Alpin MacireKT when to a newspaper Asking at any Fracker waldi vart

Our Dominions keland and

cardboard Overseas, crown i on on heud, that vur power in absolute, and we hereby issue our deerees, to be observed a on pain of immo abonnent by bedoved subjects.

Our royal pleasure

WE Bist deerve that our mit-

Wed subject, in wit

Mi Budsucker, the ingre=fax collector. Shill forthwith cease Les peste us with tomma we do

and understand and for we cannot alfnd to probably by not owe

C

submit on authentic account living

SPOLJ 13 been awvory the presence of a fairy He words all details, melud-

いち de alion clothing 'ར་ LtL

I am of the few people in who has been on peaking terms with one of the Fattle People

The votanda y

The demand for higher wages

eval

mines will mean that they soon won't be able to kvep themselves warin In the fod prices mean

winler

that they won't even be able to keep they miskdes warm.

Now the brutal

people young Eimontes have written to the a-king him have pudding and mincement out of the old folk's Christmas parcels because this food stor heavy for anybe ly over 70,"

may's

mingement and

The vices of 1,306 a fun! Edmonton quavered barle "We're strong to take Christmas pud, and plenty of it “ fu: thu hendish plot to make declang years miserable has been revealed by a spokes-

East Dulwich

Fart

St Francis Hospital,

Sha Was The Fury Wishful haunted 1375* Thinking, wher

At a cost of £250 ancient out- She wa during the lost war

patieple there are to be given with a "- about 3m Lall

a rules of gymnastics "to keep Al- theless futabl

figure

then the and active and out though

her 10

of bed." irements I would say they were, roughly, bust in, waist

in, and hijas tin.

and

We further drove that should! he ignore our royal comunand he be cast into prison during

Jong Ume and

1

Liftle

+?[

He a hair was bracsy

Even patiente

I this means

means some

WOIT, "discharged will be followed up.

what 1 think it kind of physical blonde, darker at the meth and jerks instructor will call at their mur yel pivasure, which will be along the parting, which mig- hone

Kill/ the use of peroxide

"Wake up, Mrs Gumpton, On wash.

the 'ands down. Arms bend M MacGregor

"But I was so warm in bed," tereptod to know, that she never sasible. wartime clothes, miniature slacks Sictură. woollen Jer

for a damn Kiral pleasure to us

As it has one to our notice that the deserving me being knighted and ennobled to such in exital that it has now be

11

hemont

worn

gyrsimet,

may

be

in-

ck

LADY OF THE LAKE

AGENDA Mom t. trial surve plue all the brandicap's

"IT'S A FAKE.

SHE HASN'T BEEN HIT ON THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER

World Copyright by arrangement with the Manchester Quardian

Want a New Kick Out of Living? Then-

LIE DOWN AND

T

HE voice said seorn- fully, "civilisation is just a pain in the the neck." Then owner of the voice did what felt like a handstand on my shoulder blades, and I begun to understand...

R-E-L-A-X

By Mary Hampson

with nervour, tension,

en- one.

with

The Lady In The Tower

By ANNA LANDAU

F course I have no garden here," said Mrs Sitwell, adding casually, "but I grow my bulbs in the dungeons."

www.www

The dungeons

are down- qtairs as one would expect. But Mrs Sitwell Lives where one would not expect above Traitors' Gate in the Tower of London. From her kitchen window Mrs Sitwell has a fine view of the Bloody Tower. She can also keep an eye on the precious ob- Jeots housed in the Wakefield Towar.

The objects are the Crowea Jowels, and her husband, Major-

Generol Hervey Deggo Wilmot Sitwell, te the Keeper Jewel House. "I'm really

of thê

sort

says.

"The chap who gota hanged IL

anything goes wrong."

of nightwatchman," he

TWIN TURRETS

The Sitwells have a flat in St. Thomas'a Tower, a building with

Ita a split personality, twin turrets are connected by n long bridge which forms the spine of the fat. Mr Silwell's dressing-table sits prettily in

one of the turrets, on the spot where Sir Walter Raleigh Is

supposed to have been married

to

Elizabeth Throgmorton.

With to 13th century vault ing the

so much the place looks like a film-set for a medieval

Merrie England that only the sight of the thick stone walls and the river outside brings one back to the reality of the Tower. But the crusty atmosphere hangs over the other rooms, too, Heads of moose and deer gazo on the dining-room table. down A tiger skin ("Shot it in India. the hard128," says the general) stretches limply over the hall floor. The furniture, the Bitwells own, is solid, antique, lúko the roundings.

flat on the dressing-room floor. That's what

I was doing this the show

tɗternoon began. I

before learnt it

I

Unco way, maybe, becauso couldn't afford a beautiful sofi bed. Now I can better afford it and I don't want it!"

One

Neither

in you

had

A

woman in ten will tell thai she can relax best at hairdressers, the

10 that. to have the hair

the hair

unrelaxed, I was locked! "There's nothing wrong with They just don't Apparently my back muscles them at all.

know how to relox.. did everything except twang did I. I not only had a pais

the epic. I thought I "Nothing like exercise to keep For at least ten minutes

} gather I'm not the only broken back as well after her soothing brushed. I you warm, Mrs Gumpion. And I'd been resisting all

first onslaught; then suddenly

"Maybe," Enid Raymond Lake that smile off your face." treaties to relax. Apparent.

When she wasn't lashing out began to see what she meant. "That wasn't a smire, It was

rabbi: punches for my "Look at

said my nonchalantly, and that's a cat,' 1 041 be Sometum there was a Bitte un

ly didn't know how. Ewinge of me rheumatics."

own good, the musseuse com- masseuse, doodling on

on my spine only good brushing the how used, we besets de thai hat on her hend

The £250 would have been

plained bitterly about the num- so heartily I thought she must will do. Now if I want to relax, self-strk15. pirater AS TEMURlly slung on

better spent on coal for the frv. I'd never had a massage ber of people who think

I get one of my delightful as- they be wearing knuckle-dusters. who "know her shoulder

the have Theumatism, brosis, "It knows how to relax. You're sistants to massage the back of She also carted a doll's hand meal, and Christmas pud. in my life before, and shall never

muscles.. puy in if financially and my neck." masseuse was fascinated to neuritis and sprained

back. sigars pass the Honours List bag and was alway- during as And plenty of R.

not to mention physically because you've -814953 further intot

discover that I wasn't just stiff necks.

forgotten!" hon tum

"Remind me to remind myself I get out of here again, i intact," I groaned.

the condit

shupand aul test

Had those De pla

A tiny res-

be he ridiculars httle pose with a abreink, grubby porwder puff.

x

011

The fairy wand appear in my work

without Warning! We have noted with interest usually sitting cross-lugged

the-grapes th 1

the carriage of my typewriter an irritating per- 11.1 demandte As she had

11

ge of un

Li

and at 2300

that as reas of his calling should sonality, always looking on

the

Domed w2th the title bright side," I tried to throw her

Readka coping

KM ter

off

banging by

the carringto

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RUSSIA'S

R

in the

LONG-TERM WELL-BEING

AIMS IN INDIA

By

James Wickenden

ю

Reluctantly, I let that charm- ing picture fade, and asked the celebrated artist, Simon Elwes, who has painted more beautiful women than he can count

Ony a man who was really polaxed could tell you in one breath that he was just enjoy- ing a magnificent dinner when the telephone rang, and say in

THUMB-SCREWS

***

the

But keeping house in Tower is disappointingly prosaic. There are no ghosts and dome- sile arrangements are the same as everywhere else. Thepe la no central heating, but oft stoves and electric fires help to keep what the Sitwells London's mark.

out

up

And the dungeons make for a lot. Though, as dungeons, very disappointing.

cells

they prove alry, with coal

Bright, where

the

were, wine- bottles instead of thumb-screws, and, of course,

the bulbs. General Sitwell was leading the way, when I it A flagstone which looked as if it moss-covered steps 1797

the dank underworld

The general smiled. "That's just the No gas and electricity mains, oubliettes, if that's what you're thinking."

But the truth was, that after the next breath that the inter-must swing back and reveal the half an hour I began to feel a rupion didn't count! most unaccustomed senso of "My models relax by talking conversation, they well-being. The world

to me. In was a better pince, and I was so re- forget that the pose is difficult faxed I wam't safe!

to hold, and I forget the dif

of painting them. you went Any

further culties evidence,"

Simple" sald the MESTEUSE, following up her advantage, "just Lady Munnings, ignoring the any chemist's shop, noises off from Sir Alfred, told are fundamental differ and the recent Dell trade fair look USSIA has long had there

relax me that she could You can London coun- showed that

nat There's the evidence. ka

Just stay the great aim of win- caces between the two

un your time, anywhere: " trics".

making much effort to advertise buy pills to spoed ning India into the

herself there.

mental processes, and pills to guie: for a moment, and wait

for the peace of God." calm them down. But in the foreground is the MYou have to have a pre-

coria

to more serious rise of anti-British scription be soothed, 31-

| Communist orbit. The visit What then are the dangers?

of Bulganin and Krushchev

to Delhi is

Nehru

material- con-

titude are

will

In

She is, and

about.

any

5.

140

Even

PEGEANTRY

50,

the five Sitwell grandchildren, aged from two to to 14, "simply adore coming

stay,"

But fo against this book- ground of permanent pageantry has one grave drawback. "YOU are subject to being shut up, or lociced out," explained the general.

"Every night at ten o'clock there is the Ceremony of the Keys, when all the gates aro locked. After that you've to give the password. I sup- in after could pase you

get twe've never tried it myself."

The tourists-000,000 last year could be a nuisance. Mrs Sit well often basito, ac if she might be allowed up her front

And it's

a

noisy

to each other" on the river. At the entries march-up and

"But

I like

There are three: la Nehru the latest of himself; in the deteriorating feeling in India which couraged, rejuvenated, cheered. TO A CHILD Moscow's moves to this end. British-Indian relations; and in has grown with the Gon cam-You can't cope with civilisation.

the Hindu and separatist move- paign. British newspaper cut-I've told you-lt just gives you Novelist Denise Robins, who The way has been pre- men's within India.

tings criticising the Indian ata pain in the nock. And don't has hundreds of books to prove by pared

two events:

you have a spare how busy circulated in Delhi forget, when bolds

reins e the Nehru's visit to Russia and of power

offices to inflame staffs. British moment, just take another look wrinkles to make it seem hard strongly enough for

Journalists have been almost at the cat.'

work, BAYS

sho has two wayn and the deliberate sacrifice him to risk the experiment of

critics. hounded by

I began to wonder just how to relix: One is my dog. Russion of the Communist Party of marrying

"I defy

remain anyone to Ism with

of this campaign has many people know how to relax, Little Engish

they'ro India by Moscow in the titutionalism.

tense it of and if they knew, I wondered worried and washed back to the shores He wants Rus-

wee wear them did it.

being

trolled by a gay little crucial Andhra state elec- sian power stations because he England, and little notice

been taken in Parlament yet tion's last summer.

that Somerset creature that's wagging its tall. He was is en avowed reformer.

remembered

once described how But although perhaps a passing Maugham

"Just walking with it and by Russian pro- Closer relations between India so impressed

phase of unreasoning passion, it he relaxed and made his mind and Russe have thus been made duelivity during his visit that

leave a mark the kind receptive by sitting in a darken- watching is enough so you possible. They were stimulated he thinks they can deliver one

a condio

The other relaxation is steps. things. and on botter terms than those offer of small cloud the Russians willed room gazing at by the "Geneva spirit",

flame Indian fakirs reach the | India's view that the Com-ed by the West. He is optimis. be expert at inflating.

samo state by sitting cross-legged given me by my grandchildren, piace to live. The tugs "talle

With then, I can become munist-Egyptian arms deal was the by nature and balleves he can

with their eyes rolled into the child again, and be as engrossed play with the Russians without in the "spirit of neutralism".

back of their heads and drifting as they are in the mysteries of being burnt,

off into a reviving trance.

ships and toy motor. But the law in his policy may

The Chiness sages used to

motor General

"I feel. I'm lik be to underestimate the Russian Finally, there is the growing soothe and refresh the mind by

g soldier General Eliwell visits the throughout India.

Shelagh Doughty, Wilmslow The visit of the top Russians wiles and to overestimate his restiveness

their fingers enjoy the His not in itself-expected to continuing 'grip on India.

Hundreds of different move-

orab girl who is invading the strong Jewel House fairly frequently carved jade produce startling resulta. I can' For the Russians may well ments, religious, political, racial, monts they held in their hands, hold of the London modelling From time to time he and the almost be guaranteed that there believe it will pay to launch a linguistle and cultural,

Crown Jeweller decide that the to learn Great mystics have described world, has been forced to Will

Jewels need cleaning, but the be no revelations of a secret realistic "GIN War' In India as raising their own banners in the

calm to be how to relax, exquisite well as the Middle East, pact or of an arms deal.

The name of multitudes of Ideals. tho

"A phototograph isn't' kind to security arrangements are kept repeating reached:

through one-language will essence of this is to buy good- Some are for The predictable pattern

a strained and anxious face. You secret. The Queen occasionally endicesly the sacred syllables...

have to relax if you want, to sends for one of her crowns, and be that "India has done every- will by handing over material states, others for land reform,

then the responsibility passeE, thing

work. I do what every other in her

wer to honour two and plant at knock-down prices: power

model probably does--wear any

to the Dean of West- distinguished visitors," Then, scrupulously to avoid planting the fortress-like, rod pover- CROSS-LEGGED after a few weeks, Indian papers

ers agents for as long as ten years.

casual clothes off duty comfort- able shoes, and and radio can be expected to then infiltrate.

put my feet

THE VALUE? up whenever I get the chance.

"It's relaxing just to home in the evening and wash What are the Crown Jowala off the heavy make-up we have worth? "7 have no idea whatto- ever" says their: Korpor." "Any wear, and bath

shot at Jamos - Laver, who knows she the value is pune finition from bottler, angle-te guess, historian's--as his cum in 20,000,000, though their value of the fallible way to relax: Just the as the traditional odd minute or

or two

How

Hedge, There will be qualifica- tions that "nevertheless Nehru was careful to point out

$5.

1955 GILES ANNUAL

that

stock will be limited.

Bookings.accepted at

H CHINA MORNING POST LTD, HONG KONG,&* KOWLOON

dre

lotting te

And above nectarianism, from ment buildings in Delhi, come p the edicts and pleas and pro-

Maybe, I thought, but you mises for the waxe Five Year

can't alt croulegged on a con- for the track walling to see the light .is. astrup fo By the time the Russians re- soul of India da ideological There must be a less obtrusive lease propaganda "teams from contest which runs deep;

There must be way to relax. 2nd

way than their

"wooden horses," (the will last long. The question yet 4 expensiv power plants), Nehru. "may" bo

paying a massDURO, unanswered is where the woul on the way out from power of India les. In the politicians?

I. asked coo or two mon and There is as yet no one in sight

sort of

20

with his slature to replace him. The proes and intellectuals? The one who load tho is

By then also, the senior ranks Hindu extremists? The posts? relict. People in show business, of Indian political lio will be - Those who go to India, to and like Olive' Gilbert' hridoy with : changed. Those with a British the centre of thought, liberal outlook, trained in the baffled for in none of these Nichols,

lovels can it be truly suid ta old. Indian Civil Service, will have gone, odEREN

the dynamism (“/comés vistien KEJOVIALE the last ten years, an

there by bben kil

today far, Tównej - dife

Information, gueviou

ray

One beautiful girl, who pro- Artists they are polen fare to be nameless, told me she apart, but they relax the same lood on her bead, way—by lying flat on, this floort": If you

ou think that a far too Joy, who is pulling to punches drastic, try a gator of patience,

*Pajamak

over

minster.

Some:

!

wherever his war service took. him, there was inmediately raid Newcastle, Bristo tho Coventry blitz-ONE

But there ham't been comentua xaid Core how t

House since: Colonel. Blood/g

Kai, hoping that shiach