1955-08-13 — Page 14

POCKET CARTOON by OSBERT LANCASTER

we

ПИС

"Willy, darling, if 1 under- stood Mr. Butler correctly, from now 011 try very hard to owe the tradesmen more and the bank less."

PARADE

PEEPSHOW People

Denham,

THE CHINA MAIL,

A

SATURDY, AUGUST 18, 1956,

00000000000

COLUMN OF THE UNUSUAL ABOUT PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THING'S

ot A customer had shown, the Eng. pub owner the little match-box- sized cinema which showed, at the mere pressing of a trigger, a parade of 18 eye-catching 'lovelies.

WINDFALL land, are proud of their 700-year-old church, to rector of St Mary's when tho appealed for a cool £10,000 to save it from the death-watch beetle, everybody started paying up,

some

The campaign started well, flagged for

Umo-then suddenly spurted ahead again.

The Rev. John E. Simpton,

Fu

rector of the Buckinghamshire vlllnge,

was delighted-but it was only this week that discovered why the money was rolling in.

What he discovered was that the rush of cash was coming from Д What-the-Butier-Saw of semi-clothed peepshow beauties in threepence a peep.

locni

A British Crossword Puzzle

3 14

18

19

ED

12

13

14

IS

16

·17

19

126

ACROSS

3 Precious stories (8).

Pald (8).

8 Fur (6).

11 Raider (6).

12 Grant (4).

13 Exclude (5)..

18 Put off (5)

10 Engrave (4).

22 Cowards (B).

24 R. C. prelate (8),

25 Diminish (0).

26 Ingredients (8).

was

He was right.

But this week the source of the revenue became too widely known, and the publican de- clared: "I can do it no longer."

And the reator said: "I don' know what the butler saw and compinints. The landlord is a very decent and sincere fellow."

I have ነገር

are

•

GODERICHSTASIE

...

back And tell in love with a fellow called Frederick Pracht, but it cooled off, and When Frederick started going out with Leny.

-1

But then Leny and Aad' be- came friends, and visited cath other's homes. Strangely, And's

Lany's mother to Aad. mother felt drawn to Leny, and

Danger! I diagnose

a new epidemic.

I

LOVE à celebrity. I love a big name, a face I have seen on the telly: a millionaire, an actress, a bishop, a member of the Royal Family,

I like to go where they go, get up against them in buses, rub shoulders with them. I always hope (don't you?) that some of thelf lustre will rub off against me.

of

Nancy Spain on BOOKS

AMONG THE CASES TO REPORT: LADY B,

two concrete speedways to get rid of the jams and they want to build them through the nolds which zurround the colle ca.

Speedways

mol ob- roxious to the dons than So the publican reckoned this marmelade and motor cars ever be of pulling some were and they have let it one way new Hto late the rector's came known that they will lie down palgn-and getting rid of the in front of the bulldozers if the

plan ever goes through, death-watch beetle.

Then they started comparing. BATTLEFIELD_Any offers for All the van Vegions were daric

# battlefield?

-exocpt And, Act all had birth FOR SALE

Flodden Field,

on their hangis except near Brulee, Northumberland, martes

And. secne of the famous battle be-

All the van Duyne, except tween the English and the Scots Leny, were fair, And Leny had

I am a sufferer from one for in September 1818, is up

a. birthmark on her hand, sale.

Then they discovered that the the most ingrowing diseases of The 18-nere fleid is part of

Yes, I think pursuit of cele SIR BERNARD, PICKLES AND BUTLIN the 1.000-acre estate owned by two girls had been born at the modern times,

same hospital within a minute' Colonel James Collingwood, in of each other. And they also brity is a disease. People trot whose family it has been for

something awfully sad about go, thank goodness, we do found that co that day 18 other after it with albums, very many years,

babies were born at the hos-pursue it to its lair with tele happiness, isn't there?"

EDGAR LUSTGARTEN: for

"Happiness is what makes you HE SAW Case of a man who pitul-a good enough chance for phone calls, hoping

quote." So do I. a couple of them to get mixed, his own race

And then

the lion feel good." when HIMSELF W

before him for

In- It is the "house" the of the

turns, roaring out some hush-hushi Royal Aircraft

like to write seven

BIR MALCOLM SARGENT: years is related in the

coherent opinion, Establishment at Farnborough,

current issuc of the Britishi

it down. Maybe one day I shall Hants, Blue, with the R.A.E.'s Medical Journal. Through all

the turn it into a little book Or a "Why not spend your leisure oat of arms on it. coul

the years the vision persisted

desk calendar with a quote for time as I do? Working!"

SIR CAROL REED: "appl And 10

only undevintingly—alwnys sure

a metre

of consists each day of the year..

net in leisure genuine Farnborough scientists

in front of him.

contrast," Nor and backroom boys wear .

was that all. these precautions have been taken:

No

Bell shops will wearers will have to identify themselves with a security pass. No temporary staff can wear it. Ex-staff will be screened before they can get one.

HUSH-HUSH The Most Ex

clusive Tle in TIE

The World was announced last week with a soring of steurity regulations for wearing it.

make

1ts

The man

"X-

•

•

at nights

-

has

wouldn't

people

Hope spreaders

There is only one thing against this, really. books that Ket made like this are not good.

help

4

occasionally see a new face on the literary horizon. D'Arcy Niland, for example whose new DOVCI THE SHIRALEE (ANGUS and Robertson, 108, 6d.), tells the story of a rather unattrac

Ive swagman who longs to escape from the responsibility of his little daughter Buster, aged four and a half ... fu the end he finds he loves her after all.

"A chiralce," in case you! didn't know, is Australian for bundle or burden.

DOG'S LIFE The cats are now a dog's FOR CATS living

ture in wealthy suburban village of

For Westbury, Long Island. local ordinance requiring dogs tu be kept in had been completely blind for been extended to them. eight days when he began to Until recently, the cats had

DENISE ROBINS: "When nee his face. A tumour had been able to prowl around free-

The lie ever my children wanted brought about his

blindness. ly at night without running the

or advice they knew they could

This is a rather sickly story, risk of being chased up a tree Any normal person enn

come into my study and I wou'd perlence something of the kind by a dog to ensure that bark

I have Just Anished reading put aside my work to listen to well told in strong, basic Aus- obviously tralion. Mr Niland in circumstances of fatigue or ing and cat-chasing

one. It is by Mr Richard them."

"All knows his swagmen well, as in- PETER USTINOV: exhaustion, slates the Journai, disturb the residents.

who describes himself decided to Collier. but

hallucinations

But the council the momentary. Some doctors at- extend the curfew to include as "a happy man." It le called frouble in this life springs from deed he might, for in his time My Daddy he has been a potato digger, OF HAPPI three fatal words; might be THE SECRETS

opal miner, shearing shet roust- "animals which tribute them lo

NESS

side-show destructive or dangerous.

(The World's Work, 58.), says."

about, circus hand, ports of the brain.

boxer, and reporter. The law has made the job of and it contains discussions with THE CONS Back

In another case related a man

50 Buch scereale thirteenth century, at the age of 46 began to see village attorney OPPOSE

It will be when the dans himself "quite solid as if seen baum even harder.

to him to catch any cat truth and life and hope as Sir the man who is friendly with

everyone," 0 to bulld in a minor." The apparition up

Bernard. Decker.-

Lady Barnet,

ODETTE CHURCHILL: "If a university, they thought they was dressed exnetly as he was. that hewie at night, tracs

Peler Billy Butlin,

Ustinov, owner, and collect the fine.

in the middle friend rang me had found, a pretty good and accompanied him, every-

Dougias Fairbanks, Denise

the night with raging location in Oxford.

Robins, Wilfred Plekles. Bassle of

Sir toothache I should suffer with Braddock. Nigel Balchin,

Farnborough "Yes," suld

Just about the most ex- clusive tie in the world."

man.

20

22

123

first

25

DOWN

1 Considers (5).

2 Dapper (5),

3 Made certain of (7).

4 Beverage (4).

5 Bellow (4).

U Hang around (0).

Saturated (6).

10 Lawful (5).

14 Commenced (5),

15 Annoys

10 Snvo TRS!!!..

17 Scanty

20 Force open (5).

31 Employing (5).

22 Gambling Cube (4),

23 Sailor (4).

↑ Pirce.

Daydress CROSSWORD-ATION: 3 YESTERDAYH Fatalist. 10 Arises, 33 Remorse, 15 Ta-tu. 17 Entered, 10 Taverns, 20 Axes. 2 Tipples, 26 Grouse. 27 Gelatine, 28 Spied, 29 Timorous, own: 1 Spear, 2 Denim, 3 Defer, 4 Dear, & Editor, 6 Method. Asson, 11 lielax. 12 Soler, 14 Ensign, 15 Temp, 10 Denes, 18 Target, 19 Velium, 22 Prers, 24 Laurid, 24 Sredy, 23 Blis

started

the

were

too

Not far from the headwaters of the Thames, at the junction of the Cherwell and Isis, they had beauty and a site at the very crossroads of England. Last week, the dons just as re they'd done well.

Time wis when Oxford was a market town and a university Hown. Then camo a man who wanted to make narmaluce. He was followed, in 1912, Lord Numeld, who wanted make motor cars.

-and

by to

Now there are 107,000 men, women and children in Oxfoxxi 1css them 8,000 of them belong

to the university. Furthermore, road transport made the crossroads more than geographical centre. Nowadays Oxford is more famous among the populace for its two-hour its kema rame scholars,

thin for

And last week came the end. The authorities want to build

VIGNETTES OF LIFE

where.

irritation

arc

of

atl

ex-

# never said any- thing to him, or made any sign, but only repeated his actions, It had a

sad constantly pression.

Doctors who investigated the ease found that he was suffer- A "subarachnoid ing from

when he began haemorrhage"

The

sight of himself was an hallucination.

to see himself.

MIXED UP A BEAUTIES

•

Pretty Dutch blonde of The Hague called Aad van Vegien und brunette Leny van Duyn are asking themselves: were we mixed when we were the wrong born.and given to mothers?

And and Leny are certain a mistake was made--so are their parasts. But the doctors are nat

and they have taken finger- prints and blood tests to try to settle the 'matter.

This

is how Lny and Aad came to suport that they had Some time switched names,

Donald Boox-leih-century spreaders of

ARTIE'S-HEADLINE

"I think it's about time the curtain came down on THIS act!”

Wedding Belles

FACING THE WORLD TOGETHER - THE WORLD BEING THE LANDLORD, THE GROCER, THE BUTCHER, THE MILKMAN, THE ELECTRIC, GAS AND TELEPHONE COMPANIES

(NOT TO MENTION THE TAX COLLECTOR)

I KNEW HER

WHEN SHE

WAS ONLY

HIGH /

THAT

|6-12

THE CHARACTER WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP- ONE KISS FROM THE BRIDE AND HE KEEPS RIGHT ÖN KISSING-- BRIDESMAIDS, AUNTS, COUSINS AND A PERFECT STRANGER.

THE RING BEARER-

WHO SHOWS UP

WITH A COLD.

IS APT TO

REQUIRE THE ATTENTIONS OF A BRIDESMAID "THROUGHOUT":

THE CEREMONY,

ALL HE WANTS IS TO BEND HIS ELBOW

AND HE HAS TO LISTEN WHILE THE BRIDE'S RELATIVES BEND HIS EAR.

THE STEADY CUSTOMER SHE GETS A

- NEW MODEL EVERY YEAR OR SO

its

JOHN BETJEMAN:

Carol Reed, Sir Malcolm them."

Carol

Surgent.

These names certainly make

nows. (They always, always

"Avold

WILFRED PICKLES: "You'll do.) But this does not necas- never make friends by trying

that Barliy mcan

BILLY BUTLIN: "We get

the quote too hard." above the name is the double-

dyed distillation of wisdom. No. bored because things are made alas. For behold, when I rushed too easy." -

to take the advice on happiness! offered me by my idols,

what did 1 And? The things they say all cancel one another out. For example:

BIR BERNARD DOCKER: "Things are never so urgent as people think they are." LADY BARNETT:

The greatest mistake is that people always beileve there fa tomor- row."!!

thut awfully Aren't you in des-

- Now isn't muckling? pairt

sec,

He is handsome, thirtyish, and is married to Ruth Park, a inore famous purveyor of dank Aus- trallan action. They have five children: so when Niland writes: that one child is a burden he really knows what he means.

REST OF THE NEW BOOKS

LIVING IN THE "PRESENT. By John Wain. Socker and Warburg, 12s. 6d. 249 pages.

T

I am, I can tell you, For, you if I were to invite these glamor. I know perfectly well that

THE moment he decided to Edgar suicide, commit ous. persons to a party to discuss the subject they would probably began to live in the present." agree whole-heartedly with one Wain's first sentence, while slyly

what follow suggesting that another, and with me.

will not be too depressing, in- For one thing they all have in adequately prepares the reader common, don't you think? And for an entertaining light novel.

readiness all that is a DR SOPER: "We are

to give

Having decided that life as a writers to struggling really happiest when we don't quotes

is intoler- think about happiness at all." that amounts almost to a disease lited schoolmaster

able Edgar is driven by logic NOEL COWARD: "There's in itself.

-to resolve that suicide without murder is pointless. He knows so many people who would be better dead,

- CAN YOU

TELL ME Y

WHAT HE

EVER SAW

IN

HER?

BY HARRY WEINERT

A MARRIAGE NEEDS PLENTY OF

ADVANCE PUBLICITY IF IT'S,

TO BE A SUCCESS.

INNOCENT BYSITTERS.

ALONE AT LAST.

COP. LME BY GEMİRAL FEATURES. CORP, IMIWOKER NIGHTS RESERVED.

— WHAT DID

SHE EVER

SEE IN

~HIM ?

Duty demands that he remove the most objectionable of them. After thought he writes down a plan of campaign: "I, K Philipson-Smith. 2. Kill self, 3. Remember; stop milk."

Living in the present, Edgar falla to carry out his programme (while punishing the odious neo-Fascist Philipson-Smith) and becomes reconciled to life. The story is developed through bilarious incidents to a climax that falls only a little short of.. expectations.

MAIGRET AND THE YOUNG GIRL. By Simenon; Hamish Hamilton. 94. 6d. 160 pages,

THE illo

warms the heart' He is back! Secretive, xumi- native, stealing the limelight drom Detective-sergeant Lognon, Malgrat follows from: clue to clue the story of the murdered girl in the Place Vintimile, that seedy Htilo square in Mont- martre.

It is, of course, far more com- plex

than ordinary_policemen would have guessed. They might. not even have noticed the thin chain wound round Louiso's it did not wrist. Naturally, Escape Maigret's eye. THE DAY OF THE MONKEY. By: David: Karp, “Gollancz. 15%, 383 pages.

WHEN a. nationalist., uprising -

W breaks out in the colony of

an' unnamed. empire the Gover nor, Lysander Pellman, is put to a double test, és an official and as a human being with The Board of Inquiry Anda as an official, he has failed. But Pellman, dismissed from office, knows, he could not have acted differently. "Half," novel,'' half parable. "The Day of the Monkey!! is well-meaning, l pressive, hardly successful, A SIGN OF THE TIMIS, BY Robert Kes, Byre, Sund: Spółtawoode. 121. 6d. 256. 1 pages.

LEE mts his new, novel in the

World 10, yours hérice. violent, changes have

all one can „^sily) is i

Wed 2. little. WOTSG! Governmental) Ageuy for son is not

.

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