THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1955,
Cummings
Nathaniel Gubbins
A
"S things are looking t. and the result may depend pretty grim, it is on whether the slow moving. wavy punching Basher will be not surprising that quick enough to dodge the a cautious news- lightning lefts and vizitus rìgh; paper correspondent is al upperyuts of the Southpaw.
Well, here they, are coming ready asking "What is heaven like?" and "Shouldn't out of their corners. They touch
paws and break away.
Bach our religious teachers in boy circles the ring watching these days give us a new the other for an opening move. The Basher leads with the left. conception of it?".
Six...Yes, he can...He's up. The Southpaw goes in for the kill but the Basher's up over the garden wall.
and
Well, that's the end of that Acht, with Basher Tibs retiring after the first round and leaving a winner of Southpaw Mog
heavy- paints and the new weight champion...
but the Southpaw sways his Political Corner
I must confess that this pro- head. blem has always bothered me whistles
whiskers. because the people who appear to think they are going to heaven
are ræver the people, you could be happy with for eternity, or
even for five minutes.
Although I have the greatest respert for her people's re- ligious beliefs. I have offen wen- dered whas the spiritualist heaven is like. According to their own eviduxe, it is full of uncles and aunts you may never want
back and the punch 'harmlessly past his
THE gods also seem to be
New the Bacher tries an- other left followed by a right having swing, but the Southpaw is out of the way in a lash. This Southpaw boy is very qulek on
for the Basher to leave an his feet and is probably wait
Basher tries again with other left and another right wing but misses is very
of the mark; but if one
fun with the big
shots of the Labour Party.
Innocents like myself who thought Clem Attice had got rid of Nye Bevan were amazed to read that Nye Bevan may have got rid of Clem Attlee.
Discussing the political situation with the Plucky Little Woman. I made what I thought was
a profound
to su again and gloomy Re those powerful rights connects observation.
Indians you would never we to meet. Therefore, I think their Heaven may be the other place. * I have also asked why the Salvatices Army's heaven is like. Again I have the greatest respect for their beliefs and good work,
but
tone-deaf
it is certainly going to snake the Southpaw Mog
his has
But the Sunpaw is ne: Caught out easily
He's wait ing his opportunity. And now he's get it. Yes, he's got
The Basher Pportunity?
his khard and dropped her heavens full of swinging wildly with lefts and
bandsmen
blewing rights,
has
"I said: "The desperate situa-:
world today tion of the
levn the masses in. Britain craving for neutrality. In Nye Bevan they see the only political leader who might possibly bring. it about. If he formed a Neu- rality Party he might sweep with the battle cry
both plaque on of
your America and Russia," houses
of meaning,
COUTSE,
But terested in this angle. Sho wanted i know if Clem and Nye were en speaking terms.
I said: "Of course they are. Politicians who
savage "cach | other in public don't always quarrel in private."
And
Southpaw. the dicking and weaving.
is going trumpets and bonging drums for for his cat. He snakes out that ever ad ever, then they сам Bightning left to the Basher'
Basher rose and, the
doesn't like a bit Now he snakes ou another and another and yet another and the Basher is look.
have it.
And now I have rout abeat the Rev. Cinton Lecy of Wash ington, U.S., who preached ronsep
Fasting 40 hours 15 maites, I am beginning to wonder where he is going und hoping meng somewhere cle.
Yes Even the other place would do.
Cat's Life
ing worried.
left
that piston-rod Oner again
Basher's erohes on the nose. And the Southpaw Mog follows up with a right to the stomach. And anothe right to the stomach. And an- ether left to the nose, and
right uppercut to the
a
Tha right uppercut certainly hurt the Basher. He's in real
the P.L.W wasn't in-
She said: "When they 'meet don't they cut each other with neses in the car? Or push into Cach
they pass order as
in
I said: "They probably have!
together lunch
She said: "If they were wash-
trouble now. He's retreating to ing their faces side by side in the garden wall. His tait's the House of Commons cloak- against the wall and he's trying room wouldn't Nye grab the
only place of ap
rights get him every time and he must be a strong boy to be
fill on his feet.
Yes, the Bacher is a strong toy, but he's getting tired. He wits to dodge those punches by But the going into a clinch. Southpaw breaks Away and elips him with a left. Then another left and a right. And another let and another right
HERE is a boxing commentary by your Uncle Nah, publicly ed in The Animal's Newspaper, of a one-round contest betwem twn heavy-weight tem cats, Basher Tibs and the Southpaw Mog, for the favours of Lottie The fight tock the Devil Cal. plage in the garden of the Sea Nest. Lottie and several excited girl friends occupied krand round the dust stand bin,
And the Basher's down. Yes. Well there they are in their the Bacher's down. The South corners. Basher Tibs looks the paw is biting his stomach. The heavier of the two, but the girls are howling for the kill... Southpaw Mog has the edge One...Two Three...No. he him for speed. Both boys look can' get up. .Four Five..
scats
I said: "They must have more than one piece of soap in the House of Commons cloakroom."
She said: "And wouldn't Clem have his revenge by using the last dry space left of the
eller towel?"
"I said: "You probably think · they would splash cach other with water from the basine?"
She said: "That was what 'I
was hoping",
I said: "It looks as if gods cre having a go at you, too. Men are not children."
She said: "Aren't they?"
(World Copyright.)
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"Don't worry! We've got our usual restraining hands on the party gus-bag."
DID IT
HAPPEN? THE MAN WHO LOVED
T was 1942. The at- mosphere in North Africa was turbulent
T
and unhappy. The Tunisians were not particu- larly pleased at being oc- cupied by so many armies in rapid succession. No sooner had the Germans and Italians gone than Ameri- cans,
their British and traditional protectors, the French, descended on them. The French, who had fought heroically in the recent past, were full of quite understand- able complexes. Their pay was so bad that they couldn't afford toothpaste, and their position as homecoming saviours was under- mined by the presence of richer armies and more ponderous and highly organised administrations. The British walked about in silent couples, uncommunica- tive and proud. The Americans rushed hither and thither in an astonishing variety of battle
wagons,
In certain cales, Spanish re- publicans distributed pamphlets to each other in the conviction that their hour had come.
In other places one could see annoyed British officers who had not seen eye to eye with Lord Montgomery
who were walling with stormy impatience for same new posting.
and
Then there were the Ameri- cans in the same position, ócca- sional Poles, stormy looking Soviet liaison cfficers, strange
unexplained civilians, sulky
German prisoners backing list- legaly the tarmac, Italian prisoners unloading lorries in
nt
LIFE
Stranger than trath? Perhaps but the truth, too, can be strange.
● Again in this series of fact-or-fiction tales by famous writers you must decide did it REALLY happen?
Drawing by Koolman.
their own. time, and above all a ground-door room, as though Arabs, watching this chaotic some hidden figure was watch- traffic with the sullen hatred of ing us. Then on the morning of a people who have found pride the fourth day, the front door in their misfortune.
opened, and a girl ran towards
to refuse, we looked at one an- other. I understood. I accepted.
London Express Service
By Peter
Ustinov
VOU can ace him tonight. You to his Chelsea home-the fabulous young playwright, star of stage sad screen, producer, director, Sim welter, broadcaster, TV personality, raconteur, And be is not yet 34. Darlar the war he served in the Royal Sussex Regiment and the BAOC, and be was released to work on the dim. The Way Ahead, of which he was co-author and which is the subject of this story.
He was married last rear for the second time, his s daughter by his first wife.
in spite of his grin, there was a certain irritation in his voice. "He was a stout man with a
After a lunch of sandwiches, we went to the front door, and found it open. We entered to And rooms decorated with a sur- prising opulence. The entrance hall was large and lofty. All the head like a rugby football, bald doors of the rooms were open, and pink. His eyes were light and gave us at a glimpse clear blue
sparkled with and they
A man, impression of this palatial in- friendship and irony, terior in which the taste was
one would say, of intense, bril- liantly cultivated charm, not French
1300
Italian
not elaborate Arabic, but of some
rate nationality of his own. Every Mediterranean country
from Syria to Spain must have had some distant hand in his manu facture.
She was no more than about 17, very pretty and itmid, and yet dressed with all the exccisive ornamentation of a Victorian between-maid.
His wife was less reassuring. She never seemed to look any one in the eye but just ran nervously hither and thither dropping things as though - bullled "airpost to distraction by the simple presence of her hus- band. He ignored her pletely but asked us some-con- ventional questions about the movies in a warm, caressing
Then he offered us voice. brandy. We declined.
Smoke ringa
com-
4
The Best Club In The World
By J. W. Taylor® THOSE men and women
to be sent to Parliament by the British voters at. this Election who are new to Westminster will soon understand why the House of Commons is said to be the best club in the world. This will gradually dawn upon the "new boy" as an "old boy," acting as guide, takes him into the innermost sanctum - the Smoke Room.
is
Here that comradeship engendered which makes the British
Parlamentary
system work in the House of Commons as nowhere else in the world. It chartens even the most Berry at MP's. Party barriers are broken down. Soon the new Member is chatting amicably with men whose politics he has just been denouncing as ruinous
for the
country. The com
completest con-
be
dences may
exchanged within its walls without the
slightest fear of betrayal.
There are seventeen hundred rooms in the Palace of West- minister, but the new MP car- nort to win one of these for
hope
his personal use until he becomes a Minister. Like the rest of the rank and file members, all he
can expect is a locker.
But his real
will be
where to sitically, no
MP has the right to sit in any special place in the House, bui in practice Members usually at in the same place once they have found it. Some are most in- dignant should a usurper occupy St.
"MAIDEN_SPEECH
One thing is certain. The new MP must not sit on the Front Benches above the
the gangway nor on
Bench behind the Government. This latter is reserved for the Parliamentary Private Secrem taries. Then again, it would be most tactless to sit immediately behind the Opposition Front Bench. Someone would likely accuse him of staking out a claim for office. And to take
the lowest seat would, as it were, be the opposite error, for someone would say that he was
Ittle independent of his... party.
&
If the new Member's guide is a really seasoned Parliamen tarian, his straining at the leash to deliver his maiden speech may no doubt be eased some- delivering
what by his omily:
the Disraeli
**It is
better that other Members
should wonder why you do not speak rather than that they should wonder why you do."
Before the "new boy" reaches the Smoke Room, his guide will have taken him to the policeman at the entrance to the House for a formal introduction, File name and features will immediately be memorised by a custodian who takes pride in remembering a Member once having seen him and heard his name. This proce- dure will be repeated at certain inner doors, many of which are barred to new Members, SWEARING-IN
01
After the election and swearing-in
the Speaker there
days are several
of swearing-in of Members in the Commons Chamber, the Speaker calling upon them on the various Benches in turn--the Govern- ment Front Bench first, then the Opposition Front Bench, and so om.
After he has been sworn, the new Member will step forward to shake hands with Tike Speaker. For the next few days after this there is nothing he can do except to explore ways and means of more easily find-
He ignored our refusal. "Remy Martin, Bisquit Dubouche?" he asked. Surprised; we made our chulce. "Cigar?" he asked. We knew too well the raucous little weeds then available. We re-ing his way about the Palace. fused again. "Romeo y Julieta. Por Larrañaga?" he asked. Once again, we embarrassedly made our choice.
of
Here the Member will be lucky if he gets to know more than a fraction of it, Indeed one veteran and distinguished Conversation no longer mat Parliamentarian once avowed tered, As
warmed we
our that he got to know more about brandy in our balloon-glasses Barry's great building as mem- and blew
smoke rings to the ber of the Palace of Westminster ceiling we daydreamed about life Home Guard than he ever did before the war, life after the as a Member of Parliament.. war, life....
..üfe. how full good things it was in spite of the occasional discomfort!
Through the haze of pleasure I heard the voice of the Patron
asking questions. He was com- on the reserve in order to work
plaining of the rigours of on the film "The Way Ahead." no more than about seventeen Just visible was the edge of a existence, the dirt of North We were shooting in the street years old, very pretty and timid, swimming pool. The untroubled Africa, the dishonesty of its mar of a shabby little Tunisian - and yet dressed with all the blue water. was shooting pale chants. He had a nostalgia for port. The weather was overcast excessive ornamentation and sad. The local population Victorian in-between maid, was not particularly helpful, re-
with the
On reserve
me.
on it.
far more doubtful than the expense which had been lavished
Through a series of windows which gave on to crazy paving
I had been temporarily placed congruous anywhere; here in rooms, we could see some French droning on. He was no longer
us
game
She would have locked in- Tunisia, she looked like a cruel caricature, for she was certainly
of
little, shivering patterns of light Cannes and the French Riviera. on to the distant wall and ceil- He also liked Later, I remember
It was the only time I have ing. Under the sulky sky we and both Salonika and Smyrna ever heard the Tunisians laugh could see the silhouettes of a held perfumed memories for him. haughty suspicion as it reserved
The girl blushed and few gay umbrellas, wrought iron
Still"
he said, with a sigh, for the military of any nation. aloud.
dropped a curtsy, She was tables, desk chairs swings, and "I must not complain. I have 2 The people responded to any invitation to co-operate by North African too, but trained all the paraphernalia of mid- very good contract with Allied They pay vanishing into their melancholy in all the exaggerated decorum summer fangor in the open air. Force Headquarters. well and promptly.
Life could shacks. It was hard work and of Europe 1880
While we stood there in be worse..." totally unredeemed by any trace She talked so softly that I
wonder, taking in the indis-
“What do you make?" I asked, of that carefree Mediterranean had to strain to understand her criminate glit and the vule idly puffing at my cigar. climate which so quickly soothes Apparently "Le Patron" was an finery, we heard a thick but
Coffs the passions and neutralises avid film fan. He had been friendly voice crying, "Entrez
At a pinch we might watching our difficulties anger
messieurs, entrez We went WORLD COPYRIGHT RESERVED have been in the industrial north nated from his study window. towards the garden, and found at the time of Dickens.
Now in gratitude for his enter that the room with the french over tainment he was inviting Cap windows was the dining-room,
DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? fain (now, Sir Carol) Reed and
Lasci
Standing like a sentinel over modern house. It was
was spotlessly
at the end of a long relectory clean, and I would just seo ex- drink with him after lunch,
consulted Carol and we had callar, finishing lunch
table, a napkin, tucked into his pensive curtains elegantly drap
He did od round the window-frames. our doubts. Drink usually means not rise, but just smiled.
1.whisky
which was brass plate near local There was the front door of quite un- or local
His wife rose instead of him, Both almost cer- and pushed forward some heavy hospital. Still, chairs for us. When we made a irrepressible taste gesture to help her Le Patron Having agreed begged us to let her do it alone,
this dismal scene was a large,rivate (now Mr) Ustinov to Le Patron" himselt was sitting
necessary grandeur, like the any colordy, which might
plates they put up on consulates tainly led to For three days I had noticed Carol has an the curtains rustling vaguely in for adventure,
い
1
YES
NO
Put your tick in the space abors and kang this panel by you until, tomonew wheibe answw-will be given-with another story~le this series-by
H. E. BATES
● Did yesterday's 'story -- Ones Man
Did Han: Pam By, by Desine Robinso actually happen?⠀ The atÍDEI NO).
POCKET CARTOON
by OSBERT LANCASTER
100%
*Well, who was
·who "
was always going on at the, boor","chità about living volely for pleasure ? ¡jø
"
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