Page: 4
NATHANIEL
A
FTER rending the
You'll be surry when you got work of the animal your post bag, Albert,
for Brownte reportera Albert sakd
he would also Illec
to have a shot at luterviews.
Can you think of any body in the news you would like to interview, Albert?
Well. there's nine - prar - old Margaret Millington, who likes à plans of beer after the ho been out with the Brownies,
to
Youti
be have
careful about that, Albert. There might be protests from the temperance organisations.
But she's very healthy on it. At a meeting of the Food Educa- tion Society her mother said she
We don't care
craft
We don't care,
daft. Brownies,
спеста.
we think it's
pass the cup that
No more Ickson, 110 THOTE
No more silly country walks. No more silly nature talks. Our silly leader's up the pole, Landlord, All the flowing
bowl.
Brownies, Brownica, paar the
cup,
Brownies, Brownies, bottoms
tip.
THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1955.
GUBBINS
She said: "You offered
and the ball thumps
to mines, make my mother an allowance." him in the stomach,
He said: "That was to keep her tong note out of my home and business.”
She said: "My mother hon't got a long nose."
He said: "When I first saw her I thought she was an ant- cater."
of an
She said: "Then why did you
the daughter marry ant-cater?!
He said: "I wanted to do something different."
She said: "Slop insulting my relations."
"1
hate
He said: "Stop insulting my friend"
She
said:
your That will be enough for 10- friend."
He said: duy, Albert
"It's no use hating a man who pays
your housG- keeping allowance, bought the
had never been ill in her Hammer & Tongs he bought the car AND your
That would only take the temperance people angrier
And a doctor at this meeting SHE
naid that if all clatoren
szere
brought up ou brend and cheese and beer they would live to a healthy old nye.
Whet weld you Margaret
workin
CHE aid to her husband; "if you invite a Fath I hate tu sinner I shidi birike in
you hate."
sarel
She al He said.
Ntrector
He
nk fath friends."
I would ask her it there was
a Bruumies' drinking song and
if they waAG t 01 Tegimental dinners
Those woubt der Mila tions to unk it child, Abert
if they No, they wouldn't didn't have a drinking song I'd write one for them. That would be rather original, wouldn't it
It would be somelling
in interviews.
I mean something like than Brownies, Brownies
school,
Bottoms up in celtur cont
Brotenes,
Bronies
How
petraite. Itronomics don't drink term
ade.
will
The temperance people be mad with rage, Albest.
Brownies happy. Browntes
Jolly.
We are never melas-choly. Brownies rosy, Brownies pale. Down with, down with t
brown ale.
The temperance people. OF writing letters already. Albert, ↓ can hear the scratching of their furlous pena,
Brownies dark and Brownies
falr
away with
A way.
care.
away.
ail your
"I hate
"I hate all yours." "My friend is
4
that
fur coat."
She said: "Don't you do any~ thing to earn the money?"
fle sald: "And keeps your mother.
Dension."
How un my
She said: "From mother will live on her old-age
He said
"Fine. I hear the plus are overeating themselves," She said: "And I'll go and join her."
He said: "What are you wait-
happen to pay my salary."
She said "My friend haps tng for?"
of all She said: "I pack my bags pens to be the director
now." neigh- rucial aclivities In Lana hoogt
Hur
"Your friend is
He said
She said: "Your friend
17
Common.
ها
Rate "Your friend sostal poison."
"Yours is Social She said: tenth."
He said
"My friend doesn't ant to hear about your friend's diet and what she weighed the [+ the inat
weni she
mar-
She said: "My friend donant want to hear shout your friend's early struggles atu! how he lived on cocoa and broad und gartne
He said: "You should worry. considering your father lived un
and bread
COCORE
anal
Kilar-
garine,”
She said: "My father never ant Ived on coroa and brend margarine.
"*187'1 that He said: they have for breakfast
ROM?**
what
71
She said: "My father never went to prison."
He said: "He was lucky."
She said: "Your father was a bum who lived on his rela- Bong."
"As your ile Bald. down lines on me that makes
bum tog."
We have missed the hockey
match.
Brownies, Brownies,
the hatch.
mother her a
He said: " help you"
She said "IF 1 go I'll never corne buck."
He said: "Good,"
Poddon, So Sorry
THE
story of Herr Zelner, we German football fan who bowed
spertalo to Enxilsh around hin, said, "Puddon, no and offered them ilver turp,"
when the usage sandwiches
inid captain Posipal German Finey low in a tackle s Wom bley, has made me wonder what will happen when Germans take up cricket,
Herr rizad about Until
that thought Zeiner always German Geldsmen would crack opposing batsinen over the head with the stumps or bowl hand Krenudes if they couldn't get them out any other way.
Now I know that the first ot Anglo-German Test Match
to be entirely Lord's is going
clifferent.
We will assume that the Eng- Bish team are bailing and the first ball is a snorter from the German fast bowler. The Eng- lish baistan plays forward,
Swiss Chronometer production hit new high
in 1953
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At the beginning of each year these Testing Stations publish yearly reports with declin at the watch more ments submited to them, the names of manufacturers and the results of the vents. Reports of the five Testing Stations published early in 1954 reveal that in 1953 the Swiss Watchmaking Industry produced the record must ber of 48,028 waist-chronometers,
This is an eloquent testimonial to the continuing progress of Switzerland's chief exporting industry.
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Ho doubice up and rolls on the ground, and instead of the Germans yelling "Howzint?" hoping the umpire will think he was hit on the leg, there will be a universal cry of "Poddon, so EQITY."
red-
All the German spectators will turn to the furious faced old gentlemen at Lord's und sny, "Poddon, so BUSTY. They will then offer the furious old gentlemen enormous liver sausage sandwiches, which will make them even more furious.
The German fast bowler will shake the stricken batsman by the hand and say, "Poddun, so Borry." Then the wicket-keeper will do the same, The close-i floldsmen will line up and say. "Poddon, so sorry," and even those the outfeld will run up to offer their apologica,
After that the German cap- tuin will send for liver sausag sandwiches to console the Eag lish casualty, and he, steady feeling sick from his injury, will wish he had never been bora.
Indeed, I predict that if th. becomes a Ge, man cricket zu - 1om they are aimat pertain win every match by at sta Innings.
It
balamen thirais English that when they are hit in the to tra stomach they are going forcibly fed with liver sausage sandwiches they will be even more nervous and unpredictable than they are now."
[World Copyright, j
"Adopt universal central heating, double windows, etc.? But, my dear Elmer, Britain has a temperate climate."
A DREAM SAVED ONE PASSENGER FROM
The Liner That
L
Vanished
JOHN ROBBINS
tells another of the world's strangest stories
ONDON waited Later the same doy the Clan coast, thousands of miles Emm
anxiously in 1909 Macintyre encountered a strong the
gale and high sen, followed by for newa of the
n harfcare which nbated Ont 9,000-ton liner July 29. Waratah. But none came; The officers s the Clan Mac- none has ever come. To this day no one knows for tain the time, the place or the reason for her disap- pearance.
cer-
That in itself is strange enough. But stranger still
Intyre were the last people washed up on the rocky South
1. see the Waratah, although the Union-Castle steamer Guelph re ported that et 9.51 p.m. on July 27, about 80 miles from Durban, she saw an unidentified passen ger ship about five miles away signalling in
in Morse.
The officer of the watch could
is the fact that a Inun not make out the first signal that capsized came but clearly read the dreamed she hud
in
n storm before it was letters "TAH. The steamer-it known that anything had it was the Waratah--was then on course for Capetown and was happened to her.
showing no distress signals.
in
GRUESOME
urea in which she was thought to have foundered. This gave rise to further speculation. During the years, various have been pleees of wreckage African coast. But none of it has ever been positively identi #ed. Nor has any of the uncharted wrecks spotted from the air been proved to be the Wartsh.
And no bodies were ever covered,
re-
of
London Express Service
The Waratah-a distinctive ship.
the
Mr Sawyer told the hushed what actually happened to the Inquiry that he had the same ship--but no one will ever be dream three times in rapid sure.
The starching 15-day inquiry, succession. "Next day I mention-
to a gentleman in fact, concluded that the ship ed the dream and he said, 'It's a warning capsized with ali hands but Then I began to think why I could not determine the cause, should be warned und I
The was
"top-heavy" allegations anxious to leave the ship" were refuted and the presiding magistrate, Mr John Dickinson, He wasted no time, packed his who sat with two marine assez- luggage and disembarked at sors, held that the ship had been Durban. He told several people stable and seaworthy.
his dream, including the
Sallors have discussed Star witness at a 15-day Board
Union-Castle mystery in waterside taverns the of Trade Inquiry in London was manager of the Mr Claude G. Sawyer, a com- office, where he booked a fresh world over, Some belleve that
who but for a passage to Capetown.
the ship's engines failed and pany director,
she drifted down to the Antarc of danger might premonition
He also sent this telegram to tic. Others think she might have Theories there have been
have been the 212th name on the
his wife: "Booked Capetown.
lost her zudder, it has evep dozens to explain what tragedy
casualty list. befell this practically new ship
Thought the Waratah top-heavy. In his evidence, he said there Landed at Durban." after she sailed from Durban in
was "something unusual" about South Africa at 6 pm. on July
On July 28, after the Waratahy glant octopuses pulled her to the the Waratah during the voyage had sailed but before there was 20, 1909. But only one thing is
Ocean from
slightly more feasible sug- really certain she never arrived steamship Toltenham passed across the Indian
anything to suggest she had been gestion is that the ship was a number of pieces of flesh. On Australia.
large whirlpool. But Soom after embarking from lost, he had an even more dis- caught in one larger piece there was DE
turbing dream.
Is hardly likely. Sydney he noticed she had a big
There has been a strange Ls possible to trace her course albatross.
the ship list to port. After they left for some way after she left The captain took
to the mystery in retent Durban. On the morning of July close, looked through his glass. Adelaide she rolled and wobbled and
years. In 1929 there was a mig- she overtook and saw what appeared to be a in an alarming manner,"
gestion that aswhite man comp- 27, for instance, she another British
the human torro Throughout the remained a long time on each dinou
E seemed to see the Waratah ing on the South African coust Clan Macintyre, and the vessels day the ship passed other sunilar side bofore recovering.
a distinctive ship with one had seen a large ship clore in- In the early morning before
shore near
ar the mouth exchanged weather information flotsam, but could make nothing
dumel and a high superstrue-. the place was infested arrival at Durban he had in Morse signals. As the Waratait of
Xora River. pulled ahead the other ship with sharks.
weird dream, He saw a man "in ture-ploughing her way through
The theory was discounted by As he watched a with heavy sons. Rashed: "Thanks, good-bye;
dress A But there was nothing-as yet a very peculiar
a former member of the Cape ruesome long sword in his right hand, great wave swept over her bows Mounted Riflemen who searched pleasant passage.”
which he appeared to be holding and, rolling on to her starboard
the coast for wreckage at the and other side, she disappeared.
time. Two years later, in 1811, one between Mr Sawyer
From the scanty evidence of the liner's lifeboats was passengers. In his left hand he
He asked: If a white man had available that is most probably been in the area and had seen found on the New Zealand held a rag covered with blood.
at her destination, Capetown.
From brief reports, however, IL LS
12
sieamer,
And as the Waratah was seen to disappear over the horizon she was steaming rapidly and normally.
THEN,, on August 10,
connect thasc items with the Waratah.
the
DID EISENHOWER
HE
INQUIRY
BLUNDER
OVER FORMOSA DEFENCE?
ID President Eisenhower
ID blunder Dy failing to.
for
been seriously suggested that bottom.
it
of the
a ship, why did he withhold in- formation?
MYSTERY
sink.
by
Mr. Price,
THE answer to that question was, perhaps, supplied Inst year when Frank Price, 71- not want to, alienate political year-old retired seaman,, adven-“ By HUGH DUNDAS
diamond square inch held by the Na- claimed that it was a men tionalists should be defended. Jan Pretorius wh
who saw the draw out a precise defence
ship tho Implication line in his message to Con-
Down the Chinese coast 175 · As Others--and the most fervent
confirmed authoritatively
who lives in an supporters Buch as miles you get to three more gress asking for approval of Chiang
cottage near the. his new plan to prevent a Senator William Knowland are Nationalist outposte-Yinshan, high government sources that
even mainland parts might be village of Panton, in this compare delighted Matru and Palchuan. Communist advance against at the outposts should not be
attacked
If they were being says that Pretorius was illegally. Down again 130 miles you find used for the Formosa?
altogether abandoned
concentration of prospecting for diamonds. Cap- has the twin Islands of Quamoy.-"
forces Eisenhower ·
obviously turn meant life imprisonment; Communist Should he have made. Although
Both those last two groups fall caused bewilderment by his clear to Peking what he deliberate vagueness over the within the definition of what the art interior hate that is why he did not come certainly has not made clear islands and by his implication President in his message called tuunt intended as a deterrent.
whether that even Communist concentra- to Washington the U.S. forces would de- tions in mainland
ports could part finitely go into action to come under US attack, the But it the Communiste attack government's intention is actual- save the two major Nation- ly well defined. allet outposts of Quemoy and Mateu as well as certain
other minor outposts?
EXPENDABLE
forward,
"There was a torrine hurricane "rolated localities." They are not
ATOM WEAPONS
explains, blowing," Mr Prics the territory which the
"and Jan took shelter, Ho United States holds inviolate.
There is no doubt at all that looked out to sea and suddenly them with the obvious intention the U.S. soa-alt forces in the saw a big ship with one blue
like of using them as stepping stones area would pulverise any inva- tunnel wallowing inshore like t of the way to the Pescadores sion feet the Communiste like are saw no sign of life, mid and Formoen, then Elsenhower to muster. Admiral. Pride, could will consider herself free to act "even bring atom -Wemporis....to/
sucklenly, the ship hoeled
atomic unfortunately, it will never be
checked. rded ; as
Pretorius is dead; Mr. which Price say lie was sworn, to relloni secrecy during his lifetime,
Here is the situation, working is acknowledged that in bear. He has a stock them, over and disappeared, dry Those are the questions being from north to south
this phase of Eisenhowers and Secretary of Sale Dulles This account romarkably seled by politicians and poll- . Elsenhower al considers
tho
polky tical commentators today And Tacher, Kalands, 200 miles north the greatest taker has announced on December 20, like Mr. Sawyer's dream but,
great, bis last your that tactical opinions are, evenly, divided. of Formicia, seful outposts but i
weapons are now Some say that by deliberately expendable. He said so publicly, calculated risk. leaving, the question, in the air He was prepared, to fake the In taking the risk enhower "onventional Eisenhower, may have defeated dangerous top of sending UB, was influenced by his old train may be teoc his own-primary object, which, want doder cover of La Liga soldier and by his new of a hor was to deter the Communiece places to wracuate the Na-gaining as a pollicles. from making a real-mo by Honaire troops walch hold the He did not want lo, tell
Blog But he is not prepared potential enemy, thay could wal tallize exactly "what
KULOORs for the pursuinmonths into strate
be dia
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