1954-12-08 — Page 4

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THE CHINA··· MAIL, - WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER”“ 1954.

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

N

over

Britain

were

EWSAGENTS all a march of starving cats on the

overflowing dustbins of Park Lane. He was a starry-eyed amazed when ideals with the tongue of a animals of every Billingsgate fish porter.

hir size from elephants to rate What has happened to besteged bookstalla Jast ideals now? week.

Er-ailey cat Sam Spit lives in comfortable villa in the The reason, of course, suburbs, He draws fiah-heads as was the announcement of a member of the Amais Par the Hament and as secretary Animal's Newspaper,

He edited by N. Gubbins, Esq., also draws half a

Communist-run NU.AC.

pound of liver and owned and founded by a month as editor of "koul" Lord Gubbins, who is also the Left-Wing weekly. the principal shareholder,

the

It was unfortunate that both the Gubbinses forgot also announce that, owing to cir

they

which

-A

But who also lica vested in- terests, amounting to a virtual monopoly, in all the dustbine of Sam Spit's Constituency? Ask the hungry cats

the cumstances over

elected have no control, such as the

Sam Spit, M.P.,

er-idealist, shortage

cat, of money and news alley print, the Animal's Newspaper believer in fair shares for all. will not be published

FLOOR MANNERS separate journal but incorpor-

Hero Is + tiny article on ated in these columns.

"Pada- Therefore,

to avold

further aliquette for dogs by

bout."

e female poodle who gets disappointment, animals are re-

around Mayfair: orderly quested to line up in queues outside rows stands with 2d, in their mouths and ask for their paper.

For eager. Impatient animals trom some extracto here are their very own paper, with an introduction to one of chief contributori,

گھر

WHO IS CROSS WHISKER?

Cruss Whilsker is a young ent who is determined to get on in Fleet Street

I has chosen politicians

the victims

US

his ravage Deb.

of

Your little Padabout has been rushed off her paws gel.. ung news for her Arst column about what the best dogs are doing.

Well, for a start, I can tell you that floor manners have changed and that natural, un- Inhibited eating, once thought so smart among the younger ad, is definitely out.

As fashions usually go back- wards we have now reverted to the customs of our great- grandmothers when rich little in the He is free to write what

klogs had their meals ho opinions likes. so long as his

drawing-room, ato slowly and Loiselessly, and always left a happen to

with opinions of Lord Gabbins. the Ntle on the plate for man- Remal proprietor of the paper. ners, unless it was because Ute enten What is his line? His line poor little things had

tear down

of the facade

too much. 25.00 ypocrisy which protecte poll- righteous teal besta from the $8.50 wth of the stupid beasis who

25.00 elected them.

POPULAR PUBLICATIONS

Enjoyable Cookery

Baby Book

This is Hong Kong

The Hongkong Countryside (Herklots)

Hongkong Birds (Herklets)

Coronation Clory

King George VI

It's Fun Finding Out - 2nd series

(Bernard Wicksteed)

Rupert Adventure Books

Rupert Magazines

The Magic Scroll

No Hiding Place Behind Scotland Yard)

Common Marine Food-Fishes of Hongkong

15.00

Whisker

CORRESPONDENCE

Out of the hundreds of letters from beasts, birds, and insect the

the Editor of

Animal's Newspaper has room to publish

Te only one this week.

A Letter from a Flen chosen because of its original point of view. Dear Sir.

noticed with I have Anunt the fear expressed by human beings in the 203- papers that modern wrapenz of destruction may one day bring about the end of their world,

That only makes it wore,

And be wears rimless glasses. A lot of grey-haired men wouring rimless glasses have. peculiar ideas,

Dat eten. This guy is raking in the dough.

You don't have to use Ameri- can expressions, Albert.

But, i'm terrifle. He's myndl- cated all over the United States. Ho solls He's in magsainos. pamphlets. He han stupen. dous fan mail. He's making « million

What do you expect me to do

about it?

You could write that dope with your eyes shut

I don't know anything about necking. Albert

Don't be childish. Everybody does. Why, I could do it myself. Please don't, Albert. We have work to do.

Walt a minute. I can type 100 times

nes faster than you.

think of this? What do You

I I don't want to read it. Well, I read 18, Listen, I don't want to hear it. You're missing something. I'm Jolly good. Heh, heh, heh, heh,

heh.

don't

like your course laugh, Albert.

Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, Stop It, Albert,

All right, if you don't want to do it, don't, Dr Gubbins, Professor of Love, would have swept the country.

the Only the dirty part of country, Albert.

O.K. Write your own clean, damn dull column,

How To Keep Fit

"HARLEY STREET

doctors"

writing for the Press have been telling us how te AL during the coming

keep winter.

Unofficial weather prophets, noting that birds have been col- lecting red berries earlier than sual and that squirrels an: madly soning

int nway buls Keret places, predlet that the weather will be severe.

It was, therefore, considered that old Mr Cargle, the village centenariana who has never been in his fe and has secu 100 winters come and go, might the have interesting views on

What does he believe in? Hy 35.00

belleves in everyting Lard

11 10.50 Gubbins belleves in

fact Lord Gubbins 10.50 he'd better.

always

hire another Cross Whisker. 5.00 This w4k ('ross 4.00 & 5.00 writes:

What are the hidden astels 1.00 of Sam Spit. M.P., who not 4.50 only represents the interests of

Sorialist cats.

In the Animale 10.00

Parliament but is also secretary to the National Union of Altry

Hus i ever occurred to them zonrid Sam Spti came up the hard that the end of a flea way. Born of unknoton parents happens almost every second of subject. in a London sizes, he frat drew the day and night?

doy A flea's world may be his to himself by Altruistes

privilege or any other animal, curn you, estellte attacks ON and the vested interests of rich if you are not careful.

sands of fleas may live on the dog. They marry, have children and are happy. The boundaries <if their world are the Hmiter areas of the dog's body hist o the boundaries of your world the limits of land and

(second enlarged edition)

Weights & Measurements

Stamp Collection Albums

from

On Sale At

24,00 Cat" 15.00 3.00

SOUTH CHina MornING POST, LTD. |cals.

HONGKONG

His cry was for fair shares for KOWLOON at animals. In his youth he led

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HONGKONG & KOWLOON

WAY, KAIDE" W & CO LTD

Thou-

are ocean,

When a dog has an insecti- cide bath that is the end of one of our worlds. Usually we are dil destroyed, though sometimes there are survivors to start

in difficult nee life stances.

But when one of our worlds we have a better chance

Old Mr Gargle was found in the village lavern, his hairy face Imomentarily hidden by an up- turned pint pot As his face, when revealed during a pause for breath, seemed unnaturally red he was offered half a pint only.

"O alius as a pint," said old Mr Gargle.

"Do you think it's going to be a

a bad winter, Mr Gurgle?" he was asked.

"All winters is bad, Some's

dry and cald. Some's warm and wet, and some's middlin"."

"But a

haven't you noticed that squirrels drcum-

have been un- usually Industrious nuts?

because we can then make

space Journey, |plauctary leap,

1

or An inter- on to another another

tlog. OF, If you like,

world.

There may be as many worlds as there are dogs. In compari- son pours may be as small as a Pekingese. If the end of your Hitte world does not occur be- fore space travel is possible you may have the same chance as we have of leaping from a dead world on to a live one.

i remain, Sir, yours faithfully

A Fica.

"Squirrels

PACT RATIFICATION

QUESTION OF TIMING

World Copyrighi tu artungenymi with the benenester Querétan

Of all the WORLD'S STRANGEST STORIES of the 20th Century, the most baffling is surely that of the FLYING SAUCERS

The Sinister End

of Captain Mantell

O

the

out

been detected

Fall flying saucer strange slivery croft apparently secretly Investigated "with the of the help of the etherlan operators." stories the saddest swerving in and

Another mountain peaks.

that an artificial and perhaps

"A chain of

hлs saucer-like satelite most sinister

the things," he told the authorities circling

спе that which ended with the on_landing.

orbit. Flying saucers !

Since

time are Captain Thomas death of

considering spage great

joke then. Soon everyone seriously of the United Mantell,

was seeing saucers, cartoonista travel, it does not seem too far- States Air Force at Fort worked overtime and hoaxers fetched that forms of life, if not Knox, Kentucky.

It

WOR

21

Earth in a fixed

"ACT

In que

rampaged the country. But when people, on other planets should It is the

a Mantell was killed it was a joke have beaten us to it. But scien- story of daring attempt to solve to langer Flying saucers sud. tists are unanimous in opposing

denly beenmo world mystery this idea in relation to flying.. what has been called the and even & mennee.

saucers. Captan Mantell, they mystery of the century.... They have been seen all over insist, was not shot down by a and world,

death-ray but many Martlan of sudden inexplicable the

countries. including Britain, likely blacked out through lack silence...of a plane flown France, America, South Africa, of oxygen and crashed without by a skilled pilot dropping Australia and New Zealand, regaining consciousness. helplessly to earth 20,000 feet.

Firm Grip

more

from people hayc formed clubs to exchange information about the Godman phenomena, for even the sceptics

And the "cone" he was chas- It happened over

betn 21 might have Field, Fort Knox, on January 7. now admit that saucers utterly

title of ing? It

"skyhook" balloon such as la collecting 1948-a portentous day for all dignified by the new

used to study cosmic rays-luter who were stationed there at the lime.

whipped away in a high altitude

collects

alins nuis," said Mr Gargle.

"Or that birds are collecting berries earlier than usual?"

Birds allus collects berries," said Mr Gargle.

"A doctor says that in order to keep fit we should eat a little in the summer and a lot in the

winter. Do you Gargle?"

agree,

Mr

winter

Yet I had begun quile nor- and cheerfully with maily rauline training in clear, sunny weather.

Nobody was thinking about flying saucers.

"Oi allus cats a lot, and summer," said Mr Gargle.

"What do you cat mainly, Mring up at the sky with shaded Gargio?"

"Allus the same.

Bolled pork and pease pudden," said Mr Gargle, "and plenty on it."

meal. "Not for

Albert Speaking Garglo?"

ALBERT,

writer, The robot sitting At my desk again wound up and ready help out with the column,

Any ideas, Albert?

10

Yes. There's an article from New York

abous a Dr Paul Popence who calls himself the Professor of Love.

I meant clean Ideas, Albert, Aren't you touchy Who sald

It wasn't clean?

every

Mr

Ot for me dinner, cold for me supper," said Mr Gargle.

"Every

day #11 the year round?”

"Allus the same."

"Christmas Day, too?" "Allus the same. Only more on it,"

"Perhaps you walk a lot to keep it, Mr Gargle?"

Oi allur walks 'ere and I alius walks 'ome, twice a day. winter or summer, rain ahine,"

We have to remember this is

"And frost or snow?" family

newspaper, Albert. Take more'n that to stop Young people may be reading me" said Mr Gargle,

Young people in America se C. you drink

reading Dr Popenos.

What he writing about? Neoking and petting.

I don't call that clean,

He gives advloo on How Can Boy Meet Girl? How Do You Know It's Love? And Four Reasons Why Giris Pet.

It sounds disgusting to me. But this doctor is gray-haired and married with four chlidren.

much, Mr

Alle as much as Oi can get hold on."

doon't make you il!?" "IL "It ud make neill if of didn't get hold on it.”

"May I offer you another half- pint, Mr Gargle?"

"Oi allus as a pint," said old Mr Gargle.

[WORLD COPYRIGHT.]

MIRRORS HELP THE

MEN OF MUSCLE

By CHAPMAN FINCHER

eyes.

Ice Cream Cone

ROBERT

CHAPMAN

сет

*

Bale

tuls

Or it might have been a "mock sun" esused by ice crys- In cirrus ckuds which lay higher than Mantell's plane could reach.

which still

still persists.

ព

ад

vily

Meanwhile the "cone" sti More Rumours unseen by the other pilots, had

But that was before the alarm

This, however, is certain. The was raised, before the jangling

ineldent occurred at a time in the history of flying saucers chorus of phone bells sounded radio and harsh

Instructions Unidentisled Flying Objects are when interest was flogging and crackled from Godman Tower; real in the sense that they are t boosted the scare into a before the men of Fort Knox something

rather than second and more enduring phase ran into the open and stood look. merely imagined.

There is no doubting the re- So firm is the grip which fly- port last June of the BOAC ing stuces now have en publie Stratccruiser pilot who said he Imagination that however mang saw seven U.F..s on a fight are explained away every new from

New York to London. And righting stirs up the old excite-

this year

One can see no end to Up there at the hazy limit of carlier

we had the ment. visibility was something since photograph taken by Lanle

It and no, universally accept- of a flying able explanation until inter- described as "a huge Ice cream cashire schoolboy cone topped with red."

saucer Ife claimed to have seen planetary travel becomes F-5 while National Guard

out bird-watching near accomplished fiet and we Four planes roared off the tarmac ic his home in Coniston. It was got out into space and see for

and Investigate.

from one of too blurred for detail, and the ourselves what goes on.

Meanwhile what have we to them as it dwindled into the sky sceptics scon dismissed it as an

First of all there is came back

the tense voice of unusual cloud formation, but its guide us? Captain Mantell.

"lampchade outline conformed history. Strange manifestations There it Twelve o'clock remarkably to the

in the sky are not peculiar to popular in high

It looks metallte.... notion of a flying saucer.

the present day. As far back as tremendous size!"

Flying saucers do not populate 1940 a book was published called None of the other pilots had the skies as thickly as it some "Strange Signes from Heaven"

recorded It in sight and presently Captain times seems. The great majority which

sightings of Mantell radioed that the Thing of sightings are easily explain any phenomena which might able-like that which made all well come under the general was climbing mpidly.

A heading of flying saucers, and. "I'm going to follow it up to London Icok up this summer. 20,000 feet," he said. "If I'm no meteorological balloon, it turned even in the Bible there are res closer I'll abandon chase...... out to be, one of more than a ferences suggesting that ancient

On the ground they waited hundred reicased

Beltala peoples were puzzled by them. and then frantically they tried every day, calling him back. But nothing Indeed The Air, Ministry intel- MOTO was heard from Captain ligence department, wlilch in-

So it seems that if the saucers Mantell and nothing was seen vestigates saucers as one of its

ships from another until his broken body was functions, reports that 95 per- are space recovered from the wreckage of cent have been proved to be of world they are an unconscion- able time making up their the plane which crashed a few natural origin.

minds about us, miles away.

And now for the

scientiada. us that the big tola- They, tell scopes peering lato space from disappeared. And Just what And most of the remaining high points all over the world happened up there is still in five percent, it is believed, could have for years been photograph- doubt; but there is a persistent be explained away with more ing the night skies but peen belict in some quarters that information about the sighing nothing suggesting the Mantell got too closa, enw ino "We have no evidence, that much and

destroyed by

fying mucers exist, nor that preach of space aliips.

And they say the rupid, some power unknown on earth. they don't exist," says

erratic movements of unex Ministry.

enucers suggest Dj G veristy of real phenomena. Some to hear of saucers being tracked are undoubtedly

and

WRA

The

Real Phenomena

First Sighting Nor are the experts unsettled plained

meteors

ap-

This was not the first flying by radar as occurred at a Terri- Are balls; others are miragem saucer incident, but it has a forini Ack-Ack H.Q. In South created by lenses of air, quite fundamental place in the whole London. The apparatus carried familiar to anyone acquainted The of the man

HE secrets of the murele men' weights then they can manage mystory. Indeed, it might be by weather balloons is known to with the opties of the Earth's

argued that if Mantell had bot give a radar algnal suggesting

Suli' 'more may be buil-nocks - pro revealed by: a'

to les crystals behav- doctor today.

By a trick which forces blood died the flying saucers would it is much bigger than it actu- attributed to

ally is, they say, into the muncies a weight-lifter have died Instead.

Ing as distorting imirror, Tho body-builders spand

¿But thoro still remains a The first sighting was six

a low- But there is one thing you MAY hours posing in front of mirrors ciretamference of tus bleeps by can temporarily increase the

months cariler" when Kenneth ly increasing number of sight to quite certain about. Dit dying which apparently dety saucers have landed or over land Ian J. Macqueen, for hour, Dr MacQueen reports, man, was making trip to natural

and so the In future there is no reasON ON Sheffield University... myn after in the British Medical Joumale Washington - from his home in mystery good on)

study

of "Mrjaritam" And thother glomicks The Idaho, The journey took him limo to time by new and more try to hide the fath Analista

body builders want fren: boots"] along a range of snow-capped amazing rumours. One of the When they and watching town.” Dited with, dumb-bella to boost mountains, and suddenly he was latest from America is that Ave irives: they genes. Lift ShenYDRE. 200

surprised to see a formation of captured flying saucers are being,

On Saturday

to perfect their muscle-control; ans and half inches in helt an Arnold.”“ én American business inst expionstimulated from earth why the authorities should

The Bogus Heiress