1954-02-20 — Page 5

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CH

CHIVALRY BACK IN BUSINESS

By Les Armour

London.

HINS were smoother and shirt collars white in Britain this week. Fow trousers wore without a lethal crenae.

„Chivalry--that battered old lins-been-W03 suddenly dragged out again, refurbished and was back in business.

For the womenfolk, seats were being sur- rendered in tube trains, duors were being opened, fewer high-heeled pumps were being stamped on.

It had finally happened.

Men were beginning to outnumber women. By 1981, if presont trends continue, statis- ticians revealed there will be 1,008 British mon and boys for every 1,000 women,

Maybe that doesn't seem much. Most coun- tries have a slight surplus of males, But, in Britain, the men have had it their own way for a long, long time.

Right now, 79 girls in every thousand must and their days as spinsters. That's only how many would remain on the shelf if every min got married. And, of courge, a fair number of

men prefer 10 remain bachelors - the actual number of spinsters is far larger.

There are 80 Trazy saf them, in fact. that they even have a national or- ganisation to protect their interests.

Buyer's Market

The British male hus not failed to notice the situb- tion. For him the marriage exchange has been a buyer's market, and he has been able to operate UR the aBaumption that women will fall all over him.

Thus he has made it plain that he means to be the master of the house. And he usually didn't care too much how he looked. If he preferred to go unshaven, his he figured that, was privilege. If he wanted to let his trousers bag, he did

30.

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY, 20, 1954.

Would your watch have kept

time on the sea-bed ?

the

manera in Rolex Oyster Perpetual. ;: It is not really so Incredible. For · profimeor of Milan University this superb watob, completely pro- weds for a wwigs off Capris Hus she tected from water and mand by the strap-buakie was loose, and his fampos Oyuser waterproof case, is hipka, from file, wziti, and, automatically sound, by, the Pre- sank to the bottom.

petual "rotor mechanian-another Without much hope, the profesor Rolex invention, saked some diyers, worlding nearby. so losep an eye open for his watch Burpelaingly, ven days later, shey actually 'Brund 16, and is wor - selil kasping perfect Nasa,

Heintheirability to slay accurate undermuch incredible tests of endur. anes that Bold watches prova Mlade Emmunity from the more normal

·ille khas Benet an ordinary watchi

“I'm sorry, Archibald~but when I said I'd marry you it was before Somerset House announced there was a surplus of men."

DR STRABISMUS

PRESUME

When the Beachcomber spirit spreads to Fiji, anything can happen-and it usually does! by BERNARD WICKSTEED

Beachcomber Hotel,

Deuba Beach,

Fiji.

EE the name of this hotel where I am staying? It's great

happens has a Beachcomber flavour to it.

Chivalry took a smack in the eye. Men gave up opening the door for their girl friends. In restau The bare-footed : Fijian rants, scores of women porter is a student of Char- could be seen nightly hang- le Suet. He took my lug- ing their own coats on the gage to my bedroom on the peg, pulling out their own back of a tractor. My bed- chairs and even taking the room is in a chalet bill.

the coconut palms hy the

under

Now, since the statis-beach and he could have ticians blabbed, things have carried my cases there in changed.

half the time it took to get the tractor out.

But this is the

the Hotel and driving a tractor.

Pick And Choose Wives can safely stop trotting out the pipe and slippers at night. They can even expect their husbands to show up with flowers and box of chocolates every now and then,

Beachcomber porter

likes

The plumbing in my chalet was clearly designed by a pupil of Doctor Strabismus (Whom God Preserve) of Utrecht,

Soap operas.

19.

MEMO:

If you have evar wondered

about the REAL Beachcomber characters the By The Way originals—these flashback sketches may help. They were drawn in a competition three years ago.

STRABISMUS

NUSTICUZZI

SMART-ALLICK

gods, so he had à man sent out,

and from Hollywood, to come carve some bolter ones,

Dinner is often served late at the Beachcomber because) the walter, the barrnan, and the cook have formed them- selves into `a` Fijian Filthiston Trio and they play local songs for hours under a mongo tree by the front' door, '

The book and the waiter strum, on m orthodox ukulele andya galtar, but the barman, has wonderful one-string con- teddon made out of a bamboo" pola and atdn-gallon petrol drumt. '

When the Filthistan Trio gets | going the entire village turns up to listen. Buses full of pigs, chickens, and passengers pull up and everyone forgets they are going on a journey.

After a short break while the guests at the hotel are fed, the trio return to their mango and the music throbs the sticky night.

Frog ballet

on

into

There is a crize in the Packfle just

hours of the the brighter the F the small coloured shirts, the Brighter

morning I was awakened in bettor. So the Beachcomber has my room at the Beachcomber by sot up a "Shirt Bar where you the patter of tiny feet on the can stand your friends a shirt, palm leaf matting that covers But you have to be careful me the floor. to mix the colours. or you will be sorry in the morning.

of the hotel. In the South Seas fer at the "Beachcomber Arms," a beachcomber is 11 Dort of but they have a wonderful shop tropical tramp who never does called the "Shirt Bar." any work. But, of course, WC know better, don't we? We know who Beachcomber really

The barman at the Beach- ar comber is a likable character. ranged that the soap water, He is named Vatakini, but cannot run away till. It is an everyone calls him Joe. If you inch deep on the floor. Every don't fancy anything he has at time you take a Strabismus the bar, he will climb up a palm shower, and you take several a tree and get you a coconut. | day in this humid climate, you have to send for a Flan giri to mop up the floor.

THE shower bath is so

Girls will be able to pick " and choose. And the man who lets the door slam in his girl friend's face can expect to get slammed right back.

As for any bloke who shows up for a date in a scruffy shirt, decked in two days' growth of beard and minus a haircut, he'll finding up himself. left, on the street

corner.

Now, if you'll excuse me while I slick my hair. ...

The girl who does my mop

is another pleasant Beachcomber character. She studied under Mme Rustiguzi and sings Filan soap, operas white sha moys,

No one hero thinks there is anything funny about the name

The walter is equally willing. if you don't like the sweet he serves, he will pop out into the garden and cut you a fresh pineapple.

I switched on the light and The grounds of the Beach- found the room was full of comber are full of carved pagan frogs There were at least 20 gods which the casual visitor of them hopping about on the might well think were authentic. floor. Fijian. The truth is they were On this trip I seem faled to left

behind by a Mr Sol be dogged by frogs. Hogwasch, from Hollywood. He spent five and a half months IN BERMUDA...it here with his company making species that sat in the trees and a flm about the South Seas, went paep-peep all night,

The letterhead of the Beach comber Hotel shows a Narkover boy sitting at the top of a palm tree walling to drop a coconut on Doctor Smart-Allick. They He won't satisfied with the. don't sell Snibbb or rancid but way the Filians, carved their

SCHINE 1, MARILYN 2

THE

New York. THE G.I.s of Fort Dix, New Jersey, have had their complaints against Private David Schinc-one of Senator McCarthy's ter

rible twins, Cohn and Schine - put on official Army record.

AMERICA COLUMN

from

NEWELL ROGERS

It is very difficult for Dwight California 9,000

Point cadet himself,

miles away,

D. Eisenhower, once # West lured by a TV show "Strike it Rich," which gives people rich

· presents for telling hard-luck stories,

U.S. PLANNERS believe their new atomic air strategy will cut defence costs by - 15,000: million dollars a year.

They would maintain a Deet he was on some kind of special of 40,000 aircraft and cut man- assignment."

power by nearly., 1,000,000.

Whe

@

IN NICARAGUA, on the way from Panama, it was frogs so large that their hides are used to make bedroom slippers.

AND NOW; it is the Beach- comber bullfrog ballet company. They took not the slightest notice of me or the light I switched on, ' mid 'I was puzzled at first about how they got in because the room is supposed to cannot enter... be maled, so that even an insect

· But, of course,llama Strabismus designed room. So,

But the 65 families could not case a few ineccts to get in get in on the show, and they by accident, the architect has had to go on the dole.

left a gap under the door large FOR CHARITY tennis pro-enough for frogs to crawl in fessionals Bobby Rigge

and eat the insects

UP and

It was Gardner Mulloy played-on ice ballet danood

fascinating frog- YOU must not deny work to skates three games in 12 silence here in the corner waa completa members in order to discipline minutes. Mulloy won two games, Lady Cabetanieigh, them, the Supreme Court tells but fell

Mr 12 times to Riggs' Justice. Cocklocarrot trying trades unions,"

eight,

Jook dignified." Foulenough and It rules that it is also llegat TAXI driver Edwards says and the Narkover frogs danced Dingi Fooe were, doing, sólos, Although the hearings are Chapel, West Point, which is for an employer to grant bene convict from the Towa State the chorus.

In groups of two and three they told a special Army Board RETIREMENT or otherwise of of Inquiry of alleged "VIP. an organist is the latest political

treatment” för 20-year-old issie in America. Schino during what is usually rugged basic training.

He is Frederick

the 'Gothic ganist, at

Mayer, or

Codets

secret, Colonel James Fogarty, America's Sandhurat, At 72 he fits to union members while Inspector-General at Fort Dix, is seyen years over the retires denying them to non-union allowed the soldiers to be inter- ment age.

lewed after testifying.

One-youth maid: "Why,

Wo

But Président Truman issued

members.

gool farm made him drive 100 miles at knife-point.

The allegation has started an inquiry into statements that the

SYDNEY GREENSTREET, 200 a special order exempting Me stone British screen villath who 30 sit around for hours in Mayer from the age-limit. Now died in Hollywood a few weeks mates are in the habit of renings in the mess hall General Frederick Irvine, West uggy Tott 150,000 dollars over calling taxi to take them hosing the fat about Schins Point commandant,

here all made since he started pro Chap- of talking about Marilyn Bar Waller Mezat pe 10 alms at the age of 12, 13

dent, Eisenhower to revoke the year ago.

drinking press

DANCER Victori said! her Hol

actor Philip Var alicioni would think 'morb

ine to 200 him riding" order, thus - forcing MAƑ00 - 10 29A 14 PERCENT increase in hen we walked in the traummon against

baying big wonk Mayor

York while wo. he wants to play

and Coca Cola in Brautiful

and

Tward's talking with and avamatanterm

GOBADA Eying governor be

inotor älterzhaa

*went out

of attend!

with

•Now-for me

TWENTY-NINE when ¿Wic

to

years ago,

London Express Service

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