1954-01-20 — Page 4

From New Zealand came thess delightful and amusing starles of the Royal Tour:

THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 1954.

“IT'S ME!” SAID THE QUEEN

I'

By J. C. GRAHAM

the yacht out into the fairway, put her through her paces, and ended by picking up, the moor- ings on return. Said the owner

Auckland. Duke missed a salute from Tis not the big formal an officer on the dais. In occasions but the unre- discreet wifely fashion the hearsed, Informal incidents Queen drew his attention reflectively, "He known all which

proving most to the omission. Quickly there is popular in New Zealand the Duke threw smart

JA

are

know about yachts."

Complete with Price Tage

during the visit by the salute, then, as he entered A group of Maoris took up Queen and the Duke of his car, he grinned broadly

Edinburgh.

the

ut the officer and almost

gave Like the time the Queen surreptitiously heard two small girls argu. "thumbs up" sign. ing whether she was really the Queen or her sister- the time the Duke walked unannounced into a hospital kitchen.

Here are a few of the in- cidents that have endeared New the Royal visitors to Zealanders:-

First Person Singular. At a youth rally the Queen was driving through close- packed ranks of children in

a Land Rover. Above the

positions early to see the Queen pass by on a country road. They were bit grubby and they consumed a largo meal of fish and chips, soft drinks and other dellencies, But D few minutes Right Total, Wrong Hterul before the Royal car was due, An aged Maori knew that whened. The mother opened a large transformation was perform. he was presented to the Royal Fuitense and dressed each of her visitors, two handshakes would

large broodi In brand be involved. But in the excite clothes-complete with price ment of the moment he became tags.

he shook hands confused. So twice with the Queen and walk- e past the smalling Duke with-

his out acknowledging

pre- seher.

Most Surprised

Royal Chauffeur.-One small

as

shrill cheers she heard wi boy wafting to see the visitors very small girls arguing pass demanded indignantly hotly in high-pitched the Royal cor approached,

· Dad, van't the Duke drive?"

tones.

IF

new

POCKET CARTOON

by OSBERT LANCASTER

"And now, Comrades, the People's Melody Makers will play the great_new" Soviet song hit: "How much to that doggie in the Co- Operative?"

Average Russian And Beria

By ALBERT PARRY

"I tell you it's Prince But New Zealanders are gettio in the Soviet street

Margaret," one shouted.

The Queen told a dinner "I couldn't guest later: resist the impulse. I lean ed over and said: 'No, it's me!!

A

Strangled Cry

114 not used to the fort that only ean, but does. Both on official routes, and in completely announced private sightsee- ing tours round elties, the Duke has severni fines taken over the wheel, with the Queen sitting in On the front seat beside him.

when

Prime

past performance is any criterion, the man must have obtained great satin- faction at the arrest, trial and execution of Lavrenti Berin.

Russians who

were

the in Soviet Union at the time of the great purges of the 1030's, but who since escaped, tell us that the general feeling was one of #lee that the oppressors

the those years,

great guessing game was what "be- of the party" would loved son

exterminating one another,

In

•

•

were

such Occasions the chauffeur sits in lonely stute behind, giv ing Instructions on the route.

Most surprised person on one Not Quite Speechless.~~

youthful kitchen-mald drive was New Zealand

Minister. Mr S.G Holland, was washing dishes with with long start on the official become an enemy of the people might and main in the

he was preceeding or "mad-dog agent of foreign procession.

place imperalists," hospital kitchen. She hoped on to the next stopping to get through in time to spanking 80 miles an hour. take a peep at great events were the Royal visitors outside. Suddenly the door was going ahead to announce.

She looked round opened.

Sailing Lesson. When the ensually-then up went the Duke went for in afternoon's tea-towel in A convulsive put on Auckland harbour, the gesture. All she could utter crew were prepared to show anyone

him the tricks of wind and the Was 11 strungled cry: "Oooo-0-0-Philip!"

Up. Attending Thumbs an Air Force purude, the

Coca

"Gott

cur swept past at

A

In he

Ude which make the area a

Berta's arrest must have con- firmned the old native feeling be that anyone in Russia can thrown into gaol, and for any or no reason. Some of this feeling goes back to Czarist times with the well-known folk-saying that

find could

himself "either a convict or a beggar' the Muscovite equivalent of our own jest about the inevitability of death and laxes,

vantage site for those with local knowledge. But they didn't get the chance to air their wisdom. Along the same line there is The Duke took the helm, guided in bitter quip on Soviet ques

Serve delicious

Serve

Coca-Cola

at home

Coca-Cola

to your family and friends

Having Coca-Cola at home is a happy custom. With plenty of Coca-Cola in the

pantry there's always a treat in store for your family and friends. Sparkling Coca-Cola is pure, wholesome refreshment. It goes so naturally with pleasant company and good things to cat. Serve Coca-Cola with meals and snacks or whenever it's time to pause for a delicious, refreshing drink.

Bottled under authority of The Coca-Cola Company by HONGKONG BOTTLERS: First Inn. ULA

question

tionnaires. This one says that in every questionnaire handed out 4 Soviet by a Soviet official to

following citizen the inevitably occurs:

"Have you ever been arrested? If not, wi

why nol?" A trenchant folk- observation the Soviet Union has it tint the entire Soviet population is

three divided into

categories: had the (1) Those who have experience of imprisonment and survived; (2) those who are un der arrest now, and (3) those who are yet to be arrested.

in

The absurd falally of charges in Soviet politient Perimes," as viewed by the people of Russin, popular is Illustrated by thin ancedote:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA D

DEADLY WEDLOCK:

third day

Then the inspector asked me 'Are you

NICKIB, a famous modal, discovers that her husband hos murdered two people. As she cannot give evidence against him while still hip wife she decides to divorțe him--and send him to the pellows. She knows that U he guesses her plan he w!}} kill her too. And then, in 'court, she sees a may the once loved - JEFFREY BARING.

By Leonard Mosley

Tuesday.

LL last night, and again this morning, I have been tole- phoning Jeffrey Baring to ask him how and why he is involved in my divorce, but all I get in the empty burr-burr of an un- answered line.

I have told my counsel that about him and sworn

Was everything between us over long before I met Bristol. I have not been a disloyal or unfaithful wife. My counsel does not seem to be worried.

a murderess?"

Illustration by RO99

Only the thought of that spy

must outside stopped me screaming .

...

Before he could ask anything". more, I looked

"Inspector,

ut

the clock,

shall be late in court-and this divorce means a lot to me. Can't you question

me afterwards?”

He heslated, and then amiled

cgain. "All right. After the adjournment,"

We went down then and tank

a toxi Just before I left him to go into court I said: "Tell ine Inspector, could you prove Cliffords that Lydin

was mur - dered on the strength of her husband's

atory?"

fie shrugged. "It's a matter for the Public Prosecutor to decide. Personally, I think wo should have to know a lot more

and there isn't much time." "Why?" I asked.

"Because Edmund Clifford is a dying man."

"In that case," 1 sold, "you will be interested in my divorce."

THE CHILD

BRISTOL smiled

court

sip

at me

gently from the well of the

From the witness-box I went over and over the sordid cata- logue of a wrecked marringe.

The moment came When Bristol's counsel rose to question

Ho mc.

asked me questions

about my career as a model.

Bristol "Why did you mary Roberts?"

"Because I loved him." "Of course," he said, silky. "Would you say that your change of feeling towards him dates back to the time when you lost your baby?"

"My dear Mrs Roberts," he said, "it may merely be their intention to show that there were other men in your life before you 'married. Evidence to build up

your husband's case that he is to дл understanding, not Bay forgiving, spouse,"

But I know Bristol too has 10 well believe he

Baring Jeffrey brought into the case to make a

He minor effect. have a darker motive.

I hesitated and finally nodded. sat

by the window

Edmund Clifford with the telephone in my

the worried about it, if only he could "You could put it like that?

Counsel Sent forward, "It have found the negligee. Would hand, dialling Jeffrey's number husband of Lydia.

Down below me, in "Well, Eximund Clifford's you know where that negligee was your husband's baby, not once more,

that his explained the street, I could see Bristol's doctor

went to, Mrs Roberts?"

someone else's?" to have some-

"HOW dare

I cried, patient seemed hired epy.

you?" The question came so quietly "Of course it was Bristol'a!" There

a ring at the front thing on was

kept his mind. He

I didn't down door and I put

name and that for a I!"

the muttering his wife's

Sald the judge: "What are went to answer saying: Lydia didn't kill herself. take it in, and then I put my you getting at, Mr Squires?" Before the Red teacher could telephone and

hand to my mouth. For I

hurriedly interposed "Only," recover from his surprise, an-it. A youngish, pleasant-looking She was murdered.""

"Mrs He looked

the counsel, about

"that my client also other adult pupli rose from his man was standing there.

at me as he said remembered seat:

Roberts? I'm Inspector Rayner it. "Yes, Mrs Roberts. Murdered negligee remembered Bristol has no doubt now that the chlid

stuffing it into his coat-remem- was

his, but that suggestions of Scotland Yard. May 1 come was the word be used."

And, as

I said: "He didn't mention bered where it went when we were made to him at the in and talk to you?"

time got back to the house. But that such was not the case" I hesitated: "I'm quite genuine, murder at the Inquest."

"He admits that he was angry Here are my credentials,”

"Clifford said he didn't dis- couldn't speak. cover it until too late. It was

his wife when THE PORTRAIT

•

A teacher in a Moscow even- ing school for adults asked:

Likutsky, who wrote ifam- let?"

torn boots, Shaking In Likutsky got up to answer:

"Not I. comrade teacher, not

his

"I em the local representative of the secret police, comrade teacher, I know Likutsky. He can be trusted. If he says he didn't do it, well then, he didn't do it, you can Be sure of that."

But later that evening a tele- call reached the teacher phone

his lodgings:

ת!

"This is the secret police, com-

rade teacher. You know, your

I

LED

him into the flat and poured him a cup of coffee, "Do you recognise this por-

question made us think twice. trait?" he asked, watching me We arrested Likuisky and grill- || closely,

ed him, and he confessed every- thing He did write Hamlet after

al."

•

•

And that is the Soviet yarn about three men in a Moscow prison cell, comparing notes on their misfortune, Said one:

"I was tried and convicted for meligning comrade Karl Radek. 1 was accused of saying that Radek was Rightist "devis-

tionist."

1

"Oh yes," nodded one of his cell-mates. "I remember your case well. You sec, I Was (Continued on Page 8, Col. 8)

"Yes,"

I said. "It's Lydia Clifford, She's dead."

He nodded. "That's Mrs Roberts. Did you her?"

my

Yes,

moment

now.

evidence

"Clifford says that despite this and unjust to only when he went through his he wouldn't have suspected he told him of her condition

but we shall bring wife's bureau that he found a murder," Inspector Rayner went orward that. In the, elreum- half-finished letter, Mrs Roberts, on, "but a week after the wid

threatened to funeral in which Lydia

cleaning 4

stances, and at the time, woman thought he was justified. M'lud. report Dr Roberts to the Medical brought these to hir Council for unprofessional con- duct."

THE NEGLIGEE

he

the whole case for the defendant

The inspector drew a pair of is that he still loves his wife, is dovastated by the bringing of net gloves from an envelope.

this case, and believes he can "Do you

think these gloves restore the marriage and win

back his wife's love. He admits would fit you, Mrs Roberts?"

many of the things his wife has "Don't be coy, Inspector," I charged him with and is deeply wald. "They are mine."

sorry for them,"

right. E stopped as if expecting me

HE know to say something, but when I stayed silent he went on "She

husband's "Then he got to thinking about for patient. No. I didn't know her things. He remembered,

"Yes," he said. "They have well."

instance, that when he left his your initials on them-N.F.T.-- "Never visited her in her wife on the evening she died Nicola Forbes-Temple. Did you home, for instance?"

she was wearing a Sowered drop them?" "I don't understand,” I said

negligee "Don't you?

**What?" Then perhaps I Last Friday

had better explain.

night we had a Kensington doctor,

must have done,” I said.

The Inspector stood up, and

"A flowered negligee, Mrs his Emile venished, and he call from a Roberts. But when he came was the stern policeman all of He asked us home and found her body sho a sudden. "Did you klu Lydla if we would go and see one of was wearing a dressing-gown. Clifford, Mrs Roberts?" # his patients-a man named Clifford says he wouldn't have

"No."

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

W

HILE Mr Eisen- the

hower

THE JUDGE

COUNSEL turned to me. "Mrs

✔ Roberts, you do belleve me, don't you, when I tell you that

my client is desperately anxious

to remain married to you?"

"Yes," I said, "I believe that," "He still loves you, in fact?" "No."

I said. "he loathes me

"He

and hates me and fears me."

| And turning to the

went on: "My

please believe me,

judge,

please,

10% it is not

love that moves my husband to preserve this marriage. He Just doesn't

At me to be

You haven't hidden his lunch, merk as much as

rest

of his life will be collars while the world is burn-

toot

Of course I have.

and Sir spent counting "ands" and ing, can't you, chum?

"the"; and if he is married, Winston Churchill and spending all his evenings Boys Will Be Girls

are trying to stop the world on the job, you could hardly

from blowing itself

up,

blame Mrs Clarke for hoping

that somebody would blow up SENDING & Alter to Coventry

world and Mr

morrow.

but I

can't concentrate on the 'thes' until I am certain about the 'anda,'"*

while rich men are trying to buy up hotels before they and the hotels are blown up

"I think I shall have to with it, and while excep- count the 'anda' again, dear." tionally mean and crafty "I thought you were count- people were delaying the ing the "ther.'" purchase of presents until "Yes, dear, the Inst moment in case everything went bang be fore Christmas, there is a Mr Thomas William Clarke quietly counting the num ber of times the word "the" appears in the Bible.

Mr Clarke has already added up the "ands." His total was 54,708, But he is not at ali sure If he is right.

one

"There might be two more" ho told a porter. "You can miss Occasionally."

them

-

The report does not give detalle, ilko most reports, 01 Mr Clárko's age, height, weight, and colour of eyes and hair, if any. Nor does It say if he is married.

because he has worked during the engineers' token aircraft sirike at the Hawker

commentator of a girls' school.

I say, you are awful.

Keyhole Snoop

1

to my own astonish- wyong qise's

think, Jin the circum-

burst into tears

You

stances,

sald, "that we might adjoume are things about this case which are not clear to me. I think before, I hear any of the

for Witnesst

the REPORT from America says petitioners I could like to hear A

it divorce Agures de tren havaiable tomorrow? works at Blackpool reminds a give an accurate picture of that ho

marital unhappiness..., in

The judge Remember, boys. The fore- United States

ther Carb man says nobody to speak to many thousands of married. I tur

husband 11

them They'll belle couple lying in

in open hosound" nic ulity

verything he aşam

Counsel posted my hand, but I know he argo with me i

George for six months.

Six years would suit me, I'm sure. Nosty, stuck-up thing. When he tried to speak to me: I looked straight through

"If you count the 'ands' how do you know which again and get a different result him.

will be right?"

You ard 4 scream, Ray-

опо When he tried to speak to me I said, "Ooh, what was that? Did the wind blow?" "With your help and encour- agement, dear, I shall have to mond. count them all over again."

Cave, chaps. Ho's coming over here to look for his This is where the old Punch

"collapse

spanner. *of stout party" would be Justl- fed if there is a Mrs Clarke and if she is a stout party.

'NOTHER ·ostrich with hir A head well in the sand is a correspondent of Reveille, who writes:

Where did you hide it? Never mind. Turn your backs,

And stop giggling, everybody. Leonard

I can't help it, really I can't. Did I hear somebody ask for a

panner?

I thought it was somebody miking to borrow a tanner.

Raymond, I alwaye raid you

ought to be on the stage..

▾

“The dame of the "y ind vestigator is not given, hat is allil Interesțing to sak how he derived at his pgnclusions and what s definition,q

open hostilliyy

Did

the

av out of the

,";

THE VOICE M

Couples WHEN I got butside the court throw crockery, as each ather WI looked round for Inspector while he was their anest, or Rayner, but I could not see mall pack ther hat are push bristol' dameyout, und wie ma

lot other when he kiss as we went;

with Edina

mel, or fight long and breath Vane behind him, still looking

duels with · Kitchen

But

at least Jeffrey stony. utensils and fire tongs?

had not been In court Baring today, so I was net, worried

Then

Did they

esch other,

alber?. Or, dia

alick

pine

bile

much

they

Just

Pramod

about him.

and

I bought

myselt A

meat

glare at each other amutter Insulte as they on the sisirs?

did none

If they

nover Blood

the

I know somebody else who with a notebook while crock-

What as?

went into a cinema.

It was late when I got home.

of these The little spy was still outde. I had just opened the door of things in his presne kitchen the But when I felt someone

behind

me, but before I could "Whenever I go out with a ought to be on the stage, too. ery whizzed, about his oats, it see who it was I Was bundled girl and get a lip stick stain

ho never acted as referee as the inside and the door was closed. "Nicola," said a volce, and an on my white collar I write on As Tarzan of the Apts. When struggling forms of his host and

around my waist it the name of the girl and I first saw his chest I thought hostess fought it out on the arm came the date. If I am ever de- he was wearing a hearth-rug. dining-room floor, it aimelt "Dear Nicole, how nice to be pressed out comes my collec Oh, stop it, Raymond, I to understand how he know with you again.

It was only the thought of. in open 'He's going to look for tiey were Eving · FREE THAT Lớn litley / cubelde Whit vanishes in a flood of roman shall die in a minute.

hostility apanner somewhere else now. I can only suggers that ho prevented me froin, screaming. -An Elsonhower'k speech - doos Do tell me where you hid mayed the night and Urterind st.

NEXT:' Scotland keyhole as they curved eich ệ not seem to have made a big it. Please, Raymond, But if he belongs to the Impression on: Malenkov“ you si în the same place where 1 other to siner, last ontegory - As posma nge it can always fiddle with your hid his lunch.

So we may never know ·· If he is “40-yodr-old, öft. Gin, 17 stone, blue-eyed, fair-haired Mr Clarka" or "30-your oid, 8ft. 10in 11 stone, brown-eyed, dark-haired lär Clarka” or just *70-year-ola, 1-8ft. nothing, * 7 stone, grey-eyed, balding M Clarks)

tion of collars and my sadness ·

tio memories."}

(World Copyright()