1954-01-06 — Page 4

FRENCH LESSON FOR SUEZ NEGOTIATORS

By Patrick Maitland, M.P.

t

THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6, 1954.

LONDON. For conclusion of the Heads the French hesitation to ratify VENTS in the Suez of Agreement is, in normal inter- the European Army Treaty. The

liko diplomacy,

E Canal ares, dismissed agreement to buy a property, full

an document was signed without the full and undoubled assurance the French Parliament would accept it, and the French Parliament has been vacillating and manoeuvrlog ever since.

ed the House of Commons agreement is made. But the

have

to do the debate on the Big Three lawyers

conveyancing, to complete the talks. And they led to transfer from soller to buyer. statements by the Foreign If the buyer, having signed the Secretary Mr Anthony Eden agreement of bale, refuses to which may mark a new de conclude the velopment in British Parlia- breaks his contract. mentary conduct of foreign relations.

conveyance,

he

What may be new in the Egyptian context is the declared resolve of the Foreign Secretary to proceed with the Egyptian Hends of Agreement, followed

In the same way any Govern- ment which has concluded Heads by a Treaty, upon terms that Lord Reading, Minister of Agreement then declines to have been published by Egypt,

the relative treaty, remain complete

undenied by

position,

Britain, of State, Foreign Office, ex- porn bick cn its own pledged but are condemned both by And therefore a dovern- some Government supporters plained to the House of word. Lords that the Government ment is bound, when it brings and some members of the Op- could not submit to debate the Heads of Agreement to the House, to make the issue a on the subjects now under matter of confidence. For its negotiation with Egypt, but word has been pledged. suld that any treaty with

Egypt would require rati- Party Majority

fication, and that the House could debate it before it took

effect.

This is also, of course, why nxious critics

the among Bul 1 the Commons the Government buckbenchers have called for the present offer to Foreign Secretary seemed at one

He said Cuirs to be withdrawn. They do stage to go further. thot at present he was only not wish lu see the Government alone of face "Heads

danger, let negotiating Agreement" for later incorpora- humiliation, of being repudiated tion in a formal treaty with the by Parliament if it proceeds with

the present proposals. phraseology

Bucha proper to document.

Two Stages

were

But as soon as the Heads of Agreement

agreed, Me Eden probe! he would publish that afcerumi 11 and big it to the House for debate.

This

wrs saldi to reassure the se who had doubted the

173

the

candidates and their formally

I is unusual for Governinenta to become entangled in inter- national negotiations which they

will have no certainty

be nccepted by their own frusted supporters. A Government holds office

of its party by virtue majority, although it may, at any moment, be kept in office by Parlament that majority of the Members, though not the whole body of its own supporters. For the Constitution wisdom of the present offer 1 has no knowledge of parties. Egipt and the good faith of the Even at elections Nagub regime. The implication stand as individuals seemed to be net only that the

organisations party debute the matter dissolve. House could but

irrevocable that nothing

by would be beenmplished

Dj- Nevertheless, it is the practice proving the leads of Agreement. of Parliamentary governments to negotiate International agree- Indeed said Mr Eden: "If we regelt these Heads of Agreement, ments only in terms they can be their Parliamenta will then the House will have every

accept and endorse, Ordinarily. opportunity to discuss them....

that means certainty of their The position of the House #

party majority remaining intact. doubly safeguarded,

One example of what have the happen if this is disregarded

trouty

"Normally, a Government and a Foreign Secretury perfect right

tu

from 1bis without any sanction House at all, and then. If he is u wie

Secretary, he Foreign brings the treaty in due course to the House for its expression of opinion."

It appears, therefore, that twe stages of reference to the House one when the are projected,

Heads of Agreement are agreed, the other when the signed treaty requires ratification.

Innovation

If the Foreign Secretary pro

poses tu submit

the Heads of

Agrdement to the House, with

the possibility that they might

be repudiated.

this

a major innovation.

would be

But in the course of his re- further ex- marks Mr Eden plained that, once he had got the Heads of Agreement, he would carry on whatever happened. He said: "The premise which I will not give to the House is that it we reach the Heads of Agrсe- ment we will not go on and try to prepare the treaty."

So Mr Eden was not, in fact, varying at all from constitutional custom nor, apparently, was he giving any further opportunity critics that could his

the nffect .necessarily

either way.

to

isaue

sure

can

is

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and for which the official Opposition has only pledged its support in the most general terms.

It seems, therefore, that Me Eden is proceeding on the as- sumption that 'be will be sustained by a sufletent number on both sides. But that, in effect, la what the French Government did with EDC.

MAO suggests that since China is bigger than Russia and he older than Malenkov, the headquarters of Communism (including the Lenin-Stalin relics) be moved to Peking

OLD LOW'S ALMANACK

An American

TARANTINO7|53|

PROPHECIES FOR 1954

Warid Copyright by amangement with the Manchester Quantion

London

WHY DON'T

ENGLISH

LIKE US?

by

BEN

asks

THE

DUNCAN

"I was born in 1927 in Birmingham, Alabama," says Duncan. My father travelled, so I went to for different schools before I was eighteen. want west to the University of New Musica for three years, and gut a B.A. in English m 1950. I came on a Henry Fellowship to Christ Church, Oxford. In 1950. When I got my 8.A. m 1952 i liked England too well to leave, so I started working for a London basinias firm, whaeo I have been over utmeg. A

The third-and this is the hardest to swallow is that the English resented Marshali Ald. They did not like being helped, so they snapped at the hand that fed them.

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

A

autumn

CCORDING to a nows- Well, not quite. But If you paper which is offer return to your stova you will And that those ashes were not ing prizes for "Bright so dend as you thought they Ideas" in the home there is' were. Your neat litția parcel is a woman who made a lamp mouldering like an

bordire, standard out of four broom

Don't stand thero

staring handles and two bread at 154 Pick it up smartly boards, another who makes run as fast as you êan for the

and kottle holders out of the dustbin, stop using that shoulder pads of her old lthy language. Yes, of course tha kitchen door leading to the clothes, yet another who garden is shut. And of course puts the alarm clock in a the parcel will have to be put somewhere while you glasa diah so that the rattle down

on

is certain to wake the entire open it

All right, put the parcel household, and a man who the kitchen table

If you must. irons his tie each morning quickly, now. baforo your at breakfast with the hot moustache is alight. There you

teapot.

go, knocking the bottle of milk on to the floor. So, as there's no and tea for you now, you might as

well

that stinking frying pan.

turn the gas out

As these ideas are evidently intended to save

time money may I suggest that with more skill and initiative a fectory table might be made out of six broom handles and half a toast. dozen bread boards?

That

and

tho

old

shoulder

re-

under And

the gas out under the faming

But you can't do much about the flaming newspapers holding pada

might be collected from friends the flaming ashes. They're pro-

neighbours and used to perly alight,

No, don't call the fire brigade. stuff pillow

Not moke room

yet. Fill a jug with water and pour it over the flames, Fili never come again.

another and pour it over the That if you put

10

in the guests' certain they

the

plarm

clock in a biscuit tin you could

wake the entire neighbourhood? And that, in a large family,

raight be economical, though not appetising, if the daughters of the house ironed their smalle at breakfast when dad had finished with the hot teapot?

Breakfast For One

test. And fill another and pour it into the frying-pan language.

And slop using

that filthy

'Meet Mr Lucifer'

the stench of APART from

burning fat and paper there was also a faint smell of sul- phur. Therefore

I was not at

all surprised to see the head of So for themselves when hat with hors sucking through

many chaps are obliged to

a little man, wearing a bowler living alone or when their it appear at the open kitchen wives are away that N. Gub-

10- window. bins, Esq., who also writes un-

It was my old acquaintance. of Mal Mr Lucifer. der the pseudonym Manger, the world's worst chef, has written series of articles on how to prepare tasty meals for one and cope with household chores at the same time.

The first, based on personal deals with break- experience,

fost,

"Good morning, Mr

bins," he said,

Gub-

said: "Good morning." "A epot

01

bother,

Mr

"You

Gubbins?"

can sco

Mr Lucifer."

for yourself,

"When I saw to much smoke focl

When alone it is always ad-

and flame it made me visable to rise early before the quite at home. Have you scen slow burning stove has gone out the papers Otherwise you will spend most

of the morning either coaxing

Gubbins

this morning. Bir

tiny spark into a glowing mass them yet, Mr Lucifer." puts the

have

change his own, perfectly satis puts the food Into his mouth factory, life.

with the fork in his left hand, LONDON, the debate ended in an uproar.

An American puts

hia knite HAVE been in Eng- My American friends left quiet

down each time and land for three years. I ly by the back door, hoping the

food into his mouth with the British sense of fair play would went to an English

fork in his right hand. prevent actual violence. university, and I work for

notleed that when I do this There are plenty of other

people look at me as though I an English firm. I like the ways to see anti-American feel

to eat I do not like any of these ox- had never been laught English a lot better than ing in action. Watch the audi- planations. They are too politic- properly. If I were a real

exo in any theatre when a most English people. I en- comic American

al. They do not explain why foreigner, everyone would have on the individual Englishmen take smiled at this charming foreign joy being in England more

dislike to individual Americans. custom. than anywhere else.

Because I take such a rosy view of England. hm

I pained by the fact that most people here do not really like Americans very much. surprise

I sometimes

my

friends by telling them so. I an equally surprised that they hadn't noticed for themselves.

A real dislike for Americans

is not far below the surface of English good manners.

Apply the test

If anyone is not convinced of this, I can tell him how to find out for lilimself. Let him;

----TRY getting a reasonably- priced hotel room on Satur- đay night by telephoning in an American accent. He

be may lucky, but the chances are he will not. I tried to get a room once On a Saturday night in London. After 1

turned down by three places, a

kind English friend offered to tele- phone for me. He got one on the Arst try.

W.GH

comes

BEN DUNCAN

"Treat us like foreigners."

stage. The looks on their faces cannot be put down to good ASK the opinion of a wait clean fun.

the

this

0

disappoint me time. He said: "The reason why we do not like you is that we think of you the wrong way. We think of you English, not

ал

I decided to ask my barber. Everyone says how lucky it is He is called Albert Saphier, and that the same language is spoken I have found he often knows in America and England. I am right answers to my ques- not so sure, I am not even sure tions about England.

that they are the same language, He did no:

wis In chemist's in High Street, Oxford,

U- when looking American soldier asked In a weak voice for quinino. He The rhymed it with high-nine. assistant curtly told him sho'd never heard of it,

When I

translated, she skip- ped away happily and returned with the bottle, I am sure that if he had asked for quinine Arable, he'd have gotten courteous treatment.

as foreigners."

This made sense to me.

Dirty looks

look

I had noticed that an Austrian In leather shorts and with a sort of shaving brush in his hat could walk down a London street and nobody would twice. But if an American op- peared in a suit only slightly different in cut and slightly brighter in colour than an Eng- lish suit he got dirty looks from the passers-by.

19

Black sheep

in

more

The English may think of us as unruly, coarse, bad-manner- od, humouries, pompous, and corrupted by years on the wrong side of the Atlantic-but The Austrian is a foreigner, they still think of us as English. They know that we are morn so you do not question what he

offusive docs. But the American

than they are at first practically an Englishman, so he meet

meetings, ought to know

that we talk a bit better than to louder and in

funny accent, wear those outlandish clothes, but they do not really think On a Frenchman or an Italian,

we're

foreigners. We may

bo La ress or a shop assistant any-. Or spend a day in any Eng- the same clothes would be all the black sheep, but we arn where in the West End of Lon- ish county town with an right. Americans do not get the still members of the family. don. They are near enough to American air baso

You English may be willing near by same patient treatment. the American Embassy

not In Even the airmen who do

I am sure very few people in to act like Indulgent fathers. Grosvenor Square meet behave like soldiers abroad are England admit that they think but we don't want to be your plenty of Americans. They will heartily disliked.

of Americans as Engilsh, I see juvenile delinquents. tell you if they tell you the you collar an Englishman that it is a jarring thought. But Wo Bre

Americans

We are truth that they would ship the and ask him why, you get one next time you feel your anger not English. It's Q mistake whole lot back tomorrow it of three answers,

rise at a pair of gaberdine try to improve Anglo-American they had the chance,

The first is that England rau trousers or a Stetson, try to re- relations by pretending we are Q-ATTEND any public meat- the world so long that she does member that they are Ameri- more alike than we are.

ing la England where not like anyone elsa In the cans and see if you don't cool Americans were treated with America is discussed.

running.

off.

tolerance reserved for It need not be in London. The second is that everyone is When an Englishman is ent- foreigners, we would like

cach Another American

American friend of afraid

power may ing with a knife and fork, he other botter.

10

mine visited Glasgow University when an American team had been asked to debato the sub- Jeet, Should England Become the 49th State?

An uproar

The American debaters treat-

ed the subject as the joke it was to them. They were dis- mayed when their Scottish op- ponenta arose and seriously at- tocked the arguments they put forward na pure fun,

Now Available -

1953 GILES ANNUAL

the

SHE SOUGHT FAME AND

FORTUNE IN

RUSSIA

By ERNEST ASHWICK

"I have had no me to read "When you do read them 1 expect you'll

be rother noyed. They've made

a Eating Studios called 'Meet. Mr

"Why should I be annoyed?" "Mr Lucifer'

always Was

of coals or raking out hot ashes and

kindling the stove with paper, wood, and firelighters.

rise you

late there

will be probably aapark the

size of a sixpence still visible in, the Lucifer, stove. The problem is whether to riddle the stove and

chance

film at

raking the only spark into the the name you gave me when- ashtray below, or open

the ever I was mentioned in your

ITC

draught hoping the spark will column. Don't you think the Increase and multiply into more title has been adopted, to sparks,

a polite term.?"

It opened

might have Assuming you have

веста Mr the draught you then put the Lucifer."

"One of your grave faults, kettle on, get in the milk, and

from

Mr a frying pan and heat it

my point of view,

extreme your the gas before you slap in two Gubbins, rashers and a couple of pricked tolerance."

"I believe in tolerance, sausages. Prieking sausages with a fork is supposed to prevent Lucifer." them from bursting, but as it nover does, please yourself.

50

OVET

to

Mr

always be imposed upon, If this had happened to an intolerant per · von I could have magnified it into a real grievance.

"Therefore you will

"I daresay you could, Mr Lucifer."

embarrassing Aren't you

fust

consequences. a little bit

Then back to your stove see what has happened to that spark. A thousand to one It has disappeared, so your next move is to riddle. When you havo riddled madly for half a minuto ' you will find that the spark was

"I could have worked him up there all the time, hiding itself into state of uncontrollable under the ashes, and is now in anger and perhaps even tempted the

ashtray, where it is useless him into an assault, with all ite

back to the bacon and sausages, to turn them in the pon. While you are there you might as well toast some slices angry, Mr Gubbins?" of bread under the grill.

Lucifer." Then back again to the stove,

"Aren't vou just a little bit where you fall on your knees cross about what has happened en attitude of supplication, in your house this morning?"

the pretty little doors, open

Just a tiny bit, Mr Lucker." out the front section (80 “Oh, splendid," Mr Gubbins. that you can shovel out the Are you cross enough to leave muck), and drop it with "a this cold place, with its u£}= curse.

stove, at once and coms lighted Well, of course It's hot with me to a luxurious, steam- The stove has been in all night,. heated

fat?" even if it was out when you got "Not at once, Mr Lucifer."

11 || "You remember The Widow, Yes, there is a smell of burn. Mr. Gubbine? She is still wait- ing. It is probably the toast. So ing for you there and asking back you go again to find your after her dear Nat, m slices of bread in flames. Cut some more slices, turn the sausages and bacon again and return to the stove with a shovel and several sheets of news papera.

in

lift

to

up.

Geneva, loving music and freedom. At work had robbed her fingers of

A Dm threadbare two sought on Radio Moscow. she their tough.

roomed flat over a nar

The sheets of newspapers are intended to be used; as a kind of holdall to carry the ashes

"Really, Mr Lucifer?" "She is eternally young and more beautiful than ever. You could have an early lunch with her today after one of hipp delicious cocktails."

"Not today, Mr Lucifer." "And dinner with her tonight: after more cocktails. Tomorrow

she might even bring the kitchen and garden into the your breakfast in bed," dustbin. So place them, two or three layers thick, in front of

from the dining-room, through morning

"Be

again, shovel, out the

Archbishon, MT

Lucifer. The

of Canterbury might "Breakfast In bed.

the stove, crash down on your be reading this.” knees muck, empty everything into the newspaper, and make up neat little parcel.

Mr

Gubbins?" 171 think Lucifer."

It byer,

Hey,

Mr

“Please do, Mr Gubbins. It's

tele the old Maida Vair phone number," ()

Good-bye, Colonel Chips

The Americans quickly changed their tone. They tried to think of serious argumenta for a motion they thought was

But instead of artistic freedom

It was

only two years ago, sheerest nonsense. "They were row nolay street in old she found dn atmosphero of through a Soviet-Swiss friendly Yor, that is the Ild of the so heckled and interrupted that Geneva is paradise-at-last to suspicion that daeponed re- organisation, that her mother kettle rattling up and down,

61-year-old Yvonne Bovard, morselessly.

beard that she was still alive. proving once more the power Eventually, She has just returned to it Russo-German pact of 1939, together to send her food and But what is the hiring and

soon after the

of steam which inspired the in- Friends in Geneva clubbed vention of the loam engine. and her mother after à 17-year Yvonne was arrested at night clothes. They were delivered at spluttering that spunds like 100 search for fame and fortung at after Radio Moscow as a violinist,

her usual radio par the camp but Yvonne was cats locked in a death struggle? formance..

ordered to pay the customs duty Why you silly goose, you've on the goods.**

over-alled the kettle and IV" reason for the sudden Unable

explosion [in Parliament Without explanation or triki,'

to do so, she saw bolling over into your frying about the refusal to grant high- But within three yours of she was wont to Siberia. There them confiscated and

pan full of bacon, sausages, and ez pensions to officeraty of the leaving her mother, her hopes abe was forced to Tabour, is to Geneva.

191 18 war was the general were smashed. And for the last Barracked in a concentration For monthe the

the Swim Legation No wonder the kitchen's tu)

| full expectation) that the Govert= 14 years the has been road camp at Lonimelek, cut off com- ki Moscow has been trying to off ham and blue smoke par- ment would, give the outcard Building in Siberia, hearing, no pletely from the world he know obtain her releden, er lány vatanda music but the clatter of pions: the watched vi har hende, grow of Now Yvonne w back, wlihout tone Is on fra anay

Hoularty at your second log" of who are now dying of rapidió

*the 944 percent they! Yout and, ahovels, tre

w much and callousedramos fame for sine for tests, and lif more thark Kinond cornina: 1959.22-Troni fem Daily A brillant young artiste, the the: Communists left her at the wants to my tx Phod; it's from the dining room, too. Can great

But the, bitter hard good to be home again. K the whole house be aight

$5.

SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST LTD., HONG KONG & KOWLOON.

That was the thought,

where land, conta

she

true.