POCKET CARTOON by OSBERT LANCASTER
"The frids jurling ways she's not as bad as Vivien Leigh but much worse thun Blizabeth Taylor."
BARBS COCHRAN
•
A lot of folk sing with feel- ing, but not for other people.
its value | provking" about half at the
world's conversation vulput,
Ignorance
A golf rule says a player can- not change his lle. When you once tell your score, stick to it.
It takes an awful lot of prac- tice to learn to kiss like an amateur.
I
You can't do inuels some sort of backing, banker. Except make an dress,
without says a evening
A British Crossword Puzzle
12
סון
14
15
18
14
15
18
19
16
20
21
24
25
26,
28
27
ACROSS
Sounds made by dogs (5).
Safe (6).
#Half-open (4),
Hunt around (0),
11 Bury (8).
12 Summary (0),
14 Entreals
(4).
18 Minimum (5).
18 Rough (5).
10 Saucy (1).
21 Looking-Alass (0).
cumposition (5).
24 Sal illusion (G).
25
26 Sometimes used
with
hammer (4).
27
Scoop
(5).
28 Place of worship (8).
DOWN
Tender (4).
2 Fish (4):
3 Anger (4),
4 Ousts (0).
5 Stig hair (7).
6 Withdraw (7).
Thoroughfares (7). .
16 Equipped (5).
13 Disgrace (7).
1 Bird (7):
14
15 Relevant (7).
17 Mistuke (5);
19 Allow (8),
a 21 Vex (4).
22 Grate (4).
23 Lake (4).
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD.-Across: 1 Picks, 4 Listom, 8 Loiter, 10 Cater, 12 Aerate, 14 Enforce, 17 Test, 19 Laments, 20 Careful, 12 Erin, 23 Sisters, 27 Behest. 20 Evade, 30 Erring, 31 Toddle, 32 Trent, Down: 1 Pulse, 2 Chief. 3 Spear, 5 Inca, 6 Satoen, 7 Merits, 9 Recluse, 11 Attest, 13 Realise. 16 Near, 10 Opened, 18 Stir, 20 Cement, 21 Ribald, 24 Strut, 25 Exile, 20 Sight, 28 Hen),
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1958.
A doctor advises people to take up blke riding to reduce. They're bound to fall off n bit,
uri
ก
Every child will grasp straw you stick it in an ico cream soda.
ما
If you want to find out if there are splinters in the ladder success, just try sliding down.
The Clubland
girls
are all so healthy
CLUBLAND HEROES, by Richard Usborne. Con- stable. 15.
H
TOW splendid they were -the heroes of those novels of our youth with their unlimited leisure, A 10-year-old girl had her their large, uncarned In- phtall cut off by a teen-ager comes, their endless adven- behind her in A movie. The tures. little mip!
The majority of girls these days inven't the face to deny that they use make-up.
$
NEW BOOKS
by ROBERT BLAKE
mond Blair, the ex-Balliol man, who has taken to the bottle and inhablis Dutch Joe's gin hell in the island of Tampico. But on the whole the heroes are English and the villains either foreigners or in the pay of foreigners,
Then there is their inpeccable
|
PARADE
MUCH ADO Joo Mankiewicz VESTED
Spanish fathers told thela ABOUT AVA (say it Mank-4- INTEREST have
they daughters witz), the man analysis, but he has written a who made "All About Eve," and mustn't go walking with Ameri very amusing book which will "Julius Caesar," was in London soldiers without parental give pleasure to many of the looking for an unknown girl to permission. numorous readers of the star in his latest film to be made romances that he dissects.
Fin Italy.
con
Their fears are moral and Honest Joe knew exactly what monetary, MORE FOR TIMOTHY
he wanted and he saw nearly In Spain, a father gola A being the 2nd volume of 000 girls trying to find it.
sizable sum from a prospective She must read lines ilke husband the autobiographical letter
for his daughter's clothes- trousseau,
and Spaniards are by Victor Gollancz (Victor Diana Wynyard; wear
like a model; move like afraid the Yankees will balk at Collanex, 12. 6d.).
the iden,
papa's
volumes
dream."
She must have "the body
She must be between 18 and
From the ages of ten to
poor Timostry. He will have an animat and the face of n put in some hard work by countess and speak English and fifteen, or evcu older, we were all of us, except for a social background. The heroes the time ho has finished Grand-sound Spanish."
letter, Two few contemptible, intellec are usually members of several already and more to come. What 29 An orator is anyone who cun tuals who read Aldous Hux- London clubs, and "good" ones, will he have earned at the end explain to a barber exactly howley, thrilled by the storing too, like the Athenacum or the of the second volumet
Guards, They are nearly always of Berry and Co., or Sandy sucated
schools, at the best
Well bo *will know the Bulldog Eton or Harrow; but not on the detailed history Arbuthnot, or It's hard to look prosperous Drummond. True, there were whole at Winchester where, no of the conflict unless you have a good job,
doubt, they might have become which counod persons who con- bookworms
slil, the and hard to land
good job un-severe
radical demned such frivolous, and, acquired less you look prosperous.
as they would no doubt have polities.
lie wants his hair cut.
-
A stocking tled under the said, "escapist" literature chin, says a beauty consultant, will improve the liars of theon the ground that it dis- face. Don't, however, sock on the jaw.
•
•
•
try
[
A famous ballerina had her legs insured for $50.000. A los of pin money.
Try to make podle think you are the big elleese and it doesn't take long to make yourself. the offensive kind.
•
man temporarily lust his valce after his first plane ride. It doesn't cost much, men, to take the good wife up..
tracted youth from the
or,
worse
viewo
of
then
master of Repton, to sack Grandpapa
in
1918 from his
post as a tem- pornty
master
In fact the Clubland Heroes graver issues at stake like Collective Security, or the are pretty sharp on radicalism. Bulldog Drummond's short way League of Nations Union, or Bull towing agitators would the Improvement of the command the admiration even
of Senator McCarthy. People.
Grandpupa Their energy and toughness
But we ignored their admont- tions, cast aside our copy of the New Statesman and plunged ever deeper into Bilnd Corner or the Black Goog.
at that school,
he is lucky, un- derstand why
He may,
•
LAST Old Charlie shuffled SHUFFLE blowly along the Tuviera's lush pro-
Mr Mankiewicz went from mentides, his hand hold out for
and England to France
from franes, his beard tangled, his France to Italy, always search- clothes filthy. ing.
Then one day he declied от his "unknown" girl. And after all the dizzy descriptions, who do you think has all the necessary qualifications?
Why AVA GARDNER (20 years old).
Well, would you
He looked the poorest of the French of a scholar. poor yet he spoke the polished
One night recently, two men hauled him from the park bench wire he slept (40 yards from Nico police station), beat him to death. and took £360 from his pockets,
Nice Assize court sentencod
the
THE OLD RED WOLF believe it! Here's an echo of tho
two to a life of hard-labour old Czarist days from the prop- and revealed Old Charlie'n agandist Kremlin.
history. Nows, the English magazine. The necent was genuine. Old published In Moscow, says: Charlie was
once a respected The Moscow Hunting Society, professor at the University of
of the Paris, that the founded in 1944, is one
cluba in bunting
Dolaner
thinks
the
is tremendous, As Mr Usborne abolition of corporal punishment largest The fight against
even
to
carried on
ог
observes it is quite exhausting will help towards abolishing the country...
Buchan read some than atom bomb (p. 149) and why the wolves in novels, such are the feats of condemnation of the murderer ganised fashion. In the past LOST Time," as the ads say.
the three years more than 340 TIME is the art of the Swiss,
But they aren't so hot at physical endurance imposed on Craig is connected with
wolves have been shot." In a most entertaining and the hero. It goes without hydrogen bomb (p. 100),
Wolves on
the outskirts of keeping track of it.
Winess two Swiss salesmen enjoyable book Mr Usborne saying that all Clubland Heroes
Moscow! most
He will discover that Grandpa
the What Is
arrested after trying the oldest Russian analyses the works of Dornford are first-class shots and,
for
of con stunts-the dud
watch Yates. John Buchan, and of them, excellent at strangling is a bit sensitive to criticism.
Tally-ho!?
trick, The pair sailed around Sapper.
discusses their villains with their bare hands.
Paris, riding cabs, eating in the best restaurants and staying in the best hotels,
A Massachusetts man has a clock that has run for 22
Thut's lons. without his Axing it.
the reasons
for their probably why it still runs. success, their effect upon the Many people who claim they generation which adored them. tell only little white les colour blind.
Aro
teasc"
of
•
✡ con-
years background, their presuppos!- What about the Clubland An unnamed eritic apparently
of neeused
"moral grandpa heroines? The Archbishop
in Volume I. Mr BUT CAN Red-faced and be York, who has recently in- strip
"Does he really HE FIND wildered, veighed against modern novel Gollancz asks. lists' preoccupation with
in exposing A FENCE? stable of Caveller think I revelled sex, thin
de-la-Salle, France, would have no complaints here, some of the things I fell bound Buchan's girls are the open-air to expose?" But why need any-returned to the villago police and one expose the detalls of his station to report on his moming fold of bengling, type
across private life if he does not want round. 107 After all there is presumably some element of selection even in an autobiography of this length.
A Toledo woman asked police tu locate her husband who hd been missing for two years, Some people are so impatient.
dancing eyes..
his step
the
What were
05
an
Everywhere, they paid their bills with watches that had no insides.
Then they made a slip. They went to the same restaurant twice in the same day.
His superiors hastily consulted the list of official instructions-- to no avall. There were no rules DEEP DIVE A covering the situation,
The trouble? Someone had stolen 60 feet of cobbled road- maps way,
grand - scale
FOR GOLD treasure hunt with the aid of ancient and charts is being planned in Corunna the busy commercial port on Spain's Atlantic coast.
the leading traits addicted to long walks of the heroes in these romances? the moors, First there was their firm belief in the superiority of the English
makes Buchan (though A man must watch
long
mixture when he runs into a giri with exception for the Scots,
Alas, It is a strange Elan), as they were educated at
In Sapper's and Yates's
muddle and particularly
of sentimentality and upper-class novels they have rather Remember
that Timothy will have to read. what Englishmen.
tougher time. Poor Phylis
the high to Pete Cornish
point is reached In Bulldog Drummond's wife, Perhaps the
Soon 50 American and happened
with- when grandpa explains that the
of Canterbury
officurs Sapper's Jim Maltlund when he seldom takes a journey
foot Spanish former naval Dean was rash enough to tell the 15th out being gassed through
the
ball promoters in will be searching 30 fathoms Marquess of Sussex to drink the speaking-tube of a taxi and religious in the best sense" than PLOT
Voletta have deep nearby for gold and jewels because he still cancelled games set for Decem worth £10,000,000, once brought "damnation to the waking up tled hand and foot many Churchmen above him in toast of
especially their in a moated grange while
the hlerarchy passionately cares for something, ber 12-14-the dates of Malta's from the Spanish Main for King English- aristocracy." He was naturally. Thing. loughing diabolically, which he sees, with however general election.
Philip V. death prepares a hideous killed by Jim Maitland.
conscience, 13 They explain thai public These men, are convinced that Of course not all Englishmen her. It is a hard life.
If Timothy under apathy may result in a Socialist three Spanish galleons, carrying Some
Mr Usborne comes to no very stands that one, he will deserye landslide, Socialists vote while 200 tons of virgin gold and a
capitalists amuse themselves, are cads, or rotters, like Ray- algnificant conclusions from his full marics.
A carton of shoes, all for left foot; were stolen from a shop the other day. The thief is probably, hopping mad.
A stage designer's wife sued divorce charging that he made too many scenes,
for
Exercise will kill germs, says
a doctor. The job is to get the are clean-limbed heroes. littlo pests to take same.
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
"THE MODELS ARE "ON THE SET FOR
THE BATHING SUIT
THE OLD PRO — HE IS-MORE INTERESTED
IN THE RACING: FORM THAN THE FORM DIVINE.
"DON'T TELL ME
IT WASN'T LOADED
J
YOIKS?
IF YOU HAVE A CANDID CAMERA BUG.
AROUND THE HOUSE. BE CAREFUL NOT TO STEP ON HIM~ OR BETTER STILL,
GO AHEAD.
THE CHARACTER WHO HAS A TON OF GADGETS }AND GIMMICKS-AND. LOTS OF NO FILM.
COM. 1963 SY GENERAL FEATURES
CORP, TM-WORLD RIGHTS RESERVED,
THERE'S THAT
CRUMB
AGAIN?
"WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH HIM? IS HE ON(D,
THE LAM? *.
Photo-Finish
THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HORNS JN, AND THE ONE WHO ALWAYS DUCKS
for wh
darkened anillenial."
is "more CAPITALIST Capitalist
BY HARRY WEINERT
"HEY! THAT'S
THE LAST
ONE /»
"THAT'S -ALL-- KITTY!*
WHEN A CAMERA ROMEO SHOWS UP TO WOO YOUR GIRL WITH GLAMOUR. SHOTS ~ BORROW ·
HIS CAMERA AND SHOOT THE CAT.
IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO START.
HURRY UP! DINNER
WILL BE
RUINED/
SOMETHING IS RUINED ALL RIGHT.
AND IT AINT THE CHOW
to
fabulous hoard of precisionR stones, were scuttled there to escope capture by the French,
The Spanish authorities have given their blessing
the enterprise and have agreed, say the treasure-hunters, to let them keep half of anything they find. The other half will become the
of Spain property of the Bank
this wealth, e search for
The
which has lain under the waters
Balf
for nearly `two ̈ ̃and' centuries, will take place barely an hour's drive from El Ferrol, birthplace of General Franco and the site chosen for the pro- posed No: 1 American naval bast In Europe.
tha
WEEK-END. While Mico at FROLIC
The Medical Ro- search Council's laboratory In Hampstead have got the doctors worried. They grow steadily from Mondays to Fridays but lose weight at week- ends, though they get the same amount to eat all the time. To solve the mystery doctors have checked the tem-
cages,
and perature of the weighed all the food and water taken by the mice. No clues.
Likellest theory BO far: The mice romp. about more in their cages at week-end when they are not disturbed до much. This slims them down and gives them less time for eating.
Dr W. Lane-Petter, who has listened-in at the keyhole of the moure-room on Sundays, report- ed much more commation and hubbub than usual.
HIS
BOSS.
Conrad Hilton, the mil- lionaire American hotel operator
(ho owns the Waldorf Astoria in New York and wants to build a luxury hotel in London), has gone to work for a trade union: ko agrees to operate the 22-storey Havana Hilton Hotel in Cubà,. which is owned by the Cuban Hotel and Restaurant Workers' Federation (membership 25,000).
TO MATCH PINK ELEPHANTS.
Or purple.
You can have 'á"
· red-yolked "oge. for breakfast now. Or green.
́ ́Poultrymen do it by, putting" vegetable dyes in the food. But so far there is little demand for colouration.
that
· New Yoric housewives believe eggs with white, shells are better
than
„brown ; ones*// Bo penny or two
whad be
a dozen mans in New York,
But Boston,
Massachusetts, beleres brown ekam new hos), 3G there. It's the brown exgth: thai fetch penny or two more pes
L
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