1951-09-29 — Page 11

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY," SEPTEMBER

THE THREE "FREEDOMS"

T

THAT MAKE HAPPINESS

HERE are men who seem to enjoy over whelming their wives with their intellectual superiority, belittling their wives' conversation, dia. missing their questions dis- courteously.

do

What can n woman when she is so treated by her husband? To what ex- tent should she tolerate such offensive and crude beha- viour?

1f on the sixth day of her marriage the wife accepts con- descending behaviour from her husband, if at that point the only mildly protests against the brushing-off of her intelleet, then the husband will, by the sixtieth day of marriage, be calling her "stupid" or a "fool."

K

T

on the sixth day of her marriage she ignores the le pradations of her husband's dis courtesy her husband will, on the sixtieth day of the marriage, consider her not a full partner but only a table-und-bel com- panion, an inferior erenture, a nere female" who is of no se- count in the serious matters of Ilfe.

THE woman's retort le such in- sulting behaviour should be fact matter of an immediate, expression of her point of view. She should give reasons for her opinion and ask her husband for an exact explanation of his view.

way In-

If the wife resets this the fist time, and persists flexibly in the same attitude in the future, she trains her husband in food manners: he begins to take her seriously, and to look

upon her, according to the ex- tent of her interest, as comrade,

By the well-known divorce lawyer

EDWARD KAUFMANN

In such circumstances woman's strongest weapon is her own calm, her own dignily. A husband can hardly be con- tinually discourteous toward Is wife If she is constantly cour teous; he can hardly show col- sistently bad monners it her manners are consistently good; իր can hardly shout at her all the time it she does nut answer his shouting.

n job.

But it can provide

has o

her

a

stimulating. We are afraid to speak about "learning." about "understanding." In connection with love-making. Instead, · a thick veil of mystery le’drawn over it, and woman is irrespons

14

29, 1951.

MAKING A SUCCESS

OF YOUR MARRIAGE

SHOP AT

SINCERE'S

DEPARTMENT STORL

FOR ALL YOUR NEEDS

NOTICE TO OUR STUDENT PATRONS

sibly left to her own devices even at the moment of passion. WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A FURTHER SHIPMENT OF THE FOLLOWING TITLES:

On the other hand, pouting fact that she is My So-and-So's charmingly & woman is dresume corda in hundreds of courts the faithfulness a safe conduct for

The

their own infidelities.

a exclusively of an occupation or dressed than one who wears

If this law is violated, love dis- 25-guines mode), A woman who'

The advice given Her when appears. income; has five dresses is often better she marries is a maxim mouldy and the wife's personal income dressed than one who has 15.

Women behave in various with age "Natural Instinet Wit magical effect. It abolishes Anancial dictatorship the

of She learns to vary them, al- gelde you sufficiently, my dear. way when freed with "un- the husband, and leads to the ways giving them another They guided our mothers and faithfulness." Some. Institute establishment of an economic charming nuance with a couple grandmothers, and they will do divorce proceedings on the spot. democracy.

of colourful clips, a flower, an the same for you. Is that Others determine never to forget It helps a wife to carn

and constantly refer..to, the hus- her attractive kerchief or scarf, or guidance?

band's lapse whenever any dis- husband's reptet. She will have a bright belt,

The answer to her own value, based on

that question cussion arises. Others simply And. as with dressing, so can be found in the divorce re- consider their husband's un- Individuality and not on the with undressing. The impro and whining

world over. are futile;

such wife. The percentage of divorces the ven re in marriage in which both part comes when undressed.

more fascinating she b tactles are annoying. pulsive,

It is robbed out by women Contradiction has only ntrs are externally active, and

Its length, hair, effect. Counter- both an irritating

is significantly

Its whose marriages are broken, or earning.

arrangement, progressive pol lower, than the general average.

have throughout by women who remain, with a abuse maans

the centuries ning.

But

spoken a varied broken heart, within, the hollow there are countless தடி But the answer to the question women who still want to be language. It was once the ex- frame-work of matrimony. "How for can a woman go in

of the marital state, dependent;

wish who

to be pression

It must be recognised clearly, ought o her Isternting

freedom, br husband's die dominated for think they ought

and it must be stated courage- dignity or courtesy not an Inch. A

disgrace, to be): who love to be intellas ... Virginity, wife must expect from her own tually inferior to their husbands; strength or weakness.

ously, that the ability to love is Modern husband at least that measure who enjoy

feminine hair style not necessarily inborn. Woman even physical of courtesy and chivalry that brutality and spiritual humilia expresses, more clearly than can be educated and enlightened

would extend to ticn. Such women any stranger

before, are bond- ever

own us to what mukes the love reta- tions attractive and stimulating. her, and that her own husband women, with

of will and individuality. the Instincts expeels and demands that ohy slaves. But bondage has

Hair has its day life and its other man show his wife, phri

place in modern marriage.

night life. A daytime colftute that he shows ** a matter of

may appear ridiculous framed course to any other woman.

against ค pillow: is night deshabille would have the same uncouth effect by the light of

An outsider who is discourte- ous to a man's wife would ex-

niet trouble. The husband mux be just as exacting with himself as he would be with a friend or stranger.

But there are thousands Women who, out of their love

their

husbands, for

suffer and kntly from humiliation

They are not degradation.

their partners, but subjects of husbands. in the end their marriage breaks down.

מת

day.

or

women's

TI

FINA

over

art

FINALLY there are women-

and they are the whelming majority-who deeply, silently hurt, but con- tinue to love their husbanda.

There are many husbands whe do at some time "betray" their wives, given the opportunilly, But an Infidelity is not neces- sarily fatal to mårriage if it

it is no more than an instinctive ex- cursion, an episode in a man's like. Despite such occasional Infidelity a man can be the best of husbands. He can continue to love his wife as much as ever. conduct but to place it in a per-] This is not "to condone such spective which might well save

marriage from disaster.

ABIT, routine, uniformity and lassitude are the den- THE divorce files reveal that THE

For some reason loose hair is ly enemies of physical relation- the husband is often dis- more

flattering in bed, more ship. They stultify, When sex wife'x

an- provocative, Feminine hair has becomes marital duty, the wife of appolated in his

language and magic. has lost the game. This strong nega- its own pearance. live factor is often manifest a The woman needs only to bring relatively short time after the it into play.

To make love differently, and A woman should change ter again differently, is a subject she wedding.

The husband thought that he hair style often. And let the can and must learn. A woman marrying a pretty and husband say what he thinks of may give free rein to her own charming woman; and he was. 1.

Even if he disapproves it sensual joy. She need not wait

responsive. Provocation is one there is a "mistress" involved. of her charms, provided it is Whenever there is danger of tempered with subile grace of another permanent relationship mina.

marital estrangement has en- tered a serious phase.

Wus

the ad-

seriously threatened if

The marriage is, however, venture with another woman continues, and gradually deve- logs into a relationship of ligt-

Where digalty ends love ende Eut after a few years, often has at least proused his atten- for her husband antt merely be ing character; in other words 'it |

and servitude begins.

ng colleague, or collaborator,

If the husband does not re- than

NALYSIS of

sooner,

be discovers that he tlon, was mistaken. During their engagement, her carriage, dress, hair, and face were always at- tractive. But now she pays little attention to these important

low

A woman's love life has no. externals when she is alone with EEKING the cause of bore- boundaries; Its only marriages him.

dom in marriage, one may beauty. It is this beauty that a that have lasted for more He may admonish her, but ask whether the wife could not woman gives and must preserve ten years shows that finds little response. He sees make her love rèlätlon more as spered. It is hers to preserve, spond the wife must not engage in them the wives are more or other women, makes compari- In a dispute with him or, which lets independent of their hus sone.

wrong.

ks also

un-

Nor should the wife preach or paes sentence. She must not harbout a grudge against him, and selze every ocassion to re- mind her husband triumphantly

mitted. There must be no vie..

and

and scenes cf jealousy

Το

The

al-

THE IN

To Be Concluded Next Saturday

BRITISH COUNCIL THE COLONIES

London.

W.council operate in the

By E. B. TIMOTHY

is worse. openly rebuke him bands, Economically, intellec resul Such selfies "odity, navodi ind† tually, or yoctally.

many Balzac, who read women as manners on both sides and de- cost all three of these "free- he read books, thought that 11

present. Conversely, husband who grade them and their marriage, dems" are

always found if one looks for them in un fault with his wife really want She must not try to give him succe

successful marriages, one does ed another woman. "a lesson." A. husband does not not and them present at all, or think this is quite the case. I I do not readily tolerate lessons in be only a far lesser degree.

believe the husband wants his haviour from his wife, even if How do most women normally he is secretly convinced that act? From the day of the wed-

but he wants her edown wife,

and perpetually

ciernally she is right. He

ding they often completely re- different. He wants her to be willing to admit that he was Ncunce their aspirations foward

20 women in one, always the intellectual bnd ceonomic in- They

even yleid same yet never the samef dependence. their social freedom and mostly in

him

this gives monogamous

the suitable channels are "civics cil's welfare work. Something, give up the interests they culmerridge the_charm_of_legalised iivated before marriage.

WHY-does-the-British-and. #klological. subjects?__- of-an-answer-to-these- criticisms pumy. Should

results of woman's self- marriage paralyse,

What does the Council do for is found in the Report's con- The Husband Colonics?

Council's Colonial students, in Britain?

clusion that what really matièra up, a neglect are obvious. dry eventually

is "what the British publie can otted wrong that he has woman's capacities, talents and and wife spend most of their Report for 1960-61, gives

time together at home,

In the opinion of the Council, be stimulated to do for Colonial erėstive energies?

this answer: "to explain to "the time has not yet come when students, rather than what the tors and vanquished in mar- Must marital life cause a home is thus the place, where

Colonial

those Colonial students can quicitly own por the wife should be most

peoples aspects of British civilisa- find their feet in Britain, The Counell itself does." the moment of tractive to her husbond,

tion, knowledge of which is Report adtraits that despite the

An echo of the recent Hans efforts of voluntary organisa ference that otherwise remains In many instances husbands

not naturally transmitted tons, only the their wives fall fo

to give recognition to

the Report's emphasis on mental abilities.

this to link, and to aid, by the welfare have been touched. The fact that "the purpose of the

residence in Such women are liable to be THE wife

Hans Crestent is years and the increased enco war an extraordinary degree. She sharing of Britain's educa- wilcuties of the student, its not only that it should be a come dissatisfied, disillusioned

driven to ex- goca about the and embittered,

small number of with tional, social and adminis stated, have

complicated the home for a aggerated "busyness" and futile rumpled hair, puts on her oldest trative experience, that pro- problem of providing adequately students during that it should activities.

dress every morning. receives

welfare of Colonial in London, but that her husband in the dress reserved gross towards self-govern for the

become a live centre for the Such TTUSBANDS let themselves go

a wife

which Britain IG

Colonial student population of only too soon and too readily easily drawn into a relationship for house-cleaning, sits at the ment

The hus- table in her shobblest, and re- pledged to maintain.”

London." In their manners, behaviour, and with another man,

The financial section of the language toward their wives, band is bewildered by the out- serves her best for strangers. it

Men are vain about their

the methods of transmit ng Colonink them

The Report emphasises that During the year under review, Report draws attention to the methods of transmiting the British Council niet 1,000 reduction of financial provision

students personally, for

student welfare work by arrival in Britain; £100,000 on the completion of Colonial territory to another, on In East Africa, Mauritius and half of these were. provided

riage.

If the wife chooses the right moment she can iron out a dif-

an intolerable source of dishare inchy.

Hy

woman to lose her sonality from wedding? the

is the

more

overlooks

bouse

Sometimes they fall to listen vsually unable to understand it wives well and attractive at all to their wives, interrupt them, For all the years he has lived

ilmes, Yet they take only or even walk away In the with his wife he has not

small middle of a conversation.

part in choosing their the slightest suspicion of what was taking

and is

had

through the administrative problem of Cottinges of the Crescent troubles is found in

studenta.

students

the

They, forget to say goodbye Ahought that he gave her the not hesitate to criticise it. From is on racial relations, while in all of the students were assisted sidentes.

g place in her. He has wives' clothing, though they do it, for example, the emphasis with setommodation and nepele Sapital expenditure on the re-

when leaving; they fail to greet best life he could and regarded the day of her wedding every West Africa, it is education in their introduction to the their wives when they return it

to it that should see as a natural law that she woman home; or they ignore them in should devote herself to him her husband takes on active in-through discussion groups alded English way of life or, as the

by library services.

Report puls it "to do in Rome company, though they have

a and the children. He never terest in her shopping

as the Romans do.” friendly word for every, other suspected that she was entitled To be attractively, dressed la In the West Indies, the person present: they fall to to an inner life of her own.

merely a matter of money, Jemphasis is on “adult education, Despite the impressive extent keep appointments with their The woman of today must It is rather a matter of wit, social welfare and local adminis of the Council's work revealed wives, or let them walt in un- create for herself her own taste, understanding and know-tration; also on growing local in the annual report, Colonial certainty without bothering to sphere of activity outside the ledge. A woman with a seven- interest in the arts. In Hong- students in this country_cbh-: explain or apologise.

marriage; this need not consist guinen dress is often betler kong, Malaya and Singapore, tinue to be critlent of the Couti

DRINK

not

Hong Kong S Most Popular

Imported Beer

Curlsberg

East Asiatic Company Ltd.

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JAMES J. KING

AGAIN OFFERS YOU UNRIVALLED SERVICE FOR SOMETHING BETTER.

EVIDENCE OF THE ADVANTAGES WHICH COME FROM EXPERIENCE, LINKED WITH PROGRESSIVE OUTLOOK.

GOLDSMITH

SILVERSMITH, NAUTICAL OPTICIAN

ENGLISH

N.M.S.R. King Solomon Mines.

Children of New, Forest. David Copperfield,' Fables & Fairy Tales.. Ivanhoe;

Monte Cristo,

Treasure Island.

Allon Quartermain,

Mystery of the Island.

Cat of Bubasten,

Black Arrow.

Robinson Crusoe. Lorna Doone., Gullivers, Travels.. Hair Tree

Mill on the Floss, Cloister and the Hearth.

alias Marner,"

Beven Little Plays. Kalulu the Hare. Black Tulip.

N.M. Reader Bks. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 & 7, and Red Primer.

Composition Bks. 1-4.

English Grammar.

English Practice Bks. 2 & 3.

Malayan Reader Bks, 1-4,

Malayan Reader Primer 1 & 2. English Dictionary.

N.M.C.C. Learn to Speak, Sect. 3..

Beacon: Infant Reader Bk. 2.

Tropical Library: Things We Use Series Bks, 1-13. Tropical Library: Garden Serles Bks. 10. Judd Advance Exercises in English. Judd: Exercises in English.

Eckersley: Essential English Bica. 14. Hill: Comprehension and Precis Pieces, Herbert: Overseas Poetry Bk. 1. Santpton, Prep. English Grammar.

Harris: First Lessons In English, Alts. 1 & 2. Fundamental English Jiinlar Bk. 3. London Dramatle Books, 2nd Series, Bks, 2 & 4.

HISTORY

Higham: Landmarks World History. Nielson: Great Meh of the East,

Wedgewood: Discovering History Bk. 2. House of History, 4th Storey,

Expansion of Europe into the Far East. Hays Moon & Wayland: World History.

GEDURAPHY

Stamp: The World

Stamp: Introduction to Commercial deography. Stamp: Regional Geography Pl. 4.,

Cleography for To-day Bk...

Modern Geography, Bk. 1, Foundatians.

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