1951-04-14 — Page 5

THE CHINA MAIL,

Page

WICKSTEED'S

PRIVATE FESTIVAL

is taking readers on a tour of the things which will not be officially on show in 1951. This -the third escorted tour-da trip 10 P much.-demand family,

If father

doesn't get shot

-the rest bob up

BRAMDEAN, Hants. N my opinion no Festi- val of Britain would be complete without a British rabbit in it some where. When I am abroad about and wish to dream home I simply close my eyes and think about rab bits.

"Tell

about What

us something your home-life, rabbit, do you do in your burrows all day? Aren't you overcrowded? we hear stories about the size of your familles

A thumping on the ground showed the rabbit was annoyed. The stories are grossly exaggerated," he answered. "We of course, and are

noclable, fund of children, but why should that make us a music- Out they come hopping ball joke?"

turf on

human scientist claim- "Some Home across the

ed once that in favourable common at dusk, bolting for

clrcumstances a single pair of have 13,718,000 beech- rabbits would a the safety of wood or lying by their bur- descendants in three years," rows among the elders en-

joying the late afternoon

sun.

when You try it ponctimo you're un exile and see how the pictures of bome

come

rolling out with the cavalcade of imaginary rabbils.

So let's go to wood or a Warren somewhere and inter- view a British rabbit,

Climb a tree ... THERE'S no Innguage trouble. Britons have been brought up from the cradle with rub- bits.

TH

Before you

speak you

pre

given a toy one to cuddle and car.

fde in, and every-

inows

onc

from rend- that rabbits

Certainly

"But where can you get these circumstances? not in this island with every hand against you and rabbit at two bob a lb.

Dollar-getters

the

AS a matter of fact, I've A been wondering rabbit wouldn't do belter in Empire. We hear Australia a promising country for raising a family. Some of our relatives emigrated there and did rather well

Our rabbit was right about

Britain in conditions

A

'Darling. I'm sure that poor cinema organist wouldn't have played 'In a Persian Market if he'd known you had some shares out thoro,"

Should We Cheer

LONDON. HORTLY before nine o'clock on the night of March 27 at Earl's Court the heavyweight

university scientist at Bangor champion of Europe leaped recently went into the matter into the ring like a ballet

and

found

that

whatever the dancer and waved gaily, at

theoretical po the crowd. We liked him sibilitics, the

by Bernard Wicksteed

of

by

average number at once, but then he was

young weaned

a wild rabbit

A Loser Or

A Winner?

our

an Austrian and it is part winner..

being creditable to everyone but certainly not to

take heads.

his carllest

in Caernarvonabire of the tragedy of ing furnish thoir underground homes was no more than eight in with pots and pans Hike ours and season. to each other in perfect speak English.

The beat way of meeting wild rabbits, I find, is to climb a tree on the edge of a wood and walt for them to come out in the evening.

So if you're game we'll shin up this oak on Bramdran Com- mon where it runs up to Old Park Wood.

are.

Here comes an

that

That may be left Germany in complete control hearts of Western Europe. Then why invoke Dunkirk? Why not El which turned the Alamein, course of the whole war?

онг

:

to

London Express Barvice

BEVERLEY BAXTER

a Austrian that "People may we do £50,000,000 likes them and few

A Frenchman once said

be thrown worth of damage a year to crops them seriously.

Therefore I contend that the

me. "You are a curious people. Broadway musicals and trees in this country."

was your greatest off by beating them with bigger Lena than an hour later, we should break with pre- Waterloo rabbit went on, "But they for get

we provide your

and cedent and give some study victory, but you use it as a term and better British musicals. battered

the at disaster. For us it was the

In pursuance of this policy of wives with fur coats that would hopelessly

of to the man who won face a blur otherwise have to be imported.

we supply Americans with his

the House question in Then

hats, and so earn you blood and bruises, he was fight. There is nothing gay end; for you it was the beginning reinvigoration I have put down with

Commons to ask mean the same for both of us?" madly cheered by the great about Jack Gardner, the of everything. Then bow can it dollars."

the Minister of Works, There is, of course, an explana-

removing consider know? crowd, while his opponent ex-Guardsman. He

tion. Waterloo was the last will

means

and super-

of Dick Stokes, if he the

"With hats?" "Yes, didn't you

than business because stretching Quiet, now, old buck through a hole in the British rabbit akins make the was given no more

rabbit applause, punctuated by a ahead of him is the golden scene of the last act for Napoleon. statue of the Duke of Cambridge hodge, You know he's back be- best felt for hats in the world.

the British

modulated cries of road to fame cause the first ones out always Without

The others follow, when Americans would have to go few

the tax. No sooner had he en- from they see that father hasn't been burcheated, and that

help Anglo-American friend-"Well done!"

in tered the ring than 'he sat shot at or caten

dinner-jacket brigade See how his nose is twitch- ship, would li?".

Then down in his corner and lis- of sniffing

the ringside seats. ing? It's a form

attentively to designed to divert air to the

the Austrian had won the tened

part of the nose that smella rabbit's timed Somebody

B

Hose once and found it twiched 120 times-in-a-minule.-

A

Blind spot FUNNY thing about rabbits is that although they have good

eyesight they've a blind spot in front of their nose, and can't see what they are eating. That's why snifling is so im pertant them

to

Excuse us, rabbit," we say, getting out our notebooks and

wouldn't

Grunt, grunt

MONG

that

A

to Laertes.

BY

BEVERLEY

in Whitehall and replacing it with one in memory of Alcock and Brown, who were the first to fly the North Atlantic.

Who was the Duke? He was born in Hanover, the only son of son, and

BAXTER, M.P. George III.'s seventh

other things

the fight? Not at all-he had scholarly looking man with Lold us was rabbit

lost. But this is Britain, spectacles who proceeded to be -young-rabbits have to

Britain advise him in the manner taught to hop. They move each and-the-more-

she is of Polonius hind foot separately and have changes the more

our From subsequent events it Yet that does not wholly answer learn to use them both to the same. We liked gether. Ordinary runinng fires"

reproach of my French friend. visitor from the banks of was obvious that Polonius the bewilderment or the implled a rabbit after 70 yards.

Baying to him: Rabbits can keep warm in the Danube for his courage Was cold weather more easily than they krop cool in

hot and weather,

can

his chivalry, and we "To thine own left be true, They use their cars signifled in the usual Bri- and it must follow as the night the day thou canst as radiators for getting rid of

not then be beat by

Goes Deeper

a short-but it isn't a per- tish manner. fret system.

When pencils. "Con you tell us some

not speaking English, British Thing about Jour

115 in children's books, adult language of ancestry?"

said the rabbit rabbits have "Certainly

man who studied low grunts. We are rather proud of it. It is managed to get the accent is generally reckoned we came over with William the Con- right, but he didn't know the so when he sat in a tree words,

BUT it goes deeper than

that, and

I suggest

man

Curious

queror. There were rabbits we and grunted the rabbits below that we strip our minds of ON these

and face tho

Britain before that, but

round in astonishment at humbug cleared out during the Ice Age the strange things that were truth.

went to Spain and the Riviera you know.”

We

being said,

Grunt, grunt, which means, As a race of people we are more impressed by a good löser than a skilful

Ignoring the Roman and

in the rabbit language: "Bye- Saxon invasion they returned from the Continent on the bye for now." bandwagon of the Normans,

-London Express Service}

FILMS-BY-PHONE FABULOUS?

From FREDERick cook

NEW YORK. ESULTS of the first

Rmonth's

without advertising) is using films two years old or more which have finished their rounds test of of the cinemas. Phonevision-the films-by-

The average "attendance" of TV-over-your-own-telephone

familles participating the 300 system being tried out in in the test was 3.1 dimes in the and around Chicago are first week, described "fabulous."

the second and third it They indicate a huge new dropped to 1.9 times, and in the source of income for Holly- last week to 1.7 times. wood studios.

Disregarding the first novelty Omitting the admitted week, said Mr McDonald, it was an average of 1.8 times a week

as

+

In

novelty appeal of the first per family. week, Phonevision in its first month of trial drow

he married an actress. He held a ecinmand at Alma and Inker- man, and according to contem- porary ribaldry he emulated the famous Duke of York by march- down again. No doubt he was-a- ing an army up a hill and then good husband and a good soldier, the but his bulky equestrian statue

absolutely nothing

Wake Up!

to

took over When Foch

Allied armies in

hé those who pass by. 1918 supreme command of the stricken means declared: "Victory is a thing of any the will." When early in August Foch launched the great offensive Ludendorff, still com- manding the most powerful army N contrast the feat of Alcock and Brown fires the imagina- in all history, wrote in his diary: "We have lost the war." And in had nothing but a biplane which bion and exal's the spirit. They a hundred days it was all over. had been designed for use on the Supposing in 1940, when France Western Front, but they put fell, and we stood alone, Chur- their trust in the skill of their who had built t chill had written in his diary: countrymen

were primitive and inadequate, SO we would be under the but they had the questing spirit "Britain is beaten." Had he done Their navigation instruments

Prussian Jackboot today.

of Columbus and Drake, that would not be denied.

lines Gardner a clear stilfully won victory. Admittedly his op- ponent was on his feet at the end, but the fact re- mains that the most pro-

mising British heavyweight Is It Not Time?

for many years defeated- an experienced and gallant opponent. Yet, as I said, the cheers were the loser.

Who knows about Alcock and Certainly not Brown today? the Americans, who believe that the first 10 Lindbergh was conquer the North Atlantic, Cer- lainly not the boys and giris in learn Britain today, for under modern education the children either more and more about less

have Is it not time that we threw of our sentimental obsession "Comparison of this with the

for about losing well and changed 10 million TV receivers in use,

over to the psychology of win ning wellt: Let our ald Mr McDonald, "Indicates a producer's income of 480 million

This is a curious aspect of the decide now that when the dollars a year (about £166 mll-

they shall be pounded into sub- more and more. History In the ton) on the basis of half of the British character which goes for tralians next come to England and less, or less and less about dollar foe charged during the beyond the minor battles of the mission. That would be good for schools is too busy with dead. boxing ring. Even when it comes Australia, good for us, and good kings ever to catch up to moderns

like Alcock and Brown. test period.

"This result is fabulous, even to war itself we are prouder of for cricket.

Wake up. Britain!" Why not. defeat than of N

Our lawn tennis players might extol our

achievements if you cut the figures in two-or stubborn, four. It should be remembered glorious victory.

decido now to win three sets even if we decry our climate? that we were using old pictures.

Almost any politician on the instead of one at Wimbledon, and, Therefore, breaking with all slightest pretext (or none) will our Walker Cup golfers could precedent, I give you a toast: that even a 15-yard pult will go invoke the Dunkirk spirit. We Will themselves into belleving The Winners!"

what. he means, yet know

if the ball is correctly directed And now, no doubt, I shall Dunkirk, at best, was an evacua to the hole. Then in the realm have to resign from my club.:: tion-superbly carried out that of the theatre let the yoke of the

"Can you imagine what cur recute would have been if we had been presenting alms that nune of the TV audlence had seen?"

-{London" Express Service)'

26 percent of the possible NANCY

Her Slip Is Showing

total "attendance," sald

Mr Eugene McDonald, head

of the corporation whose brain child the new enter- tainment medium is.

The figures indicats an over- all average of 2 parent of the possible audienst," he said.

The 10 lowashing filma)

offoned lathe first month draw STEREO of 83. peront-and Dow pictures proceed in the lat 100: TUIRE DATE Qone that well, in

YA BETTER NOT LET A COP SEE YOU, NANCY

WHY

By Ernie Bushmiller

1 YOU LOOK LIKE A

BLACK MARKETEBR

own

Summer heat saps energy

ENRICHED BREAD

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Along the Road of Progress.

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---(London Express. Service),

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