1950-11-27 — Page 6

THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27" 1950,

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PATRICK

SAT back in my acat "Young man," he said, "you In the Lord Chiof Jus- managed to put up a damned tice's court and knew I good fight" should

That see it

night he left at my again. I had made my last chambers a small brief of my appearance in any court.

never

I could not complain. I had enjoyed a long innings. and it was time to make way for younger men.

Fortune had not been unkind. I had climbed a long, steep and had managed to road, achieve a fair measure of suc- cess, and now It was time to go. After all, it is better to leave from the top of the hill than to slip wall until you begin to down the other side.

I looked round the court I had It seemed pre- loved so well. cisely the same as it had seem- ed on the day I first entered it The faces so many years ago.

was the different-that were

old ones only change; all the had gone.

I

I ought to have suppose seen the ghosts of old friends, but I did not--the years had been too happy to leave, ghosts behind-but I permitted myself the luxury of memories.

OWNL...

HASTINGS,

And then, out of the blue, came good news. I was pro- moted to the more important task of dealing with old Indies who fell off omnibuscs,

At that time omnibuses were At that time motor cars were not as perfect as they are to- not so universal as they are to- day. Sometimes they would not day and horse-drawn vans were start; sometimes they started a familiar sight. Also, among with such enthusiasm that old tramlines in the southern parts ladies fell off the platform at of London, were some which, the back. after years of service, projected alightly above the roadway.

Decrepit vans

Sometimes, no doubt, the ac- cident was genuine, and the passenger really injured, but there came a time when it was appreciated that such mlator- tunes could be extremely pro- fitable.

And AN the usefulness of horse-drawn vang diminished,

Omnibus companies would so the Occasions Increased in rather pay than aght, and un- which aged and decrepit vans scrupulous individuals began to managed to catch their wheels take advantage. What had once As a been misfortune became a habit. in projecting tramlines. result, the wheels came off and the van suffered partial or even total collapse.

Even the van horses suffered from the occurrences, and, as van horses were somewhat

premium, Insurance com- panies began to feel the strain.

a

Standardised

at Old ladies began to fall off omnibuses with surprising re- gularity; in fact, some old ludies made a profession of it.

The procedure became almost

Court memories first days as an advocate were have her foot on the step. The

mc-

These accidents were too fre- quent to be ignored. The claims must be disputed, and that standardised. As the conductor meant a trial in court. So my rang his bell an old lady would passed in an atmosphere of de- omnibus would start, with or without a jerk, enusing the old crepit horses.

lady to subside into the gutter. The

There she would lie, moaning an ambulance with pain, until removed her to hospital.

ad

The court was full of

opportunities for mories. I had seen well-grown vocacy its highest sense were cross- men and women fighting out surprisingly small. To

avan-driver, whose their life stories within the examine walls; I had taken part it stacles van has collapsed in the street, of all kinds; tragic stories, in the hope of establishing that patheile stories, foolish stories, his wheel did not come off, is a for a And there were other stories, of somewhat hopeless task no interest to anyone except beginner, so i decided to con- myself. Stories of small and un-

centrate on the vans themselves. Important cases.

I learned a great deal about

and vans,

also about the

Memories of those little cases began to crowd back upon me; memories of the time when each ingenuity of people who wanted insurance claims on case was vitally important and to make Jeft a foot-mark on the road I compapies. had chosen: when each victory

was perhaps a further step in

my

long climb

up the hill. On

Their details may be forgotten,

memaries will but their

with me for ever.

stay

The Associate discharged the jury-the last jury who would be compelled to suffer from my oratory--and called the next

casc.

last

FIRST ARTICLE:

The Hilarious Case of the Old Lady Who Fell A Bus

legs Off

I heard of vans obviously on

examination no reason for would

their last legs, which were There careful driven through the highways of would discover southern London, apparently her detention, and she looking for an accommodating be advised to go home. projection in a tramline. I even

came

across vans let out for Then followed a most curious that purpose, although, when the accident occurred and the sequence of events. On leaving case came into court, the value the hospital she would be ac

costed by a sympathetic bystan- of the relic seemed out of all der, who would place her ten- proportion to its decrepitude. derly in a cab and accompany her, not to her home, but to the of an even more

A young barrister rose timor- ously in his place; he was al most a boy and it was obviously his first case. He was shaking in every limb; his hands were scarcely able to untie the tape which bound his brief; his voice also a useful object of inquiry, sympathetic solicitor. was cracked with nervousness. and there I was greatly helped He was starting off

The horses themselves were office

the long by a clever veterinary surgeon, What happened between them and winding road that I had left named John Coleman, who was, could only be a matter for sur- behind.

among other things, veterinary mise, but when next heard of surgeon to Sandown Park race the old lady would be found un-

He was a past master der the care of an eminent me course.

wrong

But he was in the place. I could have warned him that the Lord Chief Justice's

court is not the place in which

to learn his work.

He should have begun at the bottom, probably by devilling for someone else, in a case that did not matter, in a court he could not find.

Devilling

No friends could help him, the patronage, of kind, relations is merely transitory; his future must depend on strangers who will have heard him floundering shrough the morass of his ignor ance and indecision until, at last they came to the conclusion that the boy begins to look as though he is. going to be some good.

I bad begun my legal life, by devilling, that wonderful system by which a young man, works for someone else at someone else's expense.

1

K.C.

He wore

a frock It soon became apparent to ing clerks,

elegance, me that, just as in the case of coat of surpassing the decrepit vung, these cases shiny boots, and in his hand he were mainly barofaced frauds. bore a new top hat. In his case maximum fee would ob- Indeed, I began to fear that my the

would consist in vlously be demanded. It was. futuro life fighting frauds.

For precisely the same trent- There was another similarity meat, for precisely the same between the old ladies and the complaint, he was charged two vans; It was practically impos- shillings and the medicine cost sible to prove, either by cross-him sixpence.

otherwise, that examination or

the azeldent had not happened.

་

Good case

played

THE AUTHOR.

great deal of work for charity.

That answer seemed to call for

In due course the case como to court and the plaintiff was

to tell her story. tell us if it was a good cure for constrained Her faltering progress towards traumatie neurasthenia,

somewhat the witness-box was

The doctor was, unable to say. out of

of keeping with her robust

without analysis, and as for the When an old lady is seen by a app but once Armly charge of a shilling he did o

in the box, she die sympathetic crowd to be lying

ad- of. every symptom a gutter, it is groaning in hopeless task to suggest that vanced traumatie neurasthenia: she has placed herself there of her nerves were shattered, and the appearance of the clerk. Mr her own accord, unless and her memory had gone. On that Smith stepped into the wall of here was the one spark of hope point she was quite determined. the court, and he, too, clasped

unless

there was such

grOSS

She remembered the omnibus a boltie of medicine

Had he suffered from precise- exaggeration, in her claim that her whole conduct became sus starting with a jerk, and after pect, and a jury might be per- that she remembered no more, ly the same symptoms and been suaded to disbelieve every word She could not remember the cured at precisely the same cost, name of the friend who took her and been presented with pre- to the solicitor, or whether that cisely the same medicine?. friend had met her for the frat time on the steps of the hoa-

she said.

Д

That was the course it was

The doctor felt affronted by decided to adopt. The best case

the question and appealed to available was to be chosen and pital.

the Judge for protection, but attack made on. a concerted

the Learned Judge was begin- of the plaintiff's every item

ning to enjoy himself. He did not stop the cross-examination. claim, and even on the persons Serious view who had helped her to make it,

becoming in the hope that the whole fraud

The witness Her sufferings had been ter- flustered. He could only explain might be exposed.

rifle and were not improving that his patients were sometimes It was the Before the accident she had of the poorer class. I was delighted. chance I had been waiting for earned immense aums as a char I could only hope that a good woman, but now, alas, she could That was the moment we had

work no more; it must have been waiting for. case might be brought to me to Oght; and at length a good case been her busband who had paid ed, if he were visited

the large sums charged for me- wealthy pallent, came along.

been far patient be charged a dicines, but. he had too worried to obtain receipts, feo? and as for the extra nourish- ment, it had been forced on her.

It was the usual story: the old lady; the visit to the solicitor: the appearance of the specialist with his traumatic neurasthenis and the extra nourishment, only In this case they were particu- larly pronounced. The specialist triße open to himself was a

suspicion."

net have

I thought I observed suspicion creeping into the jury's mind, and even the specialist seemed a trifle worried as he stepped into the witness box.

He was aslım.

would

by a

that -proper

Of course, he replied.

Dismissed

The managing clerk TOED gravely to his feet, displaying

every

He was a somewhat peculiar He looked extremely grave; every evidence of wealth. His specialist. He had frequently he took a serious view of the truck-cpal must have been the onlooker, his been known to attend old ladies stout lady's condition; traumatic envy of

similar circum- in precisely

neurasthenia was most difficult boots were immaculate, and in stances, and that, no doubt, was

to cure, and even more dimcult his hand was clasped a glorious the reason why he was able to

to diagnose. He was not in the top hat, least surprised that no other find anything wrong with her.

doctor could and any touch of

Experiments

11.

Slowly, and almost sadly, he

drow from his tall pocket familiar bottle. Here was

a

was obliged to screw my wealthy patient who had been He undoubtedly possessed an courage to its highest point to cured at the maximum fee of such 2 distin- two shillings for the attention address in Harley street cross-examine

By this time the court was although he seldom occupied his guished witness. I asked him if and sixpence for the medicine.

when WAK room, which was apparently in he was not accustomed to treat

the un- the basement but he was gen- and cure such coses at a shilling hilarious, and erally to be found in a back a time and threepence for the pointed out that if only

happy plaintiff had been charg street in Walworth, where he medicine,

ed at Walworth, instead carried on his general practice. The doctor smiled contemp- Harley-street rates, she would As the injured lady herself tuously. The question was ridl- have been able to attend the I invited Mr specialist every night for about of culous, he said. lived in the neighbourhood Walworth, it was thought sur Thompson to step forward. With three years, the onlookers rock- prising that she should prefer to a bound the office boy appeared ed with laughter. pay two guineas aplece for her in the well of the court, clasping

to Harley-street a bottle of medicine. many visits rather than the more modest fco charged by the same medical

at the art of persunding a judge dicat a who had discovered gentleman when occupying his Unable to say mysed by o ply bad hoofser

borse.

surgery off the Walworth-road,

he

some

of the true value of a decrepit that the accident had caused a

which complaint - serious Coleman owned a racehorse diagnosed as "traumatic neuras-

thenia, named Submit, who had won a and then broken famous race

down.

Coleman patched him up and although Submit's legs looked Ilke something in a pantomime, he won many races on them.

Curious diet

This remarkable form of ill- ness had sprung into notoriety much at the same time as motor Generally the old horse would omnibuses had appeared on the amble along, 100 yards behind streets, and it possessed certain his field, and then on his next curious features. outing would surprise every- by winning with the body greatest ease. It was all a ques- ton of how he happened to be feeling.

Good news

and

There were no outward visible signs of its existence: Indeed, ita, symptoms were both undiscoverable, and indisputable, and consisted of headaches, ner-

sleeplessness vousness,

and inability to do any work.

Only one more simple cai- culation was required." II the medicine for which we were be- ing to been dis-

on his usual terins, the plaintif would have enjoyed enough to

worth of traumatic neuras- thenia.

I asked if Mr Thompson wahavo cured the whole of Wal-

So it was decided to make

experiments into the a patient suffering from this habits of the specialist, and the serious complaint. The doctor office boy employed by my was quite sure he was not.

This obvious solicitor paid him a visit at his

exaggeration, I am afraid I stated, quite im was to discredit the whole case. house in Walworth.

properly, that na Mr. Thompson The, fury found for the defent Being an intelligent young had learned his symptoms from dants; the action was dismissed man he knew all the symptoms those set out in the statement and the plaintif got nothing, of traumatic neurasthenia, hav of claim in the present sellon, And I began to think my reading he was not likely to be mistaken education was nearing comple- ing learned them from the plaintiff's claim, and he told about his illness. the specialist he was suffering

I asked if he had been cured from them all,

at the price of one shilling for The doctor gave him a cur- attendance and threepence for sory examination, for which he the medicine, and the bullie of ono shilling, and medicine was handed up with a charged bottle of medicine, for which he request that the doctor should

extra threepence, charged an and foretold a quick recovery.

"

.

The treatment was equally Maximum fee

..form

mysterious, requiring repeated Coleman once asked me it 1 visits to a specialist, undertaken.

But, in case a jury should ever backed horses, and when I in the most expensive manner;

think that the extremely mo told him I did not, he said: large expenditure on chemists,

to the "Quite right.. "It's a mug's game, and a curious

of diet derate charge was due Never back horse unless

obvious youth of the patient, it I known as "extra nourishment,"

an older tell you to."

which

consisted of enormous visitor on a similar errand, and

was decided to send The first brief entrusted to me

quantities of exas, bulter and

a clerk paid a visit accordingly, was not important, but I remem- He told me to back Submit beef tea, with ocassional doses ber that it was marked with the twice, and each time it won, of the best brandy, all of which to the Walworth-road. magnificent fee of one guinea, once backed it without awaiting tended to increase the bill pre-

Не too, was suffering from and consisted of two sheets of; Coleman'a good advice, and the sented to the omnibus conipany. foolscap.

old horse was'

traumatie neurasthenia and so, still plodding

strangely round the course when the next. It is scarcely surprising that not unnaturally, he received the For a long time I devilled race had started.

eventually the companies decid- same attention and, without ceasing, struggling to

ignorance, and With Coleman and I on these ed that these bills must be dis enough, as the same charge of

and there arose a flood of one shilling, plus also gentleman, on in which the central for the medicine: hoping against hope that some CASES

thesa unhappy misguided solicitor's clerk might whose name I forget, who was deures were

traumatic Imagine that I was going to be an expert on obsolete vans, and ladies and their some good.

between us we managed to res neurasthenia, duce the claims. until the game. And then at last the moment, was hardly world the tande.It was into this branch of came. A stranger spoke to me and I felt I was an audiority on legal activities that I was pro as. I left the court.

defective tram lines.

rupted,

overcome my

10

Was

threepence

A still more important patient was thought desirable, and so the managing clerk himself; called at the surgery. He was attired in a splendour surpassing that usually enjoyed by manng-

EXCLUSIVE

tion.

TOMORROW: The Family Of Accidents

FLORISTS

Bouquet

ACT.CH!

ENIN

FOR THE··

ATHE

CARNARVON

KOWLOON

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