1939-06-16 — Page 16

E. C. Fincher and G. C. Burnett of K.C.C. snapped during the game against South China last Monday.

ORDEAL BY

STAIRWAY

HUSH falls over the gay

A chattering groups as she

glides down the great staircase with cool, unhurried steps. She holds the

centre of the stage and she knows it.

Only the confidence born of a very slender lissom figure could stand up to ordeal by stairway on an "Orders and Decorations" occasion like tonight. She takes no chances with that willowy figure of hers. If, through some rare oversight; her host fails to see that there is gin and Rose's Lime Juice -- then she just sighs faintly and drinks nothing. He is a lucky host who sees her a second time at his parties after making such a gaffe. There are many, many parties, but only one Rose's.

The Start of the procession of Corpus Christi led by Boy Scouts. The procession was attended by a large number of Catholics.

CABBAGES AND KINGS

JUST IN CASE

Before entering a taxi an old lady told the driver where to go and what to do. "Obey all the traffic signals, Sound your horn at the corners. Keep to the left side of the street. Drive slowly so you won't skid. Give all the signals correctly.” “O.K., mum” he said, "Hop in, and, by the way, mum, in case there's an accident, what hospital would you like to go to?"

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NOT FROM ROYAL OBSERVATORY

After moving into a top-floor flat the new tenant complained to his landlord, "Look here,” he said, "last night the rain came through the roof and gave me a regular shower bath. What are you going to do about it?" "What do you expect me to do. provide you with soap and towels." "Well," said the tenant, "How long is that going to last?" "How do I know!" the landlord said, "I'm no weather prophet."

**

QUANDARY

A man stayed the night with a' friend who kept an inn. At din- ner he was served with

some prime Stilton cheese. Unable to touch it, and not wishing to of fend his friend, he hid it in the bottom of a plant.

About a fortnight later, he re- ceived a telegram from his friend. It ran: "We know who it is, and we knew who it is, and we know what it is, but for beaven's sake tell us where it is."

"BLIMEY"

An Australian girl bought a ticket at a Tube station and ab- sent-mindedly threw it away.

NO PEDESTRIAN

The owner of the shoe store surveyed the ticket one of the as- sistants was putting on a pair of shoes.

"Take that off," he said sternly. "Never have I sold anything by false representation, and I'm not going to start now."

The assistant waited, seeing that his employer was thinking deeply.

"No," went on the owner, "it is an inferior grade of shoe, and I will not pass it off as anything hetter. Mark it ‘A Shoe Fit for a Queen,' and put in the window- a queen does not have to do much walking."

* * HIS CHOICE

Artemus Ward once wanted to cross a father dangerous river and asked the ferrymen standing by which of them could swim.

Several called out at once that they could swim. Seeing another who had nothing to say, 'Arte- mus Ward asked if he could swim. "No," said the man, sorrowfully. "Then you're the man to take me over," was the reply.

EVERYTHING ELSE

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She was one of those tiresome women who will go on talking when their husbands want to go to sleep. He had been very pa- tient, and answered all her silly questions. At last she said: "George, dear, is everything shut up for the night?"

George sighed deeply. "Yes," he replied, "everything else, dear."

MYOPIC

went

The short-sighted man into the shop for a pair of cheap spectacles. He tried pair after When she arrived at her de- pair until he got one which suit- stination the ticket-collector helded him prefectly. out his hand.

"Ticket, please," he said. "I'm afraid I've lost it," said the girl,

"Where do you come from?" "Australia." "Blimey!"

He put them on and walked into the street. The first thing he saw was a hawker selling grapes from a barrow.

"I think I'll take a bunch of these balloons home to the kids," he said,