1939-06-12 — Page 8

MUTT AND JEFF

THE CLIMATE'S

VERY DRY

•HERE?

DÕESKT IT EVER RAIN IN THESE PARTS?

RAIN? HUH! WAY, I SEEN FROGS ON THIS LAND OVER FIVE YEARS

OLD THAT HAIN'T LEARNED TO SWIM

YET!

15-4

Page

"THEN YOU DON'T GET MUCH RAIN,

EH?

NOT AS MUCH AS THE REST OF THE

FARMERS AROUND

HERE DO!

NOT AS MUCH?

THE CHINA MAIL, JUNE 12, 1939.

By BUD FISHER

́IF YOU'RE ALL IN THE SAME SECTION YOU MUST ALL GET

¿THE SAME AMOUNT

HOW CAN THEY

BUT

POSSIBLY GET

THEY'VE GOT MORE LAND, YOU DUMBBELLS!

OF RAIN!

WE

·MORE RAIN

DON'T!

THAN YOU?

1. Gewe zetinin haered

TEE FOR ONE

“Jackson, old boy, congratulate me. Kindly slap me on the back.”

"Certainly, my dear fellow, but may I

You haven't got'. ask you why ? engaged, I hope ? " "No, no. This is something really important. I did the fourteenth in one yesterday. A blow in a million l The swipe to end all swipes!"

"But I don't understand. You look as fit as the proverbial Stradivarius. Were there no celebrations ?"

"Celebrations ? There's been noth- ing like it since the. Relief of Mafcking."

"Perhaps I'm dense, but I still don't understand, Forgive “my bluntness;– but where's the hangover ?," "Hangovers? Haven't you heard? There aren't any nowadays. You just drink Gimlets, or take a long glass of Rose's Lime Juice after the jamboree. It's just a question of therapeutic action as a doctor once described it to me. 11

#

So Rowe's prevents the mornings after ?"

EL

Really and truly. You know, old boy, you ought to keep a bottle of Rose's in your locker. Some day even -you may do a hole in one!".

PRESIDENT LINER SAILINGS

SAN FRANCISCO AND LOS ANGELES

Via

SHANGHAI, KOBE, YOKOHAMA AND HONOLULU

8.8. "PRESIDENT TAFT”.

8.8. "PRESIDENT CLEVELAND"

8.8. "PRESIDENT. PIERCE"

8.8. "PRESIDENT COOLIDGE"

}}

SAILS JUNE 16th at 12.01 A.M, JUNE 30th at" 12.01 A.M. JULY 14th at 12.01 A.M. JULY 29th at 10.00'A.M. AUG. 12th at 8.00 A.M. AUG. 26th at 8.00 A.M. AND FORTNIGHTLY THEREAFTER NEW YORK AND BOSTON VIA SUEZ

S.S. "PRESIDENT TAFT"

S.S. "PRESIDENT CLEVELAND"

17

S.S. "PRESİDENT GARFIELD" SAILS. JULY 7th at 12. Noon S.S. "PRESIDENT MONROE”

JULY 21st at 9.00 P.M. ~ AND FORTNIGHTLY THEREAFTER

MANILA

S.S. "PRESIDENT CLEVELAND" 8.8. "PRESIDENT PIERCE" - 9.8. "PRESIDENT GARFIELD" 8:8; “PRESIDENT COOLIDGE"

19

SAILS JUNE 23rd at 1.00 A.M. JULY 7th at 1.00 A.M. JULY 7th at 12 Noon JULY 21st at 9.00 P.M.

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THE DAILY SHORT STORY

Traffic Problem

In Mountain Retreat, that glorious they expected Len to pull out of thin and lovely haven of rest and quiet, air a new plank for his platform that excitement and pleasure, adventure would overshadow Charlie Marshall's

and romance, located among the hills brilliant speech and assure Len the of western Massachusetts you may election. They knew as well as he see on any summer's day along the that it would be disastrous to allow main street automobiles from every Charlie to win.

state in the union and many. foreign

a

lands. Mountain Retreat's fame is But Len offered nothing. Much of widespread; its summer visitor popu- the time he expressed a desire to be lation greatly outnumbers its natives. alone. His party members were non- Growth has been amazing within the plussed. They grumbled among them- past decade; the resor't greatest pro- selves. Perhaps they had made a blem, its annual headache to the po- mistake in placing their faith in him. lice department is the traffic problem. Charlie Marshall was confident and Roads and parking spaces are in- adequate, at present, to accommodate

trimphant and amug. He adopted comfortably the hundreds of cars.

swagger and a patronizing manner. Two days before election his party Len Rogers, sitting alone, in his leaders conducted a monstrous rally. law office, mulled these things over. Charlie, the chief speaker, merely re- There was a frown on Len's face, for treated his traffic problem plan, and in one week's time Mountain Retreat mentioned that he was confident of be

Magnanimously he con- was to elect a mayor, and Len coveted in elected. the office.

the

To his great annoyance the gratulated len on putting up a good coveting was going to prove of little fight. avail, for the mayoralty election had "The following night Len was been neatly bagged and sewed up by chief speaker at a rally of his own party. The hall was Jammed, for these elections were always a source Charlie Marshall. had scored a of entertainment for the visitors. Joe triumph by adopting the traffic pro- Scott, the party leader, tried to ap-

Charlie Marshall.

•

By Stanley Cordell

blem as his platform. More, he had been skillful and shrewd in his hand ing of it.

pear enthusiastic and confident when he introduced Len, but his voice lack.. ed in that quality that stimulates as-

surance.

"The traffic problem is our greatest headache, "he had declared. "Yet upon Len stood up, cleared his throat, the visitors who come to our fair city produced a sheaf of papers. He spoke each summer we depend for our live first of Charlie Marshall's traffic pro- lihood. We must not offend them. blera plan, He complimented Charlie How then can we cope with speeding on the idea. automobiles, reckless driving, needless

accidents and still maintain the good "In fact," said Len, "I thought the will of our guests? I'll tell you how. idea so good that I decided to give it By placing them on their honour. My a test before the scheme was actually very first act, following my election to adopted by the city council. Each office, will be to appoint a committee day during the past week I have stood to stand on street corners and high- for two hours at important traffic cen- ways and jot down the name of the ters. I have jotted down the name state on the license tag on every reck of the states on the license tage of lessly driven car. I will then publish fast drivers, slow drivers, non-signall- the name of the state having the most ing drivers, light-jumping drivers, dis- reckless drivers, the name of the se- courteous drivers, fire plug parking cond most and so on down. I will drivers and all other drivers who are "Len cleared then appeal to the sense of fair play inconsiderate of others." and pride of the visitors from those his throat, consulted his papers. "In states. I will conduct ́n campaign, every single case the cars that were the state having the fewest number out of order bore license tags of of reckless drivers to be honored at Massachusetts. In fact, Charlie Mar- a banquet sponsored by the city off shall's car was parked in front of a cials at the end of the season."

fire plug for two hours the day be- fore yesterday. I have all the facts and figures here. if

anyone would care to look at them."

·

Len Rogers drummed on his desk, No use denying it, Charlie Marshall had touched on the very thing that would win him the election. His plan Nobody did. was reasonable and logical. Yet Len Len was elected. The traffle pro- felt that Mountain Retreat would blem is still acute. People from other suffer if Charlie 'were elected. Char- states are vastly amused. lle. talked well, but he wasn't a man·· of scruples.

(Distributed, By The Newspapers.)

Len strode to the window bohind his desk that overlooked Mountain Retreat's main thoroughfare. Beneath 'him two lines of automobiles crawled

slowly by. There was much "shout- ing and horn honking. -

"A week before election," Len thought. "And I've got to think up something that's as vital to the voters as this traffic business." The frown on his forehead deeponded. After awhile he got his hat and went out.

Len Rogers' constituents were con- cerned. Not only concerned, but dle- appointed. Whereas none of .them offer, had anything constructive to

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