MUTT AND JEFF
I'LL TAKE ONE OF THESE QUARTER CIGARS!
ARE THEY GOOD?
BEST IN THE PLACE,:
SIR!
MR. BUCKS, I CAME HERE TO SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT MARRYING YOUR DAUGHTER! I SINCERELY LOVE HER AND I WOULD GO THROUGH FIRE AND WATER TO MAKE HER THE HAPPIEST WOMAN
IN THE WORLD?
I LIKE YOU, MR.BUCKS! HAVE A CIGAR! THAT'S WHY I CAME TO YOU TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO MAKE HER MY WIFE! NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE WEALTHY, UNDERSTAND--
JUST A MOMENT! I HAVE NO DAUGHTER!
You
い
HAVEN'T?
NO!
?
#27
|(Örgyriska. 1906, by 3 ̧¤ Fiber)
Trade Mark Bag. §. §. Par. Ortw
JUNE 6, 1
By BUD FISHER
YOU OLD BUZZARD, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
TIFFIN, MY BOY, TIFFIN
"Lovely smell of cooking in the club this morning. Scrambled eggs, cut- lets, and that excellent curry the secretary introduced from Penang, Makes a feller's mouth water. I've half a mind to go through the lot.".
*
Can't you talk of anything except food I doubt if I shall ever eat again.” "Fairly dripping with sweetness and light this morning, aren't you? Advanced case of hangover, I'll bet a couple of chips. Some of you young fellers haven't enough sense to come in out of the rain."
"That's right. Moralize, you hypo-
· crite. -I suppose you never woke up with a head or a tongue like a strip of ancient gunny bag.'
"On the contrary, I have in the past cultivated some of the finest hang- overs of all time. But that was back in the bad old days before I'd heard of Rose's Lime Juice,”
What on earth has Rose's got to do with hangovers ?"
It
'Everything, my dear Watson. wipes them out. If you stick to Gimlets or have a good stiff swig before going to bed, you'll have no regrets in the morning."
"Rose's Lime Juice you said ? "
"Yes, Rose's."
"Lend me a pencil, and I'll write it down."
PRESIDENT LINER SAILINGS
SAN FRANCISCO AND LOS ANGELES
Via
SHANGHAI, KOBE, YOKOHAMA AND HONOLULU
S.S. "PRESIDENT TAFT”
S.S. "PRESIDENT CLEVELAND"
S.S. "PRESIDENT PIERCE"
S.S. "PRESIDENT COOLIDGE"
S.S. "PRESIDENT TAFT""
8.8. "PRESIDENT CLEVELAND”
SAILS JUNE 16th at 1201 A.M.
#1
JUNE 30th at 12.01 A.M.
#1
"J
JULY 14th at 12.01 A.M. JULY 29th at 10.00 A.M. AUG. 12th at 8.00 AM, AUG. 26th at 8.00 A.M. AND FORTNIGHTLY THEREAFTER NEW YORK AND BOSTON VIA SUEZ
SAILS JUNE 9th at 12 Noon
JULY 7th at 12 Noon.
S.S. “PRESIDENT POLK" S.S. "PRESIDENT GARFIELD”
AND FORTNIGHTLY THEREAFTER
MANILA
S.S. "PRESIDENT TAFT"
S.S. "PRESIDENT POLK” S.S. "PRESIDENT· CLEVELAND”
S.8. "PRESIDENT PIERCE"
SAILS JUNE 9th at 1.00 A.M.
JUNE 9th at 12 Noon JUNE 26th at 1.00 A.M. JULY ́ 7th at 1.00 A.M.
11
* AMERICAN ✰✰
PRESIDENT LINES
ROUND WORrld services.
12. PEDDER ST.
TELEPHONE: 28171
THE DAILY SHORT STORY
A WISE BUYER
Dana Bridges 1s a printer by trade, but everyone says he should be a sales- man. He has a very competent and confident manner. His choice of words is vivid, his gestures impressive, his delivery powerful,
Back in 1923 Dana bought a Nor- thland Special Six. As everyone knows the Northland is one of the most ex- pensive cars on the market. Dana's in- come is not large, but he is the type of man who likes the best or nothing.
"In the long run a Northiand is the best buy," he told his wife. "It will outlive three smaller and cheaper cars. If we're going to own an automobile, we'll save money by buying a North- land."
Rachael, Dana's wife, knew by ex- perience that Dana usually knew what ne was talking about. She remember- ed the time he had purchased the mos- quito-infested swamp land that border- ed the wagon road south of town. She had thought he was crazy and told him so, but two years later the new Federal highway had cut right through that swamp land and Dana had made a pot
She was right. For sixteen years the Bridges' kept their Northland Special Six, and after awhile the neighbours stopped laughing and some of them be- gan to think that maybe Dana was pretty smart, especially the summer that Dana and Rachael took a month off and went to Europe on the money they had saved by not buying automo- biles.
In the spring of 1939 Dana drove his Northland Special down to the North- land salesroom and told the floorman he wanted to buy a new Super Special Eight, complete with radio, heater, clock and any other gadgets they had.
"Have you a car to trade in?" the salesman asked.
"Sure," said Dana. "It's a píp, too. A 1923 model.”
"You mean, of course, a 1933 model," the salesman said politely.
"No," said Dana, “I mean 1923." The salesman coughed. "I'm afraid we can't allow you very much on a car as old as that.”
Dana waved an airy hand. "Take me to the president of this outfit.
By Karl Grayson
I
of money. He, had grinned at her can't be bothered with underlings." He amazement and explained how he'd read glared at the salesman. The salesman about the new Federal highway and flushed. He started to say something figured they'd go right through the and Dana repeated his request
thundering tones.
swamp.
in
So when Dana said they ought to So a few minutes later Dana was own a Northland she nodded and smil ushered into the president's office. ed and felt confident that everything "Commere," he said to the president, would be all right. She didn't, how- beckoning him to 1 window. "See ever, anticipate owning and driving the that shiny, good looking car out there? same car for sixteen years. Not that It's a Northland, 1923 model. It's she minded too much. The Northland, been driven over 200,000 miles. It runs as the world knows, is expensive en as good as new. Looks as ough so that the manufacturers don't new, doesn't it? Now, look, Mr. Presi- good as have to change the design too radically dent, would it or would it not be a each year. Fundamentally the 1923 good advertisement for you
if you Northland had the same lines that the stuck that car in your show window new 1939 Super Special possessed. and put a sign on it saying it was six Moreover, Dana being a painstaking teen years old and had gone 200,000 type of person, kept the machine in miles and doesn't that prove that a apple-pie order. The paint looked Northland can take the gaff?" like new. The engine purred like a kitten. The nickel trimmings ghone The president got his hat and went. brightly. The upholstery was tected with slip covers.
pro-
Не out and looked at Dana's car. drove it around the block. "What kind Nevertheless, it was an ancient hack of a trade do you want," he asked and the neighbours used to grin when Dana. the Bridges" drove by, and Racheal "I'll swap you even," said Dana, felt embarrassed and wished that they "for a 1939 Super Special, complete could have a new car.
with gadgets."
en-
"Why," Dana demanded when she The president smiled, then sobered, hinted at such an idea, "The old then figured on the back on an hack's going all right. No engine velope, then looked at Dana's car again, trouble. Looks good. Why swap her then nodded. "It's a deal,” he said. in?"
"The Somerses,” said Rachael, "have had three new cars while we've only had this one."
And now poor. Rachael is wondering whether she will have to wait another sixteen years before she gets a new
car.
"Yeah," declared Dana, "and they (Copyright, 1939, By The Associated haven't got anything else. They sink Newspapers.) all their money into automobiles. They aren't able to go places like we do. Their furniture looks like heck. Their house needs painting.
Honey, we're
way ahead of them,
Which was true, Rachael only wished that a person's financial status and social standing weren't judged thes days almost wholly by the automo- biles they drove.
After the Bridges had owned their Northland seven years a salesman tried hard to gell Dana a new car,
Dana listened to his talk and then asked what he'd offer for the 1923 model. The salesman named a figure so low that Dana got mad and kicked him off the place And Rachael decided, with a sigh, that now their chance of buy- ing a new automobile was remote in- deed.
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