1939-03-10 — Page 9

CHINA

MAIL

FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, MARCH 10.

ISTEN. fellers; I am Abo

Hymie Finkelstein an' I wolk for Rudy Scraut who is the guy with the delicatessen on Forty- fifth and Myrtle.

Maybe you know guys who have been the victims of those gangsters and maybe you know guys who was also the victim of the police department; but I am

3

guy who has been, welted like you never saw by the gangsters and the police department anʼ everybody else round here.

An' if you say why I say it is for the reason that I am a smart guy

with poisonality an' becase, other guys is jealous of me becase the dames fall for me in a big way. If this ain't the caso then I am an Indian princess with a coupla wooden legs.

One of these days if some gang- sters will take hold of Police Cap tain Doo O'Hagan an' will put him in a sack and go, throw him in the lake then I will start be- lievin' that there is some justice around this burg. Also if some gorilla like Dillinger will proceed to shoot up that blonde dame what took advantage of my sex- . attraction then I will believe some more in Father Christmas which is a thing that I do not believe in anyhow.

If I was not a big guy like I am I would be altogether broke up about this business; but you do not have to worry about Abe Finkelstein thank you very much bécase I have already got back

Short Story

my noive and am at this time makin' a big play for Lilly Scapa- lensi who is not so easy to look at but who has some nice pros peets even if her father does say that he would rather see her buried alive with snakes rather than his girl should be married to me. Even this pa is jealous of my sex-attraction.

Well, it is lovely night like you never saw an' I am goin' home feelin' like a million dollars. I am wearing a hot pertater suit→ twenty dollars with two pair of - pants-an a plaid four-in-hand with a white homberg and a walk- in' stick with a tomato in ivory on the top.

I know I am lookin' good which makes me indifferent to the giant raspberry which the newsboy on the corner hands out to me be case I know that this guy is also jealous of my appeal.

Suddenly I see the blonde who comes into the delicatessen for caviare on Saturday nights. This blonde is the berries an' when she sees me she stops dead like she was suddenly paralysed.

This girl is just like a film stor except that she ain't had her face lifted an 1 have often thought that she is a classy dame only I do not know if she has got prospecks an" a goil without prospecks is no goil for Abe.

So she comes up to me an" she says Abe I am in a very bad fam an' you must help me out becase you are the sort of a guy like I could fall for some more if I got to know you good, an' if you will do sumptin for me I will see that you, get a kundred dollars an? ́Ï ́

·

1939

ABE AND THE GANGSTERS

will never be able to refuse you nothin' oven if I don't like you.

So I says what an' she says that if I will take this big black violin case down to Giekel's speakeasy and give It to some guy called Gatty then this guy will give me a hundred bucks.

I say O.K. sister an' I start off for Giekel's. But on the way I be gin to think what is in this case because it is heavy like some dead guy was in it, so I drop in at my room on Myrtle: an' I open it up an' inside there is a Thompson machine gun and six pistols all loaded up like you never saw.

Now it looks as if this dame is tryin' to slip some business over on me, but I remember that I am a smart guy with ideas so I rush around to Krimp's shootin' gal- lery an' I do some business an' I . rush back an' do some more busi- ness with these guns an" then I go down to Giekel's an' wait for this guy Gatty.

Presently he comes along an' he is some tough egg an' I hand him the case an' I say what about the, hundred buck an he sticks one of these guns in my ribs an in- forms me that if I do not get in- the car that is parked outside he is goin' to blow the top of my head into Queen's County.

So I do not argue with this guy but I do what he says an' we go

By Peter Cheyney

off to some basement dump where there is a lot of thugs sittin' around drinkin'

rye like you never saw an' they tear open the case an' take out the guns. Then the head gorilla says what shall we go with this mug boys becase he might start shootin' his mouth to the cops an" they all say bump him off Joe, but before they have finished sayin' it I am out of a door I seen at the back an' am scrammin' down the street like some mad racehorses.

When I have got myself away I think that this is a bum trick, for the blonde to play on me an’- I start to use my brains once again so I get into a

taxi-cab

after I have got the money from Rachel Moshinski who happens to be passin' an' I go to the thir teenth precinct an' I see Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan an' I tell him the whole works an' he is very excited an' says that this is the Stripey Gang" an' that, my information is so hot that maybe he will make me a detective or a police commissioner or something for this.

I say wait a minute an’. I ask him if he would like to be the big guy who took the Stripey Gang singlehanded an' I tell him how I have took all the ball ammunition out of them guns an' loaded them up with blanka what I got from Krimp's shootin' gällery.

We then informs me that I am a credit to the United States an' that by the time he le through with me I will probably be chief of the G men, an' that he is also goin' to give me one hundred dollars reward, a free pass for

Shombergs waxworks an' a lot of other things. He then says that I should go home an' await further doinga

So I go back home an' one hour later there is a special edition which says that Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan has arrested seven members of the Stripey Gang single-handed, an" that they was all armed with machine guns an' cannons like you never saw, an" that he is about the bravest guy since Christopher Columbine.

This looks plenty good to me so I get myself around to the pre- cinct an' I see Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan an' I ask him about the hundred dollars an' all the other things an' he says 'go jump in the lake an' if he has any -more of this stuff outa me he will

have

me arrested under the Mann Act, the Baumes Act, the Vagrants Act and for tryin' to blackmail a police captain.

I am now feelin' not so hot an' I tell him that he is a big cheese an' that he would not have ar- rested these guys if I had not tipped him off that their guns was only loaded up with blanks, an* I also say that I will take slip them the works about this busineÍR.

He says oh yeah he will show me something an' he telephones through to the newspaper office an' says that if some lunatic named Abe Finkelstein

ever

shows up he should be held for the police. He then calls in some other guys an' has them throw me into the can on a charge of throwin' a hamburger at an old lady on Forty-second street last Tuesday. By which you will see that this Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan is a four-flushin' twicer an' that he is framin, me like I was a big ninny”.

So next morning when they let me out of the can I start to use my brains some more an' T ask some guy in the precinct. if the gangsters who have been taken by O'Hagen have got themselves

lawyer an' he says yes.

So I get around to this law- yer an' I tell him that if he will give me a hundred dollars I will splutter a bibful that will astound tell him the story about the.. the world. He says O,K, an' so I'

blanks an' that these gorillas was not really armed with lethal- weapons after which this lawyer: laughs his head off an' says that he will make O'Hagan withdraw the charge or look like a monkey to the whole world.

He then says I should go home an” that if I will get around to this office the next morning he will hand me a hundred bucks, an' about two hours afterwards. there is another special edition that says that Captain Dooley O'Hagan has made one big mis- take ap' that the gang is not the Stripey Gung'at all but a mestin' of a commercial travellers shoot- in' club, an' they have all been released, by which it looks like this lawyer has given Captain Dooley O'Hagan the works –

Now I am feelin' very good he- case I have taught Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan that he cannot make a sucker out of Abe Finkel- stein an next mornin Around to the lar for the hundred buat gives a merry lau

to go jump in the lake, an' that M Ltry any of that blackmailin' stuff around there he will have me pinched for firin' hayricks. He then calls in some other guy who throws me out on the side walks.

I am now feelin' that I am goin' to be very sick any time now be- case of the deal I am gettin' around here from one an' all. Be- case all the time it looks like I. am going to get some money an’ all I get is a lot of right royal raspberries, from the whole woild. But even at this time my brains begins to work some more an' I get myself a tram an' I go to the basement where the gangsters are operatin'.

And they are all there an' I say was the big guy who got them howdy boys an' I tell them that out of a helluva jam becase. I knew that Police Captain Dooley O'Hagan was after them an’ that was why I loaded up them guns with blanks...

The big gorilla then says this mug ain't so bad an' they whip around an' they give me a hun- dred dollars an' a highball.

I now begin to feel good some more becase I have now got one hundred smackers, an' I have also got the low-down on Police Cap- tain Dooley O'Hagan who I reckon is-feelin' like a boiled

pork chop in a snow-storm, an' I get myself around to my place on

· Myrtle-street an' as I am goin' up the stairs I hear that there is some goil in my room an' she is is singin' I Can't Give You Any- thing But Love Baby so I guess that this is probably some dame who has fallen for me in a big way.

However I am wrong some more becase it is the blonde gangster goil who asked me to carry the guns an' before I can do anything she pulls out a rod and she tells me that she has got word from the gangsters that they have handed me out a hundred smack- ers an' do I think that I am goin' to get away with that stuff when I am nothin' but a coppers nose who has been givin' information (Continued on Page 7)

I MEAN ITI I WANT THE BABY POWDER THAT FIGHTS GERMS

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