1938-11-18 — Page 8

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Page

MUTT AND JEFF

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WHY DO YOU SAY, "MY MAN" WHEN I BELONG TO MY

WIFE?

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IF YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO WRITE HOME DON'T. Just Post a Copy of the

Overland China Mail

which gives all the News, there IS—

Both Local, and Coastal

THE DAILY SHORT STORY

TIM

A Political Joke

[IM O'HARE, returning from a for the kids. He advocated spending month's vacation in Europe, found money for every ridiculous project he a small army of news reporters, cam- could think of. eramen, newsreel boys and wildly cheer? The crowd bowled and cheered and ing citizens waiting, at the dock to whistled and stamped. This Was greet him. Tim was bewildered. He something. This was the sort of cam- had, he felt, always been a good and paigning they liked. Harvey Fletcher, fairly popular citizen of Lanchester, shrewd and cunning-and the head of but he did not feel that his goodness one of the most powerful and crooked- and his popularity warranted such an est machines in the state might be able ovation after being absent for a mere to get himself elected, but he couldn't month,

make a speech like that.

There was something about all this Tim got away at last and went home he decided that he didn't understand. and tried to get some rest. But there Recognising: his old friend Bill Turrett wasn't any rest for him. Reporters in the crowd who pressed forward, he and cameramen flocked about the collared him and proceeded to ask house, inside and out. They wanted to questions. Bill yelled something that hear more of Tim's fantastic ideas. It was entirely drowned by the clamouring made, better political copy than they'd of the mob, The next Tim knew he ever known.

was seated beside Bill in the tonneau And so for a month Tim played of an open touring car, moving slowly along. He kept kidding and joshing through the streets of Lanchester, pre- and making funny speeches. The peo- ceded by a brass band. Citizens lined ple liked it, but it was getting him the curbs and yelled and waved and down. He wasn't attending to busi- shouted things that made. Time more ness as he should. He wasn't getting puzzled than ever..

his sleep. Doggone, he'd be glad when

Then suddenly they reached the election was over:-and they let him square and Time saw a great banner alone. Maybe it was fun for the vot- stretched across the street. "Beware ers, but how about him? A joke was of O'Hare!" the banner shrieked in a joke and being a good sport was all red and green paint.

right too, but there ought to be an end Farther up the street was another to all things,⠀ ER banner. "Vote for Tim and Keep The end to. Tim O'Hare's joke came Taxes Dim," the second banner read. about 11 o'clock election night. Bill Tim's mouth. fell open. He turned Turrett called him up and told him he to find Bill Turrett grinning at him. was elected.

By Richard Hill Wilkinson

*

Bill, for the love of gosh. darn, what's this all mean?”

"You've been nominated for mayor;" 'Bill shouted back. "I'm 'your cam- |paign manager.”

"You're nuts!" Tim yelled into the phone.

•

"All right, Call up headquarters and find out. I tell you, people got such a big kick out of the joke they figured For several seconds Tim just stared: they'd go the limit and cast a vote in "You're crazy!" he blurted finally. “It's your behalf. None of 'em thought a practical joke. I've never hold an you'd be elected, but you'd been such office in my life.. I. don't know a dog- a good sport they wanted to show their gone thing about politics. Besides, appreciation, Trouble is, about 80 Harvey Fletcher's running on the op- per cent. of the voters felt the same position ticket, and there isn't a man way. Fletcher's wild. Nobody, in- in the state can beat his machine." cluding himself, figured there was a Bill laughed and nødded in agree- man could, lick him. I'll be over in ment. "Everybody knows that. While half an hour.”

you were away a few of us got to- When Bill Turrett arrived, Tim was gether and filed nomination papers for seated in an easy chair, smoking B you: Sure it's a joke, but it's about cigarette, a contented, triumphant look time. we put a little life in politics on his face..................

around here. They've been too cut and "I told you we could do it, Bill. I dried. Everyone knows you can't be knew there was some way of licking elected, but that won't spoil the fun. that bandit Fletcher. You'll have to Other cities have parades, and speech- confess it was a smart idea." ́making and such, and it's high time we "Yeah." Bill mopped his forehead. had some. Even Harvey's in on it. "And the smartest thing we can do Did you notice the banner: 'Beware of from now on is to keep our mouths O'Hare? Pretty good, eh?".

shut. If the voters ever suspect, the

"Yeah, swell!" Tim declared, "Swell campaign was a gag, perpetrated by for everyone but me. I'm the goat." us, they'd never get over it." He looked out over the crowd. They A joke's a joke," Tim agreed. “And were shouting and waving excitedly. this, stops being a joke the minute I They wanted him to make a speech. get sworn in to, office.”

"Go on," Bill Turrett grinned. "Talk

at 'em!"

Tim was on the point of getting out

of the car and trying to escape. Then

he grinned. To do that would put him as a poor

(Copyright 1988, by. The Associated Newspapers.)*-

for it and the pot sport. He was in POPPY DAY FUND

might as well make the

best of the situation. He stood up.

The cheering of the crowd subsided.

Tim grinned, cleared his throat and

82.

seems

stat

Previously acknowledged $14,747.-

assumed the post of a flory `politician. Royal Hong Kong. Golf

He spoke of the signal honour that had – Club (Sales) been thrust upon him. He told them HMS. "Daring" what a swell mayor he'd be. He HIM.S. "Diamond" promised a five-day week with six-day

pay. He promised not to take more *H!M:8: “Diana” than: $50,000 a year, for graft besides RA¡F! Kai Tak his salary. He promised to boost taxes Union Church and throw the city into bankruptcy. He promised holidays every Wednesday adults and only three days of school

32.00

30.00

21.89

21.09

16.22

63.19

$14,982.21