1938-09-09 — Page 7

CABBAGES AND KINGS

Jock McKelvie's rink in the Scotland-England bowls international. Others in the picture are John Watson, E. G. Post and J. G. Meyer. ("Mail" photo).

Not So Tough

"Sorry we can't stay; we have the wife's mother for lunch."

"That's all right, We're only having chops."

Collects Wager

*

*

I once laid a wager that * I would drive round, Rotten Row, an exercise forbidden by the re- gulations. A party assembled to watch the event; and while they were looking out for me, a man driving the Park water-cart came by, and turned the water on them. Then the company, look- ing closer at the driver, perceived that I had won my bet. -from "Lord Charles Beresford."

Cimema Fairy Tales

7

*

**

*

Once upon a time a beauty queen wasn't offered a film con- tract.

Once upon a time a film star got married and stayed married to the same man for ten years.

There was once a film featur- ing Constance Bennett in which the star didn't register despair for a single moment.

Once upon a time a young man sat next to a very pretty girl in the cinema and made no

move

whatsoever to speak or flirt with her.

Once upon a time a certain American picture, corporation produced a sad film in which the hero and heroine "didn't live happily ever after:

There was once a small boy who went to a museum and bought a catalogue with his pence instead of going to moviea..

at-.

There was once a cinema tendant who showed an early ar- rival at the afternoon perform- ance into the best seat in the one- and-threes.

“Darling," said Mrs. Henpeck to her husband as the film heroine kissed the hero, he makes love just like you do, but up to now f haven't appreciated it!”

(UB)

UB.Pilsener Beer

Union Brewery

Limited

UB

THE POPULAR BEER

Sole Agents: W. R. LOXLEY & CO. (CHINA), LTD.