MATE
A Morrison Hall competitor clearing the bar in the High Jump at the University Sports. ("Mail" photo).
CABBAGES AND KINGS
Sh-h!
"Thanks, Sir Whiggby. I want you to make the acquaintance of my partner, Mr. Yeagley."
"Yeagley, huh? Didn't I present you chaps recently on an arson charge.”
re-
"No, must have have been two other felons."
F *
*
Saw the Point at Last A tramp stopped at the kit- chen door of the farmhouse and asked for something to eat.
"If you'll go out in the wood- shed," the farmer's wife told him, “and split up the logs you find there, I'll give you a good meal.” time In a surprisingly short the tramp returned; but an in- spection of the woodshed by the good wife showed all the logs carefully split, except one guari- ed, knotty, old stump. Well satis- fied, she spread a generous meal before him, and as he ate, she said: "I do wish you'd tell me how you split those logs so quickiy and so easily."
night,
“Why, madam, I simply stood beside them and told them funny stories, and they split themselves.”
In the middle of the there was a great commotion in the woodshed, and on rushing in to investigate, the amazing dis- covery was made that the gnarl- ed, knotty old stump had split itself into a thousand pieces.
It was a piece of English, walnut.
On three occasions recently fog was responsible for political speakers arriving too late to zad- dress meeting. But fog also has its disadvantages, of course,
No one can make us believe that designers of millinery haven't been on vacation for many mont
It is too evident that the current women's hats are entirely premeditated.
на
A patch on the pants is pre- ferable to a patched conscience.
Slightly more hopeful is a new "What is tendency not to ask. the country coming to?** but "When?"
His Choice
Waiters, of course are not in 2 position to snap back at ill- English bred guests; but one headwaiter once made the perfect retort to an uncouth customer:
"My position, Sir," he said, "does not allow me to argue with you; but if it ever came to choice of weapons, I would choose grammar."The Listener.
**
Landlubber
2
"What are you smelling my fish for?" demanded the fishmonger
of the customer.
"I'm not smelling plied the customer.
him," re- "I'm only
talking to him and, asking him what news from sea."
"And what does he say?" "He says he doesn't know he hasn't been there these three weeks."--Tit-Bits.
Call About A Month Later The old commercial traveller was relating his experiences to a young man. “And don't forget, never try to sell an encyclopedia to a bride."
"And why not?”
"She always thinks her hus- band knows everything"
Doing His Part
A cart was ambling along a country road one dark night. large car was approaching in the opposite direction. The driver of the car dipped his glaring headlights to avoid dazzling the carrier.
"George," said the carrier to his mate, "we must retum the compliment. Just blow that off side candle out. Pearson's.
Looks as if he will be well over. Another jump at the University Sports. ("Mail” photo).
Next!
The minister was remarkable for the neatness and point of his pulpit utterances. Once, during- a disastrous strike, a capitalist arose in church and asked leave to speak. The minister gave him permission and the man deliver ed himself of a long. panegyric upon captains of industry, upon the good they do by giving men work, by booming the country, by reducing the cost of production,
and so forth.
When the capitalist had fish- ed his self-praise and, flushed and satisfied, had sat down again, the clergyman said with quiet significance; "Is there any other sinner that would like to say a word 92
Imploration
We beg on bent And stiffened knees For no more parodies On Kilmer's
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