THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT DECEMBER 31, 1937
"T
CABBAGES AND KINGS
HEARD you fell down stan
this morning. How did that happen?"
"I started to go down, and my wife said, 'Be careful, John.” I'm not the man to be dictated to by any woman, and so down I went.”
Solved.
Mussolini says that Italy doesn't own the submarine which attacked HMS. Basilisk recently; neither Hitler nor Franco knows any- thing about it. So it must just have escaped from the children's pool at Sea Point.
7
Moments Among The Nobility
"D'you have a devil of a time keeping the wolf from the door?”
"No, I leave that kind of thing to my butler.”
* *
*
By Way Of Explanation
A small quantity of powder caus- ed a terrific explosion in a home. the other evening.
The husband returned home with it on his shoulder.
Last Word
“Married couples should also be of the same mind," says a clergy-
man.:
They usually are. Hers.
* * *
Making Sure
An Indian woman has given birth to six children at once. This result, however, is only tentative, as she is demanding à recount.
NOTHING NEW
A journalist says that a game bearing some resemblance to gólf was played in Greece hundreds of years ago. And now it is being played in South Africa.
Obituary
He flew through the air with the greatest of ease. But, sad to relate, he forgot his trapeze.
Comprehensive
An encyclopaedia will tell you everything that you ought to know. Or, you can get married and your wife will tell you all that
-and a lot more besides.
Very Careless
"Tourist Trips Over Mountain," runs a headline. He must have thought it was a molehill.
2.
"Yes, remarked the hopeless golfer, "this is my favourite
course. I did a hole in one here."
"In one day, sir?”
Now We Know
The new resident was visited by the local cricket captain, who asked if he would join the club.
"Well, I'm afraid I don't know enough about the game to play, my dear fellow, but I'm quite will- ing to umpire.” ·
*
+
Appropriate Names "Just Pups, by K. F. Barker (author of "Just Dogs").
Not So Simple
A doctor says it is harmful to smoke one cigarette on top of an- other.
→
And also balance.
very
difficult to
1
No Cure Frequent water-drinking, read, prevents you from becom- ing stiff in the joints. The trouble is most joints don't serve water.
Pelmanism
"Did we go to Rome Sadie?” an American woman asked her daughter, when they got back from their Italian travels.
"Sure we did, Momma; don't you remember? That was where we got those open-work black silk stockings!”
Cheated
Tourist (in Irish village): "I hear you're ninety-four next week."
Pat: "Oi am, sorr. An' if it hadn't a' been for this puttin' back o' the clock of'd be a hun- dred an' three aisy.”
Without Comment "Are you off to
again this spring?”
"Good gracious no, my dear, Nobody ever goes there now. It's far too crowded.”
Sherlock
"And when the barometer falls, what does that tell us? Come, Tommy, surely you know?”
The Christmas Party given by the Salvation Army to poor Chinese chil- dren. In the back row are Adjutant Dorothy Brazier and Adjutant Doris Lemmon ("Mail" photo)
Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret recer little Welsh dolls, the gift of the children of was made by Mr. Lloyd George. The dolls have ian Williams, and no detail of the traditional W looked. Photo shows-Miss Marian Williams, the dolls she has dressed for presentation to the
Gentle Persuasion Magistrate "You say the two men were fighting with chairs. Didn't you try to restore peace?” Native witness: "Nie, baas; there wasn't another chair.”
* *
*
One-Way Traffic
"That's
a nice collection of books you've got! But you ought to have them up on shelves."
"I know; but nobody seems to lend shelves."
Half-Minutes in Hollywood "Oh, no, dear. I think 1932 wedding was quite nicest I've ever had”
*
Upside Down
I read of a man who can sleep. standing on his head. He
"Nail's come out of the wall,bably doesn't want to be any Miss."
It's becoming quite a problem among some of our more promi- nent loafers these days to both week ends meet.
different from the rest of the world just now.
Definition
Drama
man who gives his best jeers to the theatre.
the recipients of
Tresentation Miss Mar-
een over- me, with
Car-Copyright).
Earth 2
look
you
Whenever Maggie, I think Bogers.
of Ginger
"Do you, Dai?” "Ay, But it's no use-a chap like me as to be content.””
"Ceiling Falls on Comedian” For once in his life he brought down the house.
Fashion N
"This style of hat makes the face look round,” says a millinery article
What a girl wants is a hat that makes the men look round.
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