CABBAGES AND KINGS
LITTLE girl who had been
attending Sunday School for the first time arrived home very thrilled.
"Oh, mummy," she exclaimed, "our teacher told us, a lovely fairy tale, all about a beautiful lady and gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. Adam and Eve, who lived happily in a lovely garden, until the ser- vant came along.”
In The Running
"He: "Will you marry me?" Hollywood Star: “Well, I'll put you on my wedding list.”
*
All Roads Lead
*
"Here, sonny, run and put this parcel on the bus för me."
"What bus ***
""
"Any bus. It's my husband's dinner, and he works in the Lost Property.
Only A Half Blue "Reggie was born with a silver spoon.in his mouth.”
"Yes, but it had the hotel's name on it."
*
+
Scylla Or Charybdis
“I don't want my daughter to
be tied to a hopeless idiot all her life," said the testy father.
»> **Of course not. sir," agreed the young man. "Then I have
your consent?”
Toujours La Politesse London bus drivers are justly renowned for their wit and sar- casm. A returned visitor reports that he saw one pull up most skillfully only a few feet from an absent-minded pedestrian who stopped suddenly, directly in his way. The driver leaned over and very politely inquired in an དང་ exaggerated Oxford accent: say, sir, may I ask what are your plans?
Unreasonable
A visitor to an asylum had a tram to catch; but his watch had stopped, and he was most anxious to find out the right time. So he hurried into the secretary's office. At that mo- ment, however, it was empty ex- cept for one of the inmates. The visitor looked at the wall clock
"Is that clock right?" he ask- ed.
"Don't be silly," countered the inmate in a tone of disgust. “If that clock was right. d'you think
it would be here?"
*
But Not For Long
Guest: "Your new maid is very tall, isn't she?”
Hostess: "Yes. But I don't ex- pect she'll stay long."
*
*
Let Off Easily Richard Tauber, it is said, can hold a note for two minutes.
He hasn't got an income-tax collector like mine.
Force Of Habit
Annoyed by the delay attri buted to armament manute
cure
a wholesaler cabled an over seas firm to cancel his order immediately. In due course the reply came: "Regret cannot can- cel immediately. You must take your turn.""
**
The Motorists' Friend "Ye'd be prarper 'mazed at t wheer folks who've asked Oi Bath-road be. Of've told the sands."
mas.
They're lucky 't is you, Tum-
Oi dunno wheer it be.”. "Ee, no more don't Oï. Of arften wonder wheer they ari finishes oop."
¥
Food For Thought... -
The difference between a very poor man and a millionaire is that the poor man very often worries about his next meal and the rich man worries about his last.
Bad For Trade
And then there was the man who, when asked if he believed in the survival of the fittest, said he didn't believe in the survival of anything. taker.
*
Monday Morning Cameo
"I passed by your house yest day."
Thanks awfully."
Laughter In Court
From a report in a contem
porary:
reserved
"Mr. Justice judgment until Saturday, saying that an important legal joint had been raised."
The "Arm of the Law," pre sumably?
A peer dreamt that he was ad- dressing the House of Lords, and when he woke up he found that he was.
“Way that?"
*
*
Yes, Why?
mummy singing like
"She's singing baby to sleep.”
"Will she stop when he goes
to sleep?".
“Yes.”
"Then why doesn't he pretend, he's asleep?"
Half Baked
Our cynic says that the ex- pression "college-bred," may be defined as a three-year loaf made with Dad's dough.
Suspicious Seaside Photographer: pleasant, please.”
"Look
Client: "I don't want to look pleasant. If I did my wife would want to know what kind of fun I had been having"
The Duke and Duchess of Windsor had a great reception when they visited the Paris Exhibition on October 1 Here they are during their tour of the exhibition. (Fox Copyright: By Air Mail).
IT TOOK ME
MONTHS.
BUT
I'VE FOUND
the Best
Best at Last
ANCHOR
BEER
$4.50
doz. Pints
$700
Quarts
BREWED & BOTTLED in
SINGAPORE by the
ARCHIPELAGO BREWERY CO., LTD.
Sole Agents
GILMAN & CO., LTD.
Gloucester Arcade
30986.
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