1937-08-20 — Page 11

Let's Begin with POODLE

(Continued from Page 1) tion, which is as foreign to my

ture as rolling on a duck's back. The system in our family has al- ways been for me to give Mary my cheque and for her to give me 10 dollars a week for subway fare and lunch and side trips to the old Spanish missions.

and couldn't have held on to them if I'd got them.

I applied for positions that 1 don't even know what the words mean: "Galalith," for instance. if that's how you pronounce it; "Furniture tracer, to locate furn- ture skips", and "Fanfold biller,” "Silk disponent,” and Beveler.”

new

At the end of the month she makes out a cheque for the next month's railroad ticket, but she makes it out to the Long Island Railroad Company That didn't matter anyway, because if my secret was to be a secret I had to go to town and come home on my regular train, job or no job; besides, I could think of many ato spoil my record. more economical way of spending the winter than to hang around the house all day long and wait for Mary to run out of hallelu- jabs.

Now try and stay awake long enough to listen to what happened to-day. I came in town as usual. The papers only had three want ads I could answer in per- son, and I wasn't qualified for any of the jobs they offered even if they gave me a trial. Just the same, I answered them so as not

A risk I couldn't afford to take was in regards to being called up at the office; I mean, after Feb- ruary 4th. Mary hardly ever 'phoned, but she might. I had to fix it with the switchboard gal to say I was out or in conference and couldn't be disturbed, and was there any message. The gal was as dumb as they come, but she would lie for me because I never squawked when she made a mistake, which was every day from eight-thirty to five, was a half-hour off for lunch, whe she probably got somebody else's or- der.

When Mary gave me my allow- ance the morning of the sixth I realised I'd better go light on lunch myself; it don't take more than two or three hours to ans- wer all the help-wanted ads, and in the middle of winter, with the kind of weather we've had, you get bored waiting for time to go home. You ain't in any frame of mind to read, except the ads, so the Public Library is no good. The waiting-room in the Long. Island station, or any other sta- tion, or the lobby of a hotel-any place that's indoors and free they all lose their kick after a few days.

It came down to a choice be- tween the talkies and the speak- ies, though there wasn't really a choice. Ten dollars don't last for ever in a place like this, and in my case the explanation when I got home, would have lasted the rest of my life. Well, I've seen every cheap talkie in town and most of them twice in one day.

When I got home at the end of the first week of "vacation" I had to explain why there was no cheque at all. As I've already said, I'm not an expert at decep tion; just the same, Mary believ- ed.my story.

I

It appears that Mr. Waldron had decided to pay me my salary monthly instead of weekly. would receive my next cheque the 1st of April, and so on.

I was afraid Mary would be about this. She was just opposite. I never saw her enjoy herself as much as she did that night, dividing different amounts by twelve and then mul- tiplying to see if they came out the same way.

This part of the performance was finished at ten and I spent the next two hours writing to people who wanted their ads ans- wered by mail. That's really the best way to go job-hunting. You don't have to listen to thirty or forty hard-luck stories from bozos that are as bad off as you are, or pretend you're pulling for them to land the same job that you hope to land for yourself. You don't have to act indifferent or force a smile when the master of ceremonies announces that "there's no need detaining you gentlemen; the vacancy has been filled.” "

And when you've written your letter and dropped it in the box the suspense is over. You know you'll never hear from it again and some lucky 15-dollar-a-week secretary will soon be tossing it in the waste basket.

as

It was a little past noon, hard- ly 12 hours ago, I got through with my day's "work" and noth- ing to do till train time, and I was headed for Felton's Restaur- ant where the Fifty-cent Blue Plate Lunch is just as bad other places, but it takes a lot longer to serve it, and, crossing Forty-second Street, I heard a couple of women say, "Oh, let's go to the Paramount! Paul White- man's there this week," only I guess they didn't both say it, but one was enough-I'm a sucker for Whiteman's music-and the other woman said, "If we go now we can hear him twice"; I certainly had no right to overlook a bar- gain.

•

A newsreel was showing a bunch of Greeks, all twins, fishing for sponges at Tarpon Springs, Florida, when the guy next to me nudged me in the elbow and said. "Well, Poodle, how do you like the big town?”

"Listen, Cuckoo," I said, "you've got me mired up with some other dog. You and I are strangers,” I said, "and it suits me fine to con- tinue the relationship."

So he said, "Your parents would hate to see the change in you,

*** The

said. "They never would have got the swell head inst because they live in New York.”

I said, "People don't get the swell head on account of living in New York. They get embar- unless they're cra Tike

So he said, "I'm not crazy, Poodle," he said, but I am under observation.

"Why not?" I said.

"You're

he had money in the bank and talking as loud as a Congressman

didn't mind advancing me 10

dollars every Monday morning till the new deal went into effect.

I wish I'd kept a list of the jobs. I tried to get and didn't get

andr

when you write home

"I'm not able to," I said. "I don't write home because there's nobody left to write to, and if I - did, I couldn't mention you be

cause I don't know your name.”

He dropped his voice to a shout. "Il tell you my name," he said, “though you know it as well as I do. I'm Phil Hughes. There!” he said. "How does that strike you ?**

"It's prettier than Poodle," I said, "but it's the first tîme I ever heard it"

So he said, "I haven't any idea why you want to keep up this sham. You're mother's son, couldn't be very bad, but if you're mixed up in a shady business of any kind, I won't squeal on you,” he said. "I won't even say I saw you if I ever go back to Ocôno- mowoc,”

I asked him if that was where we came from and he said, “Just as if you didn't know?” So I ask- ed him what was my name and he said, "Ben Collins, the same as your dad's, but everybody call- ed you Poodle because you look- ed like a poodle and still do.”

I thanked him and then I said, "Now listen once

once more: my real

got some reason for changing your identity: I don't like to pry into your affairs, though I'd like to know what you're doing and I hope it's honest for your mother's sake.”

-

So I said, “I'll tell you I'm making an honest effort to hear Whiteman's band, but the com- petition has got me licked.” So he said, "T'd like to know what you're doing for a living," and I said, "Tll tell you another piece of truth: I was making an hon est living, but I ain't making any living at all right now because I lost my job."

So he said, "If that's true, and you can prove it's true, I give you a job, but we'll have to leave here and go somewhere else to discuss it." And as the ushers reached the same decision at the same time, my pal, Phil Hughes, and his pal Poodle, marched out of the theatre to the strains of

name is none of your business Rhapsody in Blue."

But it ain't Ben Collins and no- body but you calls me Poodle or ever called me Poodle much as I may look like one, and besides that, the only Oconomowoc. I ever heard of is in Wisconsin- there couldn't be two of them--and I was never west of Parkesburg, Pennsylvania, in all my life."

So he said, "You better not talk so load, Poodle, or they'll put you out," he said. “You've

ૉ

I thought that when he saw me in broad daylight, he might realise his mistake and admit it. But no; I was still Poodle ст Seventh Avenue and still Poodle when we got out of the taxi at Graves's Hospital on Fifty-seven Street. He took me up to the seventh floor and introduced me to a nurse as Mr. Collins, a young man be used to know în „Ocano- méwoc.

(Continued on Page 8)

Equal to a

fine liqueur

"I can tell

White Horse

blindfold! And to think that at one

So he said, "I mean I'm under time I used simply to ask for whisky-and-soda!

observation at Graves Hospital,

on Fifty-sever

don't want you

he said mention that

White Horse is just like a fine liqueu

Sole Agents for S. China. JARDINE MATHESON