1937-08-13 — Page 8

G.B.S. OPENS FIRE...

SHOULD

IS

Shaw

os to tell me, Mr.

the scheduling you had means to

would rather be crowned as constitutional king or ac- claimed dictator?

knows

a moral census.

The vital statistics show a pro- longation of life. That looks as if on balance, we are living better

You cannot create a choice by as suming it. Imagining choices can Did you s tell you nothing about real ones.

Besides, these are not my jobs.

You are a rich man, Mr. Shaw you ever see the orgies of de- pravity we sometimes read about? Personally speaking, night clubs im- press me as being places of forced gaiety, frequented by silly, but not

Who would not rather be a Ber-depraved, people. nard Shaw or an H. G. Wells or any of our compeers than either a king or a dictator?

Please do not describe meas

~~rich man..

giving you a lot of priceless dom for nothing, but if you ask me for five shiftin instead I mữ show you the door.

i have never been in a night club because I know that your descrip tion of them must be correct.

Yes, the

is their poverty.

tion of the poor

But if you guarantee a sufficient income to all comers you must see that they earn it, and if they don't and won't you must save them the

My play, "Too True To Be Good,” trouble of destroying themselves. deals with this question of the mis-

Otherwise, there will soon bé no income to distribute. eries of the rich who have never found jobs for themselves.

Would it be a good plan to give

Also, you must organise their a all poor people money, say as much work for them. The modern work- as you own yourself, and let them er cannot carry a factory in his kit. either work out their social salva-

He can build a bridge across the tion or else destroy themselves if

Severn, but he can neither design it unfit?

nor find the materials.

It only causes bitter disappoint What would you do if you were ment to the unfortunate people who dictator with absolute power?. will immediately write to me asking

for money.

* I don't know. What would you do if you were God Almighty?

I am twenty times as rich as my father ever was; but compared to

You gave vent to your views on.

And if nobody will provide these conditions for him unless they can

must remain their slave.

What I should like to do is to en- our modern millionaires I am as this subject in the preface to "John make a profit out of his labour, he dow the study of biology for ten poor as a church mouse:

years or so, and then exterminate

the entire human race, including

the biologists, with the exception of

a few selected and assorted speci-THE- mens, to regenerate it.

As that forgotten prophetess. Mrs. Poyser, said: "What folks need is to be born again and born. dif- ferent”.

T

Bull's Other Island,”

WORLD GOES BY By “ULYSSES ·

en

HE girl tennis players from Lord Mumblewell thoroughly What do you think are the most

North Borneo, who arrived at joyed himself, and it was after all beneficent events to this country Waterloo recently, were entertained his show.

five to lunch by the Committee a slap

that have occurred during the reigns you have lived in?

My own existence, clearly.

*

Ambrosia

(Two)

up do at the guineas a head, with a reduction for

those who stayed to hear the Grab 'Em, Girls! speeches.). Lord Mumblewell pre-

sided and girls was his Lordship in

According to a bachelor judge, our form? You ought to have been splendid British gals don't know

as there to hear!

how to make love.

So do not imagine you can reform the world by flinging money about, even other people's money...

As poverty, you say, is the main cause of crime and prostitution, seek to abolish it by

would hav, a minimum wage, or

paying,

would you aim at producing a Com- munistic classless society, such *S Lenin aimed at in Russia?

Lenin's plan involves the distri- bution of a living income to every citizen. But it also involves compul- sion to earn it, and complete intoler- ance of voluntary idleness and par- asitism.

Do not forget that Communism is not peculiar to Russia

Do you think that equal pay for deventually men and women would

Have your early plays, such

If all Communism were abolished "Widowers' Houses" and "Mrs.

in England we should all be dead" Warren's Profession," influenced le- "The visit of these ladies from gislation to abolish the existence of North Borneo," said Lord Mumble So as one ideally experienced in in a week The people who talk so the artifices of falling in love, and much about Communism do not slum property and ameliorate the well I presume-ha, ha-I may equally experienced in the cunning know what they are talking about. conditions under which girls work; refer to them as ladies) is yet one;

subtlety of falling out of it without so that to the average young woman more chink in the lane sorry, I work offers a better reward than mean, of course, link in the chain expense, I am opening a "Grab and Snatch" Bureau for the special bene- prostitution?

that binds, as it were, the bonds of

fit of the sweet, innocent things.. our great Empire îner-bands of (Cheers.) The Except in Russia, no. Elsewhere invisible steel.

Don't be amateurish, girls. Write prostitution, for people with charm Coronation-great occasion

to me and I'll show you how to ob-cause all but what are termed love in unions to disappear, and that enough, pays better commercially was yes, I was there in a cardboardtain your heart's desire.

the process of time divorces would coronet; the genuine article is at

dwindle and fade out? Uncle's (laughter)the Coronation. I say, had hardly less significance

more—no, less-no, sorry mean no more significance than Do you think that low wages are has the visit of these dusky lovelies the main cause of dishonesty and from the far-flung confines of Borth prostitution amongst working girls? Norneo. (Cheers.) Look at them! Here they are, in their bead girdles

than virtue-

But the wise prostitute's price still includes a wedding ring.

110,

28 it

2

All you need do is to post me copy of your technique, plus twenty dollars for ak free demonstration. State whether blonde or brunette. If

to piebald, stay at home help

Of course they are. You do not and carrying their tennis bats hear any complaints of dishonesty proving, if proof were needed that and prostitution among the classes Kipling's aphorism about East not Winter Sports Dept. who can live comfortably without meeting West has no longer any them.

real meaning!

Women are still paid lower wages than men.

continued)

"The cuckoo has been heard the shores of Lake Geneva-”

on

News

It would put an end to prostitu- tion, in or out of wedlock.

But it would not prevent the com- mon mistake of marrying the wrong person, which occurs oftener in, love unions than in what may be called judicial

riages of convenience.

or mar-

Love is a very elast term: it covers sudden and impermanent sexual infatuations which are

for the moment irresistible, and divine

No two love affairs are the same:

"Their fathers and grandfathers" item (Lord Mumblewell

Without doubt a property one, like love, which is a very rare experience. "were, I understand, notorious head-

(Hear, hear.) These that chamois the Swiss-keep, But they need as much food and hunters.. shelter and more expensive clothes. little ladies will, venture to which Tartarin of Tarascon denoun- the people who think they are have predict, prove not less successful as ced as a fake, and like their famous never been in love and should never How are they expected to make heart-hunters! May they return to pink Alpengluh, which is turned on be allowed to up the difference? Evidently by some Borneo with all sorts of silver pots and aff from Berne power-station complicated business of regulating

resource not open to me.

When wages fall below

tence point they make

and prostitution compulsory.

and cups and not only with pops by a switch, as

and cuts but with thể happiest

sis-memories of their visit to this heart

Do you think that, compared with

the "eighteen nineties," there

of the Empire plause.)

(Prolonged

The girls, who cannot speak ishish, were a little bewildered by more vice among the denizens of foration. Indeed it was ra the West End and Mayfair, and has occasion for them, as their the working

or had forbidden"

knows

sexual relations

One would have ima

that Divorce,

Since

would

the very

30 much does not touch

mpulsory az with parent- my potential enically de

before