1937-02-16 — Page 3

THE CHINA MAIL, FEBRUARY 16, 1937.

THE

WORLD

GOES BY

FOU may remember, gentle rea-

HAPSBURG RESTORATION HOPES FADE

Fruitless Visit To London

(SPECIAL TO “CHINA MAIL”)

London, To-day.

Yders, that in this columu yes-

It is fairly apparent, says the terday I described an average day London press, that the Austrian in the life of a newspaperman. It monarchist movement has suffered was written in reply to 2 letter a severe setback as a result of Chan- from a damsel named Diana. Now cellor Schuschnigg's speech. she has written me again. Here it

is.

Dear Ulysses,

The papers also draw attention to the visit to London of Herr Wiesner, representative of the Archduke Otto, the claimant to the

Really you must have been pull-Austrian throne. ing my leg yesterday when you Herr Wiesner, says the "News wrote about beautiful secretaries Chronicle,” has asked the British and bottles of Scotch in the office. Government whether King George How could you be so horrid? I did would give an audience to the Arch- so want to know what your work duke Otto and whether the British was like and all you do is to mock Government would be favourably me. I think you are a nasty mall

a visit by the disposed towards -Diana.

Archduke to Austria.

* + *

A

QUEENS

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

The paper states that a negative | TO-MORROW You are not the first to call me reply was given to Herr Wiesner in

A PARAMOUNT a nasty man, Diana. But I just both cases.

COMEDY

felt like behaving that way and one From this it seems clear, the mustn't repress one's natural feel-journal continues, that Great Bri- ings, must one? Otherwise one be-tain will not lend support to any comes full of inhibitions and has attempt at a Hapsburg restoration. to see a psycho-analyist or some- thing, and they are so expensive, aren't they, Diana?

I'm sorry if you took it so serious- ly. Let me describe a day in a newspaper office more truthfully.

* * *

First, of course, one must have a hero. Shall we call him Horace? Yes, I think so.

4

-Trans-Ocean.

SIR OSWALD ON COLONIES

Pleads Germany's Cause

(SPECIAL TO “CHINA MAIL”) London, To-day.

Horace, let us say, is supposed to report at the office all present and correct at the witching hour of i am Horace, therefore, natur ally appears at 7.45 am. He looks in the letter box, finds there a cou- A strong plea for return to Ger- ple of bills and a letter from his many of the colonies taken from Old Boys' Society. He next turns her by the Treaty of Versailles was to the bulletin board and reads made yesterday by Sir Oswald last year's notices ("No member Mosley, leader of the British Fas- of the staff must mutilate the files, cists, in a speech at Leeds. etc). Then he hangs his coat "Provided that Germany is will- over the back of a chair, first having to give guarantees of a practi- ing taken it off, of course. Next cal nature, her former colonies he takes an aspirin, having been should be returned to her as an act out the night before, and looks for of justice and a contribution to copy paper and pencils, rare speci- peace;" he declared. mens ever in a news office. He Sir Oswald also spoke on the then realises the editor has already Spanish civil war. Britain, he said, arrived (strange, this) and at him should keep strictly neutral in the he looks in an expectant and defiant conflict-Trans-Ocean. manner. The editor has not been entirely unaware of his presence but says nothing. He is storing it up for some later hour, and con- tents himself with picking out the lousiest of the day's telegrams and tossing them contemptuously Horace, who is then ready to start for the day with muttered curses, headshaking and rolling of the eyeballs.

Horace then gets down to its But this is by no means the worst portion of his labours. That is

CHINESE HONOURS

Olympic Decorations Conferred

Berlin, To-day." Olympic decorations have been conferred on several Chinese offi- cials, according to an announce ment to-day.

The officials are Mr. Wang Shi- yet to come, when he has to sub chieh and Lieut. Gen. Chang Chi- copy submitted by members of the chiang, both of whom have been reporting staff. In its original state awarded the first-class Olympic de- this copy is horrible to look upon coration and induces in Horace

The second class of the order has acute feeling that he is rapidly been awarded to Dr. Chu Min-i and going insane, during which he tears Dr. Chu Chia-hua Trans-Ocean. his hair and humbles to himself.

And all because Horace is expected fall good newspaper writers sprinkle to spell and to be familiar with their copy. simple, rules of grammar, which ap-

one

parently eliminates the necessity Which is all I am going to pro- for such knowledge among these doce to-day. For

thing I who write for the paper. Horace am tired. For another I think also has to look for libel and obthis is all drivel, but I suppose I vious embellishments which have shall have to continue it to-morrow. been thrown in casually to hyen

to refiere Diana's able thirst story up a little. He also ha watch for the mixed metaphor

lurks amid the mass Of tarned in every day and with

HALFWAY ROUNI

THE WORLD

RACES NECK AND

NECE WITH DEATH!

CHARLIE CHAND RAFFTRA

OLAND

WARNER

aid on the character (" Choke Char" CHANG

Earl Derr Spee

CHARLES RUGGLES. MARY BOLAND

*IN “WIVES NEVER KNOW”

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