1932-12-24 — Page 6

6

EVENING :-

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The China Mail

HERE. THERE

and

EVERYWHERE.

'Mr. Hoover'a Future,

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1932.

XMAS EXPERIENCES

ARTISTS

AMUSING

ADVENTURES ·

GIRL WHO WAS LOCKED

IN A THEATRE

"Funny Christmas experien-pular comedian, considers' ces?" said Mr. George Graves, Christmas he spent in Yorkshire the well-known comedian, to the some years ago the funniest in writer. "Well, I've had a good his experience, and for this many, and it's not easy to pick reason

and choose among them. But "I had finished a particularly well, yes, I think this was about trying week at a small theatre, One is interested to seo whether the funiest of them all. At he writes, "and had tramped there is the same feverish competi-least, it amused me most at the back to my lodgings very weary Ition between lending magazine time-and since.

and down in the mouth. However, editors in America to secure the

"One night in Christmas week I awoke the following morning service of Mr. Hoover as a contribu-I was playing a female part in a (Christmas Day) with a deter- tor as followed the retirement of Liverpool patomime, and was mination to banish dull care and President Coolidge.

enjoying a few moments' rest at have a really jolly Yorkshire Mr. Coolidge, of course, left the the back of the stage when I Christmas. In this buoyant White House when American pros-was approached by a woman an-spirit I rang for my breakfast, perity had not yet begun to declinexious to sell certain ladies' gar- and when my landlady appeared That fact, and the almost oracularments. No, thank you, I an with a tray, she looked, I was wisdom with which his extremeswered politely, with my sweet-sorry to see, rather dismal. I caution and famous reticence as est smile, as I proceeded to strike greeted her with a cheery: 'Mer- President had invested him, gave a match and light a cigar. The ry Christmas! "Thank you, sir! his magazine utterances a selling woman gazed at rue with open Same to you!' she answered in a value of which Mr. Coolidge was mouth,

exclaimed: funereal voice. "Well, I never! It fair turns me 'Now, Mrs. I said, with a The contract ultimately signed by over, miss, to see you puffing a beaming, goodwill-to-all-men face, the retiring President earned him, cigar!" A moment later her I want to forget all my worries it is understood, a higher rate per confusion was complete, when a which I know you'll provide. word than ever Mr. Lloyd George friend came up with the words: in a good Christmas dinner, was paid on his entry into the field I say, George; coming to the club Roast beef, Christmas pudding, of journalism.

after the show?" Flinging up mince pies, and all that kind of her arms, she uttered a cry of thing, you know, eh?" dismay and fled."

"Mrs-looked sorrowfully at me, wiped an invisible tear from

grimly aware.

Your Daily Smile.

WILLINGLY.

Mrs. La Dedah went into hor kitchen to find the maid sitting on the butler's lap.

and then

""The First Tree."

No less amusing was an ex- her right eye, and faltered: perience of Miss Lil Hawthorne "Well, Mr. Wright, I'd be much when she was playing Jack, the obliged if you could get your din- fore proposed a Five Year Plan

Giant-killer, one Christmas ner out to-day. You see, my on the example of Soviet Russia. "Is this what I pay you for?" she week. "As Jack of the stout poor husband, he died at Christ- The famous Irish stock-raising stormed.

arm,'

n," she says, "I had to force mas, and I always like to spend industries are to be drastically "No, madam." repiled the maid,

my way through a forest with the day in the cemetery!' Hong Kong, Saturday, Dec. 24, 1932. reduced to provide for local re-"I do it for nothing."

sturdy blows from my cudgel at "Of course, I dined out!" quirements and no more; and the

the obstructive trees. One even-

Fell Into The Pit. energies hitherto spent in

Mr. Harry Randall, although The Tragedy In Ireland. "working for the English mar-

HER SUITOR: Don't you trusting a super accosted me timidly

and begged to be allowed to he has had many amusing ex- ket" (however profitable) are me, sir?

"Who are you?" Iperiences of his own, gives the now to be devoted, by compulsion,

HER FATHER: Yes, I de, but speak to me. It is entirely in accord with to such new and exotic industries will the landlord, the butcher, and asked...Well, miss," was the an- palm to the following story, in swer, I'm the first tree to-night, which he played only the role of the times in the Irish Free State as the welfare of a Socialist Free the gracer do the same?

and Tope you won't 'it quite so looker-on. One night," he says, that President de Valera shouldĮState, or rather the crude whims

ard. The other man resigned "while I was playing in a panto- because, 'e says, you 'alf killed 'im mime, a man in the gallery, who

- * ** MORE IMPORTANT:

.*

+

#

appoint an Anglophobic grocer of its dictator; shall demand. Taking No Chances.

A burglar admitted at the Old

innkeeper to the vacant position Any farmer who objects will be

of Governor-General. In oblig-dispossessed of his land in pun. Batley that in addition to stealing last night. So they've put me in was rather deaf, leaned so far ing conformity with the perfunc-ishment. It is admitted that the money he took a quantity of valu.is place--and I can't resign be- forward in his anxiety to hear tory manner of the whole thing. general standard of living, will able jewellery. Apparently he was cause I've got a wife and family, that he fell headlong into the pit the King, having signed the be depreciated, but "real national always taught that money alone does Needless to say," adds Miss Haw- and was carried to the hospital. commission at Buckingham independence" is held out as a not bring happiness. 悟

Palace, sent it to the Free State consolation. The description" ofį Government by post; and now the decline of business in Ireland Mr. Donal Buckley spared is startling. Literally, says

*

HOW RUDE OF HIM! "Did you hear Robinson snoring

"Yes,

himself the trouble of going to “Hibernicus," there is hardly in church this morning? It was London to meet his Majesty, any money available for business simply awful."

I did he woke me up."

GOOD VISIBILITY DOCTOR: Where shall I vacci

*

Facts You Did Not Know

thorne, "like the woodman, II quite thought he must be dead; 'spared the tree' for the sake of but, as a matter of fact, he was his wife and family; and his grat-only bruised and a little shaken. And the very next day he pre itude was quite pathetic."

Miss Eilaline Terriss tells the sented himself at the pay-box and following story of her funiest asked to be passed in free on the Christmas experience though, as ground that he had paid on the she says, the "fun" was not very previous night and hadn't seen.

the show Papag obvious at the time.

Yet by all accounts of the senti-transactions. There is no mar- ments towards Britain and the ket for the staple southern Irish Empire nourished in the breasts industry. The "Irish Times" de-

"It was during the run of 'His To Miss Marie Blanche the of Mr. Buckley and his friend clares that unemployment isnate you?

Excellency" at the Lyric Theatre. mistletoe has associations not al- Mr. de Valera such a formality widespread, docks are idle, shop MODERN GIRL: Oh, anywhere; By mistake I was shut in at the together agreeable. "I shall would have been intolerable. The keepers and farmers alike are it's bound to show!

theatre, and found myself wan never forget one Boxing night,” new Governor-General' will nei-dismissing hands, and tariffs

dering alone down on to the stage she says. "I was rosting during ther use the vice-regal lodge nor have increased the cost of living.

with only the Cinderella cat for the interval of a pantomime accept more than a portion of the Farmers have this year paid har-

company, and a huge statue of when our leading comedian In- salary, and will have a policeman vest labour in kind. This has

Rutland Barrington.

troduced me to a man who, had to keep him company, wherever led temporarily to a considerable

Got Of Lightly.

the audacity to ask me for a kiss he may live, instead of an aide-enrichment of the worker's home

A British railway is experiment-

"Mr. Seymour Hicks, my hus-and produced a sprig of mistletoe de-camp. The "Irish Times," a table. Farmers are shaking their ing with a new high speed mono- band, came to fetch me, and for to sanction it. When I refused moderate organ, declares (rather heads, but are still restrained rail system, cars suspended from an hour he, with the aid of a po- indignantly and asked him to unnecessarily, it would seem) from protest by belief in de track being driven by aerial pro-liceman, tried to get me out, but leave me, he was very much out, that de Valera's whole object is Valera's promises that he will pellers.

in vain. A crowd collected, but, and actually told me he did not to make the vice-royalty ridicul-guarantee them markets and ous. Doubtless there was some high prices for all they produce. Its power supplied to each wheel also the one person wanted the think I would refuse the request hope in that Cuban-Irish breast The means of performance is not independently, a Michigan inven-fireman-could not be found to or a visitor with supernatural

release me At last Mr. Hicks powers! that the King might refuse to disclosed; Even the most gulli- tor's automobile can be moved at climbed on to a great glass por-While he was thus eulogising sign the commission appointing ble are beginning to ask how the any angle 65 degrees from a fortico and managed to get me out. his remarkable abilities concern- an avowed rebel to represent the Free State can possibly grow her ward course,

He was naturally very indignant ing handcuff tricks and magic the Crown in Southern Ireland. But own wheat or bread (the Gov-

de Valera should know by now ernment order) when all experi- The government of Lithuania has with the fireman for shutting me comedian re-entered and, over- that the British Government is ence has taught them that the approved plans for the construction up, but in consideration of the hearing and obtaining my ex- quite patiently disposed to let only value of Irish-wheat is for of that country's first sugar mill Christmas season he got off very planation, said:

A Sporting Offer. him ruin the Free State in his chicken-feed. The industrial pro- with a capacity of 600 tons of bects lightly

Among Yuletide memories I've a great idea, Miss Dame Ellen Terry recalled most Blanche. As It's Christmas

own chosen way. There is an air posal is hampered, too, by the dally. buffoonery about the whole pre-poverty of local coal supplies,

sent Administration in Dublin, There is only the Kilkenny low- Capable of lifting entire wings Vividly one Christmas Day spent time, and our friend here has but that there is being played grade coal or peat, and Guinness's and engines as large as 575 horse at Pittsburg, which her com- mistletoe and handcuffs, why not out & real tragedy as well is made brewery and the great biscuit power, a portable hydraulle holet panion, Henry Irving, described make a sporting offer? Promise clear by a description of "The factories of Dublin must have has been placed in service hoist as "Hell with the lid off." Irving him a kiss if he lets us into the Free State Revisited" by "Hiber- real coal or shut down. The gas Chicago airplane base. Vs

nicus" in the Contemporary companies also are at their wits Review for November, This end. The railway companies have |Irishman, declares that President warned the Government that un

News in Brief.

had arranged a dinner-party at secret of his handcuff trick?

his hotel, to which he invited (Continued on Page 7.) Mark Twain and the leading members of his company,

And oh said Ellen Terry, de Valera has so far survived in less they can get British coal Through recent ill health, Mies what a funny dinner, it was! We office on his reiterated promises they will be unable to keep the Olive M. Russell, (Sister, Matilda waited an hour before the soup to the Free State people that "the lines working. The Shannon Hospital, 1921-1982) will not be re-made its appearance burnt hare golden age is approaching when electric power scheme has not turning to Hong Kong.

the Free State will be self-been the success that was pro

(2

RAMADAN FAST.

After the usual Friday prayers soup," the smell of which was al- held at the Mosque in Shelley Street [most enough to knock me down! to-day, the Mulví announced to the

supporting and free from Eng-mised, and Dublin, for instance Two cases of small-pox, four Luckily, Irving had brought his Congregation, that should the new fish domination." De Valera, che sfill relies for power upon its own diphtherin, three of

of typhoid says welcomes the British tariff power station, using imported imported) and one of scarlet fever against Irish goods imposed in coal. But apparently all these were notified to the Health Authoric order to provide reimbursement considerations are subordinated ties on Thursday, of the cost of paying to de Valera's "monomaniacal the repudiated land van-hatred of England." The Prest The completed Tung. Wah Eastern nuities. He does so be dent's support in the country is Hospital at Bookunpoo cause his policy is to cut off for upheld really by the Irish Re formally opened by His ellency eign trade altogether, realising publican Army," 20,000 strong, the Governmen Thurs that England is the only possible supplying a secret police, armed cember markot for Irish agricultural and finariced secretly from Rus exports, and that if that trade sia, and devoted to establishing a were continued the Free State Communistic State on would have to take. English im-lines. But, it is ins

This trade is mass of the peop

remaining sign prove, and dup

ports

declar of the England

Valer

and to time being. Ire there I will devoutly hope

desian

Da

wine with him, and with cham-moon be visible on the night of pagne and stories we had quite a Wednesday next, the 28th instant, merty time in spite of the awful Ramadan fasting and Traveo, pray- courses, until my English « pud- ors will commence on that night, and ding arrived, the plece de resis in the event of the new moon not tance of our feast. Very being visible on that night, "fasting

angel said Sir Henry, as he in any case will commence ampled the delicacy. Very Thursday night the 29th instant strange! But I think this must. It has been arranged for the con be camphor pudding]. And so it verience of those Muslims living in was. This was, the last straw! the Eastern district for Traves My housekeeper had packed rayers to be led by Mulvi Mahomed pudding in a trunk with some Noo fursand enough c

favour a

Har

Mr. Huntlay

zan for prayers

each night and will commence

pos sharp during the fastir