1932-02-08 — Page 7

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1932.

THAT DEADLY DAILY DOZEN

AN AWFUL WARNING.

Humorist on Over-Indulgence in Health - Culture.

THE

“DISARM, THEN TALK OF DEBT REDUCTION.”

America Willing to Help

But

PEACE TREATY "WAR."

CHINA MAIL.

FIRE TRAGEDY IN ISLAND HOME CROFTER'S FAMILY ALMOST WIPED OUT.

A terrible fire tragedy occurred in a crofter's house en the Hebri- dean island of Baleshare.

The victims were Rederick Ro- bertson, his wile, and their two daughters, aged 12 and 16.

The sole survivor of the family a son, who БУДА on a visit to Mr. Salomon Levinson, the great friends in another part of the Island American lawyer whom M. Briand at the time.

no anewer, awakened other neigh- bours. They could find no trace of the accupants of the house..

The whole building was like: furnace, and it was evident that the occupants had bean trapped.

Intimation was sent by telegram to the police at Lochmaddy. When Inspector MacDonald and Cons- Mr. K. R. G. Browne, the well- morning refused to accept known humorist, writes as follows any payment, saying that

table Allan, of the Inverness police, the once referred to as the "real father The house was owned by Robert arrived, the house was still burn- in the Evening News:

pleasure was entirely his; but my of the Kellogg Pact," was in Lon-son, and sleeping in' the two-storey ing.. The other day, as I was glancing subsequent week in bed, with my don on holiday last month. He building were the owner, his wife through the morning paper with a typing arm badly buckled and four gave his views to an Evening News (both of whom were about 60 years his wife, and the two daughters The charred bodies of Robertson, keen professional eye, culling here toes in splints, was both expensive correspondent as to what can be of age), and their daughters. a useful joke and there a telling and depressing. Perhaps if I had done by the nations to remove the

were found on the ground-floor. Between 6 and 7 a.m. Mr. Lachlan phrase with my special onyx-hand-realised at the time that the war mess" from among the pro- MacDonald, a neighbouring crofter, gutted, nothing being left but The house, which was completely led culling-scissors, I came upon diagrams were upside down-but blems which beset the world. two news-items that interested me that is all over now.

was awakened by noises which he ashore, was one of the, beat and "First of all we had the Dawes took to be explosions. He noticed most modern type of crofters' 'strangely. One concerned a French My heart goes out, therefore, to plan, which was, perhaps, the only that there was a glare in his bed- houses in the parish. gentleman who is trying to discard the French gentleman aforemen-kind of arrangement which could room and he got up and saw that a wife because (he says) her pas- tioned, whose wife has suddenly have been generally accepted at Robertson's house was in flames. known.

The Cause of the fire is un- sion for callisthenica is ruining his gone all hygienic. A woman who the time," he said. home-life. The other informed me

He tried to get in at the front Balcshare, an reclines on the floor, riding an Im-! "Then there was the Young Plan door, but it was impossible for any-long, on the south-west coast of island 31⁄2 miles. that a suburban debating society re- aginery bicycle the wrong way up, compromise, which some knew one to enter. cently came to the conclusion "that when she ought to be scrambling could not work.

He shouted, think- North Ulst, Outer Hebrides, In- the cult of hygiene is endangering

ing the occupants had left the verness-shire, has a population of "But we might not have seen that house and were outside, but getting only 184. the happiness of the world."

the breakfast egg is no fit mate for

a working man. And he would be it would not work but for the ter

an exceptional husband who felt rifle world depression coming with FORTUNES PAID TO that his wife's ability to touch the such precipitancy. back of her head with the sole of her

"Then President Hoover's mora-

foot atoned for holes in his socks. torium was manifestly a temporary

A Recent Invention.

DANCE BANDS.

gang-plank on which to walk from Earnings of London's

"Big Three."

Pretty significent, eh? The im- plication, obviously, is that the health-ends, the exercise-fanatics, and the deep-breathing manines have at laat austayed their welcome, and that the next generation will be allowed to grow up, and

The odd thing is that health- the ship. even culture, as we know it, is quite a

"Now the French have been so sideways, as and how it pleases. recent invention. Boadicea never resistant to any programme that Well, thank goodness for that. heard of it; Edward the Confessor, would finally liquidate the war, as Mind you,

I am all in favour of Wat Tyler, Michael Angelo, and the we see it in our country, that pro- dance band in England? Three in Which is the most highly paid health myself.

abhors Last of the Mohicans got along sur- bably the best that could be work-particular would be in competition Nobody indigestion more than I do, and I prisingly well without it. So fared out by M. Laval during his visit for this proud position: Jack Hyl- yield to no man in my dislike of as I know, Sir Walter Raleigh never to Washington was mutual recog-ton's, Ambrose's, and Jack Payne's rheumatoid arthritis. fully suspected that he was breathing nition of the necessity for further B.B.C. Dance Band. It is proable realise, too, that a modicum of like a clumsy novice and letting his leniency. physical exercise is essential to all. abdominal wall get all out of shape. "Senator Borah, Chairman of the claim the title.

that Jack Payne and his band can A bi-weekly walk round the houses, Nobody ever reproved Oliver Foreign Relations Committee, who a daily saunter to the "Gout and ("Warty"), Cromwell for scumping opposed the temporising theories dance band can be enormous. Be-

The rewards for a Compasses," fan occasional brisk his daily dozen or suggested that which arose out of M. Laval's visit, yond the ordinary returns for gallop after an omnibus-to that the younger Pitt would be the bet would favour, and has favoured, a dances there extent I am quite prepared to suffer

are also music-hall In the cause of bodily fitness.

Nevertheless, I maintain that this craze for health-at-any-price is getting beyond a joke.

Callisthenics.

The modern theory нестя to be that Man is a hopelessly jerry-built object, so inefficiently designed and fashioned of such shoddy material that he is liable to fall apart if he is not watched and tended with a

the

tax nexer

"Not Helpful.”

Well known

successful

mains obviously date back to the days of British participation in Bourbon affairs during Napo- leonic times and the button be- longed to the London-made tunic of an Inniskilling dragoon. This castle evidently harboured persons barbarous enough to make use of the old medieval

What the dragoon had done and device which perhaps they found within the castle whether he was punished so ter- itself.

ribly for private or public reason will never be known.

Banks

Chartered

Bank of India, Aus-

tralls and

Kong

.$ 22,715,925 $ 8,300,000*

bai Bank-

Shang-

Cor

129,804,349 112,000,080†

BANK NOTES IN CIRCULATION AND SPECIE IN RESERVE. ter for a little regular exercise, complete cancellation of both debts and other engagements, broadcast-

The returns of the average Even Dr. Johnson could not touch and reparations. his toe without sugging at

ing fees, and, perhaps most valu- amount of bank notes. in circula- knees.

able of all, the return from the lion and of specie in reserve in "President Hoover would not go "mechanical rights" of gramophone Hong Kong, during the month Yet most of these stalwarts lived so far and neither would I. Can records.

ended January 31, 1932, as certified) to a ripe old age. The Early Vic-cellation is not a helpful word or to open another bottle, were just A debtor may not be able to pay combination of sixteen players is torians, whose iden of exercise was method of dealing with creditors band is everywhere, Jack Payne's Banks Is as follows:-

as Jack Hylton's by the Managers of the respective

as good men as we are, Gunga Din. debts in full, but it is almost un- continually provided with the best

Average Specie Greatgrandfather

Amount In Reserve never saw aheard of to ask for debts to be publicity in the world through vitamin in his life, and probably cancelled altogether. I have re-being connected with the B.B.C. imagined that alòrics were small, presented scores of debtors in the, care that would seem excessive in for-bearing mammals of the wombat last 25 years, but never once have vantage, but one which has, curl-Kong

This in itself is an enormous ad- the case of a consumptive kitten.species; but his income

I asked to cancel. Now adaya it is not enough merely amounted to five shillings in the "The United States, in 19 months and his band a most valuable con- ously enough, just lost Jack Payne 10 be alive; one must exist pound, and if he wanted to buy ajof participation in the war, spent tract. in the proper way. Plain, sausage after 8 p.m., he bought it. about 14 billion pounds and re- in-an-out breathing is

It may be, as some allege, that our ceived nothing at the Peace Table. with an American "sponsored pro-

They were offered a broadcast Mercan nearly good enough; one must lives are longer than our ancestors'; This fact is not fully understood gramme" by a famous. American breathe according to the diagrams, but I cannot quite see what And so on.

we even in our own country. guin thereby.

cigarette company to go on the "The entry of the United States aft" in America once Nowadays it is not enough merely

In fact, this business of keeping over-indulgence in health-culture is cept any of the spoils is something the B.B.C. caused Jack Payne to re-

To my mind, the worst result of into the war and its refusal to ac-six months.

a week for His connection with plicated that many people give it the distressing heartiness it induces unprecedented in history. Yet we fuse this contract.. Jack Hylton fit has become so arduous and com- in the addict. In the presence of a have been badgered and insulted has accepted it, and it is stated up in despair and expire shame- health-fiend of the deep-breathing, and called deserters because we that fully at the age of ninety-five or thereabouts; while those who obey

cold-bathing, hat-hating type that have not been content to forgive about £1,000 a week,

the fee he will receive is all the instructions on the chart fully exposes its knees to the public

wears open-necked shirts and wil-all debts.

"Of course, the straightening out. But this enormous fee is not so

Jack Payne's Fee. have so little time to do anything gaze on. Saturday afternoons, the of Europe's difficulties, to America, high as that which Jack Payne and else that they are apt to end their ordinary man days on the dole.

tongue-tied | means appeasement between his band received in Manchester and apprehensive, expecting at any France Consider the question of early-moment to be alapped on the back. Britain would, I believe, agree to performances, apart from anything and Germany. Great for their broadcasting and variety morning exercises or "callisthe- On high days and holidays the Eng- any programme of liquidation ac- they may have received from their nies." as they are termed by such fish countryside is simply alive ceptable to France and the United royalties on gramophone records. as have had a classical education. with There is a school of thought which enists, all atriding busily along at

these sketchily clad hygi-States. holds that no mon

will Hve to see

not

his fiftieth birthday who does not

and

stands

"But there must not be any more

This sum was £1,500 for the week. By their existing contract, with

they are doing their red corpuscles work and lead only from one crisis band receive a yearly retaining fee a steady 6 m.ph. in the belief that piecemeal settlement that don't the B.B.C., Jack Payne and his a bit of good.

They may be quite right, of workable peace treaty are 95 per tion in all extra money and royal to another. The war and its un-of about £15,000, and a participa- course, for all I know. There is no cent of the cause of the present ties which may accrue. accounting for tastes, and possibly world conditions.

Therefore, the

parties.

tile Bank of India, Ltd.

3,332,900 1,850,0008

Total $155.743,264 $121,650,000 In addition Sterling Securities are deposited with the Crown Agenta valued at £1,288,700. + In addition Securities deposit. ed with the Crown Agents and Straits Government valued at £3,078,000.

In addition Securities deposited with the Crown Agents valued at £190,000.

securities lodged with the Crown The following statement of the Agents by the Mercantile Bank of India Limited, against their notes:

of the Mercantile Bank Note Issue general information under Section 5 In circulation, a published fór

of 1311): Ordinance, 1911, (Ordinance No. 85

Security

$% Treasury

Bonds pay.. æble @ 100

Amount

Latest

market price

97-08

in 1938/5 ..$190,000

PARTED WITH SECRET.

leap from his bed at the first flush of dawn and tie himself in a series of elaboruto knots, the while breath- ing deeply in through his left nostril

out through his right ear. a red corpuscle likes that kind of general scheme must reduce these participate in equal amounts with This remarkable behaviour is sup- thing.

It is estimated that the B.B.C. posed to keep the limbs supple, the vite any man for wearing his legs lowest point.

Far be it from me to re- obstacles and burdens to their the band in these returns. This is liver docile, the mind vigorous, the to stumps and breathing harshly facade concave, and the moustache

"I would not include tariffe in highly advantageous

a contract which

appears to be bushy. It is also good for freckles, hitherto I have always asked in because that would lead to contro- through his nose; all I ask-and the general scheme of liquidation

to both I belleve,

vert me to his point of view, vain-is that he does not try to con- veray and complication and would that it is the highest-paid dance The claim of Jack Payne's band protract the solution of the general band in England rents on the in- If I just choose between living settlement. callisthenically and degenerating "Any general re-arrangement All sixteen of them are potential had raided an hotel at Campbell- a painful and costly experience. into an Awful Warning, stand back would necessarily entall a breath-

dividual earnings of each member. True, the professional anflor who and let me degenerate! As a matter ang spell in debts and reparations, of the players, what of the conduc- men who were alleged to be bate Was hurriedly called

payers of super-tax.. If this is true town (Austraila), and arrested two unravel

of fact, I think I have done it al-and, during that spell, there could tor and organiser himself? ад the first ready.

It is ting, half a dozen men were in the be international consideration, by reported that the annual reward is bar of another hotel discussing the conferences, of the tariff question over £10,000 a year, and in some

raid.dk by all nations interested.

Well, I tried it once, for a small wager. I am almost all right again now, thanks very much, but it was

me

in to

WINE CELLAR LEFT TO TEETOTALLER.

A 50-Year-Old Legend "Scotched."

A 50-year-old legend about, some priceless bottles of wine has been finally "scotched by Dr. J. D. Rolleston, of Fulham Hospital.

When Sir Walter Trevelyan, the celebrated naturalist and antiquarian, died in 1879, he left the contents of his wine cellar to

cases near £20,000. ̈

MEDIEVAL TORTURE.

Gruesome Relic Found In Sicily.

alcohol problem. He was also a very strict teetotaller.

A Greater Question. Such a legacy as this was na-should be known, that there is not "If it is not known, I think it turally most embarrassing, and a ghost of a chance of any pro though many of Sir Benjamin's gramme of substantially reducing friends offered to help in dispos the debts owing to America unless ing of the bottles he was popu Europe drastically cute down its larly supposed to have had thermaments. With any such reduc- whole lot poured down the sink! tion of armaments América would roughly to the shape of the hu

Still There. "This story was widely circu- have to keep step.

A medieval iron cage fashioned man form, in which the prisoner

lated, Dr. Rolleston told a re- This question of disarmament was tightly compressed in porter, "for Richardson was well is the greater question." known as a most rigid total ab- stainer.

"In actual fact, however, it is early this year, the quite untrue. The wine is still Richardson family. safe in the bottles, for, because large consignment

standing position and then sus pended from battlements until wine the exhaustion was recent wines were he died of pain,

Last July a in the

sent to

Sir Benjamin Ward Richardson he did not know what to do with Professor W. E. Dixon at the

to be devoted to scientific purit he decided to do nothing at Pharmacological Cab

poses,

Now, Sir Benjamin was an eminent physician and had made

scientific investigation of the

all Most of the wine seems to Cambridge, the intention being

be of a good Burgundy type, and that it should be devoted probably dates from about 1820, scientific purposes for which

Sir Benjamin died in 1896, but

ally bequeathed.

A "Cork Leg" Boast.. Half an hour after the police

"They will never catch me bet ting,, anyhow, said one man,

"Why have you a special system?" asked one of the two men at the bar

I've got the sweetest system in the world. The cops will never get me. Now that they have left I'll show you" said the boastful

one.

He rolled up his trousers over one leg. It was a cork leg. In the calf was a small cavity the owner took a tiny bisc

betting

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