1930-12-17 — Page 11

CHINA MAIL CHRISTMAS SUPPLEMENT, 1930.

11

THE EARL OF SANTA CLAUS

The Story of a Band Man's Good Deed,

By L. G. REDMOND HOWARD,

and thegent's name was no other than "The Earl "CHRISTMAS here in a job, said "Bill of Shotover.""

It was only when Bill mentioned a Sykes," the burglar, putting down the "Police Gazette" and spiking a kipper with benevolent fee for his future services that the bubble of seeming benevolence burst his fork.

and the real naked soul of the wicked earl revealed itself.

"Bit hard on the kids, isn't it Bill?" said his wife, who, poor soul, had been watching their two youngsters "stretching" their stockings every night for weeks. For en principle they had been forbidden to ask for Christmas presents, or for that matter ask for anything: BI thought it bad for their education.

Hence above the mantelpiece hung the sacred text: "God helps those who help themselves." Yet somehow it always went to the burglar's heart to pinch at Christmas time, and that was what had made. Bill a bit "mopy" of late-witness his wife's black

eye.

"There is a trade union rate for Father Christmases," said the Earl, "and not a pénny less and not a penny more will any

And when I said 'No,' body get out of me.

I meant no ask the hospitals!"

So Bill, visualising the vast possibilities of the situation, agreed, though not without apologies and various murmurings about the difficulty of the times, but this seemed only to make the old gentleman still more flint-like.

their host was "giving" the party-and "giving" is not "business."

Out of sheer devilment, therefore Iforace W. Montague Jones now began to take liberties, and he found himself putting on the Earl's peculiarity of voice and man- ner so perfectly, that the kids were all cer- tain it was his lordship.

The butler himself was almost deceived; then, discovering his mistake, he duty reported the impertinence to his master, but not before a society gossip paragraphist had got down a cheer that had gone up for "the Earl of Santa Claus."

It would be in the papers the next day, "if his lordship would not mind" as the journalist had whispered interrogatively to Bill the Burglar, who was, of course, the real man inside the lordly whiskers, and Bill-consented.

That settled it; and that very evening "Bill" stayed at home and read all about

The importunate journalist then asked "Scrooge" in his most respectable edition of Dickens, generally only kept for show in for a little interview afterwards, but Bill The next day Bill put said he had another appointment elsewhere, the drawing-room. through a trade enquiry re the Earl of which, of course, made the journalist all the Shotover through the gazette offices of more importunate, for the lad knew his job. New up to that moment Bill had really the underworld!

It was still vague and it was hazardous

He had done a Christmas in gaol once before and Santa Claus had missed his call on purpose to show his disapproval-and any way, it was a time when all the world wants to be "pally like"-even burglars.

-"Bill Sykes," however, I must add, was not his real name: merely the name he work- The answer was anything but compli-only been thinking of his children-that ød under. And as his had been a prosper-mentary to his lordship, who was openly was the appointment he had in mind! He eus profession in his earlier days, it had still reported as a "black leg"-being a director had intended to go along to them in remained a sort of "pet name" on the lips of of a notorious bucket shop that neither costume as a surprise, with some of the his wife, Mrs. Horace W. Montague Jones, abided by the rules of the Stock Exchange flotsam and jetsam of the Earl of Shotover's cf "The Laurels," Monpelier-road, Black- nor those of any decent self-respecting party, but the journalist's importunity put heath, to give them the full address by which burglars' union. As to the hospitals, Bill another idea into his head... they were known to the outer world, which, found out it was waste of time even to as a matter of fact, looked upon them as circularise the blighter with a returned in the extreme, but all the recklessness of his profession seemed to suddenly burst ultra respectable; Bill's very slang being a stamped envelope. bit of clever professional ventriloquism. But So when Bill's eldest naked his fatherforth in an, irrepressible impulse.

Hardly realising the risk of what he husiness had been shockingly bad of late. that night whether "Robin Hood" was dead, Society had lost its hereditary pride in pearls Horace W. Montague Jones said, "No, dear; intended, Bill whispered to the journalist: and even insurance agents could hardly tell the spirit of Charity still lives, and no doubt "Afterwards just slip out and I'll ring you the difference between real and imitation there are adventurous souls even to-day who up if you give me your phone number at pearls, let alone burglars.

can see the humour of taking from the rich the office." So Horace-Bill-Montague Sykes put the to give to the poor, just to teach them a "Police Gazette" carefully into the fire for lesson in human love ... God forgive destruction and, adjusting the "Parish them." Magazine" ostentatiously half in and half Now the latter was the nearest ap outside his pocket, prepared to stalk out for his morning stroll on the common where he usually kept his business appointments-a mille out of earshot of cops, 'tecs, and hidden microphones which are the terror of the modern crook.

The journalist, though loth to get back to his paper, was too conscious of the value of the scoop to refuse, and Bill saw him make an excuse and disappear just a little proach Bill the Burglar had made to a before the party broke up and whilst the prayer for many a long day: for as I have cheers for "the Earl of Santa Claus" were already said, the spirit of Yuletide was in still echoing around the now bare Christmas the air and Horace W. Montague Jones had tree with its few remaining lights flutter- been chosen to play the part of Santa Claus ing out. stthe Earl of Shotovey on Christmas afternoon!

All this while, alone in his study, the "Something is bound to turn up," he

wicked old Earl was trying to reckon how said to himself, adjusting the bottom of his trousers; and just as he was half way across Oh, what a party it was, too, at the many of his guests' parents would invest in Heath, near Greenwich Park Gate, who great house, as "Santa Burglar Claus" was his companies, and whether the "game was and should bump into him but an elderly ushered into the magnificent ball-room, with worth the Candlemas," so to speak gentleman, with a benevolent looking face. Its dozens of chattering children all with from the look upon his face as Bill entered.. Bill was so surprised that he even forgot, in their mammas and aunties every one of Bill could see that any hopes he might have entertained for an additional bonus had the true Christmas spirit, to pinch the beg-whom was wearing real jewels! gar's watch, although it was nice foggy Yes Bill had never been tempted as he already been forfeited by the vocal imper- weather, ideal for such a job.

was tempted that day. There must have sonation that had elicited the "three cheers "I beg your pardon, sir," said the gent, been a hundred thousand pounds of for the Earl of Santa. Claus."

"Confound your infernal insolence, "but I am very short-sighted advanced sparkles at least within a radius of ten stage of cataract, to be precise. As a mat-yards of him. But the innocent laughter of fellow," was his lordship's outburst as ter of fact, I was looking for a Father the children brought back his own childhood Horace W. Montague Jones was ushered into Christmas."

to him. He found himself, in fact, really his hosts bibulous presence.

Bill the Burglar made some trite re. Bill's first conjectare was that the old enjoying it as much as they were. But, fellow was a lunatic, but second thoughts strange enough, the Earl did not seem to mark about his having been so popular, that revealed an iden-Yes, by gooh he would be enjoying it at all himself; his noble he felt the children should be made to realise riek it, and by the time the two had got benevolence was apparently only a business.to whom they were indebted for the party, down the hill to the station, Horace W. mask-for though the host, he was drink- and that he had taken the liberty of putting Montague Jones had secured the "job." ing all alone, and drinking hard.

his humble ventriloquial talent to that pur This job was nothing less than to im- personate Santa Claus at an afternoon Christmas party, and the benevolent old

"Strange," thought Bill the Burglar to pose! himself, "how one can be mistaken in psychology," but he supposed it was because

(Continued on Page 28)