coinspifed volume of Heroes and Her Worship will be the "Hero ag Politician," and the Horo Ho
TEH CHINA MAIL.
SIGNS.
Let us make your signs and we care not who makes your
kong. It is not certain if the signs follow will be John Morley and which litter the place are to be Bonar Law,
NEW STOCKS JUST RECEIVED. amblazoned for us and these to laws, might well be said of Hong-
"FOSS & CO'S CHOCOLATES 1-lb.
very finest quality.
FULLER'S Almond Fudge, Chocolate,
}
Caramels, Assorted Caramels,
Peppermint Lumps, etc., etc.
A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD. THE HONGKONG DISPENSARY,
-Powell
Phone Central 4579
SHOES
FOR
Our Racecourse.
taken as a sample of the mentality of those who make them or of those who are asked to observe them. Thus, users of the Peak Tramways are curtly requested:"Please.do The recent heavy ruins have again not spit in the car." Kowloon Ferry-
ites have before them continually: focussed attention on the deplomble" Please do not spit." On the rail- condition of daining facilities in the way the notice is:-" Please do not (veighbourhood of the racecourse at place your feet on the tables or Happy Valley. Granted that the seats." The most polite of all is the notice on the lower level cars downfall on Tuesday was excoption which in courtly terme emphasises ally heavy, it can scarcely be the truth that "It is dangerous to
markable for the performance of Miss Brenka Blood Vessell who reached double forte G. In extremis without the slightest effort. Unfortunately the ef- fort
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3,
OUR LOCAL POETS.
HAPPINESS.
was marred by the With Faith- and Hopo to forward Christy Minstrel troupe next
t ⚫ look, door who were busy rehearsing And leave the Past behind; for their next annual outbreak,To-work-and-play_and_singand | and who burst out into the refrain
brook
of "Sister Mary Jane's Top No ill to living kind. Note," with
Sit back, hold tight, Mary's going
to sing,
She's going to try and crack her
throat,
For it acts the bells a ringin'
and all the birds a singin'
Does Sister Mary Jane's top
note..
jadvanced us an exense for a portion lean over the railing." Quite the meeting of the Book Clubl
collection could be made of these
ABOUT
*THE
COW.
The New Printer's
book which sent him to sleep,
behind?"
1029.
JOHN KYOTO.
REVERIE.
Wint difference to us shall it over
make
Whether we are sad or blue to-day When our earth-life shows that all
to-daya
place,
time,
pant
cheers of now,
beings
none other than Mutchinson's Harassing plights of the delinquent
"If Spinsters Come." This, as Devil's first attempt at is well known, is based on Whel-Form by-paths to the joys and composition: The cowley's well-known lines. "If Spin- is a no-bull and kine sters Come, can weddings be far And experience makes us more able hearted creature. The nian who looks after her is called or
The A.D.C., has advanced a step cowhard, but for all that he is further in its efforts to produce
Cows exist by means of i coward. oxygen in the atmosphere. But Shernard Baw's play "Back to Jerusalem." It has been decided the cow is the milk made. I know this to be true, for I have sean to pronounce the latter word Jer
and not Jeerusalem. the milk maid by the cow.
a
The cow has been introduced
WAS For
TEMININE GEOMETRY.
The clever wife of an obtuse husband! suffers acutely. The married angle
is an angle of third degrees.
If his love is equal to her love, sigh, for sigh and their ideas, when equally expressed side by side, agree in every particular, the result is a perfect colacidence. This has never yet been demonstrated, but is a reductio ad absurdum.
To love and live for the thrills of
to-day And emblazon its name o'er the
past,
Tho by-gones which we now shall
forget
Midst the halo of this palpitant¦
day.
-H. M. BruVA 3rd November. 1028,
SHADOWS BEFORE.
Coming Events Advertised
In The Mail.
ENTERTAINMENTS.
of both tracks and those of the foot-prohibitive signs and we shall be was interesting if only by reason Aro yesterdays and monowe take it ball grounds being a miniature lake glad to have examples of any that of the fact that a member re- of tend. During the heavy rains, come to the notice of our readers ported that he had found a and in the swift flight of fugitive just previous to the last gymkhem, who may care to send them in. a breach was made in the cemetery wall and volumes of water, sand; and wd flowed through the main entance to the enclosure and found an outlet on the courge. In spite of this, nothing appears to havà been done to prevent a recurrence. On the present occasion, we are credibly OOOOOOOOOOX000000000000000000000x informed, that the quantity of nail and sand washed onto the course is any times greater. It would appear at some steps could have been taken prevent the flooding of the course and football grounds. by widening the cemetery ditch to into song. There is an old song carry the overflow of sand and called the "Soldier's S'teer." This Ltd water from the hills to a point in also that pathetic ballad.
was written in Beef Flat, as the neighbourhood of the Monu-Heifer and Helfer." To call a cow ment, so that Hoppy Valley night an ox is to make a bull Crutches be preserved for the recreation of for cows are called acoustics. A the thousands that assemble there cow likes rosting. It will sleep in during the football season and so that a shed and lie on the grass, but it the owners of penies, who provide will not stretch itself on a couch. the racing public with much excel-
A cow does not carry on an argu- lont sport at gymkhanas, might be ment very obstinately. It will given a fighting chance to keep soon give whey. Cows seem to do their ponien fit. Even if the well, for even at leath they make gymkhana is held on November 10 both ends meat. I can't think how and 12, the ponies cannot possibly it is so many calves die young. be in the condition they would Perhaps the butcher could re-veal havo beon had not training been the secret. interfered with. It would appear a hopeless tusk to concentrate on the inner course for the present. With due deference we would suggest thing the grass track be cleared of mud thieves who failed to break into without delay, "dolls" be erected the residence of the Bishop of to protect the inner "going" near Sheffield in his absence on holiday, the rails and trining be allowed on stole a dozen fowls from the poul-off by cheap lines. the outside of the grass track. This try shed. What their object- would, at any rate, allow of fast beyond a desire to obtain posses- work being feasible from the 6 fursion of anything to be got-was, lang post to the distance post. We will probably remain a mystery have agen the plan tried successfully But known instances of peculiar on other courses in similar circum actions of Chinese burglars who have been baffled are on record. stances.
Less than a month ago, a number of armed robbers broke into a Hollywood Road stationer's at closing time. Not being able to get $10,000 which they told the master was known to be in the shop, they spent the night there wrath by and wreaked their
the "bshow-cases and spoiling cupboards. They then whiled away the dreary hours by reading fiction in the shop and singing songs from books, and left at dawn.
Tennis, Golf or Walking.
EXCEPTIONALLY LIGHT AND WELL CONSTRUCTED WITH OR WITHOUT HEELS. *
WHITE BUCK BROGUE TAN WILLOW CALF BRUGUE
WITH STRAP.
*
THESE ARE NEW SHOES STRONG AND SERVICEABLE
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CALL AND INSPECT:--
HONGKONG CIGAR STORE CO., LTD:
"I've been in INSIDE ADVICE. the 'orspital and the docters 'ave taken away me appendix."
"Golly! They'd take anythink, It's a pity you didn't 'ave it in yer wife's name."
+
At boarding EPIGRAMS house many put on side, but few put on
The China Mail. Viscount Morley and Mr. Bonar flesh..
only to speak in torus of high praise,
Law are the two we have in mind
Bonurora Saturday, Nov. 9, 12. Whose examplar in the direction we
TYPES.
reason and
The toughest boarding-house chickens ara-not-served at table
THIEVES.
In Tuesday's Mail
Week News it was mentioned that
In days gone by when chivalry was known to the Chinese Bill Sykes, it was an invariable custom
for a gang which sent the inmates to sleep, to leave behind some money if they could not find any A Bohemian comes loot worth taking away. Unfor- HOWLERS. from Bohemia and is tunately times have changed now noted for sharing as a few months ago, a youth was everything that is yours with you." jailed for stealing one cent from a
Scorpions are very ferocious rep-woman. tiles, for if two were placed in a bottle together they would both sting each other to death till only one was left.
Don't say "Pleased to DONT'S, meet you" when in- troduced. It stamps you as a "wayback." A good story is go-
Don't Swearing is classical. A STORY. ing the rounde con-make it common by everyday use. Don't smoke in a woman's face. cerning the Bishop of London, who is said to have told She loves the smoke, bat hates a meeting that when he first went your discourtesy. to Bethnal Green it was a "sink, a morass, a cesspool of sh," but The ache in your legs is nothing when he left it after some years of to your mental torture when you work it was "God's own fair catch her eye. garden." A listener, seated next to the Rector of Bethnal Green, asked if this were a true descrip- tion. "It wasn't," answered the rector, when I left at half-past eleven this morning."
para-
Don't sit while a woman stands.
There are some personal lios your wife will always forgive. Don't hesitate to tell them,
have indicated deserves permanent enshrinement for present and future inspiration. The one gave supreme examples of honesty of conscience. Carlyle's "Heroes and Hero In an age of evangelical piety, and Worship" has become a classic of coming from an atmosphers redolent our time.
But whether it is read of all that was best in a religious and pondered as all good classics sense, he was honest in that his were submitted to the should be; whether the types that doubtes Carlyle sets before us as perhaps severest tests shat no-one of his time could, in language intellect dietated until they brought nujestic, in conception heroic, have him to a position the opposite to any direct appeal and fill us, or the that an easy-going nature might younger members of the community well fure contemed itself with whose thoughts should he moulded adopting. At the outbreak of the in the heroic if their future is to be war, Cabinet rank, was at once of worth, with admiration, is a resigned, his fixed objection to war matter of more or less idle specul. making it imperative that such was tion.
hitherto the only course. Easy to sit still Probably the
The time was at accepted warrior-hero typo prevails and acquiosce. and popular conception lingers on least the spectacular lending to the the person who has done things in berole in thought. From the quick the real of warlure who has and shoddy transition of a "To Hell fought battles, relieved beleaguered with Serbin" attitude, to a win the forces, and done brave decda, "not war at any cost, might have carried dream them all day long." If so, with it any less principled politician but not on those grounds solely, than John Morley, but into an another volume of the "Herove and honourable obscurity he was pre- Hero Worship" class is surely pared to go rather this prostituto called for. As in Carlylo's volume, his conscience to what he conceived the warriors will not have it all to be base ideals. *** their own way. The Happy Bonur Law chiare all by-bis Warrior will be found therein; of simplicity, and disinterestedness of that there will be no question; but action, Here was no spectacular representatives in branches of service' perarator appealing to passions and other than that of the battlefield prejudices and playing upon them will find high and honourable place, for personal popularity nud foremost among them will be possible fame which it seems aged a Scotch professional and our
A perusal of Mon mon of the stamp who recently have:
be deemed unworthy language would be after a month been lost to the service of not only The record of his achievement is or two, has prompted a reader to
days' papers would give one the Impres their own country, but to the race tog recent for repolitian. It may be send us the following examples of sion that Hongkong was sports of humanity. Men who in their that if is no rooont that already what may be expected
mad. So many ccounts of cricket, Hoots, Bo Reckon Young football; bowln, yachting, billiards, own life, and in their own way, and it jo being forgotten So-bo-it Chauncey Keus a wee bit aboosely remarkable. When the in the tasks to which they set them if there remain for us the thought gaalf. solvos, brought to bear a singular of his bonesty of purpose. This wo You betcha. Yons abonny shot degres of disinterestedness, a high, stres, and strose se a matter my filole bootlegger.
Yep! We aint got no bananas degree of courage, and what is more worthy of omulation. The public-mind I'm tellin ye important than all, a measure of man and the public service made Attaboy. Nouble-faced, boobs honesty of which it is possible honest. High then in the next ferma, yo ken.
obvious
and.
Dont' tell your wife not to powder, and then admire her friend's complexion!
Don't mind growing old. Think An American how you can skite" about what' FOR BABIES. paper in a recent you did when you were a boy!⠀ ⠀
editorial
If you must swear at the weather graph, succinctly stated one aspect use Spanish. It sounds more of the prohibition question in ade-euphonious, lightful manner: It commented: Always carry your wife's photo A woman candidate for mayor in your pocket. Don't tell her, you of West Hoboken, N.J., an- know; it is "coats of fire.!
Don't refuse alone at home and nounces this as her platform: "Milk for bables; malt for then eat Mrs. Smith's garlic salad mamas; beer for papas," If the with relish.. mammas and papas get too much of the second and third, there will be none of the first for the bables
Could it have been said any better or more briefly?
Our reference to the DIALECT. fact that the Manila Golf Club had eng-
surmise as to what that pro's
לי
Don't pat crery woman you meet on the back; it's done in the movies, but might be misunder stood from you, it'
A woman's figure is bounded by straight lines drawn from one end of her imagination to the other.
The science of feminine geometry is based on lines, The most im portant are: Perfect line, cheap line, new line, outline, waist line, bee-line, line-up, knee-line, and
feline.
A perfect line is rarely found on the figure of a straight woman un- less her husband or father is rich and generous.
The end of the season is marked
A new line is the line of least resistance.
on hot sunny days have outlines.
Beach figures and street figures
The waist line may be construct- ed anywhere between the base and the apex of the figure.
A bec-line is the shortest dist- ance between two drapery shops.
The knee-line is the limit of practictical demonstration, and any other lines drawn above it are im- aginary lines.
To describe a line-up, the
hypotenuse of the feminine figure is made parallel with the line of the drapery counter.
The most difficult problem in feminine geometry is to make both ends meet on the bread line.
There are four kinds of circles- home circle, limited circle, circle of acquaintances, and dress circle. The only triangle is the "eternal | triangle."
Today's Poem,
(Nonsense Verses.)
I love to sea the little stars All dancing to one tuno; I think quite highly of the sun,
Arid also of the moon.
The million forests of the earth
Come trooping în to tea. The great Niagara waterfall
Is never shy with me.
I am akin to all the earth
By many a tribal siga The aged pig will often wear
That sad, sweet smile of mine.
I love to bask in sunny fields,
And when that hope is vain I go and bask in Baker Street,
All in the pouring rain.
-G. K. CHESTEDTON,
WEATHER CALENDAR.
NOVEMBER S.
1754:
Don't go to church to look reas pectable. So many "pillers" have 1759. proved broken reeds.
Don't growl at the fashions; they | give a man a chance to see what he is courting.
SPORT,
November 3.-Coronet Theatre; Lon Chaney in "All The Brothers Were Valiant."
1920
UP-COUNTRY NEWS.
SUN YAT-SEN UNPOPULAR.
– MAGISTRATE AND CHAIR COOLIE.
(From Our Own Correspondent.),
"Konomcon, November 1.” Dr. Sun Yat-aon in getting decid edly unpopular here on account of the pross-gangs, lovica on com merco and forcible nasumption of private property without payment. Since the full of Young Kong.. Kongmoon and its part of Pak Kai seer to be in a state of siege; searchlights aro flashed all night and martial law is in operation."
Novol measurea were adopted by the Sun Wui magistrate to comply with an order for supplying 100 coolics for the Cantonese troops proceeding to the East River front. Twelve were forcibly taken, twenty were procured from pedestrians and the reinsinder were secured by sand. ing out servants to call for chairs and putting the bearers under arrest when they arrived for their fares af the Yamen.
Over 100 coolies wore rounded up in Pak Kai this morning to act as transport men for goldiers bound for
the scene of operations.
PIRATE DEN RAIDED.
To be forewarned is forearmed. Admiral Chan Chak heard of an jintended attack by pirates and anti- Sun elements. He sent some of his troops with a detachment of Merchants Volunteers to attack their stronghold at Lai Ngok, about About mile from Kongwoon. forty pirates were captured, the same number of huts were burnt down and thirty-six captives were relonged.
After a running rifle deel with a pirate's launch at Chu Lin, half a mile from Pak Kai, the Canton-Bun Choong tow-boat ferry narrowly escaped without casualties."
The
Kongmoon police com- mandant has been made a Brigadier and has left for the front with big
November 3.-Star. Theatre; Max Linder in "The Three Must Get Theres, and Don G. Merle, the Magician.
troops. Remnants of the former let Lew Cody in
November 3-World Theatre; division passed hero from Wuchow Man."
"The Butterfly en route for the southern peninsula where Sun's enemies have got the November 3.--The Grand Theatre; Hobart Bosworth in "White
upper band. Hands"
In addition to the fleet in the harbour, the gunboat "Kwong November 3.-Theatre Royal Tai "Kong Koo" and "Kwong Forbes Russell Comedy Co., open- ing performance "The Dippers," Hung" bave arrived together with
9.15 p.m.
a number of armed launches. The Forbes Russell Comedy Co.," The of some importance.
November 5-Theatre Royal; place in getting to be a naval port
Laughing Lady,” 9.15 p.m.
November 6Theatre Royal; Forbes Russell "Comedy "Secrets," 9.15 p.m.
Co.,
November 7-Theatre Royal; Forbes Russell Comedy Co., "Paddy The Next Best Thing,"
9.15 p.m.
November 8-Theatre Royal ; Forbes Russell
Co.. Comedy "Windows," 9.15 p.m. Forbes Russell
November 9-Theatre Royal; Comedy Co, "All of A Sudden," 9.15 p.m. Forbes Russel! Comedy Co., November 10.-Theatre Royal;
'Bought and Paid For,” 9.15 p.m. SOCIAL. November 3-Dancing at Palace Hotel, Kowloon, 9.15 pm.
SPORT,
November 3.-King's Farewell Boxing Tournament 8 pm.
November 3.-Opening cruise of the season and ladies' day at Royal Hongkong Yacht Club House, 3 p.m.
November 10-13. Hongkong Jockey Club's next Gyrakhana.
November 15.-Palaos Fotel handicap billiarda tournament com.
mences.
LAND SALE
November 5-At P. W. D. Offices, one lot of Crown Land on New Road, 3 p.m.
COLONY'S FINANCES.
FIGURES FOR JULY, “
The Colony's financial statement for the month of July this year is as follows:-
REVENUE AND EXPENDITURE Balance of Assets
and Liabilities June 30 1923. Revenue from July
1 to 31, 1923
2
Expenditure from July 1 to 31,
1923
Balance
$ 15,367,011,22
$1,955, $5.7% $17,322,166.93
$ 1,499,225.36
- 15,822,941,57
A comparative statement of the for the period ended July 31, this Colony's revenue and expenditure- year, gives the following totals under revenue head-
Estimates, 1923: $18,567,270; from Joly I to 31 $1,955,155.71; revenue for the cor year, $1,786,520.61: actual revenue- responding period the previous.
to July 31, this year $14,541,003,02 and revenue for corresponding:
the period
previous year
revenue
PUBLIC AUCTIONS. November 5.-Lammert Bros., the steam launch "Vancouver" at $13,298,750.85. Sale Rooms, noon,
Under the expenditure head the November 5-Lammert Bros., statement gives the following valuable household furniture at total: Sales Rooms, 2.30 p.m..
MEETING.
Estimates, 1923 $22,583,835 ; ex- penditure from July 1 to 31
November 5.---Sooond ordinary $1.499,225 36: expenditure for cor annual mooting of shareholders in responding period the previous the Hongkong & Canton Ice Manu-year, $1,312,33273; actual expendi- footering Co., Ltd., at 2, Lower ture to July 31, SI1,376,703.86; and expenditure for corresponding Albert Road, noon.
period the previous year, $9,590,359.46.
́OTHER MEITINOJ,
1.
LOCAL AND GENERAL
BOOLAL AND PERSONAL...
Mrs. Piercy, Mr. and Mrs. A. Button, Mrs. A. G. M. Fletcher, and Mr. Owen Hughes were passengers on the outgoing "Caledonia.”.
November 8-Hongkong Horti I can't say that to-day it (Strawberry) puta me much cultural Society, annual meeting, in mind of another posoli of Stewart Bros. Office, 5.15 p.m., my lady's (Townshend), That it would be a very plansant place, if Mrs. Clive's face did not rise upon it and make it so boll”” The gan. and Mrs. Clive seem gane for the winter-Walpole,
The Hon. Mr. J. H. Kémp K. C... Poor Robin's Almanack.
appointed a Thick foga, and some wet. next sitting on November 26, at C.B.E.. has been
Director of the Widows' and Go not out of town: Gouta
Orphan's Pensions vice the late Mr. and rheumatisms are abroad..
Three cases of small-pox were | S. B. C. Ross, O.B.E, Warm clothes, good fires, notified during the 24 hours ending and a mom fall of pictures, November 1. glasses, and scarlet damask, A the best physick- Walpole.
LOST DAYS.
10.30.
The Full Court is to hold its
His Excellency the Governor · has, in accordance with lastractions The Silk which left here by received from the Secretary of the "P.&O." s.s."Mantua" on State for the Colonies; beon pleas the 5th October was delivered in ad to recognise Mr. J. R. Summers Marseilles on the 2nd November, as a Vice-Consul for the United: transit of 27 days..
States of America in Hongkong,
three
opposite side get going, we may Lafe runs swiftly and it may be
It is notified In the Government
Ch Fur Coughs and. Colds lik expect to have accounts, of the do-over before we lave done anything Cosette that unless cause is shown
When changeable weather or exposure ings of our moro, quiet institutions for our companions If we lose to the contrary within on something like the following to-day, it is likely to be the same months, the Pacific Banking and to cold sod wet multe la bengobible,
I start a foton taking Chanterligy Conn Linest kaprave story to-morrow and days are lost Exchange Coy, Ltd, will be struck Rom:dy Handard for over ditya Cad. Loff the re later and the Company and strongly recommended for stabhorus The weekly meeting of the lamenting over lont daya,***** Philharmonic Society, was 10
dissolved?
wrakening oought. For sslcoverywhero, STOPFORD BRookh.
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