1922-09-18 — Page 8

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it might be a very dirty job." Thủ teller of the tale acknowledges that he never felt so vanquished íà his life, and after puzzling his brain for somo "ilteen years bu was still without a

suitable reply.

. A READY RETORT.

Elcalionrosing it, of course, a fruit- ful soil for everything in the way of wit it would be difficult to heat a reparted. As a specimen of ready

retort of Charles Burleigh, the great opponent of the slave trade. He was

£400,000 GIVEN AWAY.

NAVY AND AIR FORCE SURPLUS.

Attention is called by the Com- mitton of Public Accounts is their third ropert, on the 1920-21 accounts Navy and Air Services. to gifte of public property by the

Various ships surplus to after-war

MARQUESAS.

"ROBINJON CRUSOE FEELING.

Intended

LITTLE KNOWN ISLANDS,

If you want got the Robinson Cruson feeling, go to the Marganas Islande. You will have to join a 70-

ton echooner with a native crew, and Taliti-1000 miles. the voyage will tako you 20 days from

in the middle of one of his eloquent requirements, and surplus aircraft eod

Mr. D. G. Coleman, of the Carnegie denunciations of slavery, when a well-material to a total value of about Institute, Washington, went to the aimed and very rutten egg struck £100,000 were presented as fren gifte Marquecas, and he says he never fels

We him full in the face. This, he said to Dominion Coveramente.

more like being Robinson Crusoe in calmly as be produced his handker- cannot" states the report. "feel

his life.

The vessel ruue from Tahiti twice chief and wiped his face, is a strik. satisfied with a position which would ing evidence of what I have always allow of rubstantial gifts of poblic

a year. Soon after leaving Tabiti maintained, that pro-elavery argu- property being made without the Mr. Coleman decided to take the previous knowledge of Parliament, 'Now, my friend,' said the candi-The greatest constitutional authorities bearinge for himself, and the Daive date, making a last strenuous effort have laid it down that gifts of national captain was delighted to be relieved of the responsibility. In return Mr. cale of considerable imprince, to stir up enthusiasm in his brazers, property cannot be made without the

Coleman was given the captain's his Lor lebip gave every appearance what do we need in order to carry

berth. I was pleased I got that of not attending to what was being this constituence by the biggest

bunk," said Mr. Coleman, because the decks were soon nwash." sal, and as it were to acentuate his majority in history? Another can contempt, be turned to the dg and didate I yelled a voice from the back audibly addressed some remarks to of the ball.

side him in court, and on a certain

day, when Curran was arguing a

ments are unsound.

We are

approval of Parliament. doubtful whether, even in suggesting a limit of £10 000 for such gifta] last year we did not go farther than the Constitution all wa."

The inhabitants of the Marquesas are Polynesian, and their physique is wonderful. The girls between the agea of 15 and 20 compare favourably

beautiful."

They keep their hair nicely dressed with coconut oil.

him. Curran at once stopped "Go on,; There are many examples of re sir," said the judge. I beg your partes in connection with the clerical pardon." answered Carran. "world, a selection from which is given house allowance has continued to be with European girls, and are "very |

THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT,

men

With regard to the accounts of the Roya: Irish Con tabulary, salary, and issued to on ex Jospector-fleneral of the constabalary for more than two years after March 10, 1920, although accesar was appointed on March 11, 1920. "We cannot but express rprise that an unusual payment of this kind should have been made and continued so long without Parliamon tary authority."

"Thure were only two other white men-batanists-on the Marquesas

when I was there," said Mr. Coleran

"You see the native in almost

his original state and the visitor it

I have used the word 'artless' in my title, writes Sir Edward Sullivan Bart., in recent number of the Nineteenth Century, for good reason: thought your Lordships were in con- here. Cardinal Yaughan and Dr for if there be even a suggration of Bultation." Ats latr period, when Adter, the Chief Jewish Rubbi, were premeditation about a repartee, it this same judge had become Lord next to one another at a lunchron. deatre to be what it is meant for its Chancellor, Cairan was arguing before Now, Dr. Adler, raid the Cardinal, power is

good. It is true that rebim, when he was interrupted in when may I have the pleasure of partee has been diagnosed, analysed, one of his arguments by this cutting helping you to come hain? The and defined in many ways from early remark: Mr. Curran, if that is low, Rabbi replied without a pause: At times down to our own day; but, I may burs my law books. your Lminence's wedding, a reply

taken at his par value. As soon as instead of wearying my readers with Oh, no, my lord, replied Curran; that for appropriate neatness would the reaults of euch investigations, better rad them."

you go among them you begin to be hard to improve upon. There was

The Committee's attentica was call share everything with them. If a prefer to state briefly that in my

quite a delightful reply onru made by ed to the payment of £13 917 for the native catcher a fish he will share it opinion a good repartee is the enying

Lord Chief Justice Russel in his Dr. Potter, Bishop of New York, when maintenance of the Persian Cossack with you. I had my Art meal of of something on the spur of Che moment which, by the unanimone early days at the Bat was asked in asked by a lady how it was that invision in May 1920 on the strength raw fish there, and it was very pice.

"The islands are now under French consent of its bearers, leaves the court one day by a brottes barrister pictures and statute the angels of a to'ogram from the Foreign Office person replied to practically destitute what was the extreme penalty for are always represented as women which had been superseded by a later control, but for some years past the without beards teleg aphic instruction. "We cannot education of the natives bas bean of further speech by way of defence. bigamy. Two mothers-in-law,' was or young

or moustaches: Everyone knows hip feeling." state the Committee, neglected. You can tell the age of a We are told by some authorities the answer.

It is not always necessary that some that women asturally inherit the that the instructions issued by the ustive by seeing whether he can speak that a repartea should be courteous in form, though severe in substance, taontine speech or irritating observa- kingdom of heaven, but the men only Foreign Office were not sufficiently a little French. If he can, he is sure

to ba between 25 and 30, and difficult either to mistake or to tion should be made before a repartes get in by a very close shave. À D'eur."

"A conspicuous instance," they rosent. It is un-laubtedly so in its, can spring into existence. It may visitor to St. Albac's on one occasion most polished guise-where it takes equally well be called into being by complained that though he liked the state, "of the practice of allowing on a high form of wit and leaves no circumstances of an annoying nature, service, he objected to the stink of crust expenses is seen in the Colonial rankling sting behind--but inenmuch and where no word is spoken. An the incense, I am sorry, my friend. Office Vote in a casa of the visit of as some of the best repartees ever de- excellent instance of this sort was said Father Stanton very gravely. the Secretary of State (Mr. Winston livered are not of that highly polished; furnished by a witty Hibern'an called 'Why?' asked the stranger. Well, Cha-chill) to Cairo. In this case a order, crammed though they may be Jarges McCarthy some fow yes you see," eplied the clergyman, scale of expense was at first fixed by tiasis, leprosy and consumption ate with cleverness, I do not say that 20. He attended a certain dianer in there are only two stinks in the a-xtte Treasury but in response to the diseases most provalent in the they should be altogether exclu led in Dublin, and as the proceeding world-incepse and brimstopo--and legram from the Secretary of State islands. But," Mr. Coleman went about to cloee be got you will have to choose between om Cairo they waived this regular on, the native is not afraid of treating of the subject. I agree sat beri were

practice and agreed not to impose a leprosy or e'ephantiwi. De kapws with the Irishman who defined re-up and asked the chairman's per them.

lina't.

he cau lire to a good old age with partce as an insult with its dress mission to propose one last toast suit on, because, like the quics and and id: Mr. Chairman and Gentle- the neighbourhood of Dublin in the

la 1896 there were 6.000 natives, in either, but with tuberculosis he is cat His request being granted, bo rege Famous amongst the humorists of

off early, and that is why he feats it. shampion of the prize ring, it cannot me, the tout I have the honour to past ecutury was Father James Healy,

1000, 1,300, and now 2,000. The be dissociated altogether from brutal submit is that of Absent Friends, parish priest of Little Bray. Na ac ity. A collection of amar replies and with the toast I would like to cut of quick and witty answers which conformed too closely to the couple the name of the wine waiter could pretend to be complete without more polite and diplomatic standard who was supposed to look after me including at lust a few of bis. He was might posess the elements of instructo-night." The effect was magical, always a high favourite at the tion, but would certainly be locking/and Jacques' had more to drink in Vicerega Lodge, often in company December 1919 to pay them £3,500 They do it with a fishbone,"

the last ten minutes of the banquet with an old friend of his, Lord Justice instead of reconditioning the ves

weil directed knock-out blow of a

in more amusing qualities.

SUB BOSA.

given to any mission, and equally I seems to us it is very undesirable for unlimited power of spending to be undesirable for a Cabinet Minister to

"French nissions ured to be aclive!

in the islands, but no one seems to trouble now. The boys and girls of 15 or so know no French. They are not educated at all."

Arcurding to Mr. Coleman elopbau-

ast the example of asking it.” race soon will be extinct. They are The purchase and reaale of the the most wonderful tattooers in the steam drifter Colonel by the world-they surpass even the Maoris. Admiralty is referred to. The The Marquesas natives tattoo the Admiralty agreed with the owners in entire body, even to the eye'de.

No one is altogether immune from than in all the earlier and drier hours Barry, of the Irish Bench. Osei. The dookyard authorities, to

to which it had already rua.

A TOUCHINJ EPISODE,

оде occasion *t.

A

Christmasive men work, meanwhile Lad began

luncheon party, who the London The subject of imlibing reminds me derrys were in cili e, the converse

to recondition the Colonel" and did work to the extent of £1,300. The

a witty reply: kings and others of es altid birth or high official standing down to the man in the street, they all bave had their turn: tut the of a touching little episode that took tion turned on the decorations of the owners would make no rebate for this humorist is, of course, trending on place in the town of Limerick. A lady season, and the Barceness, think- and the Admiralty bought the drifter rather dangerous ground when enthusiast from England was staying ing to put a poser to his Rover nec, outright for £4,800 and spent 12,997 knowingly takes too great a liberty with some friends in the country, said across the table: Father Ilealy, on repairs, making the total cost with those of the highest rank, and and thought to try her band on I wonder if you or Lord Justice Burry £7,797. The "Colonel" was sold by when dealing with much the repartee the natives in the cause of temperance, ever did such a thing as kiss anyore the Admiralty in June 1921 for £760. has to be wrapped up with more than Furnished with a list of names by her under the mistletoe? Oh no, your ordinary care if trouble is to be host, she proceeded to the poorer Excellency, answered the wit. When suburbs of the town and called on a ever the Lord Justice or myself did Mrs. D. rty. Good morning, Mr. anything in that line it was under the Doherty, she said in a coaxing ort role."

avoided.

WIT IN THE COURT ROOM,

Pontius Pilate."

mean

IN BORNEO,

WITH THE "WILD MEN."

FRIENDLY BEAD-HUNTERS,

Mr. H. . Raven, of the American Museum of Natural History, New York, wh is in Australia collecting sperimens of that country's fun, has been among the wild men of Borneo the head hunters,

Wan Mr. Rwen got into the in

white man. natives-Dyaks--who had never seen

They ran into this jungle, briting their drums at they fled. Mr. Raven had a Malayan "boy" will Tim, But for a while he had it all to him- soon established himself in the village. eelf. During the day the "wild mea'

"They proved to be the most

space ie, it you were Examples of willy reparters are of tone.. Good mot.ow kindly.. At a dianer-party in Dublin when there was then a very stingy old Dr. enough not to give say more. Now furnished in large numbers by courts ma'am' replied the woman of the the ladies had left the dining room Palmer in Dublin, who would nes? of law, whether bigh or low, sorae of the best being 1eported from the legg Bosse, taking ber arms out of this fr end Lord Justice Barty louve mate than the legal fare, and terior of Beraro he encountered domain in Ireland. It was there for at can I be doing for ye1 I'm remarked to him: 'I cay, Father ling ley poisener, which was much washing tub at which she was engaged. himself sitting next to the padre and shortly after the execution of the instance, that a certain fudge of the collecting for a drunk ria home, Mrs. James, did you ever Be a oman taked of in the city, the old re High Court in bygone days refused to Doherty, said the visitor. Ye are, quite to decolleté as the lady who was drave right ncross the town, a dis- entertain an application for the ma'am? replied the other. "Then, opposite to you at dinner? Never tance of some four miles, on & very sdicornment of a cass Over Gond if ye send round about ten o'clock to all the padre since I was weaned. cold and disagreeable diy. and at Friday. Certainly not, Mr. Blank night, ye can collect Daherty. The

There are two examples of emit the journey's red handled the jarves The better the day the bett r the propaganda work went no further. teplica connected, in a way, with the a sixpence. No outburst of un- deed.' said his Lordship, thinking he had disposed of the matter. Well, plies ever made to an impertinent ob. ing. Some of my readera may perhaps no, he was a philosopher. He held friendly natives I have ever met, said Perhaps one of the most deadly remedical profession that are worth tell pleasant language came from Jeba: came back, and were most hospitable. my lord,' replied counsel, all can servation was the following: About remember the Rugeley poison case, the the coin in his open han 1, gazed at it say is that you'll be the first judge to the end of the eighteenth century villain of which iece was Dr. Palmer. a while, and then mutter d to himself Mr. Raven. "They were very sit on Good Friday since the time of John Parsons was travelling by coach Public feeling was so deeply stirred but loudly enough to be overheard by suspicious of me for a time, but when

Two farmers in the west of Ireland popularly known as the hanging people of Rugeley could no longer wrong man.

in the company of Lord Norbury, then by the revelations at the trial that the his fare: Begorrs, they bang they boy explained to them my mis

|sion to collect specimens of the had a dispute over some lacd. The judge,' and happening to pass a toeinte the ill name that had been so case came into the High Court. The gibbet, Norbury, with a chuckle, widely connected with their town, and of visiting a lady patient, found bec

A doctor with a leaping to hunuar, anthropoid apes-they could not de erough for me. I shot two of the presiding judge tried to throw oil on said to his fellow traveller: Parsons, they took steps to have it changed. A reading Twelfth Night, and taking the and skins are now in the Smithsonian orang atau epecies, and the skeletoa the troubled waters and addressing where would you be now if that deputation, in fact, waited on Lord opportunity to show his own know Institution, Washington. the plaintiff when in the witneer-box. gallows had its due? Riding alone, Palmerston, then Prime Minister, with ledge seked: "When Shakespeare ho said: This is a trivial case. Why my lord,' was the well-deserved re-a view to anlisting his sympathy in wrote bout 'pa'ience on a mong an adult femalo, and its outstretched; their trouble, and asked him to help mant,' di you think he meant docter's arms measured 7, 10:a. from tip to be neighbours all your lives. Now; I At a sports meeting of the Irish them in the renaming of the town. patients? No, replied, the lady ; tip of the nails. The other was a suptose that, spart from this trea- Cyclists Association Mr. J. C. Feroy The Premier, who was asly humorist, ther are mostly found uner the young male." pats, you ccnsider the defendent a was acting, in company with a Father having heard what they had to say, monument."

"EARS TO THE SHOULDERS." very decent man? The plaintiff Boylan, as one of the juga. At the told them that all ha could scratched his head and hesitatingly dinner that followed Mt. Puroy was do for

The following scene is tran portedMr. Baven explained that some of Was to give from a war Lospital -

the Borno natives live in long hats said: "Well, ho is, sir, but be some determined to say something in praise them permission to use his own name Patient (to attractive nurse): Will that are built on bigh piles, bat others | times gete as drunk as a judge. You of his brother judge, who had, be instead of Rugeley, which bad got you be my wife when I recover! bave no fixed home. They wander moan as drunk as a lord, remarked thought, shown himself to be a such bad odour. They thanked him Nurse: Certainly."

about the jungle and live mostly in the president of the court. Yes, wy genuina and fair minded sportsman and withdrew It was only fater that lord, was the uplooked for answer,

Patient: "Then you love me t'fruit and wild pige. The women wear

pot Lettle it? You men bave got to joinder.

them

WHY HE LIVED,

Ope wa

all through the meeting. His tbey Lecovered that Palmerston was Nurse: Oh no; that's mercly part beagy sings-a mixture of tin and A MIGH PRIEST OF REPARTKE, enthusiasm possibly led him into the a curious Dame to adopt for a town of the treatment, I must keep my bad in their ears, with the result John Philpot Curran, a member of misinko of patronising the reverend that was so anxious to get rid of the patients cheerful; it was only this bat the lobe of the ear is extended the old Irish House of Commons, a gentleman Anyhow he opened the name of Palmer, so they ocu-luded to moraing that I promised to run away asveral indlies, and frequently reaches distinguished barrister, and after ball by saying. Father Boylan, I wish leave things as they were. The Prime with a married man who had lost to the shoulders being no thicker than wards Master of the Rolls, has been I were a rich stran. Why so said Misister's just was, of course, intended both his legs."

the point of u lead peucil at the end. called "the high priest of repartee," the priest. Because. after the broad as a reprimand for their silly conduct;

"Thess Dyak," said Mr. RaveU, and so incisive were his witticism in opinion 1 hard you give expression but, severe as it was, it lacked the A very neat saply has been attri-"are about the Quest rass of natives this direction that he was feerd and to today, I would like to appoint crushing neatness of a reply made buted to Bir James Knowles when I have ever seen. Although head respected by both jule and wideas. you as my private chaplain, Again about the same time by a Dublin editor of the Vincenth Century hunting has not been abolished and One of the Irish judges, Fitzgibbon by cams the query: Way!' 'Fort'a cabby in connection with the same He received a sonnet from the late they are idolaters I can say from my name, never attempted to hide his reason that I would not be afraid to

M. Lather Munday entitled 'Why own experienos that the white man is detestation of Curran end took many maka my co. fee four to you. The

do. I live Bir James wrass in just as safe among them as ko 10 - 10 ppportunities of dianlagiorit,~~Now pilest looked at him for a moment In those days in Dublin one couldasterYou-livo, dear Monday: Sydney. The homes are very much this pattioping Judge bad a metiff and am lagly retorted: That would take a four wholer from one end of because you sent your post by post, like the Javanese, with the exception

thas, bet been trained to gli ber be all very nieo for you; but for me, the town to the other for the run of sou did not bring it yourself! of course, of the long ear."-

trial.

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