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"COMPARISONS
ARE
BATURDAY, DECEMBER
1921.
lecture in print ? I hope he made a journalist c children handle such one was such a fat, handsome, jolly misapprehension, more parti ularly and practically no heart, and he ha point of saying this Would you see topics, that are admittedly beyond looking one, besides which his dog was as regards the clear and scientific written come deplorably true things paid its faro) that I merely sighed, premisses, it behoves me to make behind our bee-yutiful word home." a nige dog (though I doubt if it had definition of terme employed in th about the poisonously sloppy ham bug buttoned my surtout, and climbed on to the boat deck. It was wrong of pigin what kind of a haddook this He was writing of the individual me not to insist on the principle, and naughty prattler, should be smitten home, where the little ones ars I soothe my conscience by confessing with. By haddock I mean the kia privileged to hear mother nag the it now.
I had a note about our that played ghost in a comedy by T. servants, and quarrel with father, and WASTING now fire station on Praya. Dunville, Mr. Dunville was a all those holy and pure educational Bast, where the timber gentleman gifted in the matter of Maybe he is an evil man. Maybe he influences which make home so sweet. yards used to be. Thow amning vast concourses of people, in exaggerates the worst and ignores invite any normal busi-
the good. Eo. But he is not wishy Home sweet home" is wishy washy
we
17
AND GOOD MEN.
WS
THE
BLACK ART.
··Oនឆ MONEY
LOCAL COMPANY FINANCE
there
WHY I AM ANNOYED.
must
be
I am English horn and
PAUL LAKE
bred, and the purest Eng lish breed there is, for I come from a county that
28
GILBEY'S Early Man for yourselves Cir- them? The danger is that childish cumspice." This is not a joke: I readers will mistake their prattle for believe that in essentials we have not the obiter diota of grown-up men. changed. Men are still jealous
Not having ad greedy, fickle, lazy, and cantankerous
any of the gentle animals. Modern man speaks of
man's work, I do certain emotions on making his flesh
not know whether creep. This must be a legacy from to fel annoyed or complimented by the time when he were home-grown a comparison sent in by a reader at fur, and bristled up to scare his op- Swatow. He says he is a iegular ponent or rival. Early raan's version reader and admirer of the in- of Two Kesla to One was Two Sizes to dependent China Mail, especially One-he tried to look twice as big by on Saturdays, the spirit of which I puffing out his plumage, as a cat's compare with a certain American with red brick terminal pillar, that has music hall, and like others of the washy. That's my point. The song:
ness man to look at the board fence, the days when a music ball was a tail or a dog's neck. Ich Plumage writer, Brann the Iconoclast, much just been shoved up there, and to say theatrical profession, he encountered doggerel, whilst Robert Burns' "man not the right word? All right.. Say of, whose work is published in two if it is not a glaring waste of public a landlady who was too much for him. to man the wide world 'er" is manly, foliage.
volumes by Herz Brothers of Waco, money. It encloses nothing and is a In leaving her lodging, he told virile, poetry. The most wishy-washy. Last time I wrote Texas." If anybody cares to lend barrier to, nothing-except the desir BAD MONEY about a forged money me those two volumes I guarantee able view of seeing an engine coming her that her rapacity would not stuff. I know are the German volkslieder
Chee I got the Boss to read them and, of course to re-out, which might be useful to ap- prosper her. rup in for contempt 'turn them. Brann must be a smart proaching traffic. The fence is a long told her, "will be let again, but your Foiners are the most intensely
"This room,"
about home and fatherland, and we of court, so I'm going guy to get himself compared with promontory beyond the new street tenants will not stay long. I am rationalistic and patriotic people, fall all know what it led to. The Sinn to be particularly careful in this Me. paragram. A respectable tradesman
line. It is well, made of the best going away frdre, and my wraith of wishy-washy sentiments about Erin Thursday's report of material, has been carefully painted, will haunt it. Wait and see." Sure and Kathleen ni Honlihau and you was tried last week for tendering a
ARGUMENTS. Magistrate Lindsell's forged ten dollar note. Jury acquitted
and the last time I saw it they enough the next tenant left in two know what that leads to. I would like him, but in the meanwhile it cost him a fountainpen snatcher should not be cap to the pillar which must come that stayed only one day. The third for us that goes, if they would cat
sharp comments on seemed to be preparing for a concrete some hundreds of dollars to establish read too literally. For instance, I down sooner or later. Which s
or three days, and the lodger after my American friends better. 20 his innocence. The court didn't say am sure that when his Worship said ding authority is to blame? I want to be successors merely put their heads thee" stuff, and boast more of the spea quitted in an hour or two; his would-out a lot of the "My country, 'tis of "Sorry, old bean," or anything like "You are a perfect little scoundrel, full tell it what I think of it. that. During the trial it was asserted of arguments," he did not mean that
in at the door, turned up their noses, constitution, which is a good one, and by Mr. Dyer Ball that any business mere argumentativeness is scoundrel-
I have frequently con- and went elsewhere. The landlady suits me to a T. Toan should know the colours of our ly. If he did, what a scoundrel he must
fessed that I have no herself began to find the atmosphere banknotes, I'm willing to bet him a think nie The case makes me per-
head for figures. Balance of the room unbearable, though she Christmas turkey that nine out of ten sonally feel considerable uneasiness, without understanding. I can't say found nothing objectionable. Finally sheets I usually admire had it thoroughly cleaned out, and do not, whether British or Chinese. because not only am I as full of argu that I take them on trust, because I she sent to the Sanitary Authorities, Ltd. At first I thought that each bank ments as a German collar is full of don't. I take them to some business being a practical woman who did not was less accessible to the Romane, had its own ndividual colour for neck, but also, in the course of my friend, who explains them to me, and believe in ghosts, and suggested and Danes, and Normans than other A tenspot, but when
I came business, it happens that I often I say "Thanks. I see," and don't that to look into it, I found that I had snatch n fountain-pen. A fellow believe a word of it. So when I defect in the building.
bu some parts of our land were. While I was Hongkong and Shanghai bankuotes, feeling, you see, with the Artful suggest that the following quotation though they pulled the place about, and I thought that the Creator bad
But a child I thought of the same denomination, but of Dodger of Queen's Road Central, now from Sir Josiah Stamp, examiner and opened the drains, and tore out taken special pains with my county
a child, different colours. I have been so doing six months in moral quarantine. to the Society pestered with bad money here (in my
When the printer (really Accountants and Auditors,
of Incorporated the ceiling, they found nothing. And it was so manifestly superior to all care mostly coin, not notes) that I
the compositor)
has then one day the behaviour of a dog other counties. Even yet, after being sympathise deeply with good men
ap considerable bearing on local company that strayed into that room aroused converted like Paul by an intellectual proaches the end of a line, balance-sheets, you are to understand the attention of the slavey and the flash of light, I feel a little sore when who innocently try to pass bad
you will notice that he that I do so with the fullest intention mystery was solved. It was found Devon men and Sussex then and men money. Very few of us examine
often starts on a longer of pleading that I didn't know it that Mr. Dunville had nailed his of Kent and so on boast of their money carefully, and if
do word than he has room for. He sets was loaded, if it wounds any local breakfast haddock to the underside of counties. They are good counties, cannot always tell. I think a part of it, shoves in a hyphen, and directors. the previous character, etc, should be carries over the balance. When this "Misleading Balance Sheets," Sir haddock, or one just like it, that I but they are so evidently inferior to Under the caption of the table-top. It is that particular and I like them very much indeed, considered in all such doubtful cases, is done intelligently, and with know- Josiah recently said: "Think of the think would most appropriately Cumberland that. I feel intuitively before prosecution is proceeded with, ledge of the language, no one but a economic conception of capital as eclipse the imbecile countenance of that these men are immodest, and At the same time, when they do get proof reader is likely to notice it. But distinct from income, forgers, give 'em something with when it is done by a man who does deliberate upon the sorry figure that name of "A Mere Britisher.”
and then the correspondent who used the pen-exaggerate, and talk too much before boiling oil in it. In the last few not know the language, or only is out in the light of it by your modern
their betters. Now that is instinct, the months I must have thrown at least tiny smattering of it, you get words fetish of a 'safe' or 'sound' balance.
I am not annoyed barbaric instinot that is strong in dumb thirty bad tencent or twentycent like "reaching" divided into "re-sheet, which lies in almost every line pieces into the sea, and I'm feeling (aching," which simply will not do. and yet is approved by you because it
because he says all animals, the tropism that needs no the newspapers print cultivating or encouragement. Since savage toward all coiners. If the policeOur printer thinks me faddy and overstates no assets and understates
B.S. (Another Ameri-I began to use my brains I no longer will bring me the next one they catch, finicking when I complain of a thing no liabilities, while it has valuable Canist, which I understand to mean invert my empty tumbler and declare I'll give them an exhibition of really like that. It is a democratic office, premises written down to negligible Blooming Billyness). No. I rather noisily that " cannie auld Cummerlan scientific torture, that will make the and 28 I am not one of the figures and
agree with him there. reserves hidden in Grand Inquisitor look like an amateur. regular staff, he talks to me
The D.P. caps them aw still." I still feel that But this is my point-let them re-checkily as I address the taipane. and tucked away." I am told that bit in it that irritates me is the phrase can come out of the other counties. as innumerable places, of profits field up That was the worst kind of B.S. The that quite decent and worthy fellows published his letter for example, it does, you know, but reason tells me member that possessing. and Told me I wasn't a printer, if you some companies here have written off uttering” can be very incocently done please. I floored him by declaring practically the whole value of their That is an impudent perversion of the to brath, I was bound to perceive that
"wishy-washy
internationalism." Having advanced that far on the road. that I was. And so I am. He prints premises. That sort of way of fact, which is that internationalism what is true of counties is true of Friend of mine, in the on paper, but I make impressions camouflaging capital, and the hoarding EPIGRAM Government service, who upon human minds and hearts. As of exaggerated reserves, although my creed) is robustly intellectual and countries; and I'm such a convinced
read my note about a poet once said to a printer, being
logical, while it is nationalism that is internationalist and cosmopolouse a cheerful pessimist, defines a Truly to benefit mankind
ostensibly "prudent finance," is pro- invariably wishy-washy and sloppily now that when they prove to me the pessimist as a person who, confronted
bably often merely a far-sighted way sentimental and illogical. If this existance of sentient creatures on of rigging the share market. with a choice of two evils, chooses
mind you, I don't understand these of a louge-but no. I will not ready to admit they are as good as "Mere Britisher" have the brains Mars or any other planet, I'm quito both. That is witty. I pass it on that score. But if he wants to argue
matters, and am quite probably talk-
let ing, nonsense. about it, I'll start him off by saying it is not true. The way I look at it. is this. The pessimist recognizes both Į evils, and decides to make the best" of both. The optimist fancies he should, and I heartily agree with him. the Canton Government, if it heard decayed balderdash that has washed can choose the losser evil, but comes Samuel Butler should on no account the sort of gossip that I pick up on up on the beach of local journalism. to grief between the two, like the be ignored. On that subject of navigator between the Scilly Isles pessimism I recall that he described the beach. I am not allowed to butt If he is capable of recognising that and the Caribbeans that the classics Balfours Foundations of Belief" in on serious politics, or I would east isn't west, or black white, or top allow for interruptions. I was called Which reminds me tell you about.
as "cheap pessimism." He then suggest that China's public men, bottom, I'll convert the dog. DELICACY that glancing through
In passing, a classic has went on:
away for tifin an hour ago. I had North or South, old or young, are all I know not which is ROSSER. At the Peak Hospital, on
Eome notes on ortho-
Nationalism,
olives harvested by Italiane, beef CLASSIC been defined, don't you cheapest, pessimism or optimism. still tarred with the same brush. The
pa 2nd December, to Mr. and Mrs.graphy the other day, by the pious
NATIONALISM triotism, Chauvin- probably from Australians, apples know, as a work. that One forces lights, the otherdarks; both young officials of Canton (which has. Webster, I observed a remarkable
OVERDONE abolished" gambling) play too
ism-there's little from Canadians, claret from the instance of his delicacy of feeling. without taking the trouble to read it equally sure of their effect with the much big poker, reserving, I hear, a things-have been grossly overdone, native of Japan and served by a
everybody may praise are equally untrue to good art, and
to distinguish these French. The meal was cooked by a Because it is more consistent with the I don't know whose it is-sounds like groundlings. The one extenuates, the railway carriage for the purpose. I knew this and felt it long ago, but Chinese, and God (of uo particular Latin origin of the words, he deletes Gilbert Chesterton, or may be Wilde. other sets down in malice. The first public servant who plays high limit I realized it afresh and most vividly nationality they tell me) gave me the the "u" from endings in words like It certainly isn't mine, and probably is the more amiable lie, but both are and you know what that means. War. I agree with Lord Hugh Cecil that, rightly regarded, it wasn't really poker is sometimes in need of money, during the early stages of the World essential contentment withal, So hometr, favour, labour, etc. With wasn't his to begin with. There are lies, and are known to be so by those Then who is the highly placed young that it has become a pest, a fatal an interruption at all, but an argument spells saviour both way, one exception, and only one. He more writers than ideas, and on est who utter them." That'll help you man in Canton who until recently held epidemic, and that the health and in itself. Show me the patriot who
toujours fils de quelqu'un, which (in get the meaning I put on the label seven jobs and drew seven salaries, Frequently when I case you are not polyglottically oueerful pessimist." I only use the CAUSE AND am, not for my plea furnished) is a Frenchified way of word pessimist for want of a better and only parted with some of the jobs sanity of civilization require tie insists on an All Red tuin, and I'll sure or profit, I assure saying there is nothing really new This trick of labelling men, of parcell them? 1 admit this is all gossip oldest instincts, and needs no foster- 18 MY SOUL do that spatel of poetry
when his friends came along to claim strongest sanitary measures to be stand the drinks.
taken against it. It is one of man's you, but for business under the son (fils).
ing views and attitudes into definied
I know as well me you reasons, reading ɛome
Mongolia has a parlia, groups, can be very misleading, Th from the beach, but the gossips are ing. It was a virtue of barbarism, it MONGOLIA ment! Mongolia ! That word "materialist (usually prefixed numerous, and they name names.
which says Breathes strange, upland, desert, by "gross.") is a shocking example.
is a vice and a sin against civiliza- Yesterday fore- tion. If I knew that, and had a hint as to thinly peopled country of nomadic The orthodox creeds are "grossly
It breeds had feelings. I dead, who never to himself hath said, noon the editor suspect that it is often insincere. I this is my own, my native land." I the state of his digestion, I could un- folk, has a parliament. Sixty mem-materialistic," but few seem to notice derstand his mental processes
of the China suspect that "Mere Britisher" is less don't care who said it. If it were bers have been elected. Of these that. However, that's another story. ENGASTRİMYTRE: Mail clearly as if I had watched them only five were princes. The rest Do read Samuel Butler. By way of
sent aa patriot then a business man Holy Writ it would only represent for coolie to working Politics
are frequently were workers. The chairman is a tempting you with a tasty sample, with the following note, marked lowing him the benefit of the granted what was taken for granted me afraid of competition. But al- me the utterance of one man takingfor affected by the gastric processes, and demagogue, and the Vice-chairman bere's one of his sayings. "Life is "urgent", "Dear Editor, To mo doubt, and assuming that he is by all in his time, namely, that such a nearly all philosophy begins there, young revolutionary. When the like playing a violin solo in public and personally your Adversarian is always animated by the wishy-washy senti- sentiment was purely virtuous, Since It was, if my memory is Eskimo demand Home Rule, and the learning the instrument as one goes most amusing when most angry. mentalism that values one bit of God's that time we have had our eyes opened Did I or did I not give
A JEU pot at fault, Zangwill in Tibetans women's suffrage-no. on."
think the enclosed cutting from the dirt more than another bit, I call your to the fact that it isn't. Every o you you a chance last week, D'ESPRIT. a book of essays entitled They've got that-soy, tariff reform,
The same Butler Daily Press should arouse his ire. attention to the feelings it breads in procession has its laggards, and when asking you to favour who first mooted the suggestion that
Without Prejudice then we shall know that civilization
has
this If Please call his attention to it, in case him. He tells the world that 90 per patriots like A Mera Britisher" are fis getting near Alexander's worry, me with any references to my an-a very necessary new society to found that of having no more worlds to
Christianity is to be he should overlook it." The cutting cent. at least of Britishers know that holding back the column of civiliza cestors you might come across in your is a society for the prevention of the conquer.
must penetrats signed "A Mere Britisher," and sure any way possible." Ihasten to tell for us all. reading of history? What a chance to founding of new societies. Those
When a newspaper man's whole life, so that he can no enough it gets my goat,"
These noble, lofty sa the the Americans that that is a lie. So devoted sentiments of theirs exercise your wits, and what a chance word play of that kind. It was in particular essays are crammed with
PASSIM writer begins by more rid himself of it than he can of more Americans say. I consider the far as Hongkong is concerned, I re are equally well expressed in STUPIDITY admitting that his his flesh and bones or of his broathing. writer to be one of those detestable present more than 90 per cent of the familiar formula,"Here's a to add to the sum total of the week's one of them that he said every man confessing that he does not get the and laid down as if it were a watch or like unto a blue-bottle By on a window know that and we do not believe it or him. Because, reason or none, no judgment is weak, and The Christianity that can be taken up engastrimythes whose intellects aro British knowledge here, and we do not stranger. Let's heavo half a brick at fun. Only one reader weighed in-a looks upon life through a capital T, member of the Over cas Club-and be.
hang of things, it must seem like a book is Christianity in name only. Pano, and who talk foolishness na suspect it. In business competition, discerning and honest man can fail to Twould ring the bells rubbing in a real trouble to agree with The true Chriation can no more part easily and as fast as a terrier can trot.in yachting, in all friendly manly admit that love of country in the mass merely asked if the garrulous ass be- VARIORUM of Heaven The wildest him. I have to do it, for one of the from Christ in wirth than in sorrow." The editor of the D.P., reproves the rivalry, yes. We will try to beat you of instauous takes the form of hatred longing to a Biblical farmer 'called Balaam war one of my ancestors. It lot his senses And people came to od to this effect: "I have still to peal for years, If Parson gasbags in Baturday's Telegraph leak-
I showed a most re- creature in lite leader, I see, and calls in those things, and we hope to keep of foreigners, fear of foreigners, is quite evident that although you theirs, And he and they together discover how the laws passed by the
LACK OF grettable lack of him a pre Victorian, which is fairly our end up, but if you boat us at jealousy and envy of foreigners, want this column to be amusing, you Knelt down with angry prayers For League of Nations are proposed to be
PRINCIPLE principle on Thursday severs for the morning paper; but not anything in a fair and open field ill-speaking of foreigners, with will not help to make it so. I have a mischief making writers And men of enforced. None of its champions boarded a tram car coining into town talks like that deserves to be slapped "Mere Britisher" will but he's that breaks out, first in street fights
morning,
when I nearly strong enough. A man who we will not hate you for it jolly good mind to talk seriously and stocks, and shares Who put the last have (sic) quite made that clear. Being still an invalid, I desired a seat over the mouth with a wet haddock unique. He's crazy. Don't mind him, such at have disgraced Hongkong, consequent accumulation of pinpricks heavily to you about the Lumarching things firstly Bechuss nobody cares. The League authority is exactly like in the lower deck saloon. There was not too fresh.
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TEILL.-On October 27, 1921, at
California, Louise, wife of Dr. S. G. Feill, of the London Mission, Tsang Chow, Chibli. GONSALVES.--On November. 27, 1921, at Shanghai, Francisco S. Gonsalves aged 60 years.
The China Mail.
***TZUTA, JUSTICE, PUBLIO HERVICE.
ONGEONO, SATURDAY, Dic 3 1931.
ADVERSARIA,
hypothesis, or to give you a few
columns of notes on the phenomenon
of eodysis as observed in the ferrestrial
60, Des Voeux Road, CENTRAL,
EFFECT.
news-
paper article, I wooder what
are the writer's favourite dishes.
18
here
DEFINED
I fear exceeds thy ort
Thou canst not stamp upen
the mind.
Nor print upon the heart.
Have I ever advised you. SAMUEL to make a point of BUTLER reading "Erewhon"?
BUTLER ON
ị
THE CANTON
A reader suggests that I
GOVERNMENT,
DETESTABLE
But
I fancy the China Mail would recon- sider its unofficial "recognition"
of
"amuse
my righteous indignation we are, and in any case the "the mischievous devil who children of the same Heavenly wrote to my editor about it. I will Father, for I are not like some people be perfectly calm, and dignified, and who pass for orthodox; I don't temperate in my language, and reason believe in more than one Heavooly with this fragment of thickheaded and Father.
INTERVAL
If these
FOR TIFFIN Appear
DEAD?
thoughts
д little dis- connected or incoherent,
there a man with soul so
"QUNITY a living faith, it was a letter to the editor of the D.P., the Americans are out to down us in tion on its march to a worthier lifo
please.
Inasmuch as it is
Who's
and ultimately (when the prejudice.
I am really sorry I missed that of our police, who have the one seat available, but it was occupied. EARLY, Mr. Crook's lecture on strength of the Government, behind by a policeman's dog. I ought to MA Early Man. I am interest them. The League is promised the have stuck up for my human rights, roa EMPHASIS portance that in WISHY WASHY
A DIGRESSION obviously of im- and do you no harm. But vengeance Mr. Crook could make it interesting, the authority
ed in the subject. I know, coldctive and organized strength of and if the policeman had been a
no detail or pat- all its members, priest or a wallow elvallan I probably ticular of this moral reproof should any nothing of a smattering of true sincere, mark you.
wll the would. But I like policeman, and this there be left any room for doubt or religion. Bernard Shaw in all brain
isopoda. It would serve you tight,
is Cot mine, it is the Lord's.
Is there no chance of having the Isn't that enough
tarsol to be an done their mischievous bit) in war. It requires brains truckling journalists have jomed in, and the exorcise and short-sighted, diplomats have
internationalist, to All this where the patriotism is
(Continued on Paya
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