1921-11-26 — Page 4

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MARRIAGE.

THE CHINA MATL

OUR OWN

TIMES

►

Why ricsha wheels go round and

ground

Why soven dollars don't buy

-pound Why time that's lost is never found Or what it is that bounders bound I really cannot say. But I with diligence trath expound. And now. present this argumont

Bound.

·As from a professor well capped and

gowned

There's nothing in Hongkong more

renowned

CHESS

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21,

To`laugh at wasting liquor in a land

that may go dry, The hogshead burst against the

pump, the demijohn it broka And the vicar clapped his gloves and laughed at a strictly private joke. I've passed the place oft; since and

scen

The staves and shards on the edge

o' the green

And the old sign swings on the

blackened wall

Of the in that once was my House

of Call

.

But nover, Sir, once, and I'd scorn,

to lie,

Have I seen that vicar meander by.

That his missus suspected and took

him away..

Which goes to abow, as I've often

said,

1

I am reading just pow PHILOLOGY'S Putnam Weslo/s

AN UNSAFE· "Truth about China.“ duine. and Japan." I hope

the main body of the work will deserve the title better than does some of the preamble. Talking of China 32 centuries ago, the author pictures the people clusterol in tho area Kansu-Shenai-Honan, and goes on: "That their route enstwarda- towards thosea-was barred by forests may be assumed. It is interesting to re- cord that their pictorial character for east' is a sun shining through trees, whilst the word 'obstruction is com- pounded by placing the self-esme tree. in a doorway." The character for

It is said in the village-how true," obstruction" is certainly not evid-

can't say

ence to support the assumption of dense forests between the primeval- Chinese and the scb. He does not say it is, but the suggestion is there. Such "evidence" is too much like the origin that I invented for the author's pen name. When he, was a youth (my fable says) he was talking to a Scotsman, who said: "Laddie, ye have the grand ideas. When ye start writing books, ye'll be puttin' l'em wcel"

Henrietta Mazis, the French King's Molipongs' neck was broken, and his sister) who was with Cromwell when bullying career for ever at an end, he went into parliament. The regular He was a good knight as knights histories do not mention his name, but I went," full of fantastic courtesies he is the man who, when Cromwell towards men and women of his own said "Take away that bauble," took or higher rank (and some of them it away. The bauble is not, so far as were vox tank) but exercising bis 1 can ascertain, still in the possession admitted right to treat all below that of any branch of our family, so he rank with ample scorn and cruelty. probably parted with it. Family

I was born three reigns pride is not anobbish conceit, and to

ago, last century, when show that I am not merely boasting

Queen Victoria bad yot I will mention a tradition existing many years left. My' paternal in our family, of сойтан not grandfather, who died of drink, used authenticated, which suggests how to complain that but for defective

Than Adversaria. really ancient it is. We were there drainage the dear Prince (he meant ber

The Yellow Dragon for before the Conqueror came, and re-consort, Albert) would have been

November quotes Gold- fused to know him when he did. We spared to u I remember him, walk- POETRY, Smith's translation of did not think his Duchess, was a real ing in the grounds at home, and being

the XV century Virgilian Jay, and we did not like William's quite excited and worked up about it. hexameters of Marcus Hieronymus own manners. The tradition is, then, Every time he reached the end of the Vida, describing the moves in chess. that the lady Eve had a love-child by grounds, where the wheelbarrow stood, The last number of the Times Literary the Tempter, and that this infant, he used to kick the wheelbarrow. He Supplement gives what appears to be lusty and exceedingly beautiful male,

Toas a choleric old gentleman. Hea superior rendering by Richard was the founder of our line. There was found dead, with his horse stand-Stanton Lambert. Those interested is, of course, no proof of this,

I give ing over him, smelling strongly of may compare the passages describing it for what it is, a family tradition. Drink, I mean my grandfather, not the Queen's powers, as follows: Those who believe in heredity may the horse. My father was shocked trace a certain influence, a measure of in.o total abstinence, which naturally guilefulness that handicaps me even accounts for my thirst. to-day, just as it handicapped Gregory elder brother, the present Head of our Adversarius, the cadet who sailed House, is quite respectable. He never with Capt. James Cook on his third exceeds except on Saturday, nights, voyage, but was recalled by wireless and always votes right at all electins. to the bedside of his elder brother. He makes me a fair allowance, but and so missed the real excitement not enough, so that I have to work, of that voyage. It was his son (Si-which is rather a comedown for one of Gilbert Adversarius) who was present the Adversariuses. So far as the bistory Ltd. when the first Duke of Wellington at the last four generations goes, I remarked that the Battle of Waterloo need not trouble my readers for help; was won by the scuni of the country we have a wealth of material, extracts on the playing fields of Eton, and told from which I may print in this column him straight what he thought of him. from time to time, but as I said before, "You may be a Duke," he said, "but I would be grateful for any references: you are so gentleman." Wellington hadn't a word to say in reply. It is relating to ancestors farther back. I or allusions, letters or documents, suggested by some historians, on what contemplate b.inging out the Work in. grounds I fail to see, that the Duke sight octavo volumes, exclusive of my. had not heard the remark. Anyway, autobiography, which will take nine In a straight line spreads her des- I like to see that," remarked the chemists and druggists.

DER A. WING & '00.

60, Des Voeux Road, CENTRAL..

CONRAD-MACCARTHY.-- On Nov. 26th at Canton, Alexander Cornelius Conrad to Elɛie MacCanby of San Francisco.

The China Mail.

** TRUTH, JUSTICE, PUBLIC SERVIOS."

ADKORONG, BATUrday, Nov. 26, 1991.

SELL

ADVERSARIA.

The patient sat up straight in bed

and heaved an awful sigh The Saints are blindly cuising on

Exchange)..

And he said; "I'd hate to leave you, if my going brings you

penco

fools you aim to fleece

I cannot leave the Colony without

ite-Moral Police

more,

4

OUR ARMS.

But my

he had no excuse to offer, and (like additional volunies, and he sold the Daily Press) be offered none.

separately if desired. The pics for I don't suppose my the complete set of seventeen volumes Hongkong readers, being cannot, owing to the present disturbed mostly common folk of state of the printing trade, be definite the lower orders, underly stated in advance, but subscribers stand much heraldry, but for the remitting to me sums of not less than sake of the China Mail subscribers $30 will assuredly have their orders in the House of Lords and elsewhere booked, in strict rotation. I must mention our family arms. It! is worth noting that, as titles and appended initials are to-day, so emblazoned shields in those old days were designed to be "recognized in the press." The Adversarius Arms are gules with a fesse and three blind mice or impaled dexter and a tumbler couchant sinister azure with as sup porters two workhouses rampant and the motto “l'ui soif toujours.” Our crest was a cocktail.

ASSAULT

A fair illustration of the family guilefulness men- AT ARMS. tioned earlier is to bel

found in Sir Steven

After announcing NORTHCLIFFE. that" no such mess- age was sent to The Times," and offering to prove it, Lard Northcliffe now says it was sent, but it wasn't, his opinions; it was a quotation of Dr. Wu's opinions.

When I think that in the first flight

of successful journalists, as the world

esteerd's success, I am to number Lord Northcliffe and Mr. Bottomley, I have to lay down my pen and resist the temptation to write more about. that.

KOWLOON'S

Vida-

At regina furens animis pars optima

belli

In frontem, in terga, ac dextram,

laevamque movetur,

Itque iter .bliquum, sed semper

tramite recto Procedit; neque enim curvato insur-

gere saltu

Cornipedum de more licet. Non

terminus olli;

Nec cursus meta ulla datur, quocum

quedibido Impulerit, licet ire, modo ne ex ordine

quisquam Hostilive suave aditus occludat eunti.,

Goldsmith

But the fierce Queen, whom dangers

ne'er dismay,

The strength and terror of the bloody

day,

truction wide

To left or right, before, behind, aside. Yet ray she never with a circling

course

Sweep to the battle like the fretful

Horse;

But unconfined may at her pleasure

stray,

If neither friend nor foe block up the

way;

Mr. Lambert- But the fairest dower of war, the

Queen with warrior heart, May rush to the front, to the rear, to

the flank, or suddenly dart

Slantwise into the fray; so long as she the straight nor tries to attack

faithfully keeps

crooked circular leaps.

To

by

Her

By

limit of aim or length. whithersoever her mind

For

As in the way of a Knight.

course is never confined

Urges, there may she go, so long

the path ia free,

Surely there Deed be no further argu- DANCER ZONE, mont about dis-Nor

continuing the use

ANGELS.

as

blocked by one of her subjects or by an enemy.

YOU, ME

AND

THE GATEPOST

FOL

No, mind ye, that I'm wanting to find faut wi' the bairns for the sake o' finding

That without a drink you're as well

in bed.

And the man who'd refuse good

beer or wine.

Has got no claim to be friend

mine.

Whot, Sir? Another? Fore we

tackle the hill?

I know a gent at sight, Sir and

thanks! I will.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW.

}

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

Cavaliere Petrucci is "recognized"

A representative of the China Mail had a briet conversation with Sherlock Holmes as Italian Consul. last night on the steps of the Hong- kong Hotel. The great detective was looking well; his attenuated form was enveloped in the well-known ulster. and be still wore the deerstalker cap One lot of Crown land at Mount which bis assured position enables him Davis is advertised for sale on Morday to wear without being mistaken for afternoon.

Keir Hardie. While standing there,

No stamp duty on interest coupons, says the Gazette.

talking to a Daily Press reporter. & Co., is added to the register of

Mr. Holmés noticed Lord Northcliffe · Mr. Daniel Wilson, of A.S. Watson

Volunteer officers resigned but retaining rank may wear their uniforms on suitable occasions, says Winston Churchill.

Yesterday afternoon the jury agreed that the ginger merchant, Yuro lu, was not guilty of uttering a forged bank note.

Master of Inference. "I gather, from the fact that you are interviewing me, instead of him, that your editor, annoyed with Northcliffe's recent be haviour, ordered you to iguore him this time. It is true he did not play the game when he allowed his false denial of the Canton telegram to convey the impression that Hongkong newspapermen are purveyors of false news, and I deduce, therefor, that the Daily Press is setting you an example The China Merchant S N, Coy's. of Christian meekness, turning the now steamer "Hain Wah" (1358 tons) other cheek, forgiving enemies, and so arrived to-day under the command of " forth." Our representative begged Captain A. P. Sangster. She brought. Mr. Holmes for a more typical exhi-1,000 tons of cargo. bition of his powers, and be graciously

returned from Macao, where he lost no have just arrived from Europe for the agraud. "I see that his Lordship basjust. A few of the 8,000" toys, which

money at fantan, and that he is rather Society of St. Vincent de Paul's 38th bucked with the idea of being enter-annual bazaar on December 4, are tained by the Singapore Governor, and on view in Messrs Komor and Komor's not at all unwilling that the Hongkong windows and at the Star Ferry wharf, Governor should know it." "Won- Hongkong. In addition to the usual. derful," said our representative. "Now raffle stalls there will be a toy basear. tell us please, how it was done." Mr.

Holmes laughed. "Ab, no," he said, The sum of £360,15.2 has been: "that's Watson's job. Ask him.” sent to Sir Arthur Pearson as a Someone has sent Christmas gift to the blinded Sailors SHOULD FIVIL me a cutting, title and Soldiers at St, St. Dunstan's. Thie SERVANTS BE of paper not men-is the total result of the recent

CTVIL?

tioned, but I guess Bridge Tournament and appeal fron typographical organised by Mrs. E. J. Grant Smith

and Mrs. Roberts.

I

The Elephants" of H. M. S "Colombo" gave their second concert':

119

ou' the

| Adversarius (1372) a knight who wOD his spurs from La Tour Landry at dice. The loser did not want them of the King's Park ifle range as a any more, as he was going to be a rifle range? After what has happen- monk in order to get away from his ed, after far less than has happened, Lady who scolded him in company. and after the "regulars" have them

This," he told my ancestor, "she selves abandoned it as dangerous to shall have for her euelle and gret the public, it would be the craziest faut, and I'd be the first to admit indications 'twas cut from the language, that she was wont to sate to criminality for the auxiliary riflemen that Bucclaire" for the French Observer. It deals with recent attacks me, therfor ye wiff aught to suffre to carry on there. Is there some writer would verra likely be a printer's hints that but for the habit and tradi- Theatre Royal on Thursday, Decem on Civil Servante at Home, and A concert will be given in the and lete her husbonde have the talk of this? Ciap all the volunteer slip, that ony proofreader could ower wordes, and to be maister, for that is officers in the lunatic asylum until look, but shairly a paper that has a tion of reticence they could answer ber 8, at 9.15 p.m., by Dr. Daniel her worshippe, even though for a they, recover their sense.

*Librarian" writing regularly for't, effectively. Sample retort suggested: Onderwijzer, the Amsterdam Royal generasḥioun ye little Padre, have

England in reeking with proud and Dutch Opera baritone, assisted by Mrs. I am very sorry to see and enough literary gumpshin to guess self-sufficient business incompe once." omitted from ye marridge service ye

Aubrey Bowes Smith (soprano) and H that Truth, journal that the initiala "A.B.W." in The worde obey; for it is shame to here

Mr. Harry Ore (piano.) The pro- striff batwene hem, and in cepeciall

for which I have some Times "probably veil the identity of There's a lot in that.

In the much-talked-of novel

gramme will include English, French, before folke." Whereupon Stephen admiration, had on Oct. 12 a jeering Mr. A. B. Wakeley," forby that

DO "Main Street, occur those

Italian and Dutch songs, also selec.. tossed him for his horse, and won article about the "news" item which should be Walkley, micht be expeckit

YOUR words: There's one at tions from well-known operas. And leaves quite undefended the that too. Having afterwarde the Daily Press reproduced on Tues-no' to refairr five several times, in a

BIT tack you can make on it quarrel with a crusader called De day of this week. I mean the story thirty line piece about that great

[entrenched prejudice and Molipongs, they got up a list not a of how an angel came to the Rev. Mr. short storyist O. Henry, including subscription list, but the kind you Elliott and his wife, and personally the big letter headline and s,' to "emugness, perhaps the only kind that You talk of dying, dyou; I'll read about in "Ivanhoe," in which conducted them through Brighton to Henry," as if he were a Mick. accomplishes much anywhere. You

tay living for a change!" knights wearing half. a ton of a doctor who advised theas that the "Lovers of O' Henry," if the Tele- can keep on looking at one thing after at the Theatre Royal last night: The Saints have hung their golden armour plate overloaded their angel was right in saying that a graph'll take ma word for't, are no another in your home and church and Again the audience was discouraging; laid down the law that it had to be enjoyable evening. Perhaps harps upon their hooks once horses and barged at each other certain operation would prove fatal.ower weel pleased to see their idol's bank, and ask why it is, and who first but those who did attend spent

with long spears.

The Duchess It was rather funny that a Rector pen name so sairly mishandled.

that way. If enough of us do this the most pouplar item And their halos, slightly premature, of the ducal master of ceremonies should require an angel's word to be

**Paterfamilias" impolitely enough, then we'll become programme was Kay with his It helps to prove what are hung behind the door, (who performed a function like that confirmed by a human medical man,

(her)"Beauty" chorus. An extra. aska me if I civilized in merely 20,000 years or so, WHAT A I'm always saying about For they know he'll blast their discharged by Mr. Logan in the but the Rector's want of faith was no

ELOQUTIONERS know of a piece instead of having to wait the 200,000 turn was a fairy dance by Kay which burian Conceit. I really high finance as he's always done modern trial by combat) observed worse than Truth's scepticism. Truth

suitable for re- years that my cynical anthropologist had to give an encore turn before the was enthusiastically applauded. Ho. was ill, and it was some

before.

that Sir Stephen was a comely kaight, does not seem to think it possible that citation at a party by his little girl, I friends allow... The Uplifter mitigation to dwell on how awfully Bending Crcesus to the crupper, and gave him a bit of ribbon to wear an angel, bright and shining in ap do not, but rather than have the wee who is very popular with wealthy audience was satisfied. Mr. Glanville I'd be missed. I haven't got to re- 'spite the Saints of the Ex for luck. The Duke also was affable, pearance, dressed in white, and wear maid disappointed, I've grabbed a patrous can be pretty sure that he and Mr. Collier sang well, while the turn thanks this week for the num change!

and wished him a swift death, for De ing sandals," could walk with a paraun petcil and made one for her. It is has softened his philosophy to please comic part was in the able hands of

·erous anxious enquiries, by telephone,

Hunting and Brewer. The alotch Our family, the Ad- Molipongs was twice bis weight, had from Brighton railwaystation to the entitled "As through a glass darkly," them." chit. and post, because they didn't

"The Impostors," staged by "Light versariuses, is a very a longer reach, and a faster horse, hotel. That is scepticism run mad and it goes like this:

I thoroughly agree with come in. Only one thing comme-this

ning" Jones, was also well received. more like a racer than the brewery. I have known an angel walk much

PROPRIETY the protest that a poom following-and even that

writing a history of it, dray creature my ancestor owned. further than that. The angel I saw

correspondent had in misrepresents mo na a Moral Police and the concluding volume will be Auon the trumpet sounded, the flag on Mount Parker last year flew, after

Thursday's China Mail, about certain man and a frustrater of Finance, my autobiography, the history of fell, the starting gate ros, and they talking to me, so that I cannot testify

forms of humour in the "Social Swim" which I aint. However, "Keith West" me, Hilaire Parchemin Adversarius, were off. Stephon's lance hit Do to any angelic walking prowess in

notes. Like the protestant, I am not took the trouble to write it and send although I am a younger son. Mean Meliponge shield, and broke off short, Hongkong; but in England one sum-

squeamish where the thing is done in it in, so you ought to have it. Here while, I shall be grateful for notes leaving him with about seven feet of mer I walked for eleven miles with

a certain way. It is difficult to it is: "To Adverarius Siek.-" · from readers who may come across broomstick, Luckily, having thought an angel,

explain, but there is a proper sort of impropriety, which appeals to quite Inquiries made at the offices of the nice people, and a clumsy, unrefined B. A. T. Coy, this morning disclosed kind which must simply disgust them that there was no truth in the report As an example, I am quite that another European had been sure the writer of the lett r will enjoy, captured by bandi' up the North, as I do, this story from a recently River, but a Chinese employee, it was published book. Even in plain ascertained, is being buld for ransom, English it could pass It appears that on November 16 a An elderly Frenchman, Comte B.AT. party was going up the river Joseph de Noailles, was a friend of near Taiwan when they were hold up Lady Duffecio, and once he forgot his by robbers who demanded a some oloak at her house. The old gentle of money. They were given man wrote a note to Lady Dufferin, $100 odd which was all the money signed Joseph de Noailles, in which he the party had with them but, being asked that the cloak might be sent still dissatisfied, they toole away a back by bearer. He got his oloak and Chinese employee and said they with it the message Monsieur, would hold him for lorsqu'on le inmalheur de s'appeler It is expected that the ralcase of Joseph, on ne laisse pas son manteau the captured man, will be securode

without much dificulty

+

The bucksters gathered round, that

would sell a man a pup

HELP

WANTED. ancient

I 008.

am

A butterfly went fitting where a

Public House afire

Lighted up the evening sky and

made it look lots higher. And the Vicar coming home that

way said "Deary, deary mo It is not often I see flames before

I've had my tea."

The good man walked up closer and

put his pince-nez un

And saw a hogshead rolling out and

then a demijohn.

The Sarcastic Bloke had gone to references to my ancestors in their fully ducked at the moment; his Even in Hongkong I have seen an

bed.

historical readings. Our actual family opponent's spear missed. They angel walking down the staircase With a pain in his back and a cold records do not go farther back than returned to the starting flag, for the of the Hotel, where, as everybody

in his head,

...the Osrio (or Cedric) Adversarius who rulos were best out of three, knows, there are comfortable liits. 1 And h's enemies thought him as died of miscarriage of justice on and no change of weapon allowed. cannot understand people not be

good as dead-

Carlisle Wall in 1787. That was & Things looked pretty bad for lieving in angels. The thing that (Sing ye joyful Allelujabs to the sad case, Cedric (or Daric) being Stephen, but he kept his wits at puzzles me is that the Rev. Mr. Baints of the Exchange.) hanged and quartered before the work. In the second chukker he Elliott says his was a male angel judge discovered that the parties he used his broken spear like a polo How could he fell 1 They all had robbed and killed were Scots. wallet, and slipping down one side of dress alike, and the males don't have His son Chilperio in life journal the saddle as they met, he swiped Demoustaches or bearda or whiskers. rupeatedly names him Dare, but Molipong's horse across the legs. I must confess the Rector has me tho genealogical table gives him as Horse and rider came down like a puzzled there. Cedrio. It doesn't really matter, Hongkong brick building aftor the perlisps, but I like to have all my rains, Stephen, leaping lightly from date right, and grudge no pains, to his horse (as well as half a ton of geb it so. For instance, I would like armour plate would allow rushed to to know whether it was the the hand bis rccumbent enemy, and put his of the familysor Captain Hiking Ad- foot on his neck. There was no need, following are not pure nonsense. They. It isn't for the aromen or any versarius (he who had the affair with however, for the coo-de-grams.

(That sit them down to blood and brains where'er they wish to sup, And the sweat of working women

fills their golden loving-cup- Ob, sing ye Allelujah to the Saints

of the Exobange}}

;

They gave a most religious look

and winked a wicked, yo

**I'm very sorry that he's lil, but

he quite deserved to die"

Submitted by a un NONBENGDiversity student as

nonsense thymes,"

that the

HEYNES.

The firebrigade was busy and lacked

the time to pry Into the cause of twinkles now in

the clerical eye. But I'm sure if I had had the time, and of course a corkscrew too, I'd have shown the firemen what was false, the vicar what was the For the butterfly had shown nos as it flittered through the smoke That a public house, that catches fire in the proper plaro to soak

PROPER

'cher une claimė,

CAPTURED BA,T, MAN..

NOT A EUROPEAN,

1..

ranson