1911-05-06 — Page 5

SATURDAY, MAY 6, 1911.

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THE CHINA MAIL.

SCOTSMEN AND HUM UE.

By Harry Lander,

Next to Irishman, mothers-in-law, and parrots, I consider that the Scotsman le the most "sinued against "pamon in the world; that is to say, to him are attributed more shortcomings in character and more undesirable characteristics than to any other member of civilised--or uncivilined, if you wish is-society,

For instance, frm time immemorial Kalimat eraty "partiendly insane rs mark has boon critod to the

Irishman; a crise netur has existe,

in the mind of the imaginativo, that a -mother-in-law has not committed; tharo is 'not a swear word, kotording to the average man in the street, in every inngangu; from Kanischutkan down to "Billagegate" that a parrot has not ittered; while a joke has TEL. No, K120. Tolg. address "Tenxornover yet been made that, according to the majority of wities of national character, a For Partionlare apply to

Scotsman has not failed to son,

Still, there it is! I am afraid that my countrymen have no legal redress; but all

THE MANAGER.

Hongkong, March 1, 1911.

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Hongkong, January 3, 1911.

For instance, in north country audiences in Angland have, on innumerable occasione, heard many member of the audiobos"" "Isugh at a joke quite two minutes after, it has been made, Still, apparently, their appreciation has, been none the less keen and that's the main thing, for I honestly belive that the joke which siuke in slowly is bo gather more appreciated, and is really responsible for far more of the real joy of laughter than humour which is seen at once, and is quickly dismissed with a hasty laugh of the "ha ba 1 that's very funny bat have you heard order, which in

practically only an excuse to change the

subject.

In Seatland I have' often met 'Scotamon who, in the midst of a conversation on quite different wohjeet, "have suddenly commenced to chortle unostentatiously and quietly to themselves and on asking them what on earth they are, laughing at, the reply has been, “merely at a little story I was cold, at week." I can, however, not recall a single instince in Engined the same, I am strongly of the opinion of meeting people who have been so that one of the greatest libela over cir.“ tickled" byta god "joke, as to be able culated is the widespread report that to enjoy it quite as much a week after- *Scotsmen have un sense of humour at warda sa at the time they first heard i

No, ballero me—if you never believe anybody sles again—it is hopelemly wicked- | ly, uncharitably, untrue to accuse my countrymen of not being able to nos a joke. There is not even a suspicion of truth in the charge; in fact, a plend "not guilty."

ail."

Now, "I grant you that the sense of hemour of the avenge. Sootsman máy possibly not be quite so impulsively quick as that of the neighbour's across the border, but the fast must never be lost | sight of that many people have so rapid a senso of the ridiculous that it may almost bo said to be "anticipatory. In fact, some nimble-brained individuals frequently 300 a joke before the actual mirth-pravok ing point is reached. But is this advantage? Generally speaking, I am inclined to think it is not, in that good jokes and stories are frequently, from other people's pelat.of view, made to fall 1 fint as a pancake by what ear. I think be most aptly described as "the

VICTORIA HOUSE anticipatory laugh."

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Again, the quality of much of the so called humour which makes some people ENTRALLY Simated Up-To-Date hold their sides with merriment is; to say Boarding House. Recently renovated the least of it, of a most inferior order, and under entirely now management. Large and Comfortable Rooms and Excellent and, from time to time, I have bees com- Table. Hot and Cold Baths. Electricpelled to listen to stories which have been Light thringhout. Terms Moderate.

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MANAGER. Hongkong. October 2, 1908

136

Hemoar, surely, is merely a question of point of view, and joke which some people may think excruciatingly funny, will not appeal in the slightest degree to the sense of the ridiculous of others. And there lies the explanation of the contention that Scotsmen do not possess an atom of humour in their composition, for it is because they have refused to see meris and | mith where is does not exist that this libellous statement has as the gossips say, "got about."

By the way, it has been said that the majority of Scotsmen "joke wi'decficulty". in a great measure because their sense of humour has been warped through excessĪTO indulgence in the wine of Scotland. In fing, while other nations want their due, all that Scutsmen require is their Mount

ain Dew, would seem to be a litly

an entirely devoid of any merit at all that accurate stimate of the populat impresion

the perpetrators thereof ought to have of my countrymen's ability as concealers of buen hung, drown and quartored on the liquid refreshment.

Now I will not go so far as to my pot. Unfortunately however, there is vo

that Scotsman as nation are excess- legal penalty attached to the telling vf ♣

the ively enthusiastic in

of

مختابات

TYPHOON SIGNALS.

STORM-WARNINGS ISSUED. FROM THE HONGKONG

OBSERVATORY.

The following Typhoon signals are holat- ed on the mast in front of the Water Police Station, Kowloon, the Harbour Office, the Kowloos Godowns, M.8. amar, and Green Island signal mast.

A CONE

point upwards

A CONE paint upwarda and DRUM below

DBCH

A CONE paint down- wards and DRUM below

A CONTS point down- warda

'A CONE point dowo- wards anc BALL below

A BALL

"A CONE point upwards. and BALL below

indicate a Typhom to the North of the Oolony,

indientes Typhoon

to the North-East of the Colony,

Typhoon

indicates to the Earl of the Colony

indicates a Typhoon

to the South-Eat of

the Colony.

indientes Typhoon

Colony.

PRINTING

PRINTING

PRINTING

Artistic Printing

Book Binding

Done with NeAZZOLO AX

Despatch

At Moderate Prioni

to the South of the Programmes

Indicates a Typhoca to the South-West of: the Colony.

indicates a Typhoca to the West of the Calory.

indicates a Typhoon

to the North-West of the Colony,

Red Signals indicate that the contro. is

believed to be more than 300 miles away

from the Colony.

Mack Signals indica e that the centre is believed to be loss than 300 miles away

The above signals will, aa heretofore, be hoisted only when typhoons exist in such

funeral story of this sort, and so many teetotalism, but I do say the consumption from the Colony, people are, to-day, at large who ought of whisky has had an infuence, beneficial, without a doubt, to be enjoying the brightening, or otherwise on their sense. delights of hoon residences which bla of humour. Indeed, as I write, I can Majesty so thoughtfully provides for his think of a number of quite illuminating positions or are moving in such directions abjects entirely free of charge.

examples of Scotch humour which go to that information regarding them is cot- prove that the Caoay Scot "in his cups" is by no means incapable of giving vent to sidered to be of importance to the Colony mirth-provoking remarks.

But would a Scotsman lower himself by wasting valuable breath and straining the muscles of his throat by laughing at such wit? Not be; neither would a Scots woman. And by refusing to become s party to foul deeds—s „bad juka, is every bit as unpleasant in its far-reaching con- sequences as a bad egg, always excluding Election args they show themselves possessed, at any rate, of good taste.In fion, the average Scotsman, who, in con- demned in o wholesale A manner as being deficient in the Laughing organs, very frequently refuses to abandon himself to merriment because he rightly considers the circumstances do not justify indulgence in laughter at all, And, after all, why, oh why, should oy of us smile a smile" at a bad jake We are positively rude to those who give us bad wines or spirits is there any, KINGSCLERE' reason, therefore, why we should encourage

those who give us bad humour

-

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121

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NOTICE

Communications relating to news should be addressed to THE EDITO

their

Correspondente must forward tions addressed to the Editor. not for names and addresses with any communica publication but as evidence of good faith.

For instaner, I like the story of the over- sealous host trying to thrust just one more "nightcap on his would-be departing Just another wee drap fore you guest.

he said.

I'll tak ne mair') I'm in a now lodgin, and I'm po vara well acquainted the stair!"

or to shipping leaving the barbour.

ORDEST BIOXAIS,"

In addition to the ahora, when it is expected that the wind may increase to fall typhoon force at any moment, the In this example of what, cat perhaps

following Urgent Signala will be made şk best be called "the humour of the Sent his cups" you

will notice that the raply of the Water Police Station, and repeated

TEREZ EXPLOSIVE BOMER AT INTERVALA

OF TEN. SECONDS.

"A. Black Cross will be hoisted at the

same time, superior to the other shapes.

ye bibulous one is quite sensible, and very much, to the pole, which, if there is at the Harbour Office:- 407 truth in the time-honoured statement that a man shows his true character under the influence of intoxicants; goes to profe, I think that at least earnestness is a strik ing trait in the Scotsman's attitude.

However, space prevents me from going into, in further detail, the many misleading accusations made against my countryman'a sense of humour. And, after all, what do they really matter? Your Scotsman can

The fallowing Night Signals will bu arly afford to overlook the many charges which are made from time to time shout hoisted from the Flagstaff on the roof of rect in Sydney Smith's dictum, That it the Water Police Station at Kowloon, the takes a surgical operation to get a joke into Harbour Office Flagstaff, and HL.M.5. a Bootsman's hand !**

Tamar.

him of which certainly not the least incor-

NOTICE

I will give you a case which came under PPROACHED from Kennedy Rosa my notice not long ago, a case, by the way,

and Macdonnell Road,

which I think clearly proves the par- sense of humour. An Englishman and a- ticularly exacting stare of the Bootle

Sooleman were taking a walking tour together in Argilahiro. One day, altor boat manfared to Mors Orraz

17E-bog to notify that Ma OISHI L walking a fow miles they lost their way, and Me Y. SHIBUYA will take charge and were pulled up short by a siga-post, on the finger of which a way had written Those who can't read enquire at the oottage opposita."[

AB.O. Codo 4th Ed Electric light, hot and cold water through. out. Billiards, ennis, croquet, putting green and, fina stabling for horses.

Proprietress, Mas F. SACHSE. Hongkong, September 1, 1908. 1908

HONGKONG MOTOR

GARRAGE.

MOTOR CARS

FOR HIRE

4, 5′′ or 6 Seats

All lotters for publication should be 1st Hour. written on one side of the paper only. ***

that has already appeared in any other paper 2nd will be inserted,

3rd

No xayronaly nigred communication

Letters relating to businem should be addressed to THE SECRETARY.

Orders for extra copies of the "CENTA Man should be sent as soon as possible as the supply is limited, Cash 10 ct. Credit 20 cte, per copy.

Alterations and additions to Advertise mente en Pages 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 and 9 should be sent to the Omos, No. 5, Wynd kam Street, not later than 11 sm.

Altamations and additions to Advertiso meats on pages 1, 6, 7 and 10 should bo sont jus not later than Lp.my/

2 or 3 Seats

1st Hour:

2nd

The Englishman read the notice, and shook with lughter therant. The Scots- man, however merely puckered his brow, and said quietly' ** Eb, maanie, but I canna sep anything in it!"---

The Englishman said nothing in reply, and the tramp was, continued, in the middle of the night, however, he was surprised to hear a knock at his door, and ́on indignantly shouting out to know why he was being disturbed in this way, bo was intanacly amused to hear his Bestek friend BAYCAN Bee it. noo t'folk at the $5.00 cottage might have been 'oot."

* Hu English friend was so struck with 4.00 the Scotsman's mental pertinacity" ín thrasing out what to him was a knotty point that he immediately jumped out of 3.75 Fed, and explained where the point of the

joke actually came in.

The Soutaman listened in silpocs and having been entrusted with the correct solution of this mírth-provoking incident, marnly replied saatentiously, The road $4.00 that wrote that must have took me for a 166) as well as you but you see there was 2.00 only one of us, and that was unhap " What struck my Scotor friend' about the

| igoldent most strongly was that anyone

could have been so insang sa ko gri

Now Advertisements hould be sent in 68, Des Voeur Road Centraich a stupid notica. and who wil dare

before 3pm PEE

Advertisements and Subscriptions which

SPECIAL CARS by arrangement at the are not ordered for fixed period will be Dragon Cycle Depot

Company's Office, ALLEANDES BUILDINGs, continued until counter minded

De You Road Central

Telephone No. 482-

JOHN D EUMPHREYS & SOM;

Heeral Managers.""

Telegraphie Addrom Matt Hongkong) Telephone No. 22

TRE CARA MAIL LAD

Hongkong, Janinarý 18-1911-

"

t NIGHT SIGNALS,

L. Three Lights Vertical, Green, Green Green-indicates that-a-typhoon is believed

to be situated more than 300 miles from

tas Colony.

of tas Local Office of the Company as IL Three Lights Vertical, Green, Bed | MANAGER from this, dite,

MUSU BISHI GOSHI-EWAISHA: Hongkong, April SV, 1921.

1 EN TING

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Green, indicates that a typhoon is believed he Wife af

to be toated less than 300 miles fecos the Colony, N

III. Three Lights Vertical, Red, Green Red, indiestes that, the wind - may be expected to increase-to full typhoon force at say moment,

No, III Signal will be accompanied by? the Explosive Bamba, as above, in the event of the information conveyed by this signal being first published by night..

The Night Biguals will be substituted for the Day Signals at sunset, and will, when. ncosssary, be altered during the night.

.

KUFRE,EMENTARY WARNINGSS).

For the benefit of Native Craft and passing Ocean. Vansol, Cons will be ezhibited at each of the following stationa dering the time that any of the above Day

The Overland China Mail Bignals are hosted in the Harbour.

Gap Rock

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REPORTS

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LATEST INTELLIGENCE,

my that, in taking up this point of tie Order below, you leave so you may receive

ho was wron

BWriting of a seans of humour recalls to

my mind that Thaye' often resmiked that the farth

Britain

is the samen of the ridionlonSSNE

It while at Hom

Price: 814 por annum including: postage.

Aberdeen San Li Wan, Bai Kaby She TAU Foi. Tai Po

This will indicate that there is a depres. sion somewhace in the Chios flea, and that a Storm Warning i holated in the Farbour..

Further details van piyaya be given to Ocean Vessels, on demand, by signal, from. the leht houss8.

coxz-zan cedar, like one, blow of

hammer on the head of the mall, maki

an finpemilon, but is is only

Linares fossation, of the

like the continson

hand of the nail, that defros

izzant hoone and clinches

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