1981-01-08

WAH KIU YAT PO

報日僑華

From the above example, you can see that it is very dangerous for you to commit these essays to memory,

買二第張六第

日三初月二十年申庚腾夏

1981

英文

+9=USo what I'm giving you today are “sample”

(十四)

立基出版社到浩濂提供資料

ENGLISH [14]

Stephen Lau (Foundation Press);

Dear Students,

· Today I'm giving you something which, I know, many of you are expecting for days, Or so it seems.

You may be delighted when you glance over this column, thinking that I've shown you a number of model essays. But if you take a serious look at later paragraphs, you'll dis- cover that you've been on the wrong track.

I've said in ENGLISH [11] that “model” essays are something which you must be be- ware of, what with their lack of suitability to all possible essay topics, and their very varied and unstable standards. Let me show you an example and you'll understand why examiners are so wary of these so-called “model” essays. The other day I was shown a few "model" essays. One of them, on the topic of choosing between a well-paid job and going to a univer- sity to study, begins thus:

Nowadays, in Hong Kong, able to enter a university, is commonly considered as a stepping --stone, to success. But, if I am, asked to choose be- tween a well-paid job and going to a university to study, I will be at a loss. After careful-consideration,

to study.

I would prefer going to a university heen treated as

Studying in a university .....

..has

a traming of logical thinking, reasoning.so that Having more knowledge and a critical mind, it is likely that one is more adaptable to one's environment As a result, not only is the individual weil-in- formed, but also he has fostered a sense of alertness and awareness of the world affairs.

At that time I nearly couldn't believe my eyes. As a practice ironically, let's consider each numbered mistake one by one..

1. This is a typical example of translating directly but incorrectly, Chinese into English. To remedy it, to be should be inserted before able to, ie. to be able to enter a university is commonly

* So when you are using English, please don't think in Chinese, try to think in English and you'll have a smaller chance of making the sort of mistake pointed out above.

It is unidiomatic to say something is con- sidered as something something. Instead you should omit as Some writers would like to place to be after considered, ie, to use this sentence as an example, to be able to enter a university is commonly considered to be) a stepping stone to

success.

3. This comma is not at all desirable. Putting a comma here will leave the readers puz- zled why there is such an abrupt change in tone. Very strange.

This sentence is a little incoherent with the preceding one. Instead a but put before After will do nicely the job of con- necting the two sentences in a gradual development of idea, mind you, counce. tives are important for making sentences or paragraphs coherent.

I see no reason why an and should not be placed between thinking and reasoning. If there are two things mentioned together, an and is needed; however, if there are more than two things or names in a list, e.g. Peter, Paul and Mary, a comma will be used between the members in the list except the last two. (Whether to put a comma before and is a matter of style, with British usage preferring no commas. in this case.)

This is the sort of error which is only too. common. I think I've pointed out a similar mistake in ENGLISH [5]. This sentence can be rewritten as follows:

Having more knowledge and a critical mind, one is likely to be more adaptable to one's environment:

7. This is a construction which need some discussion. When you are using not only but also, see to it that you are com- paring two corresponding things, eg. It is incorrect to say.

*This project is well done not only in terms of its comprehensiveness but also its reliability.

There can be two ways of correcting it:

(1) This project is well done not only in terms of its comprehensiveness but also in terms of its reliability. (2) This project is well done in terms not only of its comprehensiveness but also of its reliability. Note the positions of not only and but also, the second example put in terms out of the "bracket?”, Le, in terms (of its cont- 'prehensiveness, of its reliability). Returning to our centre of discussion, the first part of the sentence is correct, ie. inversion of the. subject and verb is needed after not only, but the second part is doubtful. It would be commoner to omit also, or, if included, put it after he,

Le, not only is the individual well-inform-

ed, but he has fostered, or not only is the individual well-inform- ed, but he also has fostered.in

To Insist on putting also there is pedantic or strange.

or "specimen" essays, in the sense that they are essays which are written by genuine fifth- formers and which have been corrected of their mistakes. 1 think it is somewhat pointless to show you essays written by adult teachers and assume that you can follow them; it would only dread the weaker students, if anything. and engrave on their minds their felt hopeless- ness and weakness, undermining their con- fidence. It would be more worthwhile, how- ever, to bring out these sample essays and discuss together their merits and demerits, thus learning from others' mistakes. And you can see that the examiners are not expecting ideal essays from candidates, considering these poor little teenagers fear and pressure during the examination.

Let us hope that these analysed essays would do you some good in promoting your building up a critical and analytical mind towards not only essays but also life.

SAMPLE 1

If you had the chance of going to a university to study, would you prefer to go to a univer sity in Hong Kong or to one abroad? Why?

I would like to attend a local university if I had the chance.

Why I do not want to go abroad to have my university education is due not to a mere subjective fondness of conservatism, far from that, but to a sense of belonging in connection with my family, relatives, friends and the place in which I am living.

My mother has an exceptional fondness of her children; every time I mention the ads vantages or the possibility of my going abroad in case I cannot find a seat in a local university, she becomes upset and her eyes seem to show a sentimental request of my not leaving her, which I can never resist. Indeed, I cannot even imagine what her response will be if I mention the same thing to her again, an

It is difficult, on the other hand, to get into a good university in foreign countries. To study in an average university abroad is no better than studying in a local university.

Since my family is not well-off, the finan- cial problem, if I go abroad, will be a heavy burden on the shoulders of my father whose salary is the only source of income in my family of five. I just cannot imagine what my family will look like if most of the money that supports the whole family is to be spent on my education abroad. It will be very unfair on my brother and sister, Paftore fo

To live alone in a foreign country the cultural background and customs of which are quite different from mine is no easy task. I have to spend a long time in order to get accustomed to an environment which is com pletely new to me. And during that period I may not be able to work as well as I wish to, and this will hamper my study. But all these will not happen if I stay in Hong Kong.

Comments

1. The essay of this fifth former shows that he has a good command of English, except that the language used seems to be a bit unnatural and at times long-winded. (He has made 4 grammatical mistakes which, of course, have been corrected here.)

2. This is the style which I won't recommend you to imitate. You see, long sentences are liable to mistakes.

3. The writer made it clear in the first sen- tence that he preferred to attend a local university. In this way, he answered the first question in the topic directly, which won't leave his readers to puzzle what his preference will be after they have read the whole essay. Some students actually made no attempt to show their preference and just strayed away from the topic – so please don't make the same mistake "the" next time when you meet with a topic which is in question form.

4. It seems that if the fourth and fifth para- graphs are interchanged, the development of idea will be more logical: from family problems to academic and cultural prob- lems. This shows that the planning is inadequate, and will surely lower his score in ORGANISATION.

The following structures and usages are worth learning

a mere subjective fondness of.

far from that

a sense of belonging

find a seat in a local university. (used

figuratively)

a sentimental request

no better than

well-off

a heavy burden on the shoulders of

only source of income

no easy taskuj

to get accustomed to an environment

which is completely new to me work as well as I wish to

SAMPLE 2 Describe any fishing expedition in which you have taken part or about which you know.

I was sitting in a boat enjoying the morning look of Nature as we, a total of six, went on a fishing expedition. The air was refreshing. The undulations of the water were like numerous lovely parabolic curves. It was autumn, and the chilly morning breeze sent shivers to our body once in a while. But we were happy and these shivers did not bother us,

The rising sun in the horizon poured light and smiles on our face. The dreamy ones be- came energetic,

rhythmical up-and-down movements of our sampan were harmonizing with our songs of happiness.

Patience is important. We waited and waited until our first fish came out of the water. Six pairs of eyes were glued on this exceptionally big fish although it may be con- sidered small by experts. But it was great to us! We laughed - heartily

Then the original enthusiasm in us dis- appeared completely. All we wanted to do at that time was to watch that fish. It flapped with all its might to ensure survival.

We all appreciated the illustration, of the fish's behaviour. Its struggling is a natural phenomenon. Though every fish would do alike în similar circumstances, our "great" fish was a bit special to us.

Perhaps it was because of its greatness" that we threw it back into the water with no regret. But to say that it was because our sym- pathy had grown that we let the fish go is not too far from being true, n

Seconds later, our fanaticism came back. Fishing rods were in action once more. And the next victim was not so fortunate: we took it home for lunch:

Comments

Believe it or not, this essay was written by a form four boy. And in the original essay, he had made only seven grammatical mis- takes some of which I'll use as examples in my later error analysis.

2. We can see that this essay is very original and vivid. In actual fact his teacher had given the remark "interesting - unexpect-... ed and vivid”. I said original because one can sense that youthful abandon and sym- pathy which permeate this essay, and which are rarely perceived in essays written by adults.

3. It is an example of treating a descriptive topic in a light-hearted way. The essay is humorous at times.

4. Let's analyse the plot. The first two para- graphs focus on the description of the weather and the surroundings. The third paragraph leads the readers to fishing. The next four paragraphs are about their first catch and what they did about it. The last paragraph is a good ending: it brings out a change in their actions (Fishing rods were in action once more) and one in their attitudes (The next victim was not so fortunate).

5. The following phrases, clauses or sentences

deserve our note.

The use of a total of six.

The air was refreshing.

The rising sm in the horizon poured

light and smiles on our face

in action

with all its might seconds later

P.S. As I've been away from Hong Kong on academic grounds, I could not see through the production of ENGLISH [13]. I apologize for any inconvenience that fol lowing misprintings in last week's column have caused your ey

(1) In line 4 of the paragraph under the heading ARTICLES, "nothing" should read "noting”.

(2) In line 5 of the paragraph under the sub-beading Routine reports, "and" should read “are”.

1981

四期星

日八月一年一八九一圈公年十七國民華中育教僑華

a+bi = 2+1

(sine-cose)

8cm

4 cm

(ext of

quia)

As shown in the fig

EAE

LÉBA = x+1

(ext o

[BAL+ZABE+{AE} = 180°

(/sum A

= 1.80

2x+(e+f)

1.800

Since

- 4 (180° ~(e+i)]

e = 40°,

ZECF

[180°-(10°+36°))

Ans

4,(1) The slope of the straight

line 3x-y=0 is

The slope of the required" straight line is

Consider the equation 2x-3y+4+k(2x−y) = 0

2(x+1)x−(k+3)y+4 =

The slope is 2(k+1) (K+3) 2(k+1)

(ii) The equation

2x-3y+4+k(2x−y) represents a family of straight lines passing. through the intersec-

tion of the straight

lines

2x-3y+4 =

12x-y= 0.

S.L

From (2),

中學會考試題預習專欄

新數里 (十四) 明德出版社番榮家提供資料

Modern Kathematics (14)

W-K.Lo

(Mill & Dale Fress Ltd)

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